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 Wtf, with a *table*??? (Slightly NSFW)

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bohigal
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly.

Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.
.
.
.
<snip>


http://www.wnwo.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=150083

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Last edited by bohigal on Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ShadowBeastie
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Shocked Wow! Shocked

You know, I jokingly tell guys to go find a knothole, but I didn't think anyone would take that seriously! Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Strongside
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Shocked wtf.

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Nanny Ogg
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck


Aw well ,that's alright then!

Makes a bit more sense than the man caught with a bicycle
BBC

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Connie L. Gus
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ahhem. Please do not bait as Art Price, Jr. That would just be wrong. But what was this guy thinking? Did he move up from night stands to coffee tables, dinner tables and then picnic tables?

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bohigal
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ You are absolutely right, CLG. Edited the thread title accordingly.

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Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
You will have my nuts in your hands as soon as i have the latrine in my hand & i will pay the goats to the lawyer
My dear with this only, it is clear you have contacted and communicated with Africa Fraudsters and even send funds to him. what a pity!
YOU ARE A WITCH. MAY YOU MENSURATE NON STOP TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE
Golden PithSafari Mortar Tattoo Vcamera Closed lad accountsSand Timer Team Hector:Lagos-Douala,Benin-Liberia,Senegal-Gambia-Mali-Chad, Egypt ,Awka w/ Shorty
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Tsnerd
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Darn near as funny as the the guy out in California engaging in mutual acts with his lawnmower. Laughing

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bohigal
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This only became a "crime" when the voyeuristic neighbor decided to keep watching and to videotape the proceedings several times. Otherwise who would have pressed charges, the table? In my opinion consenting adults (and furniture) should be able to do what they want in the privacy of their own home.

We can only hope our baiting drives lads to this type of desperation.

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Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
You will have my nuts in your hands as soon as i have the latrine in my hand & i will pay the goats to the lawyer
My dear with this only, it is clear you have contacted and communicated with Africa Fraudsters and even send funds to him. what a pity!
YOU ARE A WITCH. MAY YOU MENSURATE NON STOP TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE
Golden PithSafari Mortar Tattoo Vcamera Closed lad accountsSand Timer Team Hector:Lagos-Douala,Benin-Liberia,Senegal-Gambia-Mali-Chad, Egypt ,Awka w/ Shorty
Sand Timer Sand Timer Shorty Safari Abidjan w/ Juan
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doc holliday
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think the point was that he and his beloved furniture were performing on the outside of their home.Still,to tape it several times speaks volumes about the neighbor.

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ShadowBeastie
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Furniture porn, directed by visionary Davenport. Hrm... wonder if there is a market? Laughing

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Look what pet peddler pets can do!
I just do not know why, You know some people are very jelouse and wicked. Have you send the money already?
AND fuke your ass
AND Who the hell do you call your boss. Is your boss Idleness?--kelly notsobriete

yes i mating pair. ok. you will have to pay me $3500 when you receive them.
AND you are a thief. you are not in USA. please send me your number to call then i will happily call the airport to proceed with the shipping.--Hey Jude
Cameroon is not in Ireland. i am not a snake piss seller
AND i have very healthy ship that i will be shipping them to you ok.-- Mac Ferdy
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sheboppe
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ewwwwwww.... puke He could at least do it with something that is alive.

Quote:
That would just be wrong. But what was this guy thinking?


Well he definitely wasn't thinking with the head that sits on his shoulders.

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Ima Baeder
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Shocked Shocked Shocked Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

There are just so many things wrong. And I can't stop laughing.

Foreplay:
Quote:
Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck.


Quote:
admitted to having sex with the table inside his home.


He sometimes drags the table inside? It must be special occasions like their anniversary.

I really can't stop laughing right now. Laughing Laughing

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bearkat419
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The details getting lost in this are the open doorway, front porch, and nearby elementary school...

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ChainYanker
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nanny Ogg wrote:


Makes a bit more sense than the man caught with a bicycle
BBC


And even that's not as Shocked as the guy who was caught having relations with the pavement (and no, I'm not sure of the mechanics, either).

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luckey
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck.


I found that somehow comforting. Laughing

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sheboppe
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

It amazes me how people can commit such acts. Shocked

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Jimmy Jazz
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

There is only one thing that concerns me about this story.

Splinters. crying

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^ @ sheboppe

For a truly educational experience you should talk with a longtime ER staffer.

IMHO Beavis & Buthead was a documentary.
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crashhoot
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
with a *table*???


This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, 'morning wood"!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm guessing it was one of cheap nasty splinter-free plastic tables. As you can see they come suitably, er, "equipped"... Image

I'll never be able to look under a table cloth while keeping a straight face again.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
The incidents occurred between January and March 2008


The ads claim he should see a Doctor if the woodie lasts more than 4 hours.. Laughing

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Eight
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

the usually very urbane Tsnerd wrote:
Darn near as funny as the the guy out in California engaging in mutual acts with his lawnmower. Laughing


Mutual? With a lawnmower? Shocked Tell me, is it really a lot less bovver with a hover? Shocked Laughing

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:05 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I new a bloke at the pub who would bring up the legalities about sex with vegetables.
I never asked him to elaborate Confused

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I heard after this came out... the china cabinet filed for devorce on the ground of infadelity

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Tsnerd
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Laughing

Lovely Eight wrote:
Mutual? With a lawnmower?


I clearly misspoke. I meant consens...no, that isn't right. Oh, similar. That's the word. Very Happy Off to look up 'Urbane' ...dang British people, and their hoity-toity words ending in 'e'.

Lovelier Ima wrote:
It must be special occasions like their anniversary.



Laughing Picturing that conversation:

"Hi, table. We've been together seven years, and ever since I first saw you at Home Depot, I knew that you were the table for me. Tonight, I have something special planned. Listen, remember that thing, you know, the one I told you about...my secret thought? Well, table, I'd like you to meet sofa."

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