Author |
Message |
Jen Derbender
flabbergasted
Joined: 16 Mar 2004
Posts: 389
Location: Running left!
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Posted:
Tue May 27, 2008 5:22 am |
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Just so everyone doesn't think I've been sitting on my hands, I've been working on implementing a proper customer service call centre. It is designed as a generic call centre, with features to support all kinds of baits.
I've discovered that, in order to do this properly, it takes a ludicrous amount of work. Think about it for a second: each menu can have up to 11 options (0-9 plus pound; star takes you to the previous menu). So if you have five or six levels, the complexity quickly becomes unmanageable (11^6=yikes). This is where I am right now.
However, as long as you put the work in on the menu items that are most likely to be chosen, in this case 'Complaints' and 'Money Transfer help', then you can get somewhere. This is what I've done. In some cases, I'm six levels deep.
I've only had the time to make one online hold message, as I don't want to re-use the WU and MG hold messages I already made. But this one is pretty special... it's at the end of each menu trail, and it's over two hours long. I'm working on another one at the moment, and if you're lucky I just might have it ready before the night is out.
The number, for now, is (206) 905-9742. For the technically-minded, it is PrettyMay Call Centre running on a single instance of Skype on my main machine. I do plan on getting an old used box to run a couple of background apps, and this will eventually go on it. When that happens, I'll be able to implement up to three lines.
I want to caution you all that this is not yet ready for mugu deployment - after all, I still use this computer for lad conference calls and so on, and I'm having too much fun with that at the moment. But I don't object to baiters calling it to check it out. Remember, though, that I only have one line, so if someone else has beaten you to the punch, you'll get the default Skype voicemail prompt. The basic software is expensive enough (I just might come begging later ); I am not ready to shell out hundreds more dollars to implement ten or more lines.
It's intended to be generically useful for baiters, so it will remain a work in progress, at least until I get totally bored with it.
EDIT: Just so you have an idea of how complicated this is, click here to see a screenshot of the PrettyMay call flow design screen:
http://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn319/jen_derbender_bucket/PrettyMayscreenshot.jpg |
_________________ FUCK? FUCK AND FUCK YOU. YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT OKEY, ARE YOU ARE OFF BACK TO SENDER... YOUR ARE A BIG RAT OKEY FUCK YOUR SELF UP AND WHOM EVER THAT SUPPORT YOU, FOOL FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH NO SPAM, RAT. - Kaosiso Chukwu
"Folken sheet like you.Beach,your mother and your house maid are folken themselves... Folk your folks... you comes when you are been fingered which makes you an idiot of sex luncering.You will never understand that english because it is not made for people like you." - Insane Idiot
Does your lad have too much time and phone credits on his hands? Have him call the Integrated Customer Service Call Centre at +1 206 905 9742! Dissatisfaction guaranteed!
x2 x2 x? |
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scambuster3
Elite Baiter
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 1099
Location: South East tip of Australia Down under, where a Dingo ate my Lads WU slip
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 7:12 am |
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WOW jen this generic call centre works very goodly
the menus work to
should drive the lads nuts |
_________________ When it comes to scammers I bait with 1080, shoot from the hip and aim for between the eyes
Bank accounts sent to mysterious Alan = 477
Winner of Inspector Gadget 2009 fake checks contest, thanks IG
Winner of Inspector Gadget 2008 Bank account contest, thanks IG
"You are going to scam your passport page "
"CENTRAL BANK OF NIGER1A has scanned this email for viruses, vandals and malicious content."
"The Central Bank of Nigerian will put you in jail for life. You must return that money or you will face a brutal consequences."
"I KNOW U ARE JUST A TIME WASTER AND A BULL SHITTER."
"Hope you are not a joker because I don't waste my time and job on jokers"
"Time wasters are not authorized to contact us"
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Jen Derbender
flabbergasted
Joined: 16 Mar 2004
Posts: 389
Location: Running left!
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 7:16 am |
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@scambuster3: sorry I dumped you out on your first call, I was in the middle of an audio dolla chop with a Ghanian lad and in my haste to end the call I ended up kicking you out... sorry
If you end up getting to the hold music (it's at the end of every trail), let me know if it's sufficiently irritating (one is a repeating sample of Achy Breaky Heart, the other one has William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy singing)... |
_________________ FUCK? FUCK AND FUCK YOU. YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT OKEY, ARE YOU ARE OFF BACK TO SENDER... YOUR ARE A BIG RAT OKEY FUCK YOUR SELF UP AND WHOM EVER THAT SUPPORT YOU, FOOL FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH NO SPAM, RAT. - Kaosiso Chukwu
"Folken sheet like you.Beach,your mother and your house maid are folken themselves... Folk your folks... you comes when you are been fingered which makes you an idiot of sex luncering.You will never understand that english because it is not made for people like you." - Insane Idiot
Does your lad have too much time and phone credits on his hands? Have him call the Integrated Customer Service Call Centre at +1 206 905 9742! Dissatisfaction guaranteed!
x2 x2 x? |
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scambuster3
Elite Baiter
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 1099
Location: South East tip of Australia Down under, where a Dingo ate my Lads WU slip
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 7:20 am |
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No worries Jen
this is your baby
I made another call and tried several options
but could not get past the "enter the 4 digit code"
so could not try out the music |
_________________ When it comes to scammers I bait with 1080, shoot from the hip and aim for between the eyes
Bank accounts sent to mysterious Alan = 477
Winner of Inspector Gadget 2009 fake checks contest, thanks IG
Winner of Inspector Gadget 2008 Bank account contest, thanks IG
"You are going to scam your passport page "
"CENTRAL BANK OF NIGER1A has scanned this email for viruses, vandals and malicious content."
"The Central Bank of Nigerian will put you in jail for life. You must return that money or you will face a brutal consequences."
"I KNOW U ARE JUST A TIME WASTER AND A BULL SHITTER."
"Hope you are not a joker because I don't waste my time and job on jokers"
"Time wasters are not authorized to contact us"
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FrumpyBB
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 5988
Location: Germany
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 8:12 am |
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Nice I have always dreamt of a call centre for lads who complain to me about WU and MG troubles (as if I was to blame LOL) |
_________________ SIR,I DON'T ENTERTAIN RIGMAROLE AND THERE IS NO ROOM FOR DILLY- DALLY.
the ball is in your cult
x 5 ARK & Co. incl. 1 safari w/ RS17 & NTBS
Dan the lotto man, ARK mugu wedding
Dennis the hitman, co-bait w/ Murry Guru
Zake (w/ SH, SL & Craig)
x 5 Modeling Mugu Meeting, w/ mewing_ghecko & Otterfan & SSC
x 2 another MMM w/ SH
x 13 Later shows and trips for the benefit of M00seknuckle, incl. the 0budu Fact Finding Mission
Come to our Eater University Baiting Tutorials Cos you deserve it. x5 x50+ x 4 -- |
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highnlow
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 09 Apr 2008
Posts: 18
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 12:49 pm |
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hehe I can just see those stinkbois in the cafe listening to that mind numbing on-hold music. Its great. |
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KnottyPine
419Eater is my life
Joined: 24 Dec 2007
Posts: 459
Location: So many Soludos, so little time
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 2:02 pm |
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@Jen Derbender said:
Quote: |
It is designed as a generic call centre |
Errr... Jen, don't you mean Jeneric? (Sorry, couldn't resist. ) |
_________________ x1087
you make me feel like crying
Why is it so difficult to receive money from you.I am having a hunch that you are delibrately making it difficult for me.I want you to remember all the problems you have put me through from your first bank transfer to the second one to our London account to this very western Union that you sent more than a week ago. You are putting me through all kind of stress just to receive money from you.
kindly please for God sake re-send it again in a proper way
you are making things so complicated for me...i can no longer condole all this stress you are making me pass through
Your are so honest i like the way you act.
you are playing games with me, but I still want to beleive in you because I have no much choices right now. |
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MrMe
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 593
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 2:25 pm |
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So is this generic one ready for MTCN S3cure integration or are you still testing it? |
_________________ <a href="?t=120541">GIT Form</a> - <a href="?t=130670">Send emails in the past</a> - <a href="?p=1002914">3-stern Union</a>
<a href="?t=125626">MTCN S3cur3</a> Endorsements:
I am almost having a bad sight as a result of click on the box
my eyes are paining me now cos i have been
looking at the computer for more than six hours
you cannot subject me to this suffering
i am sick and tired of this shit.
I don't go with this Idea at all, this is not how business is done
whenever i make mistake even at the peak of retrieving the numbers i would ask to go back to the begining and this has virtually consumed all my time by doing this
i cant stress my self any more..I now have a back pain cos of this
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voudoujoe
Mentor Slut
Joined: 07 Apr 2008
Posts: 376
Location: Atlantic Coast
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 10:23 pm |
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I sort of did a little unauthorized User Acceptance Testing. Here is the UAT report:
Quote: |
I have tried calling the customers line for over one hour now and at the end of the day/call i couldn't get to anybody. You know this is a customers service office you gave me this swiss board number to take all my credit i don't like it ...
I have wasted lots of credit making this call its getting me pissed of this is Uk, we spend so much pounds to make international calls. |
BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA!
(BTW - I have no idea what a Swiss Board Number is) |
_________________ "Listen this guys are scammer..i will fishe them out!!..scam!! run for your there life !!"
"God dam guys i don't know talk like they are me do there email look like mine? shit!! shit!!"
"i have no time to advise you on some fucker!! One love for all"
"i am pissed about all this..writing monkey mails everyday without no end, holy God."
"I am freaky worried about everything that is happening right now."
x4
Stanley: Aba>Lagos>Cotonou>Lagos>Accra "plz i am really dizzy"
Stanley w/ Jayhawk+Gadget: Aba>Lagos "STREET BOYS IN LAGOS ATTACKECD ME..STOLE EVERYTHING..INCLUDING MY GUICCY SHOE"
Stanley w/ Jayhawk+Gadget+Worf: Aba>Benin City
x? x6
32MBToolkit |
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Kent
Master Baiter
Joined: 02 Jun 2006
Posts: 238
Location: At your 6, with you in my gunsight
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Posted:
Wed May 28, 2008 11:11 pm |
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I really hope your +1 (206) 338 5934 is still active. Methinks you will soon get a rather irate lad bitching and moaning about the sheer incompetence and stupidity of a certain Josephine.
Edit to add:
About the music... Words defy me |
_________________ X3 Up the Congo without a Paddle. 2282 miles round trip as the crow flies Lagos to Kinshasa Congo http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=80344
Do you know that 2 of my men have been arrested? in Kinshasa today?
How do you want me to believe that you can be more Catholic than the Pope and more Islamic than the Sheik? -Cynthia Adams
OTU SUWAAKWAA NNE GI -Victor Moore. I like to think of it as a horrible death curse.
X14 |
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Jen Derbender
flabbergasted
Joined: 16 Mar 2004
Posts: 389
Location: Running left!
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Posted:
Thu May 29, 2008 9:17 am |
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@Kent: the other lines are all still active. Unfortunately I haven't received a voice mail on any of them in weeks.
@MrMe: I think the line is ready for deployment. Because of RL, I won't be able to implement voice mail for several days, so we won't have audio trophies. But mucho time will be wasted.
Is anyone interested in seeing the call tree, or the script for the prompts? |
_________________ FUCK? FUCK AND FUCK YOU. YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT OKEY, ARE YOU ARE OFF BACK TO SENDER... YOUR ARE A BIG RAT OKEY FUCK YOUR SELF UP AND WHOM EVER THAT SUPPORT YOU, FOOL FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH NO SPAM, RAT. - Kaosiso Chukwu
"Folken sheet like you.Beach,your mother and your house maid are folken themselves... Folk your folks... you comes when you are been fingered which makes you an idiot of sex luncering.You will never understand that english because it is not made for people like you." - Insane Idiot
Does your lad have too much time and phone credits on his hands? Have him call the Integrated Customer Service Call Centre at +1 206 905 9742! Dissatisfaction guaranteed!
x2 x2 x? |
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MrMe
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 593
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Posted:
Thu May 29, 2008 9:48 am |
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Cool, ok I have added the number to the contact page, the fake introductory emails from WU/MG that you forward on to the mugu, the alert when the mugu starts to get his MTCN and the autoresponder when the mugu sends a support email.
I would be interested in seeing both if its not too much effort. |
_________________ <a href="?t=120541">GIT Form</a> - <a href="?t=130670">Send emails in the past</a> - <a href="?p=1002914">3-stern Union</a>
<a href="?t=125626">MTCN S3cur3</a> Endorsements:
I am almost having a bad sight as a result of click on the box
my eyes are paining me now cos i have been
looking at the computer for more than six hours
you cannot subject me to this suffering
i am sick and tired of this shit.
I don't go with this Idea at all, this is not how business is done
whenever i make mistake even at the peak of retrieving the numbers i would ask to go back to the begining and this has virtually consumed all my time by doing this
i cant stress my self any more..I now have a back pain cos of this
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Jen Derbender
flabbergasted
Joined: 16 Mar 2004
Posts: 389
Location: Running left!
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Posted:
Thu May 29, 2008 2:47 pm |
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Not at all - once I'm home from work I'll post them. |
_________________ FUCK? FUCK AND FUCK YOU. YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT OKEY, ARE YOU ARE OFF BACK TO SENDER... YOUR ARE A BIG RAT OKEY FUCK YOUR SELF UP AND WHOM EVER THAT SUPPORT YOU, FOOL FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH NO SPAM, RAT. - Kaosiso Chukwu
"Folken sheet like you.Beach,your mother and your house maid are folken themselves... Folk your folks... you comes when you are been fingered which makes you an idiot of sex luncering.You will never understand that english because it is not made for people like you." - Insane Idiot
Does your lad have too much time and phone credits on his hands? Have him call the Integrated Customer Service Call Centre at +1 206 905 9742! Dissatisfaction guaranteed!
x2 x2 x? |
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BeaverBoy
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 1
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Posted:
Thu May 29, 2008 7:13 pm |
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OMG--I'm a newbie and the tuba/singing on the WU message reminds me of a school band/chorus concert of my 12-year old's we had to sit through last week. To top it off, I just bought some bagpipes off E-bay and thought about trying to learn to play for my "Scottish" heritage. Absolutely AWEFUL!! BRILLIANT!! |
_________________ Hello,
Its a pity that Mr John died just like that.
This transacton is not a child's play and as such should not be handled with kid gloves.
PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME THAT STORY OF YOURS, BECAUSE I AM NOT DUMP.--Barrister Dave Smith |
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DollaChoppa
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 30 May 2008
Posts: 10
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Posted:
Fri May 30, 2008 4:48 am |
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I registered just to make this suggestion:
I strongly recommend that you find music by the group "Melt Banana".
It's Japanese industrial music. A friend described it as sounding like "machinery grinding together while a woman yelps like a dog". |
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DollaChoppa
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 30 May 2008
Posts: 10
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Posted:
Fri May 30, 2008 4:50 pm |
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Jen Derbender
flabbergasted
Joined: 16 Mar 2004
Posts: 389
Location: Running left!
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Posted:
Sat May 31, 2008 3:30 am |
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@Dolla:
That is perfect. I went looking last night and I found some great stuff by this band, it will fit well in the call centre.
Here's the funny part: I quite like this band... |
_________________ FUCK? FUCK AND FUCK YOU. YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT OKEY, ARE YOU ARE OFF BACK TO SENDER... YOUR ARE A BIG RAT OKEY FUCK YOUR SELF UP AND WHOM EVER THAT SUPPORT YOU, FOOL FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH NO SPAM, RAT. - Kaosiso Chukwu
"Folken sheet like you.Beach,your mother and your house maid are folken themselves... Folk your folks... you comes when you are been fingered which makes you an idiot of sex luncering.You will never understand that english because it is not made for people like you." - Insane Idiot
Does your lad have too much time and phone credits on his hands? Have him call the Integrated Customer Service Call Centre at +1 206 905 9742! Dissatisfaction guaranteed!
x2 x2 x? |
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voudoujoe
Mentor Slut
Joined: 07 Apr 2008
Posts: 376
Location: Atlantic Coast
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Posted:
Sat May 31, 2008 4:50 am |
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scambuster3
Elite Baiter
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 1099
Location: South East tip of Australia Down under, where a Dingo ate my Lads WU slip
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Posted:
Sat May 31, 2008 8:32 am |
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Jen
I finaly got through and in the que listening to my breaking heart
Just an idea
seeing this is a "general" help service
could one of the options be a section on "helping with faulty scans" ?
You know the lads are aways asking for scans of our passports etc
and of course we send them crap.
Well how about we help them out, and send them to the SCAN help section ?
Options like
"are you having trouble opening a scan press 1"
"is your scan blurred press 2"
" is your scan out of focus press 3"
"do you get an error message press 4"
"how to upgrade your software press 5" |
_________________ When it comes to scammers I bait with 1080, shoot from the hip and aim for between the eyes
Bank accounts sent to mysterious Alan = 477
Winner of Inspector Gadget 2009 fake checks contest, thanks IG
Winner of Inspector Gadget 2008 Bank account contest, thanks IG
"You are going to scam your passport page "
"CENTRAL BANK OF NIGER1A has scanned this email for viruses, vandals and malicious content."
"The Central Bank of Nigerian will put you in jail for life. You must return that money or you will face a brutal consequences."
"I KNOW U ARE JUST A TIME WASTER AND A BULL SHITTER."
"Hope you are not a joker because I don't waste my time and job on jokers"
"Time wasters are not authorized to contact us"
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DollaChoppa
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 30 May 2008
Posts: 10
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Posted:
Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:06 am |
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Jen Derbender wrote: |
@Dolla:
Here's the funny part: I quite like this band... |
I'm actually very fond of them myself! That's why I recommended them. I can imagine our mugu lad pals having some fun... |
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Captain Pike
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 2579
Location: Starbase 11
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Posted:
Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:57 pm |
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Jen,
A heads up. I have a lad who is having trouble with the WU information that I sent him.
I'm going to ask him to call customer service agent B@rry K3lly at the WU number.
You are free to post his voicemail......if he leaves one. |
_________________ x13 x5 (393 days)
"On the 21st of April 2001, my client? His wife and their three children were involved in a plane crash of Union Transport Africans Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin Republic on the December 26,2003" Barrister Olorunshogo Williams, 25 October 2004.
"I am in reciept of your mail,i want you to know that you are really getting on my nerves." Burt Hardley, Wellkang International, 20 November 2007
"Please worry, we have already advice the FBI and they don't need to call you. They are very brianliant and intelident. They will get you soon. " Mr. Paul Rogers, Global Medical Equipment, 20 November 2007
As of 26 February 2009, $2,231,983.53 of fake checks and money orders have been intercepted and removed from circulation. |
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Jen Derbender
flabbergasted
Joined: 16 Mar 2004
Posts: 389
Location: Running left!
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Posted:
Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:49 pm |
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@Barry:
I'd be happy to. I think those numbers are getting lonely, because no lad has left a message there in a couple of weeks.
But thanks to everyone for shopping the call centre around. It's getting a LOT of calls I'll try to implement voicemail soon, and then I may have some more to post. |
_________________ FUCK? FUCK AND FUCK YOU. YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT OKEY, ARE YOU ARE OFF BACK TO SENDER... YOUR ARE A BIG RAT OKEY FUCK YOUR SELF UP AND WHOM EVER THAT SUPPORT YOU, FOOL FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH NO SPAM, RAT. - Kaosiso Chukwu
"Folken sheet like you.Beach,your mother and your house maid are folken themselves... Folk your folks... you comes when you are been fingered which makes you an idiot of sex luncering.You will never understand that english because it is not made for people like you." - Insane Idiot
Does your lad have too much time and phone credits on his hands? Have him call the Integrated Customer Service Call Centre at +1 206 905 9742! Dissatisfaction guaranteed!
x2 x2 x? |
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Captain Pike
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 2579
Location: Starbase 11
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Posted:
Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:40 pm |
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^^^^ He's not the quickest. His emails are sometimes two or three days apart. I can't help but wonder if he has a real day job.
I have other baits going, but so far I've kept them from reaching the WU stage. |
_________________ x13 x5 (393 days)
"On the 21st of April 2001, my client? His wife and their three children were involved in a plane crash of Union Transport Africans Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin Republic on the December 26,2003" Barrister Olorunshogo Williams, 25 October 2004.
"I am in reciept of your mail,i want you to know that you are really getting on my nerves." Burt Hardley, Wellkang International, 20 November 2007
"Please worry, we have already advice the FBI and they don't need to call you. They are very brianliant and intelident. They will get you soon. " Mr. Paul Rogers, Global Medical Equipment, 20 November 2007
As of 26 February 2009, $2,231,983.53 of fake checks and money orders have been intercepted and removed from circulation. |
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Captain Pike
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 2579
Location: Starbase 11
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Posted:
Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:34 pm |
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I don't think he held on long enough.....
Quote: |
dear (baiter).
I tried calling the customer service but could not get through.
Kindly withdraw the money and resend it again.
You are delaying the customer that made this payment to get his goods deleverd because his goods will not be delieverd except we receive his payment.
kindly resend it again and make the MTCn available for easy collection.
help us and and try to understand.
You can aswell send it in tow different places,
waiting for your positive reponce.
Regards
chad kr3ps |
Maybe I should try MoneyGram? |
_________________ x13 x5 (393 days)
"On the 21st of April 2001, my client? His wife and their three children were involved in a plane crash of Union Transport Africans Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin Republic on the December 26,2003" Barrister Olorunshogo Williams, 25 October 2004.
"I am in reciept of your mail,i want you to know that you are really getting on my nerves." Burt Hardley, Wellkang International, 20 November 2007
"Please worry, we have already advice the FBI and they don't need to call you. They are very brianliant and intelident. They will get you soon. " Mr. Paul Rogers, Global Medical Equipment, 20 November 2007
As of 26 February 2009, $2,231,983.53 of fake checks and money orders have been intercepted and removed from circulation. |
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Captain Pike
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 2579
Location: Starbase 11
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Posted:
Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:16 am |
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OK, I'm trying out a new modality.
I'm ASEMing some lads to notify them of a WU payment in the amount of $500, and I'm signing these as Barry Kelly, Western Union Agent 6503 with the phone number.
I'd hate to see these K7's deactivated due to lack of phone calls. |
_________________ x13 x5 (393 days)
"On the 21st of April 2001, my client? His wife and their three children were involved in a plane crash of Union Transport Africans Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin Republic on the December 26,2003" Barrister Olorunshogo Williams, 25 October 2004.
"I am in reciept of your mail,i want you to know that you are really getting on my nerves." Burt Hardley, Wellkang International, 20 November 2007
"Please worry, we have already advice the FBI and they don't need to call you. They are very brianliant and intelident. They will get you soon. " Mr. Paul Rogers, Global Medical Equipment, 20 November 2007
As of 26 February 2009, $2,231,983.53 of fake checks and money orders have been intercepted and removed from circulation. |
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