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 Do Lads like laptops ? - "God will areest you" !!

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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The idea is to convince a Lad to go to Lagos International Airport to pick up a consignment of laptops.

He is instructed to find a Mr Mr Unatomba Mbuzi at the desk of an airline in the Main Terminal - and that name means Mr Goat Fu@Łer in Swahili (and I've chosen an airline who are likely to know the meaning) - thereby assuring him of a lot of unwelcome attention from men with automatic weapons.

I've done a small ASEM, as a group of Lads would be more fun, all using the same receipt to collect the goods.

My first error was not to make it necessary for them to confirm to me that they would be going, but I'ill just have to wait and see if I get any reports back to me - and adjust future ASEM's.

One reply

Quote:
Hello Sir,

Thank you so much for you reply but i want to have your number to call you so that if there is any problem, they can call you and ask you if you did any shipment to lagos.

So that there will be not mistake or any problem by clearing the laptops computer.

Thank you.

My Regards to your family


I demanded to know where my intended recipient is and asked him to return the delivery note. Very Happy

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning

Last edited by GomerPyle on Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:09 pm; edited 4 times in total
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thefife
"Mercedes Dealer"


Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 2261
Location: Soaked in Holy Ghost Fiyah...it tastes like chicken


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That sounds like big fun Gomer! You could send a follow up email asking if they received the laptops ok since you hadn't heard back from them.

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Thanking you. Yours in His service (+ Banner!)


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kurat
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 09 Nov 2006
Posts: 522
Location: Europe


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

To answer the topic: Yes, they love them! Although they are often promised loads of laptops, for some reason they haven't received any... Cool

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Old No. 7
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 777
Location: Somewhere Else


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What's this Gomer, moving from mass baiting of Lotto lads into mass safaris?

JoJo had better watch out.

Best of luck and may your sig line run out of space for hats!

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GomerPyle
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Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I don't think I'll get or claim them as safaris. That might be expecting too much, knowing how lazy Lads are. The chances of getting even a Lagos Lad to move off his cafe chair to go to the airport off an ASEM is fairly remote (but worth trying), bearing in mind that there will be armed airport police there with a licence to kill.

I'll probably make a weekly shipment through my courier site and amend future ASEM's to confirm the shipment, provide details and ask why the Lagos agent hadn't contacted me yet to identify himself and tell me he would be collecting the goods.

The more Lads I can terrorise the better. They are such a deserving cause. Evil or Very Mad

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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rumbero
"Professional Liar"


Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 3677
Location: All the Salsa Night Clubs


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Great modality Gomer. The mugus love laptops. You can just rewrite the ASEM letter and send another batch.
It is always good to put a secret code due to theft. Laughing Laughing good luck

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bearkat419
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Joined: 25 Jun 2007
Posts: 3525
Location: Houston, Texas


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
bearing in mind that there will be armed airport police there with a licence to kill.
Uh oh... I smell an ethics debate brewing Wink

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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Naaah - I'm sure a Lad with great interpersonal skills will make it through alright bearkat419. After all - I want them to come back and tell me what a great time they had. Very Happy

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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kleindoofy
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Joined: 24 Oct 2004
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Location: Europe


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Wouldn't it be a shame if the lad/lads had to pay his/their bribes to the customs officials *before* they get the point where they present the receipt to collect the goods.

The probability that some bribes will have to be paid is pretty high, especially for a shipment of laptops, the question is just *when* they're paid.
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dr stephen williams
Baiting Guru


Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 15398
Location: DSW's Tattoo Parlour


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

No ethics debates any more!

I love that name, Gomer!

The lads all want laptops. They like late model ones, which are easy to promise: "Her ya go, look at this laptop, this one is yours www.superdooperlaptops.com/bestmodel" Sir Winston bought Joseph Twumasi, Gay Mugu, (pipipipisex@hotmail.com) a laptop! Shame about the accident, though.....

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manbiteslion
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Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard


PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I gather owning your own laptop is a big dickswinging status symbol, so it's nice you're appealing to their vanity as well as greed Smile

I hope none of those dastardly couriers lose your shipment Smile

Actually I'd love to think of a dozen lads all standing at the desk showing off about laptops before all realising they're being taken for mugus...think of the loss of face Smile
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Alcathiax
Master Baiter


Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 189
Location: Orange County, California


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The lads DO love laptops!

I know this because a good friend of mine did several baits using his world-famous "laptops" Laughing

link removed - lotta
Rolling Eyes

_________________
Fake City Kill: 1 (http://www.newromesucks.com)

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Ophelia Dikki
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 740
Location: somewhere over the rainbow


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Wasn't those laptops supposed to have come with data projectors? Oh, I reckon you'll have to send them in a separate shipment.

Email them all back saying that the data projectors were left off and will come separately, but when they collect the laptops could they check them to see if they have the right connector on the back for the data projectors, yada,yada,yada....
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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Somewhat prophetically my mass mail provoked one of those 10 foot long religious mails headed

Quote:
Beloved,the wages of sin is death,God's gift is eternal life in CHRIST !"666,Reject it"(Bible-Rev-13-8-18 )


.. so I guess I have ethical reassurance from a Lad himself.

and this came in

Quote:
Hello Sir,

I am Mr. G0mer Best Friend and now Mr. G0mer is a very serious that IS why he cannot handle this and he gave me your information that is while i have to write you and to know what i have to do and how i am going to do this please call me so that we can discuses this on the phone please +234-XXXXX-XXXXX.or give me your number i will call you please be fast about this.

Thank you

Regards


I have a best friend Very Happy Isn't that spiffing ? After what I did to the family gerbil I was always told I shouldn't have any friends, but this is a Lad, so I guess it's okay.

He got the new improved mail and we'll chat tomorrow. Evil or Very Mad

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I just spoke to my new bestest friend, George, and I must admit that I do pick 'em.

I don't know if he was in bed and still getting his brain warmed up, but he didn't sound like the sharpest tool in the box - just the way I like them. Very Happy

I'll post the exchange between us shortly. I hope I didn't stress too much that he should ask for Mr Goat Felcher. My US accent wasn't very convincing, but good enough for a Lad. He wants my phone number, and I want him to have it so that he can let me know what happened. I hope they allow prisoners one call like in the West. Laughing

It may turn out to be a disappointment - but you don't know until you try - fingers crossed.

The call itself isn't particularly interesting, but as it's the establishing call for this new regular modality, I'm quite proud of it. He does sound kind of young and dumb, but he's also a scammer. He'll discover it's not quite so risky free - and he claims to be the friend of that notorious Lad gangster Mr G0mer. Evil or Very Mad

laptops.mp3 - 3.41MB

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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haywood_jablowmi
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Posts: 591
Location: demoralise the lads, over and over, they will give up just crush the hope they have of getting cash!


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

much more fun if you change the name to the swahili for 'I have a bomb' and send him to an airline serving a swahili speaking country!

or is that too damn mean

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GomerPyle
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Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The trouble is that I'd then cross the ITP line in causing closure of the airport and inconveniencing hundreds of innocent people.

It would be like making a hoax call. Unfortunately you have to measure what you do against the likely affect it will have. Causing a security alert at an airport would, I consider, be crossing the line.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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haywood_jablowmi
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Posts: 591
Location: demoralise the lads, over and over, they will give up just crush the hope they have of getting cash!


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

yeah good point, I like the swahili name idea though, i'm guessing lagos doesn't have many gay bars, else the swahili for "take my cherry" and sending a lad there could have mileage!

_________________
+447017022419 let your pet get in touch with me, it's good to talk
'Why do you want me to stand by that volvo' diplomat mariam
Douglas blair "na devil go hammer your family for head"
Cellphone Nigeria
1x voodoo curse
"you are a cosomplitant asshole" S.Ghartey 2006 - why thank you i think.
' i sent jamaicans to kill you' Mills Kwame - you must have given them the wrong address, no one came round, i baked cookies and everything.
YOU ARE A CUR, A TRAMP, A HOBO A MISRABLE ONE FOR THAT MATTER.
WANDERING PIG.
SLAG LIKE YOU ARE NOT A MAN OF GOD GO TO HEIL I WILL NOT PRAY FOR YOU THAT AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU IS THAT WITH YOU.
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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/index.htm

is where I got the words from

(Watch out for the pop up - I have a blocker in my browser) or I can post up a few gems

If you select Swahili, there are so many good insults there, it's hard to choose.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Tokolosh
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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 8


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I know I'm new here but I think what you're doing is hugely unethical. Sad

In the unlikely event that the good boys in blue get a little trigger happy I fear there could be an obscene amount of perfectly good ammo wasted and some poor soul would have to clean whats left of the lead-filled lad up.

Meh, I guess its a risk you're just gonna have to take. Wink
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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

One thing I need to take into account in future is that scammers scam because it is virtually risk free to be able to sit in front of a pc and then collect money from WU. Only baiters interrupt the tranquility of their illegal work, so they'll never easily take ANY risk.

Asking them to go to an airport, with armed police about, to do something that could be illegal is not such a tempting proposition, so I need to make the transaction appear completely risk free in future.

The chances of him getting shot ? - pretty remote. About as likely as him getting electrocuted by his pc, but if I can increase his heart rate a little, the experience may even be good for his health. Evil or Very Mad

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Tokolosh
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 8


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You may be right Gomer, but I don't see any problem in persuading him to stick his tongue into a wall socket or something, I mean if he's so dumb he's in danger of choking on his own spit he's probably not gonna last too long anyways. Laughing

I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this though.
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thefife
"Mercedes Dealer"


Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 2261
Location: Soaked in Holy Ghost Fiyah...it tastes like chicken


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Great work Gomer & congrats on your first customer!! Very Happy Very Happy Use this dingbat to refine the modality to perfection. I have trying a similar modality using diamonds w/ mixed results. Getting them off their ass & to the collection is a bitch. Evil or Very Mad

P.S. I hope he takes about 5 shots to the ass when he shows up to get his laptops. Laughing

_________________
Mercedes-Benz Safari Invitational Peter S0lomon Pith Helmet Lagos to Calabar Pith Helmet Lagos to Kano via Abuja (w/ OxygenDeprived)

Barr. Johnny Gawa: Hello Baby.
Let hope to make it more real for good. (+2 pics of him rockin his delicate underthings)


Pastor Ramesh:Dear Mother Guch33y B4ggs in christ,
...So we want repair our tached prayer house. If you would like to help us 500 dollars it will be great help...Now I am some pictures for your kind notice. I am waiting for your reply.
Thanking you. Yours in His service (+ Banner!)


Pastor Ramesh: I dont want any luxary life ...Presently I need bicycle. It cost nearly $100 dollars. If you give this it is great need for me.

Mortar 10+ Twisted Evil
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Juan Freizwidatt
Forum Admin


Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Posts: 19775
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm still trying to determine what part of the US you're from. Your accent is a tiny bit hard to place. Laughing

This is a great modality, I'll be watching this thread with interest.

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

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- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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GomerPyle
Pervert Bastard


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I knew it - youthful enthusiasm will carry him through.

He said he'd been to the airport twice and they didn't know anyone by the name of Mr Unatomba Mbuzi - not surprisiningly Very Happy - so where's someone who speaks Swahili when you need them ? He was moaning about how tired he was and the money it had cost him, but he went there early, so what does he expect ? - it to be dropped by parachute.

He says he's on the way back and he needs an airwaybill number. That's handy I can talk airway bill numbers until his hind legs drop off. Laughing You see T3mp3st Transport are freight forwarders and a freight forwarder's air waybill is different to an airline one. I'll just make one up.

So he's actually had a serious conversation with the airline staff about this. I'll see if he can find a Swahili speaker. Laughing

It's so nice dealing with a Lad whose brain is putty. I think his phone credit is dying too. Laughing He can only manage to flash my phone.

I can see he's under pressure - so I'll go make a coffee, get changed and relaxed and call him back. At this rate I could get him back to the airport next week. I guess I'd need to manage ten trips to make a safari (only joking). I hope other Lads have done the trip too. That would be seriously funny.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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