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 Goofy stuff that YOU wrote

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15075
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 12:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My Lad wrote:

Quote:
i like you to send me your direct number so that i can call you for an oral talk for us to proceed without any more delay


Cammy White gave a - well, different reply:

Quote:
So no oral talks - I'm sorry about that. I like giving oral, but not from this far away... ; )

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
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packman
Aye Spel Betterrer


Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 1498
Location: In his own little world but it's ok, they know him there.


PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 12:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Shocked from that far away that would be a good trick

_________________
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The receipt you send is totally invisible ok-Kelly

FUCK YOU SMALL BOI YOU ARE POOR IN HEAD AND SOUL
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ronco
419Eater is my life


Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 265
Location: In strong opposition to sterilization laws


PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2008 6:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ongoing bait was getting boring so I blasted him with all the adult words I could think of, but I ended with something that made me chuckle...

Quote:
You're a fruit fly


and ended it as always,

Quote:
Warmest Regards, Noah

_________________
"Once beaten,Twice Shy" - [email protected] Bruc3

"JUST COME OUT STRAIGHT AND STOP BEATING BY THE BUSH, I KNOW $8000 IS A LOT OF MONEY" - Kelly-The famous zebra scammer Easter Egg 2012
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Corona
Eater's sweetheart


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8644
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 3:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
My husband left me for another (younger) woman. But he pay me out the ying-yang, if ya know what I mean.

Wink

_________________
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CowboyBuck
Elite Baiter


Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 1078
Location: Riding the Western Union Trail


PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2008 9:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I wrote to my lad:

Quote:
What is a "demurrage" that the trunk will attract?

Is that some kind of animal?


His reply:

Quote:
Is this a joke or something? From all indications it seems you not
serious or you feel its all a childsplay. Demurrage are extra fees
that may be incured should there be a delay.This are all what i am
trying to avoid.


My groveling response, is my nose brown enough, sir

Quote:
You said that the trunk could attract demurrage.

Since I do not know what that is, I had to ask you, as you
are wiser and more knowledable about things in your part of
the world than I am.

I am sorry if my question offended you.

You made "demurrage" sound like some kind of mold or animal pest,
and I was wondering what was in the trunks that would attract
these things.

_________________
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Closed lad accounts A few more
United States United Nations
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Right now I am getting pissed with your responses
And still you later claimed there are snakes on the road to the Western Union
Please for the sake of humanity help Mr. Felix and I to get this money
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smartbomb
** Retired **


Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 750
Location: Air


PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A standard initial reply these days -

Quote:
Good Mong !

Tis muckle champion that you hath selected yours truly to tek this one on the chin. Yor offer sounds canny mind and no mistake. Here, am nee business man or nowt like that, but am reet honest. Git more details an chuck them awa to me an al have a gander.

Keep A'Had

baiter name

_________________
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pony Mortar x7 Closed lad accounts a few
Click Here for Free Wigs !

i am no more a baby for going through this kind of stress for 200 pounds. : Hammed - Another satisfied MT7N S3cur3 customer.
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drkdglr
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 7


PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2008 4:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I didn't do this one in the course of baiting, my garage door quit working, trapping my car in the garage. I proceeded to start fixing it, get angry, get drunk and post this on myspace.

(bad words edited out)

Quote:
well th is just syucks,
of all the sit sh that could f got wrong my f****ngs grage door won't ofpern f***! whast with aoll the bull****s lately>??
so, whos' briigning me dinner?>
an- sm more corneas?
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ShadowBeastie
419Eater is my life


Joined: 14 May 2008
Posts: 293
Location: Agility training pet peddlers across the globe.


PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2008 11:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Never ask 'where the mtcn is on a WU' of you won't like the answer. Laughing

Quote:
EXACTLY as you requested. The MTCN is on the form in the area designated MTCN. Now, kindly send the man in charge of the delivery to do his job, finish the transaction and send me my atm card.

_________________
Look what pet peddler pets can do!
I just do not know why, You know some people are very jelouse and wicked. Have you send the money already?
AND fuke your ass
AND Who the hell do you call your boss. Is your boss Idleness?--kelly notsobriete

yes i mating pair. ok. you will have to pay me $3500 when you receive them.
AND you are a thief. you are not in USA. please send me your number to call then i will happily call the airport to proceed with the shipping.--Hey Jude
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AND i have very healthy ship that i will be shipping them to you ok.-- Mac Ferdy
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DTGR
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 06 Apr 2008
Posts: 68


PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This message kind of says it all. I got this addy from the Zebras thread a while back:
Quote:
Before I give you ALL the information I was hoping to see a picture of your unicorns. I need to have some sort of verification that they are healthy and the real thing. Included in the picture I need to see a picture of someone holding a sign with the code message, "BONERIN SWEATPANTS" This is very very important so I can verify this is not a hoax and is the real thing.

Please, I need to have this before sending any more information.


We'll see what happens...
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Corona
Eater's sweetheart


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8644
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Sweety I feel heat between us and it throbs. Lets not pretend anymore. Lets get it out in the open wave.


His reply:
Quote:
I read your mail but could not understand it very well.Meanwhile, I will still need you to send me your foto.


Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15075
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This wasn't goofy, more impassioned...

First, some scene-setting, as a Lad lawyer isn't too diplomatic:

Quote:
I appreciate your concern and interest to assist us, but I do not want to rush things.
As you can see, I do not even know which country you live in. If I am to make a hotel reservation for you, I will be asked from which country is the person coming from.
In your mail you said "WE" Who and who is involve in this transaction. I need a telephone number of a person very close to you so that we can speak to each other since you said that you cant talk.
If you come here how are we going to communicate?
What do you do for a living?
I am sorry if I am asking too much but for me to entrust my client family fund of huge amount like this into your care, I think I deserve to know any thing that I think that I should know from you without pretense or missing words.
I have got a lot to loose if I make any mistake. Please do not be offended.


decided this guy needed taking down!

Quote:
You should know where I'm living because I gorram well told you! My exact words were "I'm a US citizen residing in Australia" in the context of the documents you sent me. Remember that now?
And why shouldn't I say "WE" in the context of this business? I'm working with the Ud0s over this matter - seems a good idea to include them! You'd agree with that.
The thing that really annoys me is that you say I can't talk. WRONG, bonehead - because I can't hear properly doesn't take away my ability to speak! Holy snapping duckshit, why do so many people in this day and age still think that deaf = mute = dumb? FYI I lost my hearing doing my military duty in Iraq. No gorram lardass lawyer is going to make fun of me for that! Are we clear on this, Mr Khuma10?
I make a living teaching people wilderness survival skills. That and my pension keep me OK and let me hang on to my retirement payout. Now and again I get extra work such as on the film "Rogue" - I helped nursemaid Radha Mitchell; that was OK too.
Final note; "please do not be offended" - if you write stupid things, I will be offended, no doubt about that. Bear that in mind and watch yourself! In any event, there won't be a hotel reservation or any real need for banking matters now, will there?

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15075
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

When still another Lad lawyer answered rudely (I think the plan is to force me back onto the Lad's scheme), Mal replied:

Quote:
I seem to have contacted the office boy by mistake.
Good day to you.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Captain Pike
Baiting Guru


Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 2579
Location: Starbase 11


PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have more than one baiting character in use at the moment. I got them mixed up yesterday, so it seems.

A lad wanted to know why I signed with "M0rtimer Sn3rd". I explained that it was an old nickname that my friends call me.

I hope he doesn't twig; that bait's been in play for about six weeks.

_________________
Mortar x13 Closed lad accounts x5 Sand Timer (393 days)

"On the 21st of April 2001, my client? His wife and their three children were involved in a plane crash of Union Transport Africans Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin Republic on the December 26,2003" Barrister Olorunshogo Williams, 25 October 2004.

"I am in reciept of your mail,i want you to know that you are really getting on my nerves." Burt Hardley, Wellkang International, 20 November 2007

"Please worry, we have already advice the FBI and they don't need to call you. They are very brianliant and intelident. They will get you soon. " Mr. Paul Rogers, Global Medical Equipment, 20 November 2007

As of 26 February 2009, $2,231,983.53 of fake checks and money orders have been intercepted and removed from circulation.
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thomas-the-tank
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 1087
Location: Wherever I want the lads to think I am


PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I am late cousin, and therefore his next of kin.

Please send documents to me as demanded by Mr of the Bank of Africa (attached document). Thank you for your help and coordination here.

With best regards and be ever twatted

I got complimented by the barrister on my nice letter.

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


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midnitedriver
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 76
Location: anywhere


PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

whats the pakistani word for chicken??

_________________
if a man speaks in the forrest, and noone is around to hear him, AM I STILL WRONG?
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"Actully my marriage is arranged by my parents,And my wife is my cousin.She is completely illetrate"
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bohigal
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 7227
Location: Epstein's Delicatessen


PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From my "pastor" to the mugu. Mugu's dollar has been chopped by Mr Gomer.

Quote:
Brother [email protected], I feel your concern and deep Christian love for brother Herbert. May I ask first, how do you know him from across so many miles? It was a bit alarming the other day when he presented me with a $5000 check for the restoration of the church organ. Brother Epste1n has been struggling somewhat with finances the last few years and has given much of his time and talent caring for the church organ. He polishes our organ and keeps it up every day, and as I watch him stroke our organ so lovingly it brings a tear to my eye. Then when he finishes rubbing the wood, the organ explodes forth in a beautiful torrent of holy Godhead. But he has never been able to give money for its upkeep, until now. I asked him where he got the money, and he said he had entered into a lucrative business deal with a petroleum corporation in Africa.

_________________

Stop typing in french, am seriously dissapointed....am just confused!!!
You will have my nuts in your hands as soon as i have the latrine in my hand & i will pay the goats to the lawyer
My dear with this only, it is clear you have contacted and communicated with Africa Fraudsters and even send funds to him. what a pity!
YOU ARE A WITCH. MAY YOU MENSURATE NON STOP TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE
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voudoujoe
Mentor Slut


Joined: 07 Apr 2008
Posts: 377
Location: Atlantic Coast


PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ok, it's not exactly what I wrote, but I am amused. My Lad (Mr Williams) named the band's new CD, but failed to complete the release form to satisfaction and didn't send his photos in a timely manner. That pissed off the CD cover designer, something Lad had been warned not to do, hence:

Kim, the CD designer, wrote:
Bart and Henry, (with CC to Mr Williams)

Seeing how we don't have the photographs or the release we need to finish the "My Blood Brother" CD cover design, I came up with a new CD name and a new CD cover design. Bart, you said you trust my artistic talent. I hope you like it because I just sent it to the printers. We will have 300,000 by this time next week!

I was inspired by Mr. Williams ... and a my dog's butt.

Thank you, Mr. Williams. I couldn't have done it with you! Wink

Love ya - Kim

Image


The boys in the band are emailing Mr G (aka Williams), Henry wrote:
ahhhh ha ha ha ha! that is seriously fucking funny dude! mr G, dude, you are gonna be famous, but probably not in any way you ever wanted to be!
i told you not to piss off kim. ahhhh ha ha ha!


UPDATE

Sometimes the universe has a way of telling us we are doing the right thing. This is one of those times.

When I made up the the CD cover above ... I had no idea that Blink182 recorded a great title track 7 years ago. Kim and the other guys in the band 'laid down the track last night' and sent and an mp3 to Mr Williams this morning. The guys threatened to quit the band if this wasn't the title track on the CD. You can hear The 'Mister Williams Song' on YouTube. The extra bonus ... all the the guys in the band are named for famous pirates. Check out the lyrics

UPDATE Neutral

... and sometimes life is not fair. All I get in response is this ...
Quote:
Dear, Kim.

Thanks for the idea, you did great, at least you have released me of this work. Now me a Bart can finish this contract. Thank you KIM.

Love ya. i will remit some money to you as soon as the deal is done okay.

Regards.

Mr. williams.
and
Quote:
Dear Kim,

I love the music...its cool baby, my son will like it i will ask him to play it when he come for the weekend, cool you are great..

Mr. williams


If, within a 5 week period, ...
    150 emails from him,
    2 trips to WU and 1 trip to MG,
    2 MTCN S3cur3 attempts,
    numerous forgotten/ignored requests
    countless pixelated/corrupt/blurry/hijacked passports and files
    a 5 page form,
    a quick dolla chop threat
    2 dozen insults laughing AT him and not WITH him,
    AND
    a multimedia insult about f*king his mother, his father, his sister, a pirate and a dog in the ass
doesn't do it, could someone please tell me what it takes to get just one little death threat?

_________________
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"God dam guys i don't know talk like they are me do there email look like mine? shit!! shit!!"
"i have no time to advise you on some fucker!! One love for all"

"i am pissed about all this..writing monkey mails everyday without no end, holy God."
"I am freaky worried about everything that is happening right now."

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bobby kaye
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 134
Location: o hi yo


PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My pet Nastya mentioned some months ago that her cat is named Boris.
She sent a photo today of the cat and herself, so I wrote
"So, how's your pussy, Boris?"

_________________
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15075
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

is supposed to have been the business partner of a guy who died in 2001. She replies;

Quote:
Back when Mr Th0mps0n died, I was 15 and still at school!


I couldn't resist a slight double entendre:

Quote:
And when the bank sees my age and occupation, I think they won't believe I had anything to do with drilling – for oil, anyway.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15075
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I hope this line caused a Lad to pause and wonder:

Quote:
Mr Murray runs the post office WHERE THE WESTERN UNION AGENCY IS (just so you won't blow a sandshoe or something).

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 185
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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rootuser
Elite Baiter


Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 1632
Location: Right behind you


PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Mr diplomat is about to receive
Quote:
Hi Georgie, do you want a balloon?

Just this, and just because I'm in the mood for it...

_________________
"..., if it not the destiny has reduced us together, then who?"
"may u die tomorrow in jesus name"
"The devil has eaten away your soul as you will decay in the hail fire, so go and die with your dyning devil hopless devil advocate."
"This is what i sent to them am not with any money to go back to nigeria pls help."

United Kingdom (0.25 go to fake_buster)

Safari x4 Wole A.: Akure, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, Akure, Nigeria to Tanguieta, Benin (both with Thomas-the-Tank and Simba), Akure, Nigeria to Kano, Nigeria (with TtT and OD), Akure, Nigeria to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire (with TtT)

Mortar

pony pony
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rootuser
Elite Baiter


Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 1632
Location: Right behind you


PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He gets back to me complaining how complicated I am...

So he gets this...
Quote:
I have told you already that the consignment has been cleared. I have a friend at the UN who has taken care of this.
Anybody who wants to have money from you now must be trying to steal from you.

So, you want a balloon or not?

_________________
"..., if it not the destiny has reduced us together, then who?"
"may u die tomorrow in jesus name"
"The devil has eaten away your soul as you will decay in the hail fire, so go and die with your dyning devil hopless devil advocate."
"This is what i sent to them am not with any money to go back to nigeria pls help."

United Kingdom (0.25 go to fake_buster)

Safari x4 Wole A.: Akure, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, Akure, Nigeria to Tanguieta, Benin (both with Thomas-the-Tank and Simba), Akure, Nigeria to Kano, Nigeria (with TtT and OD), Akure, Nigeria to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire (with TtT)

Mortar

pony pony
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CowboyBuck
Elite Baiter


Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 1078
Location: Riding the Western Union Trail


PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Some excuses for not making payments come from outer space:

Quote:
Dear Mr. ;

I could not leave the ranch or contact the bank yesterday or today
because we were fighting a brushfire caused by a large meteorite or
similar object which landed on the ranch property yesterday.

The incident was reported in the Los Angeles Times newspaper, see link:
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-fireball2-2008jul02,0,5341752.story

Sincerely,

William

_________________
Safari Accra to Abuja to Lagos
Sand Timer Mr. King - May 2008 to May 2009
Closed lad accounts A few more
United States United Nations
Ireland United Kingdom Switzerland Germany Netherlands France Italy Spain Ukraine
South Africa Nigeria Ghana Australia Japan China Malaysia
Argentina Columbia Panama
Right now I am getting pissed with your responses
And still you later claimed there are snakes on the road to the Western Union
Please for the sake of humanity help Mr. Felix and I to get this money
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Nanny Ogg
"Bruce"


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2624


PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

To my cheque lad. I couldnt get to send the money as I'm in hospital so got my pal to do it, well he's been really anxious to get the cash

Quote:
My neighbour says he sent the money off.
I'm not sure what he meant by the nicckles and dimes falling thru the envelope but I'll find out when i get home

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Spudz
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Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1175
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I got sick of my lad moaning about the refugee camp, you know the one, no food but superb internet facilities

Quote:
my seety hne pi

why yu send froms so bladdy late?

is moonday afor i get to westre uniun offic agin

an hey will yu stop moaning abut the refug camp

i com fro india, i very poor

all my life is like short time yu soend in there

yu fatha was rich yes?, so afor bad ting hapen

tyu had tha good life

i only get monies few month ago

american man take pictures of my testsicles

fr magazeene

he giv me $50,000

ver soon yu will be livin good life agin wit me

yu will have gud shus and good dress

an good pantys

so stop yu bladdy moanin

my sweery cake

i lov yu and wan to be yu

my sweety Y4di


If reading that was hard, spare a thought for my lad!!

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Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.

NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER


YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?

Closed lad accounts x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about
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