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 3 TWAT quotes:

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Professor So And So
Elite Baiter


Joined: 16 Dec 2007
Posts: 1337
Location: Hash Conditions


PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 7:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

These quotes were all from e-mails over the last couple days. I hope there will be a lot more to say about him later, but I just think they're too funny not to share in the meantime:

Quote:
I really apprecite speaking with the head of Twat Rev Williams, it shows the church has intrest in me and also having the mind of having a TWAT raise up in Nigeria.


Quote:
Hopefully by the specail grace of God by next week , we shall commence immedaite arrangement, please my dear brother, i have left my job just because of becoming a member, to enable me focus my attention in making Twat grow in Nigeria.


Quote:
My great regards goes to Head Rev Williams do extend my greetings to him,do bear in mind i am not teaching again in the private school, really wants to devote time for TWAT, so will always depend on TWAT to keep body and soul together, hope you understand want i mean.


Laughing Laughing

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
Safari - William - Accra, Ghana - Maiduguri, Nigeria
Safari - Miracle - Benin - N'Djamena, Chad - "Too much mosquitoes"
Safari - Godspower - Ghana - N'Djamena, Chad
Golden Pith - Adamu - Lagos, Nigeria - Abeche, Chad (100 days in hell) - Shocked - "SAVE ME"
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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Prof - I see your efforts of instilling proper dedication to TWAT have been most fruitful. Keep up the great work you are doing for the church. Laughing

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harrya
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Joined: 23 Jul 2006
Posts: 1489
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
i have left my job just because of becoming a member


So he is no longer sitting on his fat ass in an internet cafe Thumbs up

Very Happy

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Professor So And So
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Joined: 16 Dec 2007
Posts: 1337
Location: Hash Conditions


PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I see your efforts of instilling proper dedication to TWAT have been most fruitful.


Actually, jojo has done the lion's share of baiting on this guy so far. I was just going through the TWAT church box and felt like you people might laugh like I did.

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
Safari - William - Accra, Ghana - Maiduguri, Nigeria
Safari - Miracle - Benin - N'Djamena, Chad - "Too much mosquitoes"
Safari - Godspower - Ghana - N'Djamena, Chad
Golden Pith - Adamu - Lagos, Nigeria - Abeche, Chad (100 days in hell) - Shocked - "SAVE ME"
pony pony Pretty Rose Suitcase Mortar 17

Last edited by Professor So And So on Sun Apr 27, 2008 2:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Kryall
Master Baiter


Joined: 22 Dec 2005
Posts: 211


PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Out of curiosity, how many lad addresses are you mailing the TWAT proposal out to at a time? How many responses do you get back from all those? And how many of those mugus who respond go onto the next step (ie. filling in the TWAT form and returning it back to you)?

It seems like most lazy ass lads don't write back after seeing the form!

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Professor So And So
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Posts: 1337
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 2:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ I think it was 500 lads a day at the ASEM stage. If you'd like to know the finer points of organization and more detailed info about percentages, that is available. I think out of the thousands of e-mails that went out last round, we had the safari to Abeche that is ongoing, and have this guy who is moving through the process nicely. Outside of them, we have maybe 5-6 form submissions, and a couple lads that seemed like they might actually be worthwhile fell off the map. We currently maybe have 5 that are active (outside of the safari guys) in that TWAT acct. PM if you'd like more info.

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
Safari - William - Accra, Ghana - Maiduguri, Nigeria
Safari - Miracle - Benin - N'Djamena, Chad - "Too much mosquitoes"
Safari - Godspower - Ghana - N'Djamena, Chad
Golden Pith - Adamu - Lagos, Nigeria - Abeche, Chad (100 days in hell) - Shocked - "SAVE ME"
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JMRazor
Baiting Guru


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 4:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A good TWAT is hard to find....

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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 5:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Professor wrote:
500 lads a day at the ASEM stage.


That just goes to show how rare a bait like the 'wicked safari' really is. Jojo, YW and the Professor make it look so easy, but they put a ton of hard work into it. We all strive to do epic baits but it takes a lot of patience and effort, as well as a lot of cleverness, to pull off a really classic bait.

So for all the n00bs out there, don't be discouraged if your baits aren't all 1,600 mile safaris! Very Happy

And kudos once again to the Abeche team, it was worth the thousands of ASEMs to find those lads!

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"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

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Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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YeaWhatever
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Joined: 24 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 5:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And after you send out 500+ ASEMs, you will get several dozen replies that all need to be handled. Fortunately, we have a series of scripts that we follow in order that makes everything quite easy. After the first 2 pyramid building TWATs that Big Worm and I messed with, we refined the scripts to a point where TWAT nearly runs itself. But it took a lot of trial and error to perfect those scripts. Big Worm, even though he is rarely around anymore, deserves a lot of the credit for the success of TWAT as well as credit for the Abeche safari.

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Safari<i>"I just want to know why."</i> - Koffi Kuku - The Road to Chad/Darfur
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Safari<i>"i have arrive safe in namibia"</i> - Tony Kalabi - The Road to the Skeleton Coast
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jojobean
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Joined: 01 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Professor So And So wrote:
I think out of the thousands of e-mails that went out last round, we had the safari to Abeche that is ongoing, and have this guy who is moving through the process nicely.


Just to clarify, the Chad TWAT was not from the ASEM group we sent out. Baiter freddyfudpucker worked on him and gave him over to us.

I probably sent out around 3,000 emails. Of those emails, we probably got 50 responses. Of those, many were their scripts. Maybe 25 of those act interested. Most of those want money up front. So, out of all of those emails, we have 4 that filled out the forms (not including Adamu, because freddy got the forms filled out before passing him to us). Two are in the process of building pyramids. One disappeared off the map after I told him about the pyramids. The other filled out the forms but I don't think he is a lad, so he has been dropped.

Juan makes a good point. We rarely post about how many people send us curses back after our ASEMs. There is a LOT of work that goes on here. And as I said, freddy did a lot of the legwork up front. You really have to sift through the crap. These safaris don't just turn up over night.

_________________
Golden Pith Globe T.W.A.T Jack Boot
Christ Safari Ghana-Chad
Miracle Safari Benin-Chad
Omar Safari Edo-Abeche T.W.A.T
Adamu Safari Lagos-Abeche
Emi Safari- S Africa-Egypt-Sudan 10k miles
Chris Safari Jolly Roger Dakar-Niger-BF-Cameroon-Lagos-Mali-Nairobi 9.6k miles

Kevin Pith Helmet 10 Safari Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 Suitcase 5k miles Tattoo x 6
Kenny Safari Safari Safari 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
Goat
Ben Safari Safari Safari 2.5k miles

Misc Pith Helmet 20 Pith Helmet 5 Pith Helmet 5 Safari Safari Germany-Holland, Atlanta, Beijing-ChangZhou, London-Glasgow, TIMBUKTU x 2
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jojobean
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Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This was just another little nugget from the same lad:

Quote:
Attn: Rev Benjamin Dover,
Thanks for your mail, we ae comencing all arrangement by wednesday as i told you this week, and we hope to finish up once we commence on the project.
Only thing is that we are out of cash but sure of starting on wednesday as i said.
I hope TWAT is ready to fulfill the promise on funding TWAT down here as they promise to do to enable us commence the spreading of the TWAT telling people what Twat has do for his people.
Hope to hear from you.
Regards,

_________________
Golden Pith Globe T.W.A.T Jack Boot
Christ Safari Ghana-Chad
Miracle Safari Benin-Chad
Omar Safari Edo-Abeche T.W.A.T
Adamu Safari Lagos-Abeche
Emi Safari- S Africa-Egypt-Sudan 10k miles
Chris Safari Jolly Roger Dakar-Niger-BF-Cameroon-Lagos-Mali-Nairobi 9.6k miles

Kevin Pith Helmet 10 Safari Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 Suitcase 5k miles Tattoo x 6
Kenny Safari Safari Safari 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
Goat
Ben Safari Safari Safari 2.5k miles

Misc Pith Helmet 20 Pith Helmet 5 Pith Helmet 5 Safari Safari Germany-Holland, Atlanta, Beijing-ChangZhou, London-Glasgow, TIMBUKTU x 2
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Professor So And So
Elite Baiter


Joined: 16 Dec 2007
Posts: 1337
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Baiter freddyfudpucker worked on him and gave him over to us.


Sorry, I keep forgetting that. With all of these TWATS, it's hard to keep track of who had which first. This TWAT was certainly nice and warmed up when he came our way, and freddy deserves a lot of credit for that. So many TWATs, so little time.

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
Safari - William - Accra, Ghana - Maiduguri, Nigeria
Safari - Miracle - Benin - N'Djamena, Chad - "Too much mosquitoes"
Safari - Godspower - Ghana - N'Djamena, Chad
Golden Pith - Adamu - Lagos, Nigeria - Abeche, Chad (100 days in hell) - Shocked - "SAVE ME"
pony pony Pretty Rose Suitcase Mortar 17
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Ophelia Dikki
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 740
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey, just a suggestion, isn't it time to develop some TWAT hymns? There's bound to be some poetic/songwriting genius on this board who would be able to create some appropriate lyrics to be set to existing hymn music.

I'm sure that some of the lads would be up for performing them. It could be another way of showing their devotion. To assist their missionary work they could walk through the streets singing these hymns (a bit like the Hare Krishnas do).
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MattNW
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Joined: 21 Nov 2005
Posts: 264


PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

harrya wrote:
So he is no longer sitting on his fat ass in an internet cafe


No, he's sitting on his not-so-fat penniless ass on a street corner in Chad with someone he owes $1,000 to breathing down the back of his neck. He's so screwed. Laughing

_________________
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Also we found out that some of the officials of the prostates may have been extorting a lot of money from you with the pretext of helping you receive your money.

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Professor So And So
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Posts: 1337
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ This is a different lad than stinky. At this point, he can only aspire to one day exist in such an absolute disastrous set of circumstances.

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
Safari - William - Accra, Ghana - Maiduguri, Nigeria
Safari - Miracle - Benin - N'Djamena, Chad - "Too much mosquitoes"
Safari - Godspower - Ghana - N'Djamena, Chad
Golden Pith - Adamu - Lagos, Nigeria - Abeche, Chad (100 days in hell) - Shocked - "SAVE ME"
pony pony Pretty Rose Suitcase Mortar 17
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Buck Turgidson
419Eater is my life


Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 490
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

With YWs permission, I too had the chance of spreading TWAT Laughing & managed to get one of my Morris lads to fill out the forms, but the lazy twat wouldn't build a pyramid Evil or Very Mad

Anyhow-

Quote:
Pls fell free to send me all the necessary book which is going to help learn about TWAT quickly.

_________________
I DONT KNOW YOU AND CAN NOT ERMEBER HAVING ANY BUSINESS WITH YOU SO FUCK OHFF. - Allen George

DOCTOR SAID I SHOULD BRING SOME MONEY SO THAT HE CAN WASH HER WOMB VERY WELL- Rev Joe

I believe that this was done by some imposters or herkers who manipulate mails through the internet. Rev Joe

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jojobean
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Posts: 7586
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hahahaha! They never want to build a pyramid for some reason. That's just standard procedure for American churches.

_________________
Golden Pith Globe T.W.A.T Jack Boot
Christ Safari Ghana-Chad
Miracle Safari Benin-Chad
Omar Safari Edo-Abeche T.W.A.T
Adamu Safari Lagos-Abeche
Emi Safari- S Africa-Egypt-Sudan 10k miles
Chris Safari Jolly Roger Dakar-Niger-BF-Cameroon-Lagos-Mali-Nairobi 9.6k miles

Kevin Pith Helmet 10 Safari Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 Suitcase 5k miles Tattoo x 6
Kenny Safari Safari Safari 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
Goat
Ben Safari Safari Safari 2.5k miles

Misc Pith Helmet 20 Pith Helmet 5 Pith Helmet 5 Safari Safari Germany-Holland, Atlanta, Beijing-ChangZhou, London-Glasgow, TIMBUKTU x 2
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