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 Stupid/Funny or RANDOM Link/Joke of the Day

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Trixi
Master Baiter


Joined: 09 Apr 2008
Posts: 173
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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 4:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The C-Monkey
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Redmond, WA and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".

The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5000".

The customer pays and walks out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says "That was a very expensive monkey - most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"

"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist looks at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000 dollars! What does it do?"

"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."

The tourist looks around for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage of its own; The price tag around its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

"Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a contractor."

Laughing
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Corona
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Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8584
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PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 2:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Kissing test

http://office-humour.co.uk/item/7611/

Laughing Laughing Laughing

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smartbomb
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PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Boop !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0SGKcTMaoY

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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way


Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America


PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Now you know who's behind it all:

http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20080429.html

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jojobean
Obese Drooling Idiot


Joined: 01 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2008 6:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

http://www.tripadvisor.com/TIQGame?nl=MU&pid=646

Interesting how much baiting has helped my geography.

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Rorschach
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Joined: 31 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 2:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Read the headline - shocking use of the license fee Laughing

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7390109.stm

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Big Dog
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Joined: 05 May 2008
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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ Laughing Laughing

What a true statement....
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Agi Hammerthief
Infidel


Joined: 12 Mar 2006
Posts: 667
Location: .de


PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2008 4:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

not safe for keyboard, work or kids Wink

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remmy223
Elite Baiter


Joined: 12 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 8:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

cool game for passing your time

http://www.break.com/index/maze15.html

Razz

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wokabo
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 23 Sep 2004
Posts: 825
Location: best beer country in onomatopoeia world


PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 9:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ again? It must be the gazzillionth time a link to this game has been posted.



You win a trip to Nigeria. One way. On foot.

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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way


Joined: 02 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 10:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Why was this thread unstickified?

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FEMALE

"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali

"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack

"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith

"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se

Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> pony
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sheboppe
The Sparkly Member


Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 5002
Location: United States


PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 3:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Because someone complained that the forums had too many stickies and announcements and were difficult to navigate. We decided to do a little bit of housecleaning. If this thread is posted in continually, it will stay on the front page of GC. Very Happy

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Gold Hat
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Joined: 18 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 1:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

sheboppe wrote:
We decided to do a little bit of housecleaning.


Darling - you are beginning to remind me a lot of my wife - she will rearrange things for no other reason than rearranging things.

Now I love my wife dearly but there are times when it becomes just a tad bit too much.

Please stickify this and the other one.

Tell the person who complained to post in both threads Twisted Evil
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Rorschach
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 Jan 2005
Posts: 266
Location: Behind you


PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ Have to agree - this thread is always one of the first I look for in GC and its slightly annoying to have to hunt it down - even briefly. I'd have thought having it as a sticky would also help to prevent newcomers from posting silly links etc in separate threads....

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You know what I wish? I wish all the scum of the earth had one throat, and I had my hands around it.


BRUNO HAYFORD: "you are an eel, 75% negative, 10% positive, 10% amorphous and 5% blank"
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remmy223
Elite Baiter


Joined: 12 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Police are warning men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and cautious when offered a drink from a woman.Many females use a date drug called 'Beer'. !

The drug is found in liquid form and is available in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large 'kegs'. Beer is used by female sex predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few Beers and then ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desire to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted to.

After drinking several beers, men often awaken with hazy memories of what happened to them the night before. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship.'

In extreme cases, the female may be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer form of servitude referred to as 'marriage.' Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

If you fall victim to this 'Beer' scam, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your encounter with similarly victimised men.

For the support group nearest you, look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book.

Laughing Laughing

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sheboppe
The Sparkly Member


Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 5002
Location: United States


PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Gold Hat wrote:
Please stickify this and the other one.

Tell the person who complained to post in both threads Twisted Evil


Since you asked so sweetly darling, I will reconsider re-sticking this thread and the music thread. All of the requests for them to be re-stickied have been nice requests so I will make my decision by this evening. Very Happy

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wokabo
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 23 Sep 2004
Posts: 825
Location: best beer country in onomatopoeia world


PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Bump! Is it evening yet?

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sheboppe
The Sparkly Member


Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 5002
Location: United States


PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Due to the popularity of this thread, I have re-stickied it. I removed it from being a sticky because there were complaints that there are too many stickies in the forums. It appears that even though daily posts in this thread will keep it on the front page of General Chat, no one wants to "hunt it down" when they want to read it or post in it.

With this in mind, if you read or post in this thread, please don't gripe that there are too many stickies. I have given you what you asked for. Very Happy

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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***


Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049


PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Red Crusader wrote:

and here's the joke
Quote:
The weather as it gets best in Iceland

+15C (59f)
People in Spain use winter coats and thick gloves.
Icelanders lay in their backyard sunbathing.
SNIP
.
.
.
-300C (-508f)
Hell freezes!
Iceland wins Eurovision!


My apologies RC but methinks this joke actually began in Canada eh! Wink

Canucks and weather

Quote:
50F - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.

40F - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.

35F - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.

32F - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.

20F - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.

15F - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.

0F - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

-10F - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles to see if their tongue will stick.

-20F - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.

-40F - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos.

-60F - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.

-80F - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

-100F - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173F - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-297F - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460F - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500F - Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
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thud419
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3194


PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

There are many ways to save the planet. This is not one of them:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080514/tot-life-japan-bra-dc-4b7b872.html

So if you don't wear clothes and you don't go out in the rain, and you can charge your iPod.

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Newdonym
Elite Baiter


Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Posts: 1043


PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

http://www.dougshaw.com/garfield.html
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thud419
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3194


PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I was looking for something else....
http://kingkeld.blogspot.com/2008/02/goth-harry-potter-hermione-and-ron.html

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I did not f**k your wife in any way -- Nike Akanbi
I don't know what else to do or do I continue filling and filling forms. -- Barr. Koloti
you has been dribbling me up and down but I will show some thing you have never seen before, I think you breath air wait and see. -- Sand Timer Barr. Cole
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ronco
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Going with a garfield theme...

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

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Strongside
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 27 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 2:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Fat Bastard wine. http://www.fatbastard.com/our-wines.php

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Rintastic
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Joined: 05 Jun 2007
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Location: Ohio, USA


PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 10:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Image

find more funny like this from my favorite local cartoonists at toothpastefordinner.com

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