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 Another GOAT

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Spear N. Magichelmet
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 86
Location: eating nice puffy rolls full of yeasty goodness


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

There is good news and bad news. The good news is that they have farting goats. The bad news is that I could not get him to use the phrase "Drop the chalupa." I was also unsuccessful with the "heavy petting with young children" phrase.

I am gutted.

My letter:

Quote:
Dear Pastor [email protected]@s:

I am sorry it has taken me so long to write to you, but I was very busy over the Easter holidays. Please tell me, do you have any animals left? I am hoping so, as your email made me very excited.

We run a petting zoo for young children, which they find very educational. Please let me know if you have any of the following animals:

Monkey
Farting Goat
Chalupa (Togo)
Hippogriff
Chupacabra

Someone told me that monkeys do not like chalupas, but I do not know if this is true. You are the expert! Please tell me if you think that we need to drop the chalupa.

We try to watch the children, but sometimes the young ones can be a little rough with the animals. Can you tell me if the monkey gets too excited by heavy petting with young children? Again, you are the expert!

Please let me know these details. If the chalupa and farting goat need to be sent separately, please let me know if there will be an additional charge.

Thank you,
Pi3rce Kn1pl
Director
N3itherpet N0rfolk Animals


His response:

Quote:
Dear P1erce,

Monkey are $950 each, Farting and Mountain goats are $650 each, Chalupas are $250 each,
Hippogriff is $1,900 and only one but Chupacabras we don't have.

Normally, it's not advisable these animals together and the need to be exported seperately in caging containners.

If you're okay with the prices just send your full address with telephone for the invoice in other to speed up the transactions.

Thanks,

Pastor [email protected]@s.


NB: That's one friggin' expensive Taco Bell!

I hope you all don't mind me sending an email to this guy as well. I almost asked for a cthulhu, but thought he might actually know what that was. I figured I could always throw it in after a few amusing emails.

Please be gentle, it's my first time.
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sunshine
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ I think it's a fair bet that if he doesn't know what a hippogriff is you're OK asking for a Cthulu.

You could try asking for a Shub Niggurath and checking to see how many kids it has.

He's very good with pictures is Pastor Goat, make sure he sends a picture of your hippogriff and don't be fobbed off with a still from that Harry Potter movie!

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
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Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5379
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@ SNM

Welcome to the fray that is Pastor Ballsacks Flying Managerie! Laughing

No animal is too exotic, as previous postings in this thread bear testament to, although he doesn't always have everything you want in stock.

This is one stupid and lazy mugu out of his depth and brass neck deep in baiters. Twisted Evil

The good Pastor must be administering to his flock as he doesn't want to speak to me about my latest order for a dozen Turbo Tortoises (with go faster racing stripes) and three French Hens.

_________________
£1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
Closed lad accounts x135 (at 26/9/2008) Easter Egg 2013 Cellphone x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah

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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm trying to get this guy to 100 emails before he twigs. I have 22 with the same order, so far. Very Happy
Quote:
Dear Pasror Balls,

Oh, dear. i'm afraid i already mailed the payment slip at the post
office, to Waycool Ampersand. He must have received it by now. It
was mailed in a green envelope, with pink stripes. I remember that it
did have alot of numbers on it.
How big are these crocodiles? And will they eat my cat?
Regards,
Dana
I can't have them eating my cat. Laughing

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bohigal
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 7227
Location: Epstein's Delicatessen


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

We're up to 34 here. I got him up to this subject line at one point
Quote:
Re: RE: Re: RE: Fw: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: GUINEA SWINE

My second scan of the WU receipt was intercepted by Homeland Security and they are now at TERRCON LEVEL 4 BENIN, whatever that means.

_________________

Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
You will have my nuts in your hands as soon as i have the latrine in my hand & i will pay the goats to the lawyer
My dear with this only, it is clear you have contacted and communicated with Africa Fraudsters and even send funds to him. what a pity!
YOU ARE A WITCH. MAY YOU MENSURATE NON STOP TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser


Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Tommo Shanter wrote:
he doesn't want to speak to me about my latest order for a dozen Turbo Tortoises (with go faster racing stripes) and three French Hens.


Smile

he is lazy, i've told him 3 times i need him to fill out the import form bfore i transfer the funds. to no avail..
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Spear N. Magichelmet
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 86
Location: eating nice puffy rolls full of yeasty goodness


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You guys are amazing! I am in awe.

You're right, of course, that nothing appears too ridiculous to this man. I am thinking about checking on not only a cthulhu, but also a chocolate starfish.

He wants my phone number, oh joy, oh joy.

I love the fact that he has quoted me prices for shipping, and I haven't yet told him where I live. That's one impressive courier service!
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Yousa_Sakashite
Master Baiter


Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 208
Location: Looking in trees for mugus.


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 3:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Past0r [email protected]@ck wants W1llburn to send the money to a bank account. Twisted Evil This is the same one @DH has listed above. Doc, you did send this to Alan correct?
Quote:
Dear Puss3y

Please serious if you really wants this animals.


BANK NAME: SOCIETE GENERALE DE BANQUE AU BENIN
BANK ADDRESS: BOULEVARD ST MICHEL 01 B.P585 COTONOU .
<snipped>

Couple days and I get to slap him

_________________
I AM NOT FORCING YOU TO PAY OR I NEED TO KNWO IS WEALTHER YOU LOVE YOUR LIFE OR NOT SO IF YOU FEEL AND LOVE YOUR LIFE JUST MAKE THE PAYMENT AS I REQUEST YOU TO DO. - "[email protected] Col3" a.k.a. B1lly Fr0st

IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOUR BETTER GO AND MAKE THE SUM OF $8,000 TO THIS ACCOUNT AM GIVEN YOU BEFORE I CHARGE MY MIND.
- St3v3n B0n3 (a.k.a. Fr0sty the [email protected])

LAST WARNING, OR YOU WILL BE NAIL AND ROUTE IN HELL WITH NOTHING BUT WITH MY GUN. - [email protected] B1lly a.k.a. Fr0sty the [email protected]

I want you to go back to the Western Union and collect your money
back, because i dont have any time to play any damn Game.. am not a
moron because i want to receive money from someone are should play
game which kind nonsense is that - V1ctor W1ll1ams after 14 hours of MTCN S3cur3
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grizzly
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 12


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Has anyone spoken to Pastro [email protected]@ck on the tele? He is wanting me to call him now and I don't have the means to do so. If anyone is interested I will pass along the number.
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser


Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i told him i didn't have a telephone and to call my sister.


if you were so inclined, you could post his number to ALL the scam mails you get in your catcher, with a simple note "please call me immediately, i am interested in your offer", but that would be mean.. Smile
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kraftstrom
Master Baiter


Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 107


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He has problems with his internet-connection... :>


Quote:
Sorry we have problem with our internet connection please call me on this number +229-XXXXXXXX.

Thanks
Pastor Ballas

_________________

"You bastards think it’s funny,
Lyin’ and thieving all your life,
Think all there is is money,
Got your future strapped up tight,
Just ‘Cos You Got The Power,
That don’t mean you got the right"

"ONE DAY YOU WILL DIE LIKE ANT!" - Apostle Obinna
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grizzly
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 12


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That email must have come through telegram.
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Spear N. Magichelmet
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 86
Location: eating nice puffy rolls full of yeasty goodness


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Thank you, Pastor, for your prompt reply.

I need to have the purchase approved by the committee before I can proceed. They would like some proof that the animals are in good health. As we cannot travel there directly, can you please provide a photo of one or more of the animals so that we can see this? Please make sure that in the photo we can see both the animal and the sign for the Liv1ng Pr00f W1ldlife C3nter so that we know that you are taking a photo of the actual animal and not just finding one from somewhere else.

As you are a Christian pastor, I believe and trust you, but one of the committee members has asked for this before he will approve the purchase.

Thank you,
P1erce Kn1pl


Quote:
Dear Pi3rce,

Please, you better come down yourself to witness the whole animals and pick them.


Goat safari!
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grizzly
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 12


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
You proof to be a wonder who is in hole that you can't communicate

Specify which port of entry in New Zealand.

May your government improve your communication standard, even we in Africa are OK


Maybe the govt can improve my communication standard!
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser


Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Spear N. Magichelmet wrote:
Please make sure that in the photo we can see both the animal and the sign for the Liv1ng Pr00f W1ldlife C3nter so that we know that you are taking a photo of the actual animal and not just finding one from somewhere else.
!


good luck, i asked for the same, he dropped me. lazy [email protected]@rd!
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big red
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 4
Location: here


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I hope he isnt too stupid to help my friend, hew jess;ll and i, to find a female arctic monkey of breeding age before our male pines to death Sad
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kraftstrom
Master Baiter


Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 107


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

grizzly wrote:
That email must have come through telegram.


He transmitted it by smoke signal Wink
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doc holliday
Squirrels Hate Me


Joined: 06 Feb 2008
Posts: 2471
Location: Behind the Oriental,taking potshots at hitlads.


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Y0usa-yes,it was sent.Just resent it to make certain.I'm still telling him I havn't got my money back from the first acount yet.

_________________
Fuck off, and wait for your death, you fucking dog's eater, I will see this to the end, already, you are a fucking negativity to this world, go to hell after two puuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Jack N0delay,hitlad

You have given me enough stress through the shit you sent to me
Jack the hitlad

What you sent to me is not real, don't you fucking understand simple english, that is not real slip from money gram, I have been using money gram before now, FUCK YOU. IDIOT. PLAY YOUR GAME WELL. MASTER OF ALL PLAYERS
Jack,the hitlad who keeps giving me fresh sig lines

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Yousa_Sakashite
Master Baiter


Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 208
Location: Looking in trees for mugus.


PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Doc. I will string him along for a few more days, then slap him for giving me a bad account.
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My last email to pastor Ballas.
Quote:
Dear Pasror Balls,

Oh, dear. i'm afraid i already mailed the payment slip at the post
office, to Waycool Ampersand. He must have received it by now. It
was mailed in a green envelope, with pink stripes. I remember that it
did have alot of numbers on it.
How big are these crocodiles? And will they eat my cat?
Regards,
Dana
His reply cracked me up!! I think he twigged.... Laughing
Quote:
Dear dana,

Expect your crocodiles in an evelope posted at the Cotonou port and thank you for the payment.

Pastor Ballas
Fuuny guy! Laughing

_________________
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Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5379
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 6:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Received this yesterday. I think the good Pastor Ballsack is getting a bit weary and wary and is keen to talk on the phone with my new character...

Quote:
Sorry we have problem with our internet connection please call me on this number +229-93-92-38-94 if really interested.

Thanks


Quote:

Hello Pastor Ballas.

I got your name from one of my flock who informs me that you supply
certain animals.

I am Father McKenzie, a priest in Blackburn, England. I am looking to
purchase some animals for a ritual slaughter in honour of our patron
saint, St Eleanor Rigby at Christmas Yuletide.

We urgently need three French Hens and a dozen Turbo Tortoises,
especially ones with the go faster stripes on them.My church will pay
good prices for animals with certificates and in good condition.

I hope you are able to accommodate us. God speed and get back to me
soon.

Reverend McKenzie



I don't talk to lads on the phone, but please feel free to ring him your pizza orders or a taxi at strange hours of the day.

_________________
£1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
Closed lad accounts x135 (at 26/9/2008) Easter Egg 2013 Cellphone x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah

pony pony pony Pretty Rose Pretty Rose Pretty Rose Goat
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sunshine
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 6:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ Careful you don't lose those animals down all those holes you have in Blackburn, Lancashire.

He asked me for my phone number. I gave him my baiter mobile but it has remained strangely silent so I don't think he's ringing anyone.

Just hit him with a bunch of forms for the new transfer regulations that came in this week with the new tax year.

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Safari Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
Safari Bola - Accra - Cotonou Safari Alex - Accra - Abidjan Safari Austin - Accra - Abidjan
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I guess I'll keep going, and try to salvage the bait. Very Happy
Quote:
You are really quite a funny man! Imagine, putting crocodiles in an
envelope! hahaha
I'm so glad you got my payment, and you're welcome. So, give me the
details of when i can expect my animals from Kronos Transport. Are
you sure they deliver to the USA? I have never heard of them.
My husband will go @p3s1it when he sees what I have spent our tax
return refund on! Thank you so much for your kind attention.
Dana

Edit: to make it g-rated.

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
Safari Safari Sand Timer (19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
Safari x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
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bohigal
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 7227
Location: Epstein's Delicatessen


PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Homeland Security kept intercepting my WU receipts. Dang!

So I wrote:
Rasta Balls:
I have the money
Whats your bank account number
I'll transfer it there.


He replied with bank account information for me to send Alan. Excellent. Now it's time to send him riding on the [email protected] k train.

Side note: for some reason this lad is really responsive to haiku.

_________________

Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
You will have my nuts in your hands as soon as i have the latrine in my hand & i will pay the goats to the lawyer
My dear with this only, it is clear you have contacted and communicated with Africa Fraudsters and even send funds to him. what a pity!
YOU ARE A WITCH. MAY YOU MENSURATE NON STOP TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE
Golden PithSafari Mortar Tattoo Vcamera Closed lad accountsSand Timer Team Hector:Lagos-Douala,Benin-Liberia,Senegal-Gambia-Mali-Chad, Egypt ,Awka w/ Shorty
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser


Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny


PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 5:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i told him me secretary has the funds and was waiting my approval to make the transfer. before i transfered the $$'s i needed veternarian certificate.


no replies from the good pastor for a few days.



i've noticed over the 3 or 4 times i've messed with him, if i ask for anything (other than an invoice), i get dropped...

you'd think for $15,000+ he'd put in a little work. what a lazy shithead!!
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