Agnes always gets the lads upset

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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 3:48 am

Like T-the-T, I somehow missed this thread earlier. I'm glad it came back to the top as this was the most entertaining read I've had in a long time. Jayhawk, you're a very creative writer!

I'm still laughing about the Bunny Ranch, and I mean that literally. That was absolutely hilarious. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He quits me (again). I'm not concerned though. He can't really quit me.

Quote:

Dear beloved,

What exactly do you want from me? I gave you a transaction to handle and up till now no progress, you requested for the doctor phone number and email, I gave you, you requested for the bank phone number, I gave you. What else do you want to finalised this transaction. Instead, you write my doctor, and call him quack. You are not doing anything about the transaction on ground, well I think the doctor is right with the kind of email he sent to you.

Since you are not serious about this transaction, I have issued another letter of authorization to someone else to finalise this transaction, I shall henceforth disregard your email, goodbye.

Sarah G

I guess Agnes has nothing left to do but to send the money. This is the third "I shall start disregarding your email" email that I've gotten from him. He just can't quit Agnes! Agnes to lad:

Quote:

Mrs. G you promised me that I could help you with your money and I intend to make sure that you keep that promise. I was concerned about you and the care that you are getting. Is that so wrong? I still don't really trust the bank but I will send them the $650 they ask for today. I just want to make sure that you are being well taken care of and instead I get yelled at by your doctor who apparently has forgotten about his Hippopotamus oath. He told me that you were fine Mrs. Grunt. What was I supposed to do? You obviously are not fine and this quack of a doctor thinks that you are fine and then yells at me! Everyone has been yelling at me lately and all I'm trying to do is help!

Agnes Skinner

Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:50 am

Quote:

Hippopotamus oath Very Happy

I always thought a hippopotamus oath was "&*#@!!! A **$#ing hippo's coming!" But I stand corrected. Obviously it's a specialist doctor's term, and will be a required item in any medical forms I send to lads in the future.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

An update. Mrs. G has died, and Agnes sent the money to the wrong bank. Actually, she sent it to someone named "Adamu" in Chad. Hey, what was she to do? They asked for the same amount of money. But my lad is very helpful to Agnes:

Quote:

LL0YDS TSB BANK Plc
INTERNATI0NAL BANKING DIVISION
xxxxxxxxxxx
UNITED KINGDOM
Tel: +xx xxxxx 46335, +xx xxxxx 12201, +xx-xxxxx-9811
Fax: +xxxxxxxx5205
4th July, 2008

Attn: Agnes,

We do not know Mr. L, why didn't you check our email address and theirs? The are many scam artists looming the internet in recent times, so you have to be very careful, you have made payment to the wrong people and thus, they have scammed you.

Please do your best and raise money for the activation of Mrs. G dormant account. Beware of those people you sent money, do not respond to their email anymore, do not allow them to convince you because they are going to ask you to pay more money, please be very careful and avoid them completely.

Please be fast to finalise this transaction, we received an email from Mrs. G's doctor that Mrs G is dead, so you are the only beneficiary, so we want you o act fast or else the fund will be confiscated into the UK GOVERNMENT ACCOUNT. Please act fast for the sake of God and Late Mrs. G.

Please make payment with the below informations:

Poor Mrs. G. I think I might have killed her, as she didn't want to talk to me anymore. Actually, her doctor doesn't answer me anymore either. Just the bank. Naturally I will want a copy of the death certificate.

I think I have been passed up the ladder by my initial lad, as the english in this email is MUCH better. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:13 pm

R.I.P. Mrs. G.

Laughing

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

^^^ Amen to that.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I just had to share this one. Agnes keeps asking the bank how she can get her money back from the terrible people that scammed her (Note that the bank is back to using all caps):

Quote:

WE DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU CAN GET THIS MONEY BACK BECAUSE WE DO NOT KNOW THEM. YOU CAN ASK THEM TO SEND YOUR MONEY BACK TO YOU BUT WE DOUBT IF THEY WILL EVER DO THAT.

WE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE, TELL US HOW MUCH YOU CAN AFFORD TO PAY, SO THIS TRANSACTION CAN BE FINALISED. YOU HAVE BETWEEN TODAY AND TOMORROW 10TH JULY, 20008 TO MAKE PAYMENT OR THE FUND WILL BE CONFISCATED TO THE UK GOVERNMENT ACCOUNT AND WHEN THIS IS SO, CONSIDER THIS TRANSACTION TERMINATED AND THUS YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED MRS. G WHEREVER SHE MAY BE.

Well, I have until 20008, so it looks like Ive got another 18,000 years or so to get this done. I just love the "wherever she may be" part.

What's the deal with the damn brit government taking Mrs. G's money?

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