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 Stupid/Funny or RANDOM Link/Joke of the Day

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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 4:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

For all you "Chuck Norris" fans.... Wink

Chuck Norris is here to save America!
He wrote a book!
This is great! So damn funny! Laughing
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=86308

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Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
Safari Safari Sand Timer (19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
Safari x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Safari Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
pony pony Closed lad accounts Mortar Goat Easter Egg 2011
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Old news, but I just got an email about it:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

Not that I'm a fan of the violin, but I'd be kicking myself just for walking past a guy who charges $100 a ticket when I coulda got a free concert!!!

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Star pony pony pony Nurse Nastys Audi TT Purple Flower Whip
Safari Jolly Roger Mortar Closed lad accounts Cellphone United Kingdom

God will see you true for all this you have done to me you bastard. - Collins Kalu
MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY. - Dr Linda Akeem
oh what a mess its time cabbage punks like u will be expose for trully what they are. - David Cole
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A SKYHOOK
419Eater is my life


Joined: 20 Sep 2008
Posts: 405
Location: the land of oz


PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 11:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Slightlyoutofit
that took some time to read but wow what a story we all need to take the time to smell the roses Wink Crying or Very sad Laughing

_________________
before i can walk i must crawl and a skyhook will help lift me up were i want to be . i no iv got one in the shed some were hang on ill be back as soon as i find it
We are expecting you to feed us with the necessary payment details This is prof.Sloudo the excutive Governor Of Central Bank Of Nigeria.



Twisted Evil Last edited SUN/8/2010 by one of the skyhooks The pointed eared fairy, aka "Yasterb" is much nicer looking now since the operation thats her in her new avatar the one on the left with the wax "dummy" of the old elfie Twisted Evil
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Kokomeister
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Sep 2008
Posts: 3002
Location: Wandering around the world with a sense of adventure!


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (and for lovers of words, too!) Wink

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit
me.

Police were called to a daycare where a 3-yr-old was
resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cutoff?
He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand-alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner..


The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in
the end.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a
mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought
she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.


_________________
red head gangster (Emma the Tropical Herbalist)
YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY LIFE ADVENTURE (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE SUCH A BIG SICKNESS THAT STEP ON ME! (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE TOO SMALL, GO AHEAD WITH WHATEVER YOU THINK OR IMAGINED THAT YOU CAN DO TO ME, ONCE YOU TRY ONCE YOU WILL DIE HARD. YOU BETTER DON'T TRY ME AT ALL YOU FOOL- Mariam Abacha (6 months)
<a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=232044">[Current ongoing bait]</a>
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Safari Auntie Tina- Lagos-Parakou-Tanguieta-Niamey-Tera-Mallanville-Lagos "well the story you read in children's fairytale story book when you are young is not the same as what is happing now."
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one.
Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job.'

Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'

The manager said,
'Make a sentence using the words
Yellow , Pink and Green .'

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
'Mister manager, I am ready'

The manager said, 'Go ahead.'

Mujibar said,
'The telephone goes green, green ,
and I pink it up, and say,
' Yellow ' , this is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works at a call center.

No doubt you have spoken to him.
I know I have.

Image

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God will see you true for all this you have done to me you bastard. - Collins Kalu
MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY. - Dr Linda Akeem
oh what a mess its time cabbage punks like u will be expose for trully what they are. - David Cole
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Roycropper
Undead Moderator


Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
Location: Luxury Coffin


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How to securely kill a hard drive.

LINK

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
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x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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A SKYHOOK
419Eater is my life


Joined: 20 Sep 2008
Posts: 405
Location: the land of oz


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 2:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

part of an email i got tonight from lad hum wonder what hes up to with it if he ever gets it from me hahahahaah may be hes thinks he has the [email protected] bug Wink


Quote:
The only thing you will have to do is to get the two hard disc( CALLED HD120 GIG) to enable me re-copy all your information in place of the old one that will give me an avenue to destroy the previous one and punch the computer to reflect into your account within 24 Hours.

Each of the hard disc costs $265 here in Nigeria but I dont know how much it costs over there in your country, try your best and get it today to enable me commence immediately as I am still waiting to hear from you or if you can not get the hard disc send the money to enable me obtain and so that your fund will reflect into your account immediately before the closing of the day.

_________________
before i can walk i must crawl and a skyhook will help lift me up were i want to be . i no iv got one in the shed some were hang on ill be back as soon as i find it
We are expecting you to feed us with the necessary payment details This is prof.Sloudo the excutive Governor Of Central Bank Of Nigeria.



Twisted Evil Last edited SUN/8/2010 by one of the skyhooks The pointed eared fairy, aka "Yasterb" is much nicer looking now since the operation thats her in her new avatar the one on the left with the wax "dummy" of the old elfie Twisted Evil
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Peanut
awaiting my WARNED tag


Joined: 10 May 2007
Posts: 1143
Location: Chicago


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Image

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Sand TimerSafariSafari(Lagos-Benin City-Lagos-Kano-Maiduguri-Lagos-Calabar): ~2,696 miles,stranded for 11 days: "I am very grateful that you have turned me into a tourist,international espionage and adventurer." ~Desmond and Churchill

Please i am advicing you to comply with the bank so that they will tranfered this fun into your account. ~Rosemary

U.S. Passport Application - 50 Pages of Fun

The Peanut Gallery - Artwork Baits "DO YOU KNOW THAT SECURITY PHOTOS IS AGAINST HUMANITY , CAN YOU TELL A RESPONSIBLE MAN TO BE CARRYING IN FISH ON THE HEAD TO TAKE A PHOTO. CAN YOU DO THAT?" - Mr. Ferguson
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grlnxtdr681
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 643
Location: Riding a goat around the city...


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Here are some sites you guys might enjoy reading in your "spare" time from the Eater:

http://community.livejournal.com/wtf_signs/
http://www.greencats.com/
http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/shizzypage1.html
http://www.notla.com/ebay/feedback/left/?phpMyAdmin=0ca9a30a087bdb03c9fdffbe66b3ab8f


I am still gathering pictures so I will just start you guys off with the sites and reply back with the pics.

Have a good laugh!!!!

_________________
-You are not too far from deaf. In Jesus name amen.- Simon "Says"
-but I can't not send my picture to you
because to me that is illegal- Michael the Beggar
-Go to hell fake pastor - Ama400
-AM RIDING A GOAT AROUND TOWN AND THE GOAT FALL ME DOWN AND HIT ME ON MY HEAD AND I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AGAIN AND CAN YOU TELL ME THAT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE RIDING A GOAT AROUND THE CITY - Gold Dust Lad

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Tattoo - Dung4 & J0hn
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grlnxtdr681
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 643
Location: Riding a goat around the city...


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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Nope, pulled this one - making fun of child abuse goes too far. RC

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_________________
-You are not too far from deaf. In Jesus name amen.- Simon "Says"
-but I can't not send my picture to you
because to me that is illegal- Michael the Beggar
-Go to hell fake pastor - Ama400
-AM RIDING A GOAT AROUND TOWN AND THE GOAT FALL ME DOWN AND HIT ME ON MY HEAD AND I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AGAIN AND CAN YOU TELL ME THAT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE RIDING A GOAT AROUND THE CITY - Gold Dust Lad

Safari =Ghana to Benin complete
Safari(group effort) = 0y3nk4 Ch1d1nm4 Lasgos to Cotonou:
Closed lad accounts x 8...so far
Mortar x4 pony <--Thx Lotta United Kingdom
Tattoo - Dung4 & J0hn
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grlnxtdr681
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 643
Location: Riding a goat around the city...


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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_________________
-You are not too far from deaf. In Jesus name amen.- Simon "Says"
-but I can't not send my picture to you
because to me that is illegal- Michael the Beggar
-Go to hell fake pastor - Ama400
-AM RIDING A GOAT AROUND TOWN AND THE GOAT FALL ME DOWN AND HIT ME ON MY HEAD AND I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AGAIN AND CAN YOU TELL ME THAT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE RIDING A GOAT AROUND THE CITY - Gold Dust Lad

Safari =Ghana to Benin complete
Safari(group effort) = 0y3nk4 Ch1d1nm4 Lasgos to Cotonou:
Closed lad accounts x 8...so far
Mortar x4 pony <--Thx Lotta United Kingdom
Tattoo - Dung4 & J0hn
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grlnxtdr681
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 643
Location: Riding a goat around the city...


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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_________________
-You are not too far from deaf. In Jesus name amen.- Simon "Says"
-but I can't not send my picture to you
because to me that is illegal- Michael the Beggar
-Go to hell fake pastor - Ama400
-AM RIDING A GOAT AROUND TOWN AND THE GOAT FALL ME DOWN AND HIT ME ON MY HEAD AND I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AGAIN AND CAN YOU TELL ME THAT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE RIDING A GOAT AROUND THE CITY - Gold Dust Lad

Safari =Ghana to Benin complete
Safari(group effort) = 0y3nk4 Ch1d1nm4 Lasgos to Cotonou:
Closed lad accounts x 8...so far
Mortar x4 pony <--Thx Lotta United Kingdom
Tattoo - Dung4 & J0hn
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grlnxtdr681
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 643
Location: Riding a goat around the city...


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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_________________
-You are not too far from deaf. In Jesus name amen.- Simon "Says"
-but I can't not send my picture to you
because to me that is illegal- Michael the Beggar
-Go to hell fake pastor - Ama400
-AM RIDING A GOAT AROUND TOWN AND THE GOAT FALL ME DOWN AND HIT ME ON MY HEAD AND I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AGAIN AND CAN YOU TELL ME THAT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE RIDING A GOAT AROUND THE CITY - Gold Dust Lad

Safari =Ghana to Benin complete
Safari(group effort) = 0y3nk4 Ch1d1nm4 Lasgos to Cotonou:
Closed lad accounts x 8...so far
Mortar x4 pony <--Thx Lotta United Kingdom
Tattoo - Dung4 & J0hn
View user's profileSend private message
grlnxtdr681
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 643
Location: Riding a goat around the city...


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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_________________
-You are not too far from deaf. In Jesus name amen.- Simon "Says"
-but I can't not send my picture to you
because to me that is illegal- Michael the Beggar
-Go to hell fake pastor - Ama400
-AM RIDING A GOAT AROUND TOWN AND THE GOAT FALL ME DOWN AND HIT ME ON MY HEAD AND I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AGAIN AND CAN YOU TELL ME THAT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE RIDING A GOAT AROUND THE CITY - Gold Dust Lad

Safari =Ghana to Benin complete
Safari(group effort) = 0y3nk4 Ch1d1nm4 Lasgos to Cotonou:
Closed lad accounts x 8...so far
Mortar x4 pony <--Thx Lotta United Kingdom
Tattoo - Dung4 & J0hn
View user's profileSend private message
grlnxtdr681
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 643
Location: Riding a goat around the city...


PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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_________________
-You are not too far from deaf. In Jesus name amen.- Simon "Says"
-but I can't not send my picture to you
because to me that is illegal- Michael the Beggar
-Go to hell fake pastor - Ama400
-AM RIDING A GOAT AROUND TOWN AND THE GOAT FALL ME DOWN AND HIT ME ON MY HEAD AND I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AGAIN AND CAN YOU TELL ME THAT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE RIDING A GOAT AROUND THE CITY - Gold Dust Lad

Safari =Ghana to Benin complete
Safari(group effort) = 0y3nk4 Ch1d1nm4 Lasgos to Cotonou:
Closed lad accounts x 8...so far
Mortar x4 pony <--Thx Lotta United Kingdom
Tattoo - Dung4 & J0hn
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Nanny Ogg
"Bruce"


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2624


PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 8:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A Moo -ving story from the BBC

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Corona
Eater's sweetheart


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8623
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 6:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. Razz

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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way


Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America


PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Amazon is selling uranium ore. Check out the customer reveiws.

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Malaysia United Kingdom Nigeria x3 Ivory Coast

FEMALE

"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali

"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack

"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith

"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se

Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> pony
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way


Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America


PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Belgium doesn't exist! It's a conspiracy!

_________________
Malaysia United Kingdom Nigeria x3 Ivory Coast

FEMALE

"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali

"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack

"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith

"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se

Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> pony
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A SKYHOOK
419Eater is my life


Joined: 20 Sep 2008
Posts: 405
Location: the land of oz


PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 1:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The Loyal Wife



There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, 'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the after life with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died . . .
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait, just a minute!'

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, 'I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied 'Listen, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.'

'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him !!! ?'

'I sure did' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.'

Moral of the story: Women are cleverer than Men

Send this to a clever women you know, or a man with a good sense of humour

_________________
before i can walk i must crawl and a skyhook will help lift me up were i want to be . i no iv got one in the shed some were hang on ill be back as soon as i find it
We are expecting you to feed us with the necessary payment details This is prof.Sloudo the excutive Governor Of Central Bank Of Nigeria.



Twisted Evil Last edited SUN/8/2010 by one of the skyhooks The pointed eared fairy, aka "Yasterb" is much nicer looking now since the operation thats her in her new avatar the one on the left with the wax "dummy" of the old elfie Twisted Evil
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Corona
Eater's sweetheart


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8623
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 1:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

$7 SEX

A Florida couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrongth the way you have intercourse.'

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row.
The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.< BR> Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married so we can't go to her house.

I'm married and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

ONT>The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and
I get $43 back from Medicare
Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
Pretty Rose Pretty Rose Pretty Rose pony pony pony Nurse Nastys Audi TT Nurse Nastys Audi TT Nurse Nastys Audi TT GoatGoatGoatEaster EggEaster 2015Mc Fry Mc Fry
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Pastor Frank
Moderator


Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 11463
Location: Illuminati HQ


PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major went to a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am, he replied." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect." -Emerson
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 8:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.'
'No more headaches?' the husband asks. 'What happened?'
His wife replies, 'Margie referred me to a hypnotist and he told me to stand in front of a mirror, Stare at myself and repeat,

' I do not have a headache '
' I do not have a headache '
' I do not have a headache '

'Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.'

Well , that is wonderful' proclaims the husband.
His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?' Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, 'WOW! - that was wonderful!
The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD' she proclaims.
Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back..'
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying.

'She's not my wife '
'She's not my wife '
'She's not my wife '
'She's not my wife '


His funeral service will be held on Friday.

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Peanut
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

VOCABULARY WORD FOR THE DAY

LIQUIDITY: When you look at your investments and wet your pants
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