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 Goofy stuff that YOU wrote

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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Somehow a Lad selling scam holidays got mixed up in my Lotto Lad baiting, so I started sending him random replies like

Quote:
Dear Sir

Your comments are voluminous and engagingly precipitative and am much encouraged by cordial encouragement and therefore look forward to an umbilical transfusion.

If you require any further guidance please do not hesitate to contact me.

Best Regards


.... and still he's hanging in doggedly. Now I'm trying to find out what he's trying to sell me, and he's having trouble remembering. Laughing

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Dramaqueen
Juan's stalker


Joined: 28 Aug 2008
Posts: 1424


PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@GomerPyle you just make my day.

Im always smiling at your antics.

Love your stuff Laughing

_________________
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Proud member of "The Todger Club"
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"you are causin me much frustration" Frustrated lad...
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"if not i will fall off from a cliff and God will kick your bud for murdering " Diamond Mo
" shot the fuck up you silly irrational bitch" V1ctor
"they make jest of me cus they tthink i am waisting my time and money talking to you" Ted
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Tyr Yuanoowon
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 24 Nov 2008
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
My associate and manager Mr. 0m4ne Ned04r contacted me to arrange a deal with you and whoever you are working with regarding the money you contacted us about.

Mr. Ned04r is the current CEO of NED04R BIOTECHNOLOGY INC, as well as the King of Rome/Romania.


My 10 or so baits had this in one of the first few e-mails, depending. Nobody has ever seemed to notice. You can make some pretty outlandish claims to these scammers.

_________________
Quote:
my purpose is to established poverty recovering charity center in my location and also Build worthless Babies -the Honorable Barrister Donald

U SACK OF WINE-western western


Closed lad accounts x7
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writeon
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 986
Location: SATA


PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A lad enquiring about my well being got this as part of my reply:

Quote:
i am doing very well despite the vely harsh econmoics climax.

_________________
Safari F4m0h, Owerri to Ivory Coast {Joint bait with SP}

"MY FINANCE DEPARTMENT TOLD'S ME TODAY THAT THE WESTERN UNION FORM YOU SENT WAS NOT VALID AND ELUCID" - Dr Frank Johnson

THERE IS A MURDER CASE WHICH I ENGAGE MY SELF INTO TO MAKE SURE THE CLIENT IS NOT KILLED BY HANGING, BUT I THANK GOD TODAY THAT THE CLIENT SUCIDED IN GOING TO JAIL INSTEAD OF HANGING TO DEATH,THAT IS THE REASON WHY I DIDN,T GET BACK TO YOU SOON. - Mohammed Traore

PLEASE HELP ME BECAUSE AM BURNING I MEAN I AM IN BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE RED SEA PLEASE. - Ruth
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15025
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 9:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I couldn't resist adding a tiny touch of RL into one of Cammy's replies... though it's a long way from what actually took place...

Quote:
Actually on Saturday AJ had Sonja and me dress up as sea-nymphs at the beach... and cavort in the shallows, before AJ set up the remote system and pretended to be a man we'd seduced with our faerie magic. It was very sexy and we had a lot of fun once the session was over. AJ loves threesomes and so do I. He and Sonja are so hot!


Cammy can be quite wanton sometimes, despite what she said to Mel1nda a while back.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 183
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naivelillette
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 23 Dec 2008
Posts: 7
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow, Arkansas


PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, My Favorite thing to do with my Lads, is I call them all Bob, and they never correct me. It gets rather amusing. I also Like to tell them that women over here in "America" do not like to be called wife but mistress. Which becomes hilarious when they try to scam someone else. My favorite though is in my sig. I told my lass that I had began working in a nuclear power plant , and had began glowing while in the dark. I asked her if this was a bad thing and she replied no.... Haha, It was funny....at least to me Smile

_________________
My first lass I got a hold of was quite stubborn. In fact I told her in one email I was begining to glow in the dark and asked if it was a bad thing the response i got was priceless "My Dear,
I have just received your email with lot's of excitement,according to what you said i do not think is a bad thing"-Pamela"Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters allot in life."-CHIDI Closed lad accounts
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crazymadjo
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 24 Dec 2008
Posts: 7
Location: Texas


PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm a fan of magician/skeptics Penn & Teller, and have been enjoying sticking random quotes from their obscure movie into my e-mails.

Examples:
Quote:
"We live in a Godless universe, full of pain."

"... their faces all bloated like the inside of a pork sausage after you inject it with water from a hypodermic needle, all full of bourgeois loyalty."

and my favorite:

"Just another example of the pig power structure throwing worthless trinkets to the proletariat."


My poor lad is so confused! Laughing
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sir scam alot
Doesn't share his goats


Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 5076
Location: Louisiana


PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 5:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I have begun telling my lads who build Monuments of Faith that the size of their pyramid represents the size of their penis. The bigger the monument, the bigger their member is. Let's see if we get that one lad whose vanity outweighs his laziness. Laughing

_________________
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Safari2 = Harrison: Owerri, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin and Accra, Ghana "i know ive been a sucker for twat "
Safari = (Group safari) Oy3nka Ch1dinma: Lagos to Cotonou: "Thank you so much for the embrassment."
Safari = Group safari - Dan Nkwerre: Port Harcourt to Abeche, Chad
Safari2 = Barr. Mustapha Marlick: Lome, Togo to Abuja Nigeria and Accra, Ghana.
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15025
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I hope it's OK to necro one's own thread...

When General 3p1phan (naturally redubbed 3p1phany) told Cammy that some scammers had been arrested, her response was slightly callous...

Quote:
Those crims are going to be tried, right? Or do you just take them out behind the shed and drill their spines with a pair of nine-mils?

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 183
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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doc holliday
Squirrels Hate Me


Joined: 06 Feb 2008
Posts: 2459
Location: Behind the Oriental,taking potshots at hitlads.


PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Fishheads,my brown sodium free universal.Standard hotline hybird basic jasper triangle!
Thanks,George

I was testing out the theory that lads never actually read the first mail back.The words were taken from various posters,notepads,etc on my desk at work.Yes,the lad did get back to me.

_________________
Fuck off, and wait for your death, you fucking dog's eater, I will see this to the end, already, you are a fucking negativity to this world, go to hell after two puuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Jack N0delay,hitlad

You have given me enough stress through the shit you sent to me
Jack the hitlad

What you sent to me is not real, don't you fucking understand simple english, that is not real slip from money gram, I have been using money gram before now, FUCK YOU. IDIOT. PLAY YOUR GAME WELL. MASTER OF ALL PLAYERS
Jack,the hitlad who keeps giving me fresh sig lines

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15025
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Being told to contact Mr. at the Central Bank in Benin was too tempting...

Quote:
I'll contact Mr Camara and see if he can put me in the picture.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 183
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Nurse Nasty
Eloquent Noob


Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 7255
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski


PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Lad attempted using Fedex to scam me. I asked him to send me a picture of my package and today's date and time written on a plain white card. He failed. I sent him on a wild goose chase and eventually he was chopped. He snapped.

The next day he sends me his fraud recovery format from Western Union with fake WU information, he was using the same Fedex email account. I decide to blast him.

Quote:
Amazingly this 'transfer' is not registered, and has been deemed 'fake' by Western Union. I have forwarded your details to Western Union who have logged this transfer and name as suspicious. They have informed me that this transaction is faked by known scam artists. May I suggest you go fuck yourself with a shovel, then throw yourself into a sack and pay several men to beat you with large sticks. I will gladly pay to see that happen.

Also, when you contacted me as 'Fedex' I believe I told you go do the the same thing.


His response:

Quote:
please what is a shovel


What a waste of abuse. Rolling Eyes

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Kokomeister
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Sep 2008
Posts: 3002
Location: Wandering around the world with a sense of adventure!


PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Ok, our security code will be "Koko de onara shitemo ii desu ka? (Is it ok to fart here in Japanese)


Quote:
Dear [email protected] Gn4nz1,

I apologize for not responding sooner as the due date for my baby was
December 6th and the baby has still not been delivered. I'm still in
the hospital and hopefully I'll be able to come back home soon. I
still haven't heard from Charles Baiden, I was waiting for him to
contact me before contacting you but still nothing. Contact him at
once and have him email me. I'm sorry to hear that you've fallen ill
from the toxic waste dump. Get well soon.

Sincerely,

B3ll4 C6ll3n

_________________
red head gangster (Emma the Tropical Herbalist)
YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY LIFE ADVENTURE (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE SUCH A BIG SICKNESS THAT STEP ON ME! (Joel Desire)
YOU ARE TOO SMALL, GO AHEAD WITH WHATEVER YOU THINK OR IMAGINED THAT YOU CAN DO TO ME, ONCE YOU TRY ONCE YOU WILL DIE HARD. YOU BETTER DON'T TRY ME AT ALL YOU FOOL- Mariam Abacha (6 months)
<a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=232044">[Current ongoing bait]</a>
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Closed lad accounts x17 Goat Easter Egg 2011 Nigeria
Safari Auntie Tina- Lagos-Parakou-Tanguieta-Niamey-Tera-Mallanville-Lagos "well the story you read in children's fairytale story book when you are young is not the same as what is happing now."
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TickleYerAssWiFeather
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Posts: 69


PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How do I know that you are who you say you are for if I am not certain that you are who you say you are this raises doubts in my mind that you are who you really said you are and I want to know who you are so that I can send you the money.

Comprehende?

As they say, if the camel has no hump, who will lead him to water? A proverb I think you could learn from.

Question

WTF? Laughing
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TickleYerAssWiFeather
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Posts: 69


PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

CLASSIC! Laughing

Quote:
please what is a shovel
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agentbaiter
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 22 Feb 2009
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A reply i got today from a romance bait im in. The lad initially wanted me to be the beneficiary for the massive amount of money in the dead fathers bank account.

This is until i homed in on the fact that she was in a refugee camp and wanted to send her lotsa money so she could be comfortable. This is what she wants to do with my $5000

Quote:
I will buy myself good food for my brake fast and launch


She sent me this aswell

Quote:
Darling when i finally arrive your country,I am going to make you happy,I will cook your food,I will wash all your clothes,Cleans the house and keep every where clean all the time,I will warm your bed and do to you anything that will make you feel happy.Darling i am waiting here to received the money from you,When i received the money,First i will asked Reverend father to take me to market where i can buy myself good under wears and some fine clothes after that i will snap another pictures and send to you.


I was in quite a sexist mood this morning so replied. Apologies no offense meant.

Quote:
I look forward to meeting you in person, watching you wash my pots, cleaning the cooker, cooking my food. Do you have small feet? If you do that would be great, you will be able to stand very close to the cooker and the sink. I would not require you to warm my bed as i have an electric blanket but you would be more than welcome to sleep with me.
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Canadian419
419Eater is my life


Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Posts: 330
Location: Get to the Chopper!


PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Hello Vera,

How are you? I hope everything is good. I love traveling, and I also eat 700 Banana's a day...wierd eh? I thought it was a strange habit. But anyhow, I would like to see more pictures of you. I have included a picture of me.

Regards,

Carlos

My picture was a picture of Lance Henrikson (from the show Millenium 1996)
Her Reply,

Quote:
Hello, my darling Carlos!
First of all I’d like to thank you for your letter. I was so pleased
to get it! Because all your letters are really important for me.
Honey, I think it's a good time for you to know about my previous
relations. I can’t promise to speak about it with some very pleasant
feelings, but I’ll tell if you are interested.
I had relations with a boyfriend during enough long period of time
(about two years). Relations – is a very important and serious
topic for me. My parents taught me to have serious attitude to
relations, not to have sexual relations before wedding, before
boyfriend becomes my husband. And everything was quite ok with my
previous boyfriend till the moment when he wanted something more
(concerning sexual relations). All in all I’d like to tell you,
that maybe the majority of men in my city and in my country have
the same attitude for relations, such…not serious, you know. Now,
weighing everything passed, I don’t think it was love, but I’m not
sorry for the lost time. Generally, for my mind, people shouldn’t
be sorry for what is passed. Because nobody can return to the past
and change something as he would like. And what do you think about it,
Carlos? Do you agree with me?
Did you have such experience as mine with previous relations? And what
do you think about my situation? I’m very interested in your future
answer!
Take care, my dearest Carlos,
Your Vera


She begins to be back on script, so I begin hilarity.

Quote:
Hello Vera,

Yes, I've had hundreds, possibly thousands of sexual partners. I was involved in the adult industry for about 15 years. My heart was broken by my favourite donkey, I was busy giving him all he ever wanted when he kicked me in the leg and it swelled to ungodly porportions. It was then I realized I should just stick to normal pornography. Well, goodbye for now. Please send me more pictures.

Regards,

Carlos

_________________
"Has gone on member a condom ???! You of a bough plant me brains powder with the ???!" - Ekatrina
"IF YOU DONT THEN HELL AWAIT YOU." - Bala Hassan

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15025
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 12:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

OMG you guys haven't been goofy lately, come on...

One Lad claims to be in Texas. I couldn't resist:

Quote:
Hell, you've never been outside Texas then have you? But then only steers and queers come from Texas, as my Gunny used to say!

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 183
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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bohigal
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 7227
Location: Epstein's Delicatessen


PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 2:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ok Yastreb I'll bite. This is for a lad who has animals for adoption.
Quote:
Iknow this becos it happened to Bruce, he lost a komodo dragon because the shipper did not complete the CITES and he had to sue the shipper because when the crate got to Bruces house the lizard was all dry an d shriveled up like a nun's tit and he had to make a shoe out of it

_________________

Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
You will have my nuts in your hands as soon as i have the latrine in my hand & i will pay the goats to the lawyer
My dear with this only, it is clear you have contacted and communicated with Africa Fraudsters and even send funds to him. what a pity!
YOU ARE A WITCH. MAY YOU MENSURATE NON STOP TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE
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Nailgunner
Moderator


Joined: 01 May 2008
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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 10:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

well, apart from the usual "ur mama toto" etc, one lad i had responded particularly badly to "huligan go rape ur mama, cut off ur fatha head". He also objected to "congo atrocitie go fall for ur head!" and "shrine dey tek ur bodie, mek ur head for fetish, tek ur prick 4 juju!" The last one especially. he really didn't like that one.

^^ Bohigal: ROFL. amazing Very Happy

_________________
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"I still have your name tattoo on me. No woman want me because of this"
"Baster ScamBaiter like you. just leave me alone, and delete my email from you least"
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Jasper
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Posts: 327


PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2009 10:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My current love lad asked me or a photo, so he could see what I look like (of course). I responded with:

"You want a photo of me? That is impossible! I have never had one taken. I never will! Do you not know that if my photo is taken, the camera will steal my soul?!?!" Shocked

He was fine with my fear of cameras. He recently mentioned again he would like to see what I look like. I did tell him I could have a portrait drawn of me. Perhaps a lovely stick figure will satisfy his curiosity?

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blah
Who's Your Daddy?


Joined: 03 Dec 2008
Posts: 1775
Location: Speckled Cct Springfield Lakes QLD 4300


PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2009 10:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^

Only if you draw a giant penis on the stick figure though.
See what your lad thinks of that!

_________________
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With all due respect. you nothing but a cheap scum.idoit and heartless man!! - Turkey Smith
please daddy don't lunch your powers on Mr.alex! - my "son".
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M7CN [email protected]= How dear you make me go thru such stress.. - [email protected] West

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Cathy2008
Master Baiter


Joined: 07 Oct 2008
Posts: 200
Location: UK


PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2009 11:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Needed to make my girlie feel ill

"I had a hyperbolic attack today" (I couldn't spell hyperglaecaemic)

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B8er
boomdazzler


Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 12359
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PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Here's a couple that my Reverands use.

Rev #1 signs of his emails with

Quote:
May the Lord's shaft fill your passage with its presence


Rev #2 explaining the Church's charitable work

Quote:
On a local basis we run a support network for young single mothers. I myself am personally responsible for the children of a number of young women.


On the Church's website, the same Rev is described as being interested in "the fertilization of teenage girls" and his motto is "make them fresh but legal"

_________________
verry soon you obituary will be anoused. you dont know those guys are mafians and they are now after you . mumu. rest in peace
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15025
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Where are the goofy baiters?

Cammy wasn't being goofy, just profane, but I have to share...

After a bounce-back from a reply to a Lad lawyer, Cammy complained, and the banker Lad replied smugly:

Quote:
If you start laying at this early stage of the transaction, I wonder what you will do with J03ffrey and his money if the money is transferred to you.

You said the attorney email dose not work, when he just replied us through the same you said doesn’t work to inform us about your communication with him.


Now Cammy has a short temper at the best of times, but never, NEVER call her a liar...

Quote:
In a very few minutes I am going to forward the error message I got when I sent a reply to your lawyer. Then you can shove your customer service up your fat fucking ass! No-one calls me a liar and gets away with it, DO YOU HEAR ME?


And she did so, with above the error message a massive 36 point (not bowdlerised in the original)

Quote:
NOW @#$%ING WELL APOLOGISE!!

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
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