Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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*** BANNED *** Joined: 12 Dec 2005 Posts: 32

Professor So And So wrote:

Well, he has FINALLY given us a reason to start probing him about his brother's health, and maybe we can find out more about the leg now.

Dr. Kevorkian to the rescue! First a remote diagnosis and then the appropriate treatment that includes long desert walks in the cold of the night.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 593

YeaWhatever wrote:

I am strongly thinking of giving you his job, bringing you here to the U.S., Rev. Will U. Phystme

ha, that would be amazing if you could get him on safari to the US - perhaps grant him some sort of fake diplomatic visa which would get him arrested at passport control. Laughing

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 4:51 pm

Just Jane wrote:

Well Jeez, if Stinkboi can make it to the cafe on Hospital Road, why can't he get his brother hobble down the road to the Hospital? Then Stinkboi can convince the hospital to wait for payment like he asked The Hand for payment. I mean, how hard could it be? Rolling Eyes

I like the thought of the lads incurring more debt with the locals, Twisted Evil

(Maxing out his credit) which would make it next to impossible for them them to leave 4beche without their creditors hounding him for their payment. Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 21 Nov 2005 Posts: 264

YeaWhatever wrote:

Unless Adamu and the leg actually get killed, it is inevitable that they will figure this all out. The fake emails from one lad to the other... if someday they actually talk to each other, they will no doubt start to compare notes. A burn has already been started to be written. Hopefully we will not need to use it though for quite a while.

That's music to my ears/eyes. Laughing

If I imagine going through all that Stinky and Bro have with the expectation of a huge reward only to find out that the reward never existed and all that misery was witnessed by hundreds or thousands of people for no other purpose than entertainment I think I'd go completely and unutterably, bonkers, tie me up in a funny shirt and lock me in a padded room mad. Laughing

You guys deserve a medal for this bait.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:02 pm

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ce/Snakehandling.png

A Leg Healing Ceremony. Well, not really... but there really are people in the US that use snakes in their worship services.

Substitute sand vipers (common in Chad) for rattlesnakes, and voila! Instant leg healing.

I am not really condoning this. I just hate scammers and I get carried away sometimes.

<Changed image to a link. It was soooooo big it almost broke the entire internet - Keep images to 600 pixels wide - Thank you. Please come again - NN>

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:11 pm

Osmin Below wrote:

Professor So And So wrote:

Well, he has FINALLY given us a reason to start probing him about his brother's health, and maybe we can find out more about the leg now.

Dr. Kevorkian to the rescue! First a remote diagnosis and then the appropriate treatment that includes long desert walks in the cold of the night.

And fasting - no doubt he'll appreciate such an easy task.

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

Ah - fantastic! I just won't have the same urge to rush to the computer when I get home whenever once this is over comes!

I hope Adamu gives Rev Dover suitable sympathy.

Of course if it all transpires that Dover just aint cut out for travelling to the lad... welll... what a pity, eh?

In the meantime we need photos. Remote diagnosis of the leg and ensuring the bringing of appropriate medical help needs photos!

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:54 pm

Hamdan really does not appreciate being blown off like that. He is not one to piss off either. Hamdan just wrote this to Adamu.

Quote:

DO NOT PRETEND THAT I AM NOT HERE. I GIVE YOU MONEY FOR DOVER LOCATON. DO NOT FORCE ME TO GO TO ABECHE TO SEE YOU. WHERE IS DOVER? WRITE BACK TO ME NOW.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 11:03 pm

<dances up and down with glee>

More of this please Very Happy

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 2:03 am

MattNW,

The potential 'burn' idea raises other possibilities...perhaps it could be revelealed much later that the reward for experiencing the hardship and misery is a 'spiritual' reward and this trail the lads are on is a test of faith, i know I have been watching old Indiana Jones movies...

..These lads have done very well enduring the hardship of the current trail and shown great courage in the face of adversity and the unending belief in the T.W.A.T.....perhaps they will pass the test and be eligable for a much higher plane of existence (and a lot more $$$) in the T.w.a.t organisation for showing such courage and faith....after a couple more trials... Cool

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 2:47 am

Osmin Below wrote:

Dr. Kevorkian to the rescue! First a remote diagnosis and then the appropriate treatment that includes long desert walks in the cold of the night.

Wow, that sounds almost like something written on a dating website! Shocked

I am sure Dr. K would be happy to give a remote Dx... Laughing

If you do burn at the end, let me and lucky know. We have comfort and aid for such lads... Wink

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 3:12 am

dagget wrote:

The potential 'burn' idea raises other possibilities...perhaps it could be revelealed much later that the reward for experiencing the hardship and misery is a 'spiritual' reward and this trail the lads are on is a test of faith, i know I have been watching old Indiana Jones movies...

..These lads have done very well enduring the hardship of the current trail and shown great courage in the face of adversity and the unending belief in the T.W.A.T.....perhaps they will pass the test and be eligable for a much higher plane of existence (and a lot more $$$) in the T.w.a.t organisation for showing such courage and faith....after a couple more trials... Cool

I love this idea to death. Really. Please, O Great TWATers, consider doing this.

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 5:16 am

If dover sends Adamu an email saying that he's taking the money with him to meet (the ever so friendly) Hamdam, would Adamu warn him of the danger and try to save the money? Razz

Not quite a Newb Joined: 01 Apr 2008 Posts: 45

Stinkiboi wrote:

DEAR REV WILLIAM,
EVEN AT THIS TIME WE ARE EVEN SURPRISE THAT YOU ARE ASKING US OF HAVING A GREAT TIME. REV PLEASE THERE IS NO GREAT TIME FOR US AND THERE IS NO FUN FOR US HERE IN ABECHE ...

It needs to be pointed out to them, without making the twig, that surely Abeche is more fun than lighting yourself on fire.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

Man this bait gets better each day, wow two months that's insane Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 9:39 am

I'm not sure when Adamu's poor mother is scheduled to pass on, but I think it would be tragic if he were told something along the lines of...

When she was just about to die, she asked where he was and was told by somebody that he was off stealing money from a church, because he is a 419er. She then died crying, terribly upset that her son was a criminal and a failure.

That would be truly awful.

It might even make him feel guilty for 2 or 3 seconds.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 May 2008 Posts: 51

^^ I like that idea a lot.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 May 2008 Posts: 42

Wouldn't it kill the bait though? He'd either go home, or really try to get in touch somehow with home straight away, and would either learn that the thing was a fake or just be going home either way.

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:41 pm

I think if he could go home, he would have by now - and the only contact he has with the outside world is with TWAT and what he thinks are the other lads? Of course, it's up to the TWAT hierarchy if the idea is pursued or not...

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:43 pm

What if StinkBoi was fed more on the prospect that he can get Dover's job for himself and is thus led into whining (which he is really good at) to Phystme about Dover's inconsideration of fellow T*W*A*T*S and general self centered selfish attitude. That causes Phystme to demote Dover.
Then Phystme dies or something and Dover takes over his office and finds StinkBoi's e-mails and then decides Stinky needs to be punished a little? Well, allright, a lot then!

If there is a burn at the end of this fantastic bait I hope you will direct StinkBoi to this thread so that he can enjoy reliving his most Amazing African Adventure. The true test will be if he sees the humour in it all! Laughing

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:48 pm

^^^^ That's downright evil. I love it Laughing

Osmin Below wrote:

Professor So And So wrote:

Well, he has FINALLY given us a reason to start probing him about his brother's health, and maybe we can find out more about the leg now.

Dr. Kevorkian to the rescue! First a remote diagnosis and then the appropriate treatment that includes long desert walks in the cold of the night.

About 2 thirds of the way down this page Eliza Doolittle prescribes Toothpaste & chili pepper as a treatment for a sensitive area of the male anatomy. Maybe the same ingredients could be suggested to heal The Leg. If there is an open wound then this could cause some severe pain. Laughing

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 1:22 pm

Even in a dire situation, a lad just cannot tell the truth. To his friends, CZ and ND, he says that is brother's leg was injured while trying to escape rebel gunfire. But to Phystme, his brother has malaria. Does it matter to us? No. Either one is fine with us.

Letter to Phystme... Notice that there is no mention of the generous job offer that Phystme laid out there.

Quote:

DEAR WILLIAM,
WE ARE GREETING YOU IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
WE THANK GOD FOR THE KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE AND AS THE HEAD OF TWAT CHURCH MAY GOD BLESS YOU IN ALL YOUR WORKS.
REV WILLIAM, MY BROTHER HAVE BEEN SICK OF MALARIA DUE TO BAD WATER AND HASH WEATHER HERE IN ABECHE. WE HAVE BEEN HOLDING OURSERVES AND PRAYING TO GOD TO SEE US THROUGH.
CONCERNING THE WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM, WE SEND SOME MONEY GRAM NUMBERS TO YOU WHICH THE MONEY GRAM MANAGER SAID THAT IS FAKE , FOR YOU TO CONFIRM WITH THE ACCOUNT DEPARTMENT BUT YOU DID NOT SAY ANYTHING CONCERNING THE NUMBERS IF THEY ARE OKAY OR FAKE. THEY NEARLY ARRESTED ME BECAUSE THE MANAGER SAY THAT I COME WITH FAKE MONEY GRAM NUMBERS. (God know we're trying Smelly)
PLEASE REV WILLIAM, YOU ARE OUR FATHER IN THE LORD AND THE HEAD OF TWAT WHAT YOU SAY IS THE FINAL. PLEASE REV PHYSTEME, ASK THE ACCOUNT DEPARTMENT TO SEND US THIS MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM TODAY AND WE WILL PICK IT AND CONFIRM TO YOU THAT WE HAVE PICK. ALL THE ONE THEY SAY THAT THEY HAVE BEEN SENDING WE HAVE NOT RECEIVE ANYTHING AT ALL.
PLEASE REV WILLIAM, TELL THEM TO SEND 1000USD PER DAY NOT 3000USD AT ONCE DUE TO CHADIAN LAWS HERE SAY THAT THEY DONT RECEIVE MORE THAN 1000USD PER DAY.
THEY CAN SEND IT THROUGH THIS NAME.
NAME: EMMANUEL .A.EZEJI
ADDRESS:ABECHE CHAD
QUESTION:WHAT FOR
ANSWAER:TRANSPORT
PLEASE REV WILLIAM, DO IT FOR US AND WE WILL MAKE SURE THAT TWAT CHURCH WILL BE ONE OF THE KNOWN CHURCHES IN NIGERIA BY HIS GRACE.
PLEASE REV WILLIAM, THE SENDER SHOULD ATTACH THE WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM RECEIPTS.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU PLEASE LET IT BE TODAY WE ARE WAITING.
BEST REGARDS,
ADAMU

Adamu writes this to his friend ND, who seems to have more money than any of his contacts.

Quote:

DEAR ND,
PLEASE ND DO YOU WANT ME OKEY AND BROTHER TO DIE HERE IN CHAD?
TRY YOUR BEST AND SEE THAT WE COME BACK THIS WEEK PLEASE WE ARE IN A VERY BAD CONDITION HERE.YOU CAN CALL THIS NUMBER 235638XXXX
HAMZA IS BACK PLEASE
OKEY

Once again, ND (who is really us now) is not much of a help.

Quote:

OKEY,

EVRYTIME I TRY CALL THAT NUMBER I CAN NOT CONNECT. I AM HAVING BIG PROBLEMS GETTING THE TRANSPORT MONEY THAT YOU ASK FOR. I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN. MY JOBS ARE NOT DOING GOOD AND MAGAS ARE NOT PAYING. CAN YOU GET MONEY FROM YOUR MAGA THERE IN CHAD?

ND

And here is another pathetic cry for help from his other friend, CZ (who once again, is actually us).

Quote:

DEAR CZ,
PLEASE CZ I WANT YOU TO CALL THIS PHONE NUMBER PLEASE:235638XXXX
CALL BY 8 IN THE MORNING OR 9IN THE MORNING PLEASE.
BROTHER WANT TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE WE ARE AFRIAD HERE.
THE NUMBER IS THROUGH PLEASE TRY AND CALL IT IS THE NUMBER OF HAMZA.
PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST AND SEND THE MONEY FOR US TO COME BACK BECAUSE WE ARE IN A VERY BAD CONDITION HERE PLEASE.
THANK YOU
OKEY

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 1:45 pm

They need to use up some of their cell time calling the W*U* customer assistance line.
This is from another string entitled Moneygram Customer Service line - now for Western Union too by JenDerbender;

Quote:

And now, due to popular demand, Western Union Secure Services have introduced their new customer service telephone line.

+1 206 984 0987
You can hear it here http://media.putfile.com/Western-Union-Customer-Care-Hotline-Message

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 1:57 pm

TurkeyTrotter wrote:

About 2 thirds of the way down this page Eliza Doolittle prescribes Toothpaste & chili pepper as a treatment for a sensitive area of the male anatomy. Maybe the same ingredients could be suggested to heal The Leg. If there is an open wound then this could cause some severe pain. Laughing

If so, then the remedy should also immediately be applied to the sensitive area as well.

Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 1:59 pm

By the way, he has not responded to Hamdan the murderer. Hamdan is starting to get mad now. Evil or Very Mad

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