ASEM And Father Biggus Dikkus

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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2004 9:38 am

Have posted this here until I get round to paying for more personal webspace...

Decided to try J.Dog's ASEM, worked first time !

Sent this message to [email protected] (who was posing as Hilda Mupesa, a widowed wife in Zimbabwe, unfortunately for 'her' the headers pointed to Senegal).

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 30 June 2004 14:06
Subject : My Donation

Dear Father Biggus Dikkus,
Thank you for agreeing to me sending you the lesser amount of $17,500 to rebuild your church roof in Dakar, Senegal. I'm only sorry that I can't afford the full $25,000 but I'll get this to you as soon as I'm able.
In the meantime please let me know how and where I can send the $17,500.

Best Regards
Reverend Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Low and behold, within an hour and a half Biggus Dikkus replies from a new yahoo account the greedy bastard:

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus ([email protected])
Date : 30 June 2004 15:39
Subject : Thank you so much.

Attn:Rev,Mike Hunt.

thanks somuchfor your mail andyour acceptance to send the money. please i will like to let you know that by tomorrow that i will give you the name you will use in sending the money to a friend of mind in Spain because it will be very difficult to get the money from here and please i will like you to inform if you will use western union or money gram. please i will like to know this by today .

I will be looking forward to hear from you and meanwhile by tomorrow i will give you the name but i will like you to let me know if is western union or money gram you will use.

Please reply me with this new email address because they have tampered with the first one. Yeah righto.
Thanks for your assistance once more and the almighty father will surley bless you.
Yours faithfully,
Fr.Dikkus.

So excited is he that he must have fallen off his seedy internet caf� chair

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 30 June 2004 17:01
Subject : Re: Thank you so much.

Father Biggus,
Thank you for replying so quickly, I'm afraid I've lost all my previous records on this deal including your passport and completed application form for membership of our church as my computer failed.
There's no immediate rush for your application form (I'll send another copy for you to complete once I get the church computer back from the repair shop) but I could do with your passport or any other form of id.

Regarding the payment, I'm not familiar with Moneygram but have used WU before, but isn't there a maximum amount I can send in one go ? I thought this was $10,000 but I could be wrong.

Perhaps we could discuss - you should have my number but here it is again +1 206 337 0607 (I'm in the US so don't know how you make an international call from Senegal).
If I don't answer just leave a message.
Thanks
Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Thanks to k7 for the number.

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus
Date : 01 July 2004 08:32
Subject : Expecting .

Attn:Rev,Mike Hunt.

Once again, i appreciated all you are doing, regarding the application i will have them fill as soon as you send it to me and also the indentification i will try to have my passport scan and send to you but it have to take a little time because were i used to scan their machine had problem and i will do that as soon as they have it restored.

Meanwhile, regarding the money , because of some laws here now over money regulation, i think it will be better that you should send the money to a friend of mine in spain in evergalisim work whom will be coming back by weekend so that he will get it over to me and i think you can make it in two istanlementals through western union .

Please his name and address is this below:

MR. JACOBS BOYO Obviously from Wales then
Address: C/CORDOBA,
#21 PLANTA ,
2-A, 28204, MADRID,
SPAIN.

And please send to me the transfer information as soon as you did that so that i can forward it tohim.

I will be waiting to get the transfer information so that i can forward it to him.

Yours faithfully,
Fr.Dikkus.

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 01 July 2004 09:10
Subject : Re: Thank you so much.

Father,
Don't worry about the passport, I have a copy already.
As you previously have done for me, please fill out the enclosed form for membership to our church.

Please let me know the name of your friend in Spain and how he/she would
like the money transferred.
I can pay up to $10,000 at at time through WU so I'll need to make two payments.

You have my phone number if you need to discuss.

Thanks
Reverend Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

OK so I didn't have a copy of his passport but I didn't want to make him suspicious if I asked him for another one and it didn't match my copy. Enclosed my standard form for membership to the Holy Church of the Lifted Shirts, a photograph is to be included with the applicant bending over holding a sign that says 'I'm a Shirt Lifter'

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus
Date: 01 July 2004 12:37
Subject : Appreciated.

Attn:Rev,Mike Hunt.

Thanks for your mail and the attached form,i will fill it later and gave it scan and send back to you . Meanwhile, the informationof my friend was included in the mail sent toyou this morning, i think you can see it .

Once, again, thanks for all your efforts and the almighty father will surely reward you in aboudountly.

I hope that you can be able to send the money to him so that it will get to me because he will probarbly be leaving spain this week.

Yours faithfully,
Fr.Dikkus.

I don't know where aboudountly is but I'm not going there

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 01 July 2004 16:32
Subject : Re: Appreciated.

Father,
I've missed the bank today I'm afraid because I accidentally shot my neighbour's dog while hunting lemmings so I've spent the best part of today apologising to him and looking around pet shops in my area for another Shitzu/Dobermann crossbreed.
I have your friend's details in Spain so I should be able to make the payments tomorrow afternoon.
Please accept my apologies, the previous form I sent you had reference to the Church of a colleague of mine. Enclosed is the correct form.
I know you sent me the application form back very quickly last time so I'm sure you can do it again.

Do you have any pictures of your congregation, I'd love to see their happy faces now that they know the Church roof is to be replaced.

May God be with you.
Reverend Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Oops, I previously sent him a copy of an application form for another of my churches 'The Church of the Blessed Virgin's Dress' (another bait looking for a bloke in a dress trophy but that's a different story) so hurriedly put together the correct one. Goes unnoticed...

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus
Date : 03 July 2004 14:09
Subject : I hope ok ?

Attn:Rev,Mike Hunt.

Good day and how are you hope ok ?

I have not heard from you or get the information of the money you sent. please get back to me so that i will know that everything is ok with you.

Yours faithfully.

Fr.Dikkus.

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 06 July 2004 08:44
Subject : Re: I hope ok ?

Father,
Unfortunately I didn't get to the bank either Friday or yesterday, had a bit of an emergency. The Church collection plate was stolen during our Friday service so we had the Police in along with their fingerprinting division, everyone was interviewed (including myself).
We were even subjected to internal body searches, that's how seriously they treat any sort of crime here.

I'm still waiting for the completed application form before I proceed, once I have this you will get all you deserve.

Regards
Mike Hunt
for The Church of The Lifted Shirts

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus
Date : 07 July 2004 08:37
Subject : Ok

Attn: Mike Hunt.

Thanks for your mail and am very sorry on what happened in your church and i believed that the almighty father will take care of that.

Now, please i will like you to forward to me the copy of my passport and the form i earlier sent you because recently i just lost my passport and i will not like to make any mistake on filling the form, so i will be very happy if you can do that since you said that its only when i sent the form that you can send the money and you should also remember that i told you that the place where i have to do the scanning is not functioning now and i dont know when it will be ok. so i will like you also to consider that and see if you can send the money in order to save souls

Please i will be waiting for your positive response

Yours faithfully,

Fr.Dikkus

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 07 July 2004 10:51
Subject : Re: Ok

Father,
Thanks for your concern, the collection plate turned up without the money - we estimated there was about $800 dollars in there.

Don't worry about the passport, I don't need it. I just need the application form filled in. As I said, your original form (and the required photograph) was on my old computer which is broken. I now have a new PC - an IBM UDIK WAD 3.0ghz CPU, 512mb memory, it's a donkey's knob of a machine.

I have enclosed the form again for you to complete, please send this back to me as soon as you can complete with the photograph for our records.

Even though our collection was lost I have been able to raise another $2,000, I'll send this to you as a token of my thanks once I receive the form and photograph. Without these the Church elders will not let me send the money.

Please do this quickly. You need the money for the church !

GOD be with you.
Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Bit of a sweetener there, another $2000 just for him

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 09 July 2004 09:48
Subject : Donation

Father Biggus,
If you have found another source for your building project then please let me know soonest and I'll put the $17,500 to another use. As I said previously I have an additional $2000 which I will give to you. I just need the completed form and the required photograph for our records.

Please let me know.
I have enclosed a photograph of our church.

Be informed that after today I will be in hospital to have an old war wound removed, you see I have a bullet lodged in my backside caused by an angry parishioner.
I will be out of contact for one week.
Regards
Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Small push to get him moving and I was going on holiday so had to stall.
Included my 'church' photograph

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus
Date : 13 July 2004 14:59
Subject : Sorry

Attn: Rev. Mike Hunt.

Thanks for your mails so far, actually, i have finished the form but the problem now is to have it scan and send to you but the issue now is where i suppose to scan it their machine is not working because of our locality, so please i will like you to have patients in respect of these and if you would not mind you can go ahead and send the money as i directed you because our congregation are looking forward to hear that we have started work on the roofing because now is rainy season here and its really affacting us badly. so i will be happy to se that you know what to do in regards of that and i promised you that as son s the mchine is ok i will scan it and send to you and we are very sorry in the operation you are about going for and would always prayer for you and successfull surgary.

Please i will like you to do that before going for your operation.

Yours faithfully,

Fr. Biggus.

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 19 July 2004 09:59
Subject : Re: Sorry

Father,
I'm back, there were complications I'm afraid which is why I'm only back now.
Please endeavour to send me the form and photograph (as you have done before) then you can have your money.
I have faith in you Father.

Regards
Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus
Date : 20 July 2004 08:45
Subject : Try to understand me

(The muppet included exactly the same message he sent on 13 July entitled �Sorry�)

Getting bored so threw a few curved balls.

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 20 July 2004 09:10
Subject : Re: Try to understand me

Father,
Please try to understand me. You can have your money once I have the completed form and photograph, I want to give the $17,500 for the roof fund (plus the $2,000 for yourself) but you are not making this easy. Please try to get this scanned and sent as soon as possible.

Have you told your wife yet that you are gay ?
Remember we talked about this some time ago and you felt you were ready to tell her but she would have been very angry because the man you were seeing was your uncle.
The Church does not care about your sexual preferences, it embraces any sort of sexual deviancy.
It must be doubly difficult with you having only one leg too.

Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Quote:

From : Biggus Dikkus
Date : 22 July 2004 15:11
Subject : ok

Attn: Rev.Mike Hunt.

Thnaks for your mail and its well understood, anyway I have been trying to scan the picture but due to the
scan problem but hopefully by next week i will have my picture scan and the form fill and send to you.

Coming to the other issue i ahve not inform her but am trying to know in the conditin she will be before i
can do that, you know my wife is a sort of woman. But i believed that it will not bring any problem because
i will know how to put it to her.

I hope by tomorrow or next week i will have everything
send to you.

Yours faithfully.

Fr. Biggus.

OK so we�ve established he�s a shirt lifter and giving swift ones to his uncle. Just scan and send the bloody form !!

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date: 22 July 2004 17:00
Subject : Re: ok

Father,
Please make sure you get this to me as soon as you can. If I look at my bank statement one more time with that $20,000 in it I might have to spend it myself.

I'm sure your wife will be fine, after all she forgave you having sex with that donkey didn't she.

Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

No response...maybe he didn�t want to admit that he shagged animals. Time for a chaser

Quote:

From : Mike Hunt
Date : 27 July 2004 10:05
Subject : What's happening ?

Father Dikkus,
The longer this goes on the more I'm thinking you no longer want my money.
Please let me know soonest as I have come across an orphanage project in Cote D'Ivoire that needs attention.

If you send back the application form complete with the required picture then you can have your money.

I hope your wife is fine.

Mike Hunt
for The Church of the Lifted Shirts

Nothing, not even an 'OK' response, dammit.

Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004 10:16 pm

classic! fine work! i give it two thumbs up!

i too am a Reverend, "Rev. Tony Alfanso"... a bigtime pornography buff, and i like to make up scripture on the fly. funny thing is, nobody has ever questioned the Holy Scripture that i quote in nearly every email, and trust me, its not even CLOSE to being believable by anyone with more than 2 brain cells. most of the time they tell me how comforting and nice the scripture is that i quote them... weird.

but then again, these are the GUYS that will post for pictures saying "RIMJOB QUEEN", "SHAFTIN~ME~BUHNHOHLE", "IMACUMHO", "RIM LOVER", etc. ROTF!!!

again, very nice work. we should team up on some of these fucks... two Reverends... could be very interesting! i have MANY baits on hold or in waiting, on top of the mile long list of ones already ongoing!! MANNNY to choose from!! we could do some indoctrination ceremonies, baptise them, so forth Wink

think about it! lemm know!

-foker

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:12 am

Thanks foker!
I've actually had another message from the clown promising the forms so still holding out for the trophies. As an extra push I've 'found' the extra $5000 so I'll tell him the good news.

Let me finish up with this one and a couple of others I have on the go and I'll take you up.

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:36 am

LOL This one had me coffee spraying all over my monitor:

Quote:

you know my wife is a sort of woman

What the h*ll else would she be? My wife is a sort of monkey? Then again, you never know with those mugus...

Great bait!

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:39 am

LOL, I'm a minister too (really, gotta love the ULC).
May have to incorporate a church in somewhere once I get the hang of this.

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