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 Somehow I don't think she's a real Christian

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sunshine
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Standard dying widow mail...

Quote:
It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organisation of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless babies home where i come from.I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows.


I reply

Quote:

Dear Mrs Roder.
I am sorry but as a lifelong atheist I am unable to help you in this matter.
I hope that you are feeling better soon.


She gets back with page 2 of the script


Quote:
MY BELOVED,
I MUST SAY I AM VERY VERY HAPPY TO HAVE RECEIVED YOUR
EMAIL WHICH I WAS GOING THROUGH FASTING AND PRAYING
WHICH THE LORD ALMYTHY TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE THE ONE
WHO HIS GOING TO CARRY OUT THIS CONSIGNMENT AS IT HAS
BROUGHT LIFE INTO ME, THANKS A LOT AND
GOD BLESS YOU.YOU HAVE TO ONE THAT GOD HAS CHOSEN FOR THIS TRANSACTION YOU ARE BLESSED ALREADY


Hmmm...
Quote:

Mrs Rodder

Are you absolutely sure that you are feeling OK? I did state in my previous email to you that I am a committed atheist and in your reply you are going on about a god guiding me to you. I have to say that this is very unlikely. Are you sure they have not got you on morphine or something in that hospital?

However if you are absolutely certain that I am the right person to manage your wealth after your death I will gladly oblige. My intention would be to set up a fund to assist a poor and downtrodden section of the community who are normally referred to as furries who are much maligned because of their need to dress up as anthropomorphic animals. This fund I am proposing would exist to provide these unfortunate people with fursuits, vast quantities of alcoholic beverages, nasty foreign bestiality tapes and tickets to Anthrocon.

If you are happy with your funds being spent as I propose please get back to me and I will contact your barrister.

Kind regards



Quote:
MY DEAR BELOVED

CONTACT BARRISTER FRANK COPPER,HE WILL MAKE YOU THE BENNEFICIARY OF MY FUND LYING IN THE SECURITY COMPANY.


Rocking! Anyone in need of a new mongoose costume just let me know.

Rolling Eyes

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
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Last edited by sunshine on Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MissDirection
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Joined: 15 Jul 2008
Posts: 84


PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh my. I believe this deserves a: ROFLMAO!!!!!
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The Man
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Joined: 11 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You atheists and your gods confuse me Wink

_________________
---
The Man

YOU ARE A CHILD OF SATAN WITH YOUR HUNGRY DIRTY BODY ,TUNDER FIRE YOU BIG HEAD IDIOT !!! HA HA HA HA HA

IS THIS HOW YOU DECIDED TO TREAT US AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH?YOU MADE US TRAVELLED TO ABUJA AND INDEBTED US.

"Cursed is your mother that gave birth to a family-disgrace like you. Cursed is your father he could not control his lust for anything under skate"

"hey u crakhead motherf*cking nitwit, from the way u express the cockamamy sh*t that ur dumb brain is made up of it's so obvious that u never really made it past elementary school but anywayz dogs don't have to go to school afterall."

Pith Helmet (Lagos to Abuja)
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HitchHiker
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've never been able to put my faith in atheists.

Sounds like you could have a fun/frustrating time there.

_________________
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Titania
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

dying woman wrote:
THE LORD ALMYTHY


That proves it. She worships some god named Almythy.
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BRUIN
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Joined: 10 Apr 2006
Posts: 9077
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

At some point in the bait, be sure to quote the Second Gospel of Peter, Chapter 4, verse 19, to her: "Lo, it is better to be a goat than to be insincere to your fellow man".

Bruin

_________________
------------------------------
pony pony pony Easter Egg 2011

Safari Ivory Coast to Ghana by Margaret Don & Angus (WIMP) - approx 524 miles, round trip

Safari Lagos to Ghana (WIMP) by Emanuel, approx 454 miles round trip

YOU CAN GO TO HAIL - Barrister Benard Koffi

YOU HAVE REALLY INCONVINSE THE CHAMBERS AND WE HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTER SUCH DIFICULTIES - Barrister Sinega Amah

I will not and will never link you up to someone that is reputable - Thomas Malcom

UR A FUCKING DESTITUTE. U WERE A DRAIN DUCK AND NOW U A SCAM FRAUDSTAR -- SMALL TIME 419. - Marcus Owen

South Africa

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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way


Joined: 02 Dec 2007
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Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America


PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Is that what a furry is? I'd been afraid to ask.

_________________
Malaysia United Kingdom Nigeria x3 Ivory Coast

FEMALE

"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali

"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack

"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith

"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se

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thomas-the-tank
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Bruin - I am compiling quotations from the Book of Isaac, which are handy on these occasions. Some day I may provide the list as a resource for the community. It's strange, but many of Isaac's proverbs and prophecies are also caprine in nature.

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


United Kingdom x 3 x 2 Ivory Coast Australia x 2 Benin
Safari Wole A x 4!! :
pony pony pony pony Goat <= don't ask about the goat! Inventor
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thomas-the-tank
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My reply to the same lady's barrister:
Quote:
Dear Bannister

I have been given your name by your dying client, Mrs. Roder, who was infamous for the hospitality she offered between her thighs on her frequent visits to our country.

Now that the old bat is about to snuff it, I would like some of the loot. She has offered me 20%, but I think my role in this modality is worth much more, like 55%. What do you think?

Love
[male character]

I think we may have a really dumb one here.

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


United Kingdom x 3 x 2 Ivory Coast Australia x 2 Benin
Safari Wole A x 4!! :
pony pony pony pony Goat <= don't ask about the goat! Inventor
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Professor So And So
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Joined: 16 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, this is definitely one to watch. Great stuff. Laughing

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
Safari - William - Accra, Ghana - Maiduguri, Nigeria
Safari - Miracle - Benin - N'Djamena, Chad - "Too much mosquitoes"
Safari - Godspower - Ghana - N'Djamena, Chad
Golden Pith - Adamu - Lagos, Nigeria - Abeche, Chad (100 days in hell) - Shocked - "SAVE ME"
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Run_Left
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Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 5
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Furries everywhere thank you for your generosity and support!! Laughing

Darn, I had a pic, but I can't attach it??
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15076
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A Cancer letter that attracted the attention of included:

Quote:
I do not know why i chose you for this but i am of the believe that it is God's directions and he never failed me. The funds will be entirely in hands for management and i pray God gives you the wisdom to touch many lives of the poor in your country and outside your country.


Cammy replied:

Quote:
Please hold on for just a moment. I have to make some things clear.
You referred to "God's directions" and "i pray God" - if this means you are a Christian, then I should tell you that I'm not. I worship the Aesir, the Lords of Asgard, most notably Odin and Freyja. I'm willing to help the poor, trust me, but not in the name of Christianity. I hope you understand this. I never like to mislead, and especially not one in your position.


Her reply:

Quote:
What you said in the email is okay by me, all i want form you is to use the money a be a blessing to the poor incase i do not recover from this sickness.


Thereafter, until her untimely death, references to God were perfunctory.

Previously, had received a Cancer Letter including:

Quote:
Eliza i really sense you can help and i believe you are a God fearing Woman.Like the saying goes "the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know". I believe i have been able to explain why i contacted you and i pray the Lord gives you direction on how to go about everything.
I hope to here from you soon,so i will contact my lawyer to get in touch with you on the necessary take over process.And please assure me that you will act just as i have stated.
Thanks once more for your response.I await your reply
May Almighty God walk with you and guide you
.

Eliza replied:

Quote:
I'll be straight with you - I'm not a God-fearing woman in the sense you mean. I'm not a Christian. I give worship to Odin Alfadur of the Aesir - the gods worshipped by the Vikings and the Germanic tribes in past ages; the deities of our Aryan heritage.
I'll do all I can to help you - just understand that I can't do anything to assist Christian works. Charities are OK, like helping widows and orphans; but no missionary stuff.


But it was OK:

Quote:
Thanks for your help and sorry about the Christain thing what i meant was that i sense you have a kind heart.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
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BRUIN
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thomas - My mistake!! My quote was from the Book of Isaac, and not from the Second Gospel of Peter. But, at least I was right with the rest of the citation: Chapter 4, verse 19!

Bruin

_________________
------------------------------
pony pony pony Easter Egg 2011

Safari Ivory Coast to Ghana by Margaret Don & Angus (WIMP) - approx 524 miles, round trip

Safari Lagos to Ghana (WIMP) by Emanuel, approx 454 miles round trip

YOU CAN GO TO HAIL - Barrister Benard Koffi

YOU HAVE REALLY INCONVINSE THE CHAMBERS AND WE HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTER SUCH DIFICULTIES - Barrister Sinega Amah

I will not and will never link you up to someone that is reputable - Thomas Malcom

UR A FUCKING DESTITUTE. U WERE A DRAIN DUCK AND NOW U A SCAM FRAUDSTAR -- SMALL TIME 419. - Marcus Owen

South Africa

Hello Kitty! <--- TS certified
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thomas-the-tank
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 1087
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A few quotations from the Book of Isaac which it would be nice if other people would use so that they become part of the lads' discourse:

A reason for not talking on the phone:
Isaac wrote:
"Thou shalt not converse with the stranger beyond the seas unless thou thereby see his face." [ch 4, v2]

Let me remind you of the words of the Book of Isaac (ch4 v11) referring to men who lead young women into the paths of unrighteousness (I've used this on a lad who fell in love with my female character and started making explicit suggestions to her:
Isaac wrote:
"Thou shalt be cast onto a steaming dung-heap, O thou wolf in sheep's clothing!"

Also the Letter of Saint Paul to the Elbonians (ch1 v14):
Paul to the Elbonians wrote:
"Hear this, O ye whose name is but a byword for depravity, for you will be kicked by an incontinent camel!"

Remember, as the Bible says in the Book of Isaac (I have no idea what these mean, but they sound good to me):
Isaac wrote:
"Honey tastes sweetest to him with the longest tongue"

and
Isaac wrote:
"Between the rocks shall ye discover the cradle of the golden child"

A quote from the Book of Isaac:
Isaac wrote:
"May your affairs prosper like the cedar, and those of your enemies wither as goat dung in the noon sun."

Is it not written in the Book of Isaac for use when replying to a Christian dying widow that:
Isaac wrote:
"He who helpeth the stranger across the seas shall enjoy the blessings of the Lord"

And for further good wishes (my personal favorite):
Isaac wrote:
"May the Lord set your enemies before you as on a dungheap, and the spirit of your foes be as urine in the wind."

But we need more...

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


United Kingdom x 3 x 2 Ivory Coast Australia x 2 Benin
Safari Wole A x 4!! :
pony pony pony pony Goat <= don't ask about the goat! Inventor
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way


Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America


PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Also the Letter of Saint Paul to the Elbonians (ch1 v14):


Surely you mean Saint Dilbert.

_________________
Malaysia United Kingdom Nigeria x3 Ivory Coast

FEMALE

"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali

"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack

"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith

"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se

Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> pony
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MissDirection
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 15 Jul 2008
Posts: 84


PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

thomas-the-tank: Perfect! Do you have any links to a website with more quotes like these? One must be aware of all the holy guidelines in order to live his or her life in the proper righteous manner. Wink

_________________
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thomas-the-tank
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

No, no Web site for these (these are all of my own making). If I ever decide to write the Book of Isaac, or at least selections from it, I'll make them available.

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


United Kingdom x 3 x 2 Ivory Coast Australia x 2 Benin
Safari Wole A x 4!! :
pony pony pony pony Goat <= don't ask about the goat! Inventor
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