New lad modality: The Nightcap, very effective

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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:29 pm

Brian White wrote me a book after I asked him to provide more information (can't remember his opening mail).. I dozed off after 2 paragraphs .. Be warned ! Laughing

Quote:

Dear Friend,

If my proposal did not elicit that sort of reaction then I would have wondered at the depth of your understanding of what I propose. I have taken time out to think this out and I hope the mode and manner of contact doesn't depreciate the essence of that I strive to tell you. The modus operandi of this communication is more out of urgency of the matter due and the slim window of opportunity we have to get this off the ground. That apart, I have been under the weather and only getting stronger by the day.e not learn any thing in life, learn this, keep your friend out of your business. It may ruin your friendship.

I will state the very crucial issues here, as I have to leave to attend to a pending personal matter. Hopefully with a step in the right direction today lets see what we can achieve. What I now recount to you, I have told you mostly already, but I restate here again for the avoidance of doubt or confusion.

In everything one does with another: there must be a meeting of minds. In Latin, its called "consensus ad idem": a meeting of minds. With out us both seeing and assessing the situation through the same point of view there cannot and will never be success or progress. So please leave your mind and your heart upon to assess our operations with a brave and transparent heart.

I will be the "primus inter pares"; this again is Latin meaning first amongst equals. I need for you to follow basic instructions and work as partners. You must let me direct this project for us to have success. It is when there is no leadership and no meeting of minds that there are problems. Remember this always. I do not seek to lead you into anything you did not bargain for, but I must be able to dictate the pace because of my expertise in this field as well as having the know how to unravel this project.

My first concern is security, getting this project behind us with no backlash. Nothing good comes easy but planning and strategy, integration and efficient know how will help more than a little. The file relating to this case is under my care not only in my capacity as Financial Director but also as a departmental head. The details of this project are known only to the offshore banking department of ACCBank. The administrative department of the bank is also aware of this only if I communicate with them officially about the matter, their role in this is only to manage instructions that my department executes, and they have little or no power to vet or investigate. Once I authorize, they employ and close the matter. All our clients and their status are updated on a fortnightly basis. Every few days, the admin department asks me for a status report on the activities of the cases under my care. I am not obliged to give detailed reports but I must give them basic information. I have filed in a report signaling that Waseem,�s next of kin has been identified and the title passed on. I have thus closed the file. Thus, I and I only is in the know as to what is going on with Waseem�s file. The risk element is thus minimal. This is guaranteed. The admin department has assured me that within 3 business days, they would have filed my submissions and declared the file closed/resolved.

You must understand what we stand before, we are about to make a lot of money for ourselves and for every time one makes significant progress in life there is a price to pay, I told you nothing goes for free and this project is not a deviation from that natural law. There are do's and dont's you must understand. There are certain underlying factors you must appreciate.

Your status is that of successor in title to the late Waseem. Pure and simple. What are the details? I have ensured due to the allowances of private banking that there is as little documentation about this project as possible. The manner the Late Waseem filled in his data sheet helps us in no small way; there is little or no background for us to confirm to. We do not have the need to make any submissions to prove, as Waseem left no points to be proven!! I do not think having documents flying around is the best way to get from start to finish, so in that regards; we are very lucky! Things are best done this way. No paper work between you and ACCBank, just instructions between Imperial Assets Managers Company, Brussels Belgium and ACCBank. Now lets talk of Imperial Assets Managers Company, Brussels Belgium ; they are a private firm, they are affiliated with top European banks, sensitive firms and multi-nationals. They are private and exclusive. They are the only company that has the legitimacy to have assisted with this sort of project. They are a security deposit accepting firm working only on instructions from officials like myself. They accept no private deposits and all deposits are made on behalf of private citizens. They rarely accept deposits from private individuals except under special circumstances.(Note that ACCBank is under going restructuring, so we better get going). They do not know of you and I would prefer it that way. They know simply what ACCBank tells them. Imperial Assets Managers Company, Brussels Belgium are experts who transact annually with hundreds of millions of dollars on behalf of top European financial institutions; I tell you this in strictest of confidence for their status is one of the complex intricacies of the modern international banking world.

Due to the dire sensitivity of the portfolio, I have the desire to keep this confidential? I repeat myself in uncertain and unequivocal terms: this is a private and confidential arrangement. The success of this project is contingent upon you knowing your place and knowing your limitations. I have worked in the banking world for many years and many consider me a guru in my field. I get where I am today by being smart and hardworking, but most importantly by being disciplined. Private banking is a closed and restricted world, what we have done is known to nobody and cannot be. The only authority which has access to any knowledge of what we have done is not even aware of any detail other than that the deposit has passed to the next of kin. That�s all. I ask you to respect my efforts, If you begin to follow their activities you will attract little attention to this matter. Private banking is what the name reflects: privacy. The bank respects the privacy of its high net worth clients and would not ask any questions or intrude in what is considered a private matter unless given a reason to do so, this is private banking, there is no trace or detail of this transaction. It is best that way; I am giving verbal instructions to effect the realization of this project. Accept it and respect it. I have come too far in life to jeopardize my status as a result of a break in communication or a failure of my associate to understand me explicitly. I repeat for the avoidance of doubt; I plan to see this project through and go into private business by establishing my own investment firm. I have been in the banking sector for years but all I really have is a name, no money to undertake anything tangible. I do not seek to justify myself for I am at peace with myself. All the same, I inform you that with my share of the money, I intend on opening an investment and financial consultancy firm. I have many friends who have money to invest but for me to be the captain of the firm, I must invest some money of my own. That�s why this project is important to me. It�s my key to the next stage of my life.

I can summarize by saying I will give instructions with your details to ACCBank admin upon receipt. Admin will act upon it and initiate paper work for payment processes. You will then hold on to my share of the money until such a time as I have use for it. That is it for now. Destiny has fostered us together in this dance: the music is sweet but the dance will only be sweet too if you take steps along with me; do as I instruct.

I have taken a leap of faith in proceeding the way I have with you. I should first have met with you to gauge your seriousness and see if you are trustworthy, but one thing I have learned from the wealthy offshore banking clients I manage is that nothing in life comes easy and nothing ventured; nothing gained. Know that I promise you from the bottom of my heart that all is well and will end well. Please rest assured of that. We should be through with this project within the shortest possible time frame hopefully within the next 14 business days.

My situation is eating into me too, there is a lot of stress and weight on my family at this point, know that we both need a new chance to provide new opportunities for ourselves. I have a family I love very much and we must seize this opportunity to better both our lives. We must take this situation seriously, great opportunities never come twice.

I will need for you to confirm the following details:

(1) Your full and precise name which the will be project transacted in, this name will be used through out the duration of the project. I do not ask for an alias but rather, the correct spellings of the name, which also includes your middle name. (2)Your address where you receive you mails in case you are to be posted documents.(3) Your precise confidential telephone and fax number (4) your date of birth.(5) Your occupation .Mail these 5 details to me to me ASAP so I can get to work.

Regards
Brian.

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:47 pm

Ask him for his take on a unified field theory....

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:56 pm

Nice idea. I might learn something .. Laughing

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 12:21 am

hooonk, fooooo, hoooonk, fpchphsbc. sorry, dozed off. This lad is well into his writing, i reckon if you get him off script he could spend days at a time composing his mails and completely tie himself up.

just say "sorry, could you explain that" when he replies.

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 4:15 am

Just for fun
ask him to explain in fine detail each step again

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 4:45 am

Just to be irritating I'll fire that off at a few Lads Very Happy

just to test their attention span.

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:32 am

Ohmy!!!... I had stuff to do lately and just poked around The infamous Eater site and found this delightful post... I guess I'll take a book to bed tonight... not! LOL

This lad's book should be displayed, in a leather binder, made of rabbit skins, of course, or preferably, more valuable gray, bandihoot, rat pelts.

Tanned and PHOTOGRAPHED... at every step of the process, as publishers are very fussy for details and documentation.

Maybe your lad will shoot some other mugus while hunting pests, eh?

Of course, the calling is for ALVIN, the ultimate! Al is only locatable by a GPS system, which is dedicated to John Deere, and by virtue of delineating a tractor assembly manual.

hehee Twisted Evil

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 2:09 pm

z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-zqfc mif,4]w5mumuhtrsjs/;asdVNOYTH;a

Send him that!^^^^ Laughing

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 4:19 pm

^^ I took fryer's idea to answer him .. If he replies with another voluminous saga I think my next mail will be will be 'Ok. ZZZzzzzzzzzzqfc mif,4]w5mumuhtrsjs/;asdVNOYTH;a
ZZZzzzzzzzz'

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:33 pm

The lazy mugu has has done a cut and paste job from here

Time for a big slap and give him detention so he can do his homework properly without cheating.

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:44 pm

Ow, Yikes ! Good catch ! .. Hope he can also do some research on the unified field theory then .. I'm feeling some decent slaps coming up .... Laughing

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 12:05 am

@Tigbitties - great spotting!

Of course, now that you know it IS a cut and paste job, maybe the reply should be 90% in latin. He seems to be really fond of the language after all.

Now, I'd love to be able to help, but.......

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 12:22 am

@ DB. I would just answer that pretentious piece of sh*t with a short reply but peppered with latin quotes until he has them coming out of his wazoo.

For example: Abutebaris modo subjunctivo denuo - You've been misusing the subjunctive again.

or one of my favorites;

Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare - Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you.

Especially since he's cut and paste the whole bloody body of his letter to you, he'll have to waste time just trying to figure out what you're saying,

Here's the link:

http://www.yuni.com/library/latin.html

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 12:32 am

Quote:

I am not obliged to give detailed reports but I must give them basic information.

Wot? Like this? Laughing

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