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 Am I being used?

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Trawler
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 16 Feb 2006
Posts: 72


PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2008 8:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I was having a great relationship with a nice man; he emailed me with all kinds of sweet words. We chatted, and I told him all about my loneliness - I am a fairly recent widow; my husband was bitten by a rabid mountain goat while we were climbing Mont Blanc. I have nothing other than my daughter, and the large fortune left by my husband.

Philanthropy is extremely important to me, and I pressed my love to join an existing charitable organization as a volunteer. He didn't want to do that, he wants to start his own organization. We were at something of an impasse, and during this time, he started romancing ANOTHER WOMAN (a close friend of mine, actually, but he doesn't know that - yet). I asked him to write up a proposal for founding a charitable organization, something I can use to get grants from foundations. I have an email from him now, saying he has found property for opening an office, and he wants $4000 to secure it. The same day, he left a chat message to my friend (offline at the time) saying "Good Morning, Angel".

What should I do? I am extremely disappointed that he didn't give any details about the kind of work he wants to do. He says he handles bronze artwork. I don't want to fund a charitable organization devoted to providing the homeless with bronze sculptures, what good is that going to do them?

Should I just send the money anyway, trusting his judgment? Or do any of you have some other ideas?
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MAD
Master Baiter


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 130


PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2008 9:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Bronze statues sold at auction for charity money is always good. But he would need to provide a sample of your choosing (on his nickel) and send it to you (on his nickel) before you could release the funds.

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Ari
Elite Baiter


Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 1269


PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 7:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Unfortunately, his vagueness, the fact that he is wooing your friend, his wanting to start a "charity" for you to donate all sound pretty fishy to me, Trawl. Personally, I would stay away from this guy.

Love scammers are the worst scammers out there, IMO. They go after good, innocent people who are only trying to find someone, and blatantly abuse the trust that is given them.

Please don't send him the money, and please don't bait him, as Mad is suggesting. Even if you haven't given him your personal details, the scammer probably already knows how to persuade you.
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Dutch
Goat hoarder


Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4204
Location: Dislocated


PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 9:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Special_K : I think Trawler is describing a scambait, at least that's what I assume .. and she's kind of stuck .. Maybe we have to get this straight first .. Smile

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Mugatu
** Retired **


Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 3773
Location: The star of India


PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 11:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I agree dutch, although I had to read it a few times and check trawler's previous posts! Trawler is indeed talking about his current bait. Laughing

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Byte Meebum
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Posts: 15
Location: Micronesia/Not so new here


PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

YES - something smells phishy too me
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Trawler
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 16 Feb 2006
Posts: 72


PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 3:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Special_K, I agree with you that love scammers are the worst scammers out there. I took custody of this guy after he sent my friend an email on match.com, and of course his going after my friend really makes me angry. The initial email didn't smell right to her - way too forward. I took one look at it and said "scam".

He wanted to chat right away, I thought that was OK, and did that, sort of making up the story as I went along. I developed a pretty good back story, I think. I was scared he would get wise when I told him my husband died from a mountain goat bite, but he swallowed it whole.

I kept pounding on him to join an existing charitable organization, because if I could get him to do that, he would at least contribute some value to somebody. But that appears to be a no go. My wife told me she thought I had come across as too imperious and scared him off, so I created another account and emailed him from that account, this character is a lot more accommodating, and he wrote this one back and asked her to chat. But he's just lazy. He's not on line that much, he doesn't email much, it's hard to get a steady rhythm going.

During the first chat with Linda (the new, more naive one) and I had my wife log on the other computer as Jane get on using the other computer as Jane (the tough one) and keep paging him, we had a pretty good time doing that. He ignored Jane and kept chatting with Linda.

A day or 2 later, I was on as Linda and he paged me, so I chatted for a few minutes. Then a few minutes after I got off, I signed on as Jane and paged him, I asked him why he didn't answer my pages the other day. He said he didn't get them!

He says he doesn't want to join an existing organization but won't tell me why, he says he wants to start his own, but has no clue what he wants to do. I told him to come up with a plan and let me know, and also write it up in a way that I can use to solicit grants from foundations, he said he would do it. This guy's big on promises, not so much on performance.

He emailed me about getting the space and needing the $4000, my wife told me to ask for pictures of the space, so I did that. So far nothing.

MAD's idea about selling the bronze sculptures to raise money is a good one, if I can just get him to display a little more energy.
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OldBaglady
Elite Baiter


Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 1977


PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 4:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've got a couple of slow, lazy lads. Both I've been baiting for many months, one nearly a year. IMO, it's easier to turn the tables back on their scammy asses that way. Both my lads now appear to have become caught in their own traps. They exhibit all the signs of having fallen completely in love with their once intended victim and are hoping to marry (for immigration purposes) and move to America, the land of what they perceive is riches and opportunity. My characters have never phoned them, never sent a penny of what they once asked for, has only sent them two (very old) photographs of herself and only spent about $5 each on Valentine's Day cards.

It does take a lot of time and effort to chat and email these guys and sometimes I get a twinge of pained conscience thinking how deeply disappointed these guys are going to be when their hopes and dreams crumble. But I do remember their initial dishonorable intentions and also remind myself of all the other women who haven't even been approached by these guys, let alone scammed by them.

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Ari
Elite Baiter


Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 1269


PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 3:52 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Right. My bad. Embarassed
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Newdonym
Elite Baiter


Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Posts: 1043


PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 4:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

It was the rabid goat that tipped it for me. Smile

Yeah go for a bronze goat. That would be sweet. You could get an army and take on Froz's AT-AT squadron. Or get a bronze petting zoo.
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Ari
Elite Baiter


Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 1269


PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 9:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, I thought the rabid goat thing was weird too. I've heard some pretty far out there stories though. Smile
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Trawler
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 16 Feb 2006
Posts: 72


PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

No response of any kind for days, I had Jane write him earlier today asking again for a picture of the space, and also bringing up the idea of selling the artwork, saying I had contacts who would prepay for orders. I'm definitely doing to bring up the goat sculpture idea if I ever get him going. We could put it by the entrance to the office, as a tribute to my late husband.

I'll have Linda write him later just asking where he is and saying how much she misses him, to see if that wakes him up.
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