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Tuco
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 1098
Location: On a desert safari.
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Posted:
Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:41 pm |
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From my character Watson M0llett to Ahm4du Gi4de, Governor S4nusi's sidekick:
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It seems that you expect me to somehow magically send you $15,000 when $10,000 of it simply doesn't exist yet. Just how am I supposed to do that? If you think that the bank should be willing to wire you $15,000 out of $5,000 available, you are perfectly welcome to go to Helen W4ite about it. |
(Bold italics mine)
Since he is incapable of even spelling his own name consistently, I am sure that he will never grasp any hidden meaning in the pronunciation of the statement. |
_________________ "My broda. i like ur guts it shows u are a full guy." - Williams H0lm
"you should understand my brain problem." - R0se Br0wn
"you are a very ungreatful and wicked person." - Veronica K0ffi
"Thanks for giving me a nauthy number that preys unit like a hungry lion." - Alise Kar1m
"I have called you more than 20 times but non of the calls went through." - Williams C0ker
"I've said in my previous mail that I do not understand English." - Cabinet Bad0u
"PLEASE MY CHAIRMAN, I AM NOT GREEDY, I LIKE TO WORK WITH YOU, I HAVE LOST MANY OF MY JOBS , PLS PLS PLS, I WILL WORK HARD WITH U." - Dr. Lui$ James
"There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend."
x8 (Thanks Corona) |
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Jack Pump
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 79
Location: Central Texas, USA
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Posted:
Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:48 pm |
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Somebody sent me something in French. I don't speak French, I barely speak English, so I just took random words from her letter and started my own -
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Chers,
Votre nom vous cinq avec somme survivant ou les sont riches veux. Obtenir moi suis seul mort dans. Examiner plus pour inci en durement banque complet Recemment zakpa travalle pendant docteur besoin evvoyer personnes que argent besoin. J'ai je suis bienfaisance organismes gagne a etre que je n'ai moi pour. Hopital dans I'annee pere a depose une ici cinq moi mort.
Identifiants,
P.S. I don't speak French, do you speak English?
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She actually replied.... |
_________________ Leave the gun
Take the cannoli |
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rootuser
Elite Baiter
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 1632
Location: Right behind you
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Posted:
Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:02 pm |
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Well, it's not so much what I wrote, but what I sent.
The bank, as always, asked for some documents, so I asked my brandnew girlfriend for them. She sent the two documents and two photos of herself.
So I forwarded the mail, but I made a big mistake. Instead of taking out the photos of her and sending the documents I removed the documents and sent her photos.
Well, now let's see what happens. I hope the lad won't just pretend that I sent the actual documents... |
_________________ "..., if it not the destiny has reduced us together, then who?"
"may u die tomorrow in jesus name"
"The devil has eaten away your soul as you will decay in the hail fire, so go and die with your dyning devil hopless devil advocate."
"This is what i sent to them am not with any money to go back to nigeria pls help."
(0.25 go to fake_buster)
x4 Wole A.: Akure, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, Akure, Nigeria to Tanguieta, Benin (both with Thomas-the-Tank and Simba), Akure, Nigeria to Kano, Nigeria (with TtT and OD), Akure, Nigeria to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire (with TtT)
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Dr. Thaddeus Venture
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 15 May 2009
Posts: 54
Location: On the Interweb
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Posted:
Fri Jul 10, 2009 2:42 am |
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Quote: |
Try the reference number I gave you. I am almost 80% sure that is the number. |
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_________________ Is it a devil spirit's power?
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:36 pm |
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I needed a bit of a break from my usual baiting style, and decided to do some heavy chopping by Mr. G0m3r. I chopped on the first response to the original scam, then got this back from the lad:
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blah..blah..blahh..A lot of internet fraud is all over the places which I believe must have been
the reason why you have not been able to receive your payment, as you
must have been dealing with wrong people. Fraudulent activities, internet
spammers and impostors are very common over the internet lately these
days.Please forward to me all the you documents you must receiving from
the impostors for further verifications.
Meanwhile, I want you to purge your mind of the feeling that this might be
a scam, because it is not. Ok. I can never be involved in scam. I promised that
you will never regret doing business with me. We are not asking for a cent to
do all this for you, but this government wants to prove to you that not all
Nigerians are not crooks, fakes and fraudsters, as it seems to be.Rather,
majority of us are responsible, reliable and God fearing human beings,
people of high moral and integrity. blah..blahh.. |
My character replied:
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Dear Rev. Dr. David C,
I have spoken on the phone to Mr. G, your new boss, and he has assured
me that internet imposters and fraudstars cannot fool him. That's why he sacked
Mr Jacob M Ajekigb3, as he was embezzling bank profit accounts, according to Mr.
G, the new Chairman of your bank.
He said he is the infallible Chairman, who looks out for Nigeria and everyone
doing business there, to protect them from internet thieves and spammers.
You have no need to worry when Mr. G is calling the shots, Dr. C.
We can trust him. You are lucky to have such a great man at the helm of your
bank. He is definitely no common street thawth vergabon like that awful Mr.
Aj3kigb3 turned out to be. My mind is purged of feeling knowing that crooks
and fakes will not fondle my long overdue funds that are now bathed in high
moral and integrity slurry lotions of safety.
I have already sent my informativity details to Mr. G, Dr. C, so I see
no reason to repeat myself to repeat myself. Why don't you step into your
boss' office next door and ask him for a copy? I'm looking forward to the
receipt of my funds, and tell Mr. G, "Hello!" for me when you see him
later today. I'm gathering my money together in order to send the next
payment. Possibly by next Friday I will be able to send you another bank
to bank transfer payment to your bank.
Have a wonderful day.
Warmest Regards.
Ewusnut B. |
I can't wait to see the response to this one. And if he doesn't respond, at least I got to put Yastreb's siggy quote into an email to a lad. |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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El Nombre
419Eater is my life
Joined: 06 Jun 2009
Posts: 375
Location: slapping the nearest lad with a spoon
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Posted:
Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:51 pm |
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havening not sent a reply to one of my lads for about 3 days now, he was getting worried, unfortunately, i had suffered an accident with a piano crushing my fingers recently, to calm his fears that i'd dropped him, i said this about my absense
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I am so sorry, it seems the damage from the piano incident was worse than i feared, it seems it fried a neove connected to m brain leaving me with a terrible attention span the length of a... wait... what was i on about again??? How long till i get that money??? |
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_________________ - - -
5 piggys, a flag a pyri and 2 shiny phones < the grand haul of my first run
Round Two... FIGHT! -
The new collection
Round 3: Back for more!
"you are really a very disappointment to ladyhood" - michael agyekum boateng (standard AFF lad)
"my fetish man is ever ready to strike you deadly if only i give him the final go ahead." - the same Michael as above |
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El Sid
419Eater is my life
Joined: 17 Apr 2009
Posts: 351
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Posted:
Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:02 pm |
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One of my favourate quotes to use:
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Please, what further information is it that you need from me? I can confirm the details below are accurate enough. |
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_________________ x 8
http:// mar mighty industries. webs. com/ (leave your baiter/catcher address in the guestbook)
Martin Shen: "I am convinced that you will not betray me immediately.."
Mansa Musa Kamara: "...you resemble the son a one pussy sucker and I think my guess is right. Yes, your name is bastard...the problem now is that no one knows if the gods will accept your blood for a sacrifice. Bastard you are and bastard will you remain..."
S0L0M0N Bo@tang: "Thanks for your response. The content is painstakingly understood." - yeahh lad-pain!! |
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Cap419kicker
Ye Olde Privy Smythe
Joined: 13 Jan 2007
Posts: 361
Location: Pushing truck selling Obama shirts on Ring Road Lagos
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Posted:
Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:18 am |
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I have an auto responder on one of my catchers, trying to populate this dodgy form into lad land.
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From the desk of Barrister Harold Long Johnson
Opebi Rd, Lagos Nigeria
Greetings of the Season,
Call me Barrister Harold Long Johnson. My chambers has intercoursed with a client, Dr. Mike Hunt. The Doctor was on research project with Rechtal Exploratory Oil of Nigeria when the doctor found a large load of oil ejaculate from the phallus of the ground. The company took solicitations and turned a profit of 2 million dollars from this insertion. This kind of profit is secret, and was hidden until we found your name from the local rhetorical society in your town.
Therefore, my love, I ask that you copulate the notion of helping us fondle these founds into your personal private possession. Please, consider this prostitution as we can satisfy our indulgences together in the stream of ecstasy known as wealth. We will pay you 20% of this money for your help.
Coitially Yours,
Barr Harold Long Johnson on top of Mike Hunt.
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_________________ FACTA NON VERBA!
"You must take you antiques somewhere else if you are fake"-Patrick Zuma
"FACK YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER"--robert_baasi
"Your information is safe with me and will not be used anonymously"-- Dal Cal� Maccio
"you are as useless as your e-mail sound. bingo like." ---Zinriszal Bin Selamat
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Wed Jul 22, 2009 3:11 am |
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Cammy got an ID card from a somewhat... homely Lad, and had to tell him:
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... I wish you hadn't sent me that ID card - you're very ugly and that's one thing that as a devout Freyjan I have to avoid. |
Supplemental - I had bad news for another Lad after I got his passport:
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Something else - and I have to be honest about this, as required by my religion - but I have to say that you're quite ugly. As a devout follower of Freyja, and one who's stood for the Goddess on many a Freyja's Day, that's something I can't associate with. Do you know someone better-looking who could act for you when you come to Australia? |
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_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:49 pm |
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A couple of odd answers went out in the last few minutes.
To I0rd4ne Pkh4k4dze, "an engineer and a citizen of Georgia who works in an oil corporation in Kuwait..." Mal wrote:
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Are you a Birmingham boy, or somewhere not so downbeat? |
Then a Banker Lad wrote about "a KTT programme-Transfer"; Mal wrote:
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BTW - what has KITT got to do with this? I ain't Michael Knight! |
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_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Seven of Nine
Baiting Guru
Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Posts: 2147
Location: Somewhere in time.
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Posted:
Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:06 am |
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Quote: |
My apologies for a late response but my pet cat was recently euthanised. He was a constant companion for many years but the last few months of his life were terrible due to his cancer sickness which defiled all medical treatment. |
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Please excuse my delayed contact with you but recently I was injured while playing a game of golf with a group of friends. I was struck between the first and second hole by a couple of stray balls early in the round. Consequently, I have spent the last few days off work recuperating and have now returned. I have a busy couple of days ahead of me, catching up on what I could not do whilst I was away. |
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_________________ x7 x27 x2 x2
100% risky free donation modality |
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Black Dog
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Posts: 651
Location: 100% AUSSIE
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Posted:
Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:08 pm |
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i have been sending a few lads a reply like this:
hey there
thanks for this opportunity, i am very interested
just curious as to how you found my email address
did you get it from the list at http://www.sourmath.com?
thanks and look forward to hearing from you again soon
Hugh G Rection
*** NSFW *** DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK IF YOU ARE AT WORK OR IF KIDS ARE AROUND***
*** TO GET IT OFF SCREEN IF YOU DO CLICK IT JUST HOLD: CTRL ALT DEL AND WHEN A WINDOW COMES UP JUST CLICK "END TASK"***
it would get the attention of the whole internet cafe if a lad clicked it
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thud419
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3193
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Posted:
Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:04 pm |
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Quote: |
teh monigram papar sais
Numer: 482293226
Nam: Hólmfríður Karlsdóttir
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Good luck finding those letters, mugu.
I wonder if he'll first complain about the odd letters, or the fact that there are nine digits. (Silly me, the double 2 is just a single 2.) |
_________________ Click here to feel warm and cozy.
I did not f**k your wife in any way -- Nike Akanbi
I don't know what else to do or do I continue filling and filling forms. -- Barr. Koloti
you has been dribbling me up and down but I will show some thing you have never seen before, I think you breath air wait and see. -- Barr. Cole
x14
x 0.25 won from Reaper in a sucker's bet
x8 x several |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:47 am |
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A Lad tried to sell Captain Mal on an ATM card. Mal wasn't impressed:
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I think you must have been out to lunch if you thought you could send the money to my ATM account. We have to think of something else. |
The Lad was affronted:
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I don't really understand what you are trying to insinuate because I am a Banker and Businessman and I would like for you to understand that the funds can be transfer to ATM card without any impossiblity because this is something we do in our system everytime. |
Mal was dismissive and slightly alliterative:
Quote: |
I'm not insinuating anything and your status as a Businessman, Banker and even Bottlewasher doesn't mean a gorram thing to me. I merely thought that sending the money to my ATM account was the dumbest idea since Dubya, Dick and Donald got drunk one night and decided to invade Iraq. |
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_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Nosmo King
Master Baiter
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
Posts: 113
Location: Bible Belt Buckle
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Posted:
Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:44 am |
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They don't seem to get it or even read some of these replies
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My crapulent privy member, |
This is to a lad who is in the Ivory Coast, so maybe it doesn't translate well
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I would pray that my very scrotal regions would shrivel and wither before I shall assent to to another pitiful pleading from your prevaricating pie hole. |
And after I had the 53cur3 5h3ild log in is "too difficult" whining
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Rest assured that you won't get that MTCN even if ten pound weasels crawl into my anus and chew my gall bladder into pastrami. |
I tried to wash these thru the English to French translator but I think he took it as sympathy. |
_________________ but if you cant pay it please stop writing to me Buster the Hitperson
Thank you for precipitation with which you have forward to us the scanning copy of the receipt of Money Gram, ***because the scannage was fuzzy.
stop this you sick and hide game, it is getting too much D0n Dav1de Carl0s
x5 <a href="/forum/donate.php">[100% Risky free offer!]</a> |
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El Nombre
419Eater is my life
Joined: 06 Jun 2009
Posts: 375
Location: slapping the nearest lad with a spoon
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Posted:
Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:21 pm |
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usual "send money through Western Union carp, i swcanned and only saw "Western Union" so i asked
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I'm confused, What is this western union, and how do you plan to use it to send me the trunk boxes? |
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_________________ - - -
5 piggys, a flag a pyri and 2 shiny phones < the grand haul of my first run
Round Two... FIGHT! -
The new collection
Round 3: Back for more!
"you are really a very disappointment to ladyhood" - michael agyekum boateng (standard AFF lad)
"my fetish man is ever ready to strike you deadly if only i give him the final go ahead." - the same Michael as above |
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firehouse5
Palm Wino Aficionado
Joined: 09 Mar 2004
Posts: 4953
Location: swimming in Ogogoro
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Posted:
Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:59 pm |
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I decided I wanted to leave the door open for some future toilet humour, so I sent this to a couple of my current lads.
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please acept my apologise, today have injure my bottom and can not sit down for computer. so I may be delay in reply, |
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_________________ Has a scammer sent you a bank account? please report it to any moderator using the private message function.
GO PREMIUM!
Oct2004-Oct2016 12 years but Cheat alert: many silent months!
dozens Not as many piggies as you.
The details you sent do not match, check your records and reply immediate. I have forced to wait in office for two hours with out eating |
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:54 pm |
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Bolleboos
Elite Baiter
Joined: 07 Sep 2009
Posts: 1000
Location: Paises Bajos
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Posted:
Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:53 pm |
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Quote: |
Hola señor Nxxxn,
Me llamo Txxxx. Estoy muy gustado encontrar te.
Mi español no es tan bueno, pero estoy aprendiendo, y creo que esto es una buena opportunidad para mejorar mi español escrito.
Gracias, |
Quote: |
Hola otra vez, señor!
Muchas gracias por enviar me tu mensaje. Voy a traducir lo con mi diccionario y cuando tengo mas preguntas, voy a enviar te mi respuesta muy pronto.
Gracias |
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