Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 2:35 pm

We have also told the lads back in Nigeria that we are kind of being watched by the police so please do not call. And for that matter, don't answer ANY calls from Chad. This could get them in trouble. Basically, they just have to email us on our secure account, rather than phone contact.

Another key point to bring up... whenever Adamu writes back home, he is constantly asking about his mother, best we can tell is that she is sick. Wouldn't it be an absolute shame if something were to happen to her? Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 09 Apr 2008 Posts: 18

rip their hearts out. Cool

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:06 pm

Yeah! This does sound like fun!

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:15 pm

Quote:

Another key point to bring up... whenever Adamu writes back home, he is constantly asking about his mother, best we can tell is that she is sick. Wouldn't it be an absolute shame if something were to happen to her?

Isn't she the one who's dying of cancer & has to offload a vast fortune to good causes before she loses her battle..

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:25 pm

Hehe. No, this is his actual mother who is sick. It would be a shame if she were found dead. Killed while turning tricks.

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:28 pm

Quote:

Basically, they just have to email us on our secure account, rather than phone contact.

So if they fall for all this, what you're saying is they will be completely cut off from outside contact with anyone but Jojobean, Yeawhatever, and the hideous Ronald McDonald PhD guy? God help them.

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:31 pm

^^ Yep. 100% pwned

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:41 pm

Adamu (which is actually us now) just wrote to his friend ND. When ND replies, he will actually be responding to us. Very Happy

Quote:

DEAR NDUBUISI,
THINGS HERE ARE GREART. WE ARE RICH NOW. THE UN MAGA PAID THE $200,000 BILL THAT WE GIVE HIM AND WILL BE PAYING MORE. WE ARE SATYING HERE FOR 2 OR 3 MORE WEEKS. WE MAY NEED YOUR HELP ON THIS JOB LATER OKAY. WE WILL ALL SHARE.
THANK YOU.
OKEY

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:47 pm

Just so everyone knows who ND is, that is a shortened version of the lad's name. The other's name is Chiz0ba. I'm not sure if we should leet/mask that in case he searches for his name ever. Maybe we can call him CZ?

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:49 pm

Too bad 'the leg' never made it to the movie poster contest ... Maybe a good idea to reopen it when this bait ends .. with all the limbs and other body parts that played a part or fell off in the process as a requirement ...

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:52 pm

^^ Too bad for them they haven't met "The Brain" on this trip.

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:53 pm

Do you have any hint that the brother's injuries are at all life threatening*? If so Adamu (well you guys) could conspire with CZ and ND to chop brother's dolla since he's not going to make it anyway. Could make for an even more interesting lad meeting if the friends take on the safari. Brother authentically doesn't know about the 200K, Adamu is just being weird.

*EDIT: My duh, you're in control. You can make them as life-threatening as you want.

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:54 pm

jojobean wrote:

Hehe. No, this is his actual mother who is sick. It would be a shame if she were found dead. Killed while turning tricks.

Or even worse, killed by friends of The Hand. His name is known by our heroes so how about aiming a HUGE bit of suspicion his way and tell stinky boi that his captor has ordered his mum killed. Shocked

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:23 pm

Okay, I will now post a few of my favourites from the writings of Adamu to his brothers (who are played by us). Sorry, I tried to narrow them down but I ended up posting the majority because they are all so funny.

Quote:

DEAR CZ,
HOW ARE YOU AND ND AND OTHERS I HOPE THEY ARE FINE.
PLEASE CZ, I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT WE ARE HAVING SERIOUS PROBLEM HERE IN CHAD. WE CAME HERE TO SIT FOR A JOB IN A PLACE CALL ABECHE IN CHAD.
THAT IS THE SECOND CITY IN CHAD AFTER NDJAMENA THE COUNTRY CAPITAL.
WE HAVE A MAGA FROM UN THAT WANT TO OPEN CHURCH IN NIGERIA (He calls us the maga Rolling Eyes

). HE INVITED US TO COME TO CHAD FOR A SITTING. WE HAVE MEET WITH HIM AND WE GIVE HIM A BILL OF 200,000USD. HE AGREE TO PAY US THAT IS WHY I ASK YOU OF THAT NAME YOU ARE USING IN WU IF IT IS WORKING.
HE CAME TO NDJAMENA AND TOOK US TO ABECHE THAT IS WERE WE ARE NOW.
BUT UNFORTURNATELY ON FRIDAY THE CHAD REBEL ATTACK US WERE WE ARE HAVING A MEETING AND THE MAGA LOSS ONE OF HIS FRIEND WHO WAS WITH US AND HE BROKE HIS LEG. AS GOD MAY HAVE IT WE RUN AWAY INTO THE DESERT AND GUN DID NOT TOUCH US. IT IS ONLY BROTHER THAT FAIL DOWN AND DIS LOCATE HIS LEG. WE ARE SOMEWERE IN CHAD CALL ANDRE AND BROTHER CAN NOT TRACK AGAIN.
WE SAW AN IGBO MAN WHO IS LIVING HERE BUT HE IS A MUSLIM HIS NAME IS HAMZA. WE ASK FOR HELP FROM HIM BUT HE SAY THAT IF WE HAVE ANYBODY FROM NIGERIA WA SHOULD CONTACT HIM BECAUSE HE IS A COW SELLER (That makes me laugh for some reason) AND HE HAS AN ACCOUNT IN MAIDUGURU BORNO STATE. HE SAID THAT IF WE CONTACT ANY OF OUR FAMILY TO SEND MONEY TO US THROUGH HIS ACCOUNT THAT HE WILL PAY US HERE SO THAT WE CAN GO HOME QUICK.
PLEASE CZ, IF YOU CAN SEND TO THAT ACCOUNT OF HAMZA THE SUM OF 40,000 NAIRA FOR OUR TRANSPORTATION WE WILL PAY THE MONEY BECAUSE THE MAGA SEND 3000USD TO US THROUGH MONEY GRAM BUT WE HAVE NOT CASH IT BECAUSE OF THE ATTACK HERE. PLEASE CZ, DO SOMETHING BECAUSE BROTHER LEG IS SWELLING AND HE CAN NOT MOVE.PLEASE CZ DO SOMETHING QUICK SO THAT WE WILL BE BACK HOME IMMEDIATELY ALIVE.
I WILL COLLECT THE ACCOUNT NUMBER OF HAMZA TODAY SO THAT BY TOMORROW I WILL SEND IT TO YOU. PLEASE YOU CAN CALL THE NUMBER I GAVE YOU PLEASE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION AND GOD BLESS YOU.
OKY

Quote:

PLEASE ND I WANT YOU TO ACT QUICK SO THAT I CAN WITHDRAW THE 3000USD BEFORE THE TIME WILL RUN OUT PLEASE. AND I DONT WANT BROTHER LEG TO DAMAGE HERE PLEASE I AM AFRIAD HERE BECAUSE REBEL ARE SHOTTING ANY HOW PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST PLEASE AND RESCURE US FROM HERE PLEASE.
YOU CAN CALL MR HAMZA NOW BECAUSE I AM WITH HIM NOW.
OR YOU CALL AROUND 8AM IN THE MORNING PLEASE LET ME RUSH AND SEE BROTHER WE ARE VERY VERY HUNGRY HERE.
THANK YOU FOR YOU CONCERN AM WAITING FOR YOUR CALL PLEASE.
OKY

Quote:

DEAR CZ,
THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL.
PLEASE THE MAN IS A NIGERIAN AN IGBO MAN FROM ENUGU BUT HE IS A MOSLIM.
HE IS THE ONE HELPING PEOPLE HERE THAT HAVE PROBLEM TO GO HOME. HE IS A COW DEALERS AND HE HAS HIS BANK ACCOUNT IN MAIDUGURI BORNO STATE.
WHEN YOU PAY THE MONEY TO HIS ACCOUNT IN UBN BANK PLC TO THAT ACCOUNT I GAVE TO YOU HE WILL CONFIRM IT AND GIVE US THE MONEY.
PLEASE CZ TRY ALL YOU CAN PLEASE SO THAT WE MAY RUSH HOME IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE BROTHER LEG IS STILL SWELLING AND HE CAN NOT WORK PLEASE DO ALL YOU CAN PLEASE. YOU CAN TRY THE MAN NUMBER AGAIN PLEASE I AM WAITING.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU.
OKY

Quote:

DEAR CZ,
HOW IT HAPPEN IT WAS WHEN WE ARE SITTING FOR THE JOB IN A PLACE CALL ADRE IN CHAD, UNFORTURNATELY THE REBEL THAT IS FIGHTING GOVERNMENT OF CHAD ENTER THE PLACE AND START SHOTTING MANY WOUNDED ARE THE UN OFFICAIL AND THEY FLY BACK TO EUROPE.
IT WAS WHEN WE ARE RUNNING THAT BROTHER BROKE HIS LEG AND WE LOSS ALL OUR THINGS IT IS ONLY THE SHIRT AND TRUSER WE ARE STILL WEARING SINCE THEN. WE DONT HAVE MONEY TO BUY FOOD AND TO TREAT HIS LEG BECAUSE THE LEG IS SWELLING UP BECAUSE THERE IS NO TREATMENT OF THE LEG.
PLEASE CZ,MEET NDUBUISI TOO AND TELL HIM I HAVE MAIL HIM BUT HE HAS NO REPLY TILL NOW (Cue Sound Of Crickets Chirping) PLEASE I DONT WANT ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO US HERE PLEASE TRY SO THAT WE MAYLBE BACK HOME ALIVE PLEASE.
PLEASE TRY THAT NUMBER OF THAT MAN I GAVE YOU ALWAY PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN .

Quote:

WE ARE STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE ANY MEAN OF EATING HERE AND THE LEG IS GETTING BAD BECAUSE OF NON TREATMENT.
PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST YOU AND NDUBUISI CAN SHARE THE MONEY BUT IF HE IS NOT SHOWING UP TO HELP DONT LOOK BACK TO HELP US PLEASE.
I AM SAYING NOW BECAUSE I DONT WANT ANY BAD THING TO HAPPEN HERE. THE EARLY YOU RESPONSE WILL HELP US ALOT PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERNING.
OKY

Quote:

I HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN RECEIVING ALL MY EMAIL. (There are a lot of funny things that these guys have said. But that preceding statement, in my opinion, tops them all.)
PLEASE ND, WE NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE HAMZA TOLD US THIS MORNING THAT YOU CALLED HIM BY 11PM IN THE NIGHT AND HE TOLD YOU TO CALL THIS MORNING.
WE ARE NOT STAYING WITH HIM IN HIS HOUSE. PLEASE I WANT YOU TO HURRY URGENT FOR US BECAUSE I DONT WANT THE SITUATION OF BROTHER TO BE WORSEN HERE PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST. YOU AND CZ CAN SHARE THE MONEY AND SEND TO US PLEASE SO THAT WE CAN COME HOME FOR URGENT TREATMENT OF THE LEG BECAUSE HE IS STILL STAYING ONE PLACE WITH OUT MOVING.
THE WORSE IS THAT WE DONT HAVE MONEY HERE TO TAKE CARE OF IT PLEASE DO SOMETHING I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASE.
I WILL BE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU HAVE SEND THE MONEY , IT IS ONLY ONLY ONE SHIRT AND TROUSER WE ARE WEARING SINCE PLEASE HELP US.
THANK YOU.
OKY

Quote:

THE LEG DID NOT CUT OPEN THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE DONT KNOW IF IT IS BROKEN INSIDE BECAUSE HE CAN NOT USE IT TO WORK AND IT IS SWELLING.
THAT IS WHY WE WANT TO COME HOME QUICK TO CHECK IT BEFORE IT GET DAMAGE.
PLEASE CZ, WE ARE REALLY IN BAD SHAPE HERE BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE MONEY TO BUY FOOD AND IT IS ONLY ONE CLOTH WE ARE WEARING SINCE THEN. WE BEG HERE AND THERE IS NO HELP BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS RUNNING AWAY FOR SAFETY BECAUSE OF GUN SHOT EVERYTIME MORNING AFTERNOON AND NIGHT. OUR LIVES ARE IN DANGER HERE PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST .
FOR THE PHONE NUMBER WE HAVE NO ANYOTHER PERSON HERE TO COLLECT HIS PHONE EXCEPT THE ONE I GAVE YOU.
PLEASE IF YOU DONT GET HIM BUT ONCE YOU SEND THE MONEY YOU TELL ME YOU HAVE SEND THEN MONEY THEN I WILL TELL HIM TO CONFIRM FROM HIS BANK THAT YOU HAVE SEND MONEY TO US.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN AND GOD BLESS YOU.
OKY

Quote:

HOW ARE YOU CZ, I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU SINCE WHY?
I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT WE ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT HERE IN THIS DESERT AREA IN ABECHE CHAD.
THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARE STREDED HERE WE US HAVE LEFT US BECAUSE THEIR RELATION RELATIVE,AND THEIR FATHERAND THEIR MOTHER PAY THERE MONEY THROUGH HAMZA THE MAN I GAVE YOU HIS ACCOUNT TO YOU.
PLEASE CZ, I DONT (want) A SITUATION WERE THE PROBLEM OF BROTHER LEG WILL BE WORSEN OR DAMAGE TOO MUCH THAT IT CAN NOT BE TREATED AGAIN.
PLEASE TRY YOUR BEST POSSIBLE TO SEE THAT WE COME HOME SAFELY.
THANK YOU;

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 5:19 pm

This just gets better and better. They're beyond "streded", they're 2,000 miles up shit creek without a paddle, or a leg. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 5:21 pm

^^^^

They could use the leg as a paddle. Laughing

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 5:29 pm

Once that infection sets in properly, he'll definitely live up to the name of Stinkyboi.

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

This is genuis - classic- I am in awe!

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:59 pm

Ow yikes .. swelling's not good .. it's swell ..

Edit to add: How many limbs does the average lad need to walk from Abeche to Lagos anyway?

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:04 pm

The weather forecast calls for 111 Degrees Fahrenheit tomorrow.

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:05 pm

Isn't Dover nice? He got the boys some lederhosen while he was passing through Germany on his way to Sudan.

Quote:

Hi Adamu,

Man, I cannot believe the heat in these parts. It must be like 100 degrees here. I don't know how people manage to stay alive here. Hey, did you know this? You can't get a decent glass of wine out here. Can you believe that? All of their silly religious laws make alcohol illegal! How stuoid. Did they not realize that Christ turned water into wine? If it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough for me.

These lederhosen that I picked up in Frankfurt are awesome. And since I am not wearing any underwear, the leather feels really interesting. Here is a photo of what they look like. Aren't they snappy? (I am the grumpy looking guy in the middle) I got you and your friend some too. I am not sure what size you are but if they don't fit right, maybe we can exchange them so long as they are not worn too badly or have any skid marks in them or anything.

We will be on our way to Adre shortly from what I am told. I sure hope that they hae better airconditioning there than they do here.

See you soon,

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:09 pm

JoJo, YW & Prof - When, exactly, did your TWAT initiates depart on their pilgrimage? I am thinking that they are now close to the two month anniversary of their sacred undertaking!

Bruin

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:10 pm

^^^^^

April 1st (April Fools Day) is when they landed. Laughing

YW- that email was great. I absolutely love the character we have made Dover. He is such a complainer. If these guys didn't hate Americans before, they sure do now!

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:17 pm

Now and then an April Fool's Day prank gets out of hand.

Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:18 pm

Yeah, oops. Embarassed

Honestly, if we thought he would get the April Fool's thing... we would burn him with that. But I don't think it would come across.

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