Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Well, but in case they do answer again (which I doubt), do you have any idea at hand on how to explain why you're not there?

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:01 pm

^^^It's ALWAYS the lads' fault their contact didn't show up. The lazy mugi. Smile

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:25 pm

It's pretty simple really. When you have a safari going like this, you always want to keep the lad moving in small increments. So in this case, Eric and Hamdan (our fake TWATs) will be hung up to the north of Abeche in Farchana or some place like that. Ideally, we would get the lads to keep going east towards Sudan but we already told the TWAT that we were in Khack Khack, to the west. How would we explain being anywhere else without getting too unbelievable? Abeche might very well be the end of the line here. We told the lads that the plane would be there waiting for them. If I were them, I would head for the airfield.

There is a town on the border called Adre. It's the last stop before the Darfur region of Sudan. Maybe we can get creative and dream up some reason that Eric and Hamdan are there now. Getting over the border will be nearly impossible but it has happened with lads before.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:30 pm

There's always NGOs needing an extra hand. Maybe some missionaries with an airplane would jump at the chance to help out.

For example here's something from Medecins sans Frontieres on fairly recent developments in Adre.

Quote:

Fighting in eastern Chad

On Sun., Feb. 3, the town of Adr� (bordering the Sudanese region of Darfur) was attacked. Several wounded arrived at the town�s general hospital where an MSF team works. While some team members are being evacuated, a surgical team remains and is operating in the hospital (a surgeon, an anesthetist, a nurse and the field coordinator).

While some teams have been reduced in eastern Chad, MSF still continues its work in the region, including in the camps for displaced people and Sudanese refugees.

You know things have got pretty bad when Doctors Without Borders decide to pack it in. Sad

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:36 pm

Awesome bait. You may not know this, but there are Austrian EUFOR troops stationed in Abeche. You can see pictures of it on the homepage of the austrian army (in german):
http://www.bundesheer.at/ausle/eufor_tschad/galerie.php?id=1404

You might want to tell the lad to approach the soldiers with the words: "Ich bring euch alle um!!" (I will kill all of you!) I am sure they would appreciate this very much, especially since the guys down there are not "normal" soldiers but mainly special forces troops (Jagdkommando) similar to the SAS, and green berets *g* Twisted Evil

And I doubt they have a great sense of humour when they think they are being assulted Twisted Evil

Oh, btw, the motto of the Jagdkommando is "Nunquam retro" which means "never back". Isn�t that fitting for our lad too? Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:55 pm

I'm not sure anyone here can claim the moral high ground dumping lads in a warzone, but as baits go, it's certainly been effective. Shame the C�de d'Ivorie isn't close enough for him to walk the final yards for the baiting challenge!

That said, $1000/�500 for a taxi 200 miles? I could arrange a London Black Cab for less than that! Hey, I knew a guy who got a taxi from Vegas to some major airport in Canada for $2,400 on *that* Sept 12th when all US flights were grounded. Perhaps he's greedy and exaggerating even at this late stage?

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:57 pm

Tricia wrote:

A quick googling provided a picture of that very same bus station...

http://christmasindarfur.blogspot.com/2007/01/happy-new-year-live-from-ndjamena.html

That's a nice orange bus. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:23 pm

YeaWhatever wrote:

When you have a safari going like this, you always want to keep the lad moving in small increments.

Abeche - Biltene - Oum Chalouba - Fada* - ???

*According to the map I looked at, the road ends here Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:11 am

LMAO!!!
Still checking in on this every evening.....better than anything on tv..

Would make a great movie. Something along the lines of "The Gods must be crazy". Works on a few different levels.

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:26 am

I must have missed it- where did this lad start? Which country, I mean.

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:31 am

^^^^
Lagos, Nigeria

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:32 am

freddyfudpucker wrote:

LMAO!!!
Still checking in on this every evening.....better than anything on tv..

Would make a great movie. Something along the lines of "The Gods must be crazy". Works on a few different levels.

Have a look through some of any Safari by YeaWhatever, JojoBean and Big Worm, and you'll find a film reference creeping in...

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=81042&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=sunbul&start=0

Mystic River, The Jewel Of The Nile and The Gods Must Be Crazy got mentions there!

Other baits inspired film references - including Speed, The Blair Witch Project, Open Water and Sleepless in Seattle.

Edited because "Ssfari" isn't an actual word.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 70

unimagineable bastard pigs

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:44 am

Now, World66 has this bit about Ab�ch�:

Quote:

Ouara is a few kilometres away and nice to visit. there is a mosque and a sultan's tomb. If you are brave you might continue all the way to Adr� on the border with Sudan. Apparently it is possible to cross into Sudan, but I haven't heard of anyone doing this. If you have, please let us know!

Sounds like a challenge to me. There are some nice pictures too.

http://www.world66.com/africa/chad/abeche

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:54 am

So, the TWATS are apparently leaving within the hour. They have no phone credit to dial my alternate number that YW provided as the secondary Sat phone, there is of course, no TWAT headquarters in Abeche, they have no money, no food, and he just told me that he's STILL wearing the missionary outfit and that I should expect to see him in it.

The new number he provided to us is the mobile of the guy driving them to Abeche. He wants me to call around 4-5 PM Chad time just to check in. Unfortunately, my tempurpedic bed won't let me out of it until around 8 PM Chad time Sad

It's not my fault, it's just SO comfortable.

The last lines of this call show just how badly this lad has been baited. He has ZERO doubt, even after coming into day 11 of his shitty safari. You just can't make this stuff up. Courtesy of Tricia, here's a shot of the marketplace in the city he'll be arriving in (1400 miles from home with no way back):

http://www.world66.com/africa/chad/abeche/lib/gallery/showimage?pic=africa/chad/abeche/marketplace_abeche

Think they have internet there for e-mails??

Poor stinky, I'm really going to miss you. This is possibly the last of the audio we'll get from this bait:

http://media.putfile.com/Adamu-Is-Fcked

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Professor So And So wrote:

Think they have internet there for e-mails??

There's certainly Internet access in Abeche. Whether the lads can afford the fees or bribes is another matter.

Quote:

[NGO] staff tend to access the internet computers at UNHCR which enable full �web-browsing� in slots of 20 minutes per person although the links can be slow and the queues lengthy... Mobile telephone connections to Ab�ch� are relatively good although the network is often unavailable. Calls from mobiles to the UK are expensive

-- CORD (PDF)

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:46 pm

STOP THE PRESSES!

The lad has not left. Imagine this... he wants money before he hits the road again.

Quote:

DEAR REV BENJAMIN.
PLEASE I WANT OT INFORM YOU THAT THE DRIVER THAT SUPPOSE TO CARRY US TO ABECHE DISAPPOINTED US. HE SAID THAT HE IS NO MORE GOING TO ABECHE EXPECT WE DEPOSIT HALF OF THE MONEY THAT IS FIVE HUNDERD DOLLAR SO THAT IT WILL ENABLE HIM TO BUY FUEL.
PLEASE CALL ERIC TO SEND TO ME HALF OF THE MONEY IMMEDIATELY TO NDJAMENA WITHOUT WASTING MORE TIME SO THAT I CAN TRAVEL TO ABECHE TO MEET THEM. I AM VERY TIRED HERE IN NDJAMENA UNDER THIS HASH CONDITION HERE.
PLEASE TELL HIM TO USE THIS NAME FOR THE WU
NAME/EZEJI EMMANUEL A
ADDRESS/NDJAMENA TCHAD
QUESTION/ WHAT FOR
ANSWER/ TRANSPORT
I WILL BE VERY GRATEFUL PLEASE THE NAME I GAVE YOU IS THE NAME OF THE MAN THAT IS ASSIST US IN NDJAMENA/
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU AMEN
ADAMU LAWAL

Not sure what we'll do about this just yet. Of course, we find it very interesting that we need to send money to someone named "EZEJI EMMANUEL A" and not "ADAMU LAWAL", the name that the lad uses. I am sure that he will say that is the name of his travel companion.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

Quote:

I AM VERY TIRED HERE IN NDJAMENA UNDER THIS HASH CONDITION

Sounds like he's been sitting on his ass smoking dope-no wonder he ain't moving-next he'll be telling you he needs some money for the munchies!!!

Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:57 pm

Quote:

ADDRESS/NDJAMENA TCHAD

Don't you just love the irony of that, No Fixed Abode, just sleeping anywhere... Laughing

I love all & any safari, but to get a mugu to a hellish shitter of a destination like Tchad must be particularly satisfying... Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:08 pm

Hahaha, Donato, I saw that, too!

Like, wow, man, it's hot here, and, like, there is no baskin Robins, andd, like, sometimes, you know, when you... and then... but, whoa! wait a minute. I am sitting next to an ant infested pile of camel dung.... they're in my back pack, man, eating the last of my stash of marshmallows. Yo, send me $500 with the MTCN, man, to help me cope.

Well, sitting there he is stil screwed, not as badly as in Abeche, hahahaha, but! he will soon figure some way to get his mugu self off to Abeche...

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 09 Apr 2008 Posts: 18

Is it time for "there's been a terrible accident Ad@mu" ?

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:43 pm

@professor so: Just listened to your last call. I'm always impressed by your patience and self-control during these conversations. God is on our side! Too bad he doesn't rain down cash from heaven.

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:48 pm

That's an interesting development. I have trouble believing that it's really $200 per person for the short, comfortable ride to Abeche. Given what the fuel prices are probably like there, I guess it's possible, but that seems very high. I mean, I can fly to Dallas on Continental for less than that, and I'd MUCH rather take the bus to Abeche.

The problem is that it's a reasonable request (except for the amount) and it's the sort of thing that the TWATs would probably do. You might consider questioning the reliability of the driver - first he was going to do it for free, and then suddenly he wanted payment, what is his game? You might also question the commitment of your missionary for his inability to overcome any obstacle thrown in his way by Satan, because all he's done is whine about how difficult things are. Is that really the sort of missionary you need? Oh, if only he knew the suffering Jojo is going through right now.... the beer is too cold, the daiquiri's too fruitiful...

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:50 pm

YeaWhatever wrote:

Not sure what we'll do about this just yet.

Get him to beg on the street so he can complete his holy mission.

Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:56 pm

We have sort of painted outselves into a corner here. But we have a plan.

Since the TWATs are not in Abeche yet, Eric and Hamdan have been dispatched to Adre, on the Sudan border to attend to yet another medical emergency. But before they left, they wrote back to their bosses in the US and told them to send some money via WU.

When money is sent from the US via WU, it is ALWAYS sent WU Secure Services. You know about that service, right? That is the one where you cannot check it online (for additional security of course) and it can only be picked up at a specific location. Guess where the location will be? You guessed it, Abeche.

Someone from the US will send $3000.00. You can send that much with Secure Services, even more if you want. The lads will be provided with a very real looking receipt that will have explicit instructions on how to collect the money. Once the money is sent, Dover, Eric and Hamdan will be unreachable. Eric and Hamdan will be in Adre and Dover will be, well, just gone, maybe traveling.

This is the only plan that we can think of that will not be so unbelievable that the lads will just give up and the extra $3K will hopefully be enough for them to bite and convince the driver or someone else that they will be paid handsomly for their troubles.

Stay tuned.

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