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Standard e-mail from Mr. Robert Mueller of the American FBI, referring me to our dearest Prof. Soludo. Won't bother you with the crap. It's really long and boring. I replied this:
Att Dr. Chewbacca Soludo(I changed his name on purpose)
I was instructed to contact you, regarding a deposit in name that is in your bank.
Please, inform me how I get my money. I really need it.
Standard long-ass reply I get. Nearly two pages long. Along with it he sent some crappy passport photochop. Only asking for $498.00 for administrative costs.
Dear Prof. Chewbacca Soludo:
Can you condense what you just said?? Is too long for me to read, I have very bad eyes. Less wording and more essence, please
Do you want me to send cash money, again?? I already sent some money to a Barrister Uhura. Around $4,000.00. He said he works for the Central Bank of Nigeria
Please get back to me. I need my money.
Dr. Alphonse Mephesto
Lo and behold, around 20 minutes later, I get this:
Please provide a phone number so i can call to explain this to you.
Prof C Soludo
My reply this morning:
Dear Prof Solodo:
Sorry, but I don't have a phone. Don't need one because I am deaf. I lost my hearing several years ago.
Please get back to me as soon as possible. Barrister Uhura wrote me again yesterday, but I did not answered his e-mail. I already paid him $4,000. He wanted me to send more money to him for some certificates and something he called VAT, but now I don't know what to do. I need my money.
Dr. Alphonse Mephesto
This is where we stand know. Hopefully I can get a bank account to kill
_________________ Back from the deaded
Darth Sidious Message Animal
Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Tue May 13, 2008 5:14 pm
Dam!! This lad is fast!
I would advise you to desist from contacting this man again as he is not an official of our bank, if you read my previous email properly you would understand that all that is required of you is to secure a sworn affidavit from the federal high court of Nigeria and once this document is released to my bank we would immediately proceed with your payment to you at no cost.
You can either visit Nigeria to take care of this in person or you have the fees sent to the court so they can have this affidavit sworn in your favor and released to my bank.
If you are unable to visit Nigeria you should immediately proceed and send the funds in the name of the court clerk either by western union money transfer or money gram with the following information.
NAME: MR Idiot Scammer
ADDRESS: Some crappy hut in Ladgeria.
SECRET QUESTION: WHICH YEAR?
ANSWER: BLESSED 2008.
AMOUNT: $498 ONLY (So cheap. I'm willing to spend more)
Once you make the payment you are to email the following details back to me so I can send a lawyer from my office to go and swear the sworn affidavit of claim on your behalf:
1: THE 10 DIGIT MTCN NUMBER.
2: THE SENDERS NAME AND ADDRESS.
3: THE AMOUNT SENT.
4: TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER
I thank you for your anticipated co-operation and understanding.
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