John McCain is going to hang me!

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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:49 pm

Slap him for only using one color in his latest message.

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:02 pm

^^Hmm, good point. The lowly Mr. Anderson gets two or three colors, but a US Senator only gets one. Laughing

Here is the senator's reply:

Quote:

Mr. Allen,

I see you have done your homework. Yes, this campaign has cost me greatly. I don't know if you are familiar with how the political machinery works here in the states, but nothing happens without money. I need money for my campaign, and you can help me get it. The more you help me, the more I can help you.

I fully intend to help Mr. Anderson. I have used my connections to get him qualified for a small business loan that he could never get without my help. In return, he as promised me a large portion of the fund. I intend to put that money to good use, but it will not be nearly enough. I crushed Romney, but I need a lot more money to fend off that pest Huckaby.

Stop talking about bribes, this is legitimate government business. It is fully expected that the key players in any transaction can skim a little off the top for themselves. I want to make a 7.5 million dollar fund available to you. You can use it to strengthen your agency, or you can buy cars and houses for all I care. Just as long as you kick back 3 million to me, we'll have no problems. If you work with me on this, I can get us to the next level of funding which is closer to 50 million. But first things first.

There is nothing illegal about this, it is just the way business is done. If you care about the war on drugs and terror, you'll consider this proposal. If not, things will get hard for you.

Your Friend,

John McCain

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:53 pm

You wouldn't dare make them into McCain campaign staffers, complete with signs, buttons, and funny hats, and make them take pictures of themselves?

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:57 pm

^ That would be awesome Laughing

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:18 pm

Nice idea bohigal!. Maybe I can work that in.

The Anti Drugs answered the good Senator:

Quote:

ATTN: SIR,

THANK YOU SIR FOR COMPASSATED MY GOOD WORK. I�M NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE POLITICAL BUT AS YOU KNOW, WE�RE CURRENTLY IN THE WORLD ON WHAT�S GOING ON. THANK YOU BY SAYING THAT NOTHING HAPPEN WITHOUT MONEY. YOU�RE NOW TALKING CONTRARY TO OUR LAW. SIR, HOW CAN I HELP YOU? UPON THE MONEY YOU HAD SPENT EALIER JANUARY? SIR, YOU KNOW THE RULE AND REGULATION GUIDING THIS DEPARTMENT OF THIS (NDLEA) AND WE ARE ONLY PERFORMING OUR DUTIES ALSO WE ARE DOING CONTRARY TO THE LAW GUIDE THIS NATIONAL DRUGS ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (NDLEA).

SIR, DON�T SAY I SHOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT BRIBES, AS A HIGH ESTREEM AND WITH YOUR CALIBRE YOU KNOW THE LAW GUIDE THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES, ACCORDING TO THE UNITED NATION ANY OFFICIAL WHO COLLECT BRIBES MUST DEFINETLY SENTENCES TOJAIL CHARGE HIS/HER OWN CASE AS CRIMINALS SENTENCES. SIR, YOU KNOW WHAT I AMTALKING ABOUT AND I CAN NOT TAKE ANY BRIBE FROMYOU UNLESS YOU JUST WANT TO OFFER ME A GIFT APART FROMTHIS CASE. THE LAW STIMULATING TO THIS ORGANISATION, WE WISH TO INFORM YOU SIR, THAT WE DON�T TAKE ANY BRIDBE FROM ANY ONE BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN STRICKLY PROHIBITED BY THE UNITED NATION THAT APPOINTED THIS (NDLEA) HERE IN BURKINA FASO. SIR, YOU THE FUND IS TOOMUCH TOBE TRANSFERRED WITHOUT THE ANTI DRUGS CERTIFICATES THAT BACK UPTHE FUND. THERE�S NOANY AMOUNT OF MONEY MR.TIM CAN OFFER TO BRIBES THIS DEPARTMENT WITH HIM PRESENT THESE ANTI DRUGS CERTIFICATES THAT WE CAN AFFORD.

SIR, WE USING THIS GREAT OF YOUR PREVILAGE TO ADVICE YOU TO INFORM MR.TIM TO PAY THE REMAINING BALANCE OF THE ANTI DRUIGS CERTIFICATES. OUR BOSS HAS COMMENCED ON THE RELEASE OF THE FUND AS SOONAS HE PAY THE REMAINING BALANCE OF THE MONEY.

SIR,BY ACCEPTING YOUR OFFER, YOU HAVE TO ADVICE MR.TIM ANDERSON TO SEND THE REMLAINING BALANCE OF THE MONEY OR HE SHOULD REPRESENT THESE REQUIRED CERTIFICATES TO ENABLE THIS DEPARTMENT TO RELEASE HIS FUND. SIR, YOU KNOW VERY WELL THE RULE AND REGULATION GUIDING THIS SESSION THAT WE DON�T TAKE ANY BRIBE FROMANY ONE. SIR, YOU NEED TOADVICE MR.Tim TO COMPLY NOW BEFORE WE SHOULD START THE INVESTIGATION BECAUSE TIME GIVEN TOHIMTO COMPLY HAS BEEN EXPIRED AND WE DON�T HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE ON HIM. YOU SHOULD ADVICE MR.TIM TO COMPLY WITH OUR INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO HIM BEFORE HIS FUND CAN BE RELEASE.

(That email was the usual Technicolor rant, but I'm just too lazy to paint it today.)

So he can't take a bribe, but a gift works for him. Rolling Eyes

I really don't think he understands what I'm asking him for. I'll have to spell it out. Sadly, I think the good Senator will need a lot more money now that he has this whole affair scandal to deal with. Laughing

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:24 pm

Quote:

now that he has this whole affair scandal to deal with.

...and a trophy wife who stole from a charity to support her painkiller addiction (Percocet). Who should be on the alert for anti-drugs certificates now, hmm?

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:26 pm

^^ I like the way you think!!

It may have to wait until I can get past his little hard to get routine. I doubt he'll understand a word of it, but I just sent this reply:

Quote:

Mr. Allen,

Thank you for your verbose letter. I must disagree with your contention that what I am proposing is contrary to your laws. Our constitution clearly states that the laws of the United States supersede policies of our constituent agencies. The same principle can be applied uniformly to both sovereign and non-sovereign government bodies.

I do not know if you have seen the news today, but I am currently embroiled in a scandal regarding a certain woman I had private relations with. I will not embarrass you with the specifics, but suffice to say I will need a great deal of money to clear my name.

I am asking you as a patriot and a friend to assist me with my efforts to bolster my campaign finances. Of course I would never do anything illegal such as offering you a bribe, but since you have so cleverly identified a completely legal alternative, what sort of gift would get you to cooperate with me?

Sincerely yours,

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:32 pm

^^Hmmm...I'll bet he comes back with "$3,000,000.00 worth of laptops, rolex watches, and Snoop Dogg cds."

hehehe Very Happy

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:32 am

Quote:

I would never do anything illegal such as offering you a bribe, but since you have so cleverly identified a completely legal alternative, what sort of gift would get you to cooperate with me?

Now there's a "straight-talkin' maverick" for ya!

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:23 pm

I seem to be having a little trouble convincing this mallet head that I'm the real John McCain.

The Anti Drugs wrote:

ATTN: SIR,

WHICH NEWS AND WHICH CONTENTION DID YOU PROPOSE TO THE LAWS? SIR, OUR
BOSS HAS STARTED BE SUSPECTING YOU IF YOU THE ONE MAKING THIS POINT. HOW
COULD YOU MENTION THIS KIND OF POINT? HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT YOU�RE
ASKING ME AS APATRIOT AND A FRIEND TO ASSIST YOU? HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?

SIR, ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE THE PERSON WRITING UNLAWFUL MESSAGE? WITH YOUR
HIGH ESTREEM AND YOUR CALIBRE YOU CAN NOT MAKING THIS SUCH OF MISTAKEING
WORLD AS KNOW THE LAWS GUIDE THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES, ACCORDING TO THE
UNITED NATION ANY OFFICIAL WHO COLLECT BRIBES MUST DEFINETLY SENTENCES
TOJAIL CHARGE HIS/HER OWN CASE AS CRIMINALS SENTENCES. THEN, WHY ARE YOU
FORCING TO CO-OPERATE WITH YOU? YOU SHOULD ADVICE MR.TIM TO COMPLY WITH
OUR INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO HIM BEFORE HIS FUND CAN BE RELEASE.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

So I sent this crap chop:

PINK lettering for maximum importance factor, of course. Laughing

Seemed to work. Very Happy

Quote:

ATTN: SIR,

OK,I BELIEVE IN YOU NOW. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BLAME ME SIR BECAUSE I'M ONLY
TRYING TO PERFORMING MY DUTIES. HOW COULD I CO-OPERATE WITH YOU?

SIR, I'M SORRY FOR MY HARD WORDS AGAINST YOU. I AM ONLY TRYING TO DO
AGAINST THE LAWS GUIDE THESE DEPARTMENT OF ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES, ACCORDING
TO THE UNITED NATION ANY OFFICIAL WHO COLLECT BRIBES MUST DEFINETLY
SENTENCES TO JAIL CHARGE HIS/HER OWN CASE AS CRIMINALS SENTENCES. THEN,
WHY ARE YOU FORCING TO CO-OPERATE WITH YOU? YOU SHOULD ADVICE MR.TIM TO
COMPLY WITH OUR INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO HIM BEFORE HIS FUND CAN BE RELEASE.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

Now then, what to do, what to do?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Just read this thread. Great bait you've got going here, Luckey. Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:04 am

Ask him what gifts he wants, since his high moral standards and integrity won't allow him to accept money. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:08 am

I was kind of letting this thing slip, but I think I might have to pick it up again.

My lad has been asking me to find him a house so he'll have a place to live when he comes to America. So of course I sent him some links to some multi million dollar homes to comment on. He didn't like them, so I sent him links a bunch of online realtors and asked him to pick out a few he likes so I could set up appointments. Of course he couldn't be bothered to look, so I told him it was stupid to come here without a place to live. He didn't like that much:

My Lad wrote:

Dear Tim,

First of all, Tim, avoid insulting me like a kid ok, do you know the word of stupidity? How dare you calling a stupid? Don�t you know how to addressing person? Point of correction,I am a good Muslim man and I don�t like someone insulting me like a fool ok. No body above the mistake and if i did wrong why can�t you enlighten instead of insult? Anyway, about the gift, are you not the one who asked me what do i need or like? Go through these follow sentences as follow (I'm more than happy to help you find something, you just need to tell me what you like and what you need.) Have you seen the message you sent to me? And you are asking again which gift.

<snip boring part of rant regarding travel arrangements>

I don�t understand what you are talking about the loan? How far have you gone with the anti drugs? Have you succeeded with the loan as you promised? Please my good brother my life is at risk for now and you have to help me out from this dangerous because I am not with my self. Brother Tim, I swear from the bottom of my heart that I am stranded and I am not happy with my life till I hear from you that the fund is transferred into your account. I will be waiting to hear from you soon.

My reply:

Quote:

Wow, slow down there pal. Don't get all touchy on me. I didn't call you stupid, I said it is a stupid thing to do to wait for so long to buy a house when you will get here with no place to live. And it is. That's just an expression over here, not an insult. What are you going to do, stay in a hotel for six months while you wait to find a house, and then get the lawyers to draw up the papers, and get the state to approve the sale, and all of that crap? It doesn't work like that here. Maybe I should try to get you an apartment with a month to month lease so you will have a place to live while you look for a house. Do you want me to do start doing that?

About the gift, you didn't read my email correctly. When I said "I'm more than happy to help you find something, you just need to tell me what you like and what you need." I was talking about the house. Hello? Remember that how we were talking about a house in the sentence right before that one? Ok? So that's what happened. Sheesh.

About the flight over here, you just have to work with a travel agent or something. Lots of flights go through Kennedy or Chicago, but it might be possible to fly directly. To be honest, I've never flown from Burnika Fucko to Seattle before so I really can't say off the top of my head what you should do. Do you want me to try to get a flight for you? If you give me a credit card number and a few dates, I can easily book something for you.

About the loan, what don't you understand? I thought I explained everything already. Are you getting enough sleep?

Well, he didn't answer that right away, but oddly, the bank wrote me almost instantly:

Mr. Bank President wrote:

CONGRATULATION!! YOUR SENIOR HAS FINALLY CONCLUDED WITH ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES.

YOUNG MAN, YOU�RE SO LUCKY ENOUGH BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO LOSE THIS SAID (US$25M) AS WE ARE ABOUT TO RETURN THE SAID (US$25M) TO THE BANK GOVERNMENT�S ACCOUNT BEING UNCLAIMED FUND. THE BOSS OF ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES CAME TO THE BANK THIS WEEK WEDNESDAY AND HE SAID WE SHOULD CANCEL YOUR NAME AND RETURN THE FUND BACK TO THE GOVERNMENT�S ACCOUNT AS FROM NEXT WEEK TUESDAY WHICH WE ARE ABOUT TO. FORTUNETLY YOUR SENIOR BROTHER REPORTED TO THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES YESTERDAY THAT YOU ARE NOT THE RIGHT PERSON TO RECEIVE THE SAID (US$25M) INTOYOUR ACCOUNT.

OUR (BOA) STAFF WILL BE PLEASE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR SENIOR BROTHER RESIDENCE AT ENGLAND PR.TONY OLIVER JACKSON HAS ORDERED THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES TO STOP ANY COMMUNICATION WITH YOU IMMEDIATELY, ON HIS EXPLANATIONS, HE INITIALLY INFORMED YOU BEFORE HE TRAVELLED FOR A SPECIAL MISSION AT HAMBURG IN GERMANY, YOU SHOULD NOT APPLY TO THE BANK TILL HE WILL BACK FROM JOURNEY. UNFORTUNETLY HE HAD THAT YOU�RE HAVING SOME MINUS PROBLEM WITH THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES WHICH IS NOT HAPPY WITH IT. HE FURTHER EXPLAINS THAT, YOU MR.MAJOR IS TOO SMALLTO RECEIVE THIS SAID HUGE AMOUNT OF FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT, THAT�S WHY YOU CAN NOT PAY FOR THIS SMALL AMOUNT REQUIRED BY THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES TO RELEASE THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

THIS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT LETTER HAD BEEN INFORMED TO THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH YOU, THAT YOU�RE TRYING TO BE STORBURNESS WITH HIM, HE IS THE REAL AND DIRECT BENEFICIARY WHO SUPPOSED TO RECEIVED THIS SAID (US$25M) APPREHENDED INTO HIS ACCOUNT. HOWEVER, HE HAD FORWARDED HIS ENTIRE DESINATION BANK ACCOUNT TO RETURN AND EXCHANGE OF YOUR ACCOUNT, AND HE WANT THE SAID (US$25M) TO BE RELEASE AND TRANSFER TO HIS ACCOUNT IN SINGAPORE AS FOLLOW: BANK NAME: DBS BANK LTD SINGAPORE
ADDRESS: 6 SHENTON WAY, DBS BUIDLING, SINGAPORE
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 0032-000256-01-4-022 USD CURRENT ACCOUNT
ROUTING NUMBER: TELEX: RS24455
SWIFT CODE: DBSSSGSG
BENEFICIARY NAME: MR. TONY OLIVER JACKSON

PASSPORT NO: S0137376E

WE FREQUENTLY HAVE INTERESTING AND TO QUARANTED HIS SPECIAL REQUEST AS A VALUE CUSTOMER, THIS MATTER HAS RESOLVED WITHOUT THE OFFICIAL INTERVENTION, FOR THE INSTRUCTIONS GIVEN TO THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES, THESE ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE YOUR ACCOUNT WITHOUT NOTICE. (BOA) HEREBY INFORM YOU WHICH THESE ARE FOLLOWING OBJECT HAD BEEN ACCEPTED BY THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES.

THIS SHORT ANNOUNCEMENT MAY APPEAR CLOUDLY TO YOUR NOTICE BEFORE THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES SHALL COMMENCE ON THE RELEASE OF SAID (US$25M) TO YOUR SENIOR BROTHER ACCOUNT. PLEASE ACCEPT OUR APOLOGIES IF YOUR CHOICE IS NOT AVAILABLE WITH YOUR BROTHER SUGGESTION. ALSO YOU�RE ADVICE TO RECONSIGN WITH YOUR SENIOR BROTHER PR.TONY OLIVER JACKSON AND DO NOT HAVE ANY SORT OF PROBLEM WITH HIM. IF YOU HAVE ANY ENQUIRIES OR QUESTIONS CONCERNING THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT ARRANGE BY YOUR SENIOR BROTHER, PLEASE DO NOT HESTITATE TO CONTACT OUR STAFF IN TIME BEFORE THIS FUND SHALLBE COMMENCE APPREHEN INTO YOUR BROTHER ACCOUNT.

MEANWHILE YOUR SENIOR BROTHER PLEDGE THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES TO SEND THE MONEY FOR ANTI DRUGS CERTIFICTAES TOMORROW BEING SATURDAY IF HIS REQUEST IS BEEN GRANTED BY THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES.

UPON ALL THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT AND ARRANGEMENT YOUR SENIOR BROTHER HAVE PUT TOGETHER TO ENSURE A SUCCESSFULLY AND CONFIDENTIAL TRANSFER THE SAID FUND OF (US$25M) INTO HIS ACCOUNT AND HAVE ACCEPTED WITH YOUR SENIOR BROTHER? YOU�RE ADVICE TO TELL THIS MANAGEMENT YOUR MIND BEFORE THE BOSS OF ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES SHALL COMMENCE ON THE RELEASE THE SAID OF (US$25M) BY COMING TUESDAY ON THE 4TH MARCH, 2008.

THANKS FOR ANTICIPATION CO-OPERATION.

My reply to the bank:

Quote:

Dear Mr. President,

Wow, that kind of sucks. Seems unfair too. I mean, I told you I was taking out a loan, and I told you when it might come through, and you never told me that would be a problem. If you couldn't wait for that, why didn't you just say something.

If you ask me, I think you're making a mistake. I think that Tony Oliver Jackson is probably an fraudstar. I can tell you this for sure, he's not related to me. But who am I to say. I'm sure you will discover that when you investigate him.

Let me know when you finally learn the truth. I will probably have the loan by then.

That seemed to perk things up again:

My Lad wrote:

Tim, I prefer to stay in Hotel than to stay with you because with this your strange character with me, if I stay with you will be having misunderstanding every day which I don�t like because you don�t have manner of approaching at all. So, I will suggest to stay in Hotel even if takes me a year before I get House and do not do anything till I come over there. What do you mean by this Burnika Fucko?

Hello Tim, what�s wrong with you and what do you mean by this again (Are you getting enough sleep?) Avoid all these insult because I am not a kid ok, also I am a gentle man with a great calmness. How dare you talk to me like that? Anyway, what is it I am hearing? What�s going on? I learnt in the bank today that you have contacted somebody else to receive the fund transfer into his account. Was it true and what�s going on? What are you planning to do me? So, you are planning to kick me out from this money? Have you forget all the suffering that I have gone through before I contacted you to help me to get this fund transfer into your account? Or have you forgetting the amount I have spent so far? Neither you have forgetting that this is where all my hope with entire of my family is? Do you know that it was because of this fund my life is at risk now? I am now stranded because of this fund. Please talk to me and let me know what is going on because my mind is not at rest over this rumour I am hearing. I will be waiting urgently to hear from you soon.

I will be waiting to hear from you soon.

My reply:

I wrote:

Oops, that was a typo. Or maybe it was a Freudian slip. Don't take it personally, I'm sorry if I pissed you off. You should really try to lighten up. You are frustrated with me, and I am frustrated with you. I honestly get the feeling you don't even read my emails to you. You ask me the same questions over and over again. You ask for my help to find you a house, and I put all of this work into it, and not only do you not appreciate my hard work, you get all lazy on me and you won't even help me out by looking with me. So that makes me suspicious that maybe you aren't really planning to come here after all, and maybe you are just some maniac who is trying to play some kind of trick on me to get my money.

Whatever dude. The whole thing is messed up now. The bank wrote me today and told me they have someone else to take the money Tony Oliver or something like that. I never heard of the guy, and I had nothing to do with it, cause I haven't told anyone about this deal, so if anyone screwed it up, it's probably you or one of those idiots at that crappy bank of yours. The whole thing makes no sense because I told that stupid bank I was getting a loan, probably this week, and they never told me that would be a problem. Now I have to figure out what to do with all of that cash. I guess things could be worse LOL!

Honestly, I think if we could see each other eye to eye, I think we would be friends. I think it's hard to be friends like this over the email. You never understand what I'm saying or how I mean it. People really like me. I'm a good person.

Anyway, sorry about your fund. But at the same time, I am very glad I met you. If this whole thing hadn't have happened, I never would have gotten all that money from the loan, so I guess God is looking out for one of us LOL. I'm seriously happy about that! I hope you figure something out to get yourself out of this big mess.

Bye.

Ah, the power of the smell of money:

Mr. Bank President wrote:

ATTN: MR.MAJOR BASSETS,

YOUNG MAN, ARE YOU OUT OF SENSES? WHAT HAS COME OUT TO YOUR MEMORIES? THE MANAGEMENT OF THIS (BOA) QUEITLY ASKED YOU SOME IMPORTANT QUESTIONS THAT SERIOUSLY TO OUR CONCERN AND YOU�RE SAYING UNCONFORTABLE LANGUAGE. ARE YOU TAKING DRUGS OR WHAT? WHOM DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING WITH? NOTE THAT YOU�RE DEALING WITH THE BANK, YOU ARE NOT INTO A BUSINESS OF BUYING AND SELLING, IS THAT CLEAR? WHO ARE YOU TO TALK TO THIS HONOURABLE BANK LIKE THAT?

HOWEVER, WHO IS THAT MAN CALLING HIMSELF YOUR SENIOR BROTHER PR.TONY OLIVER JACKSON? DO YOU MEAN YOU DON�T KNOW THE MAN OR RELATED TO HIM? THEN HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THIS PROCESS OF YOURS INHERITANCE FUND WAS SEIZED BY ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES? HOW DID THE MAN RECOGNISE YOU? THIS MAN SO-CALLED PR.TONY OLIVER JACKSON REPORTED TO THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES THAT YOU ARE NOT THE RIGHT PERSON TO RECEIVE THE SAID (US$25M) INTOYOUR ACCOUNT. HE SAID THAT YOU ARE HIS YOUNGER BROTHER.

OUR (BOA) STAFF WILL BE PLEASE TO INFORM YOU TO TELL THIS HONOURABLE BANK THE TRUTH TO ENABLE THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES TO CARRYING ON THE INVESTIGATION ABOUT THIS MATTER, AS MATTER OF THE FACT, THIS IS SERIOUS MATTER. IF IT�S TRUE THAT YOU DID NOT RECOGNISE SO-CALL YOUR SENIOR BROTHER PR.TONY OLIVER JACKSON THAT RESIDENCE AT ENGLAND, THAT MEANS HE IS FRAUDSTAR? BUT THE WHOLE MEMBERS OF THIS BANK HAS CONFUSED OVER THIS MATTER. HOW DID THE MAN GET TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEM WITH THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES AND COULD YOU EXPLAIN THIS AREA BEFORE WE SHALL COMMENCE INVESTIGATION?

THE BOA GOVERNOR HAS REPORTED THIS MATTER TO THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES THIS MORNING AND THEIR BOSS COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NOT RELATED WITH SO-CALL PR.OLIVER JACKSON. WE THEREFORE ADVICE YOU TO WRITE TO THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES RIGHT AWAY TO LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU DON�T KNOW THE MAN CALLED HIMSELF PR.TONY OLIVER JACKSON. YOU�RE ADVICE TO DO THAT IMMEDIATELY BEFORE IS TOO LATE, BECAUSE THE MAN IS CLAIMING THAT YOU�RE HIS JOUNGER BROTHER. WE SHALL GET THE MAN ARRESTED SO SOON AND LET US KNOW THE TRUTH BEFORE THAT.

THE WORLD BANK HAS HEARD THIS BAD NEWS; MEANWHILE THE WORLD BANK HAS ORDERED THE ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES TO START INVESTIGATION ABOUT THIS MATTER. LET THIS BANK KNOW THE TRUTH OF THIS MATTER AND YOU ADVICE TO WRITE TO THE ANTI DRUGS IMMEDIATELY AND LET THEM KNOW THE DAY YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE ANTI DRUGS CERTIFICATES.

THANKS FOR ANTICIPATION CO-OPERATION.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 3:45 pm

Quote:

What do you mean by this Burnika Fucko?

These lads have such a screwed up modality! I don't think they have any real plan, and you've gotten further away from whatever it was they had in the first place. You have real gems, there, luckey. Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 3:46 pm

I was just wondering when we'd be hearing from the Amazing Rainbowed John McCain Bank again. As always, good stuff.

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:14 am

@SlapHappy, that about sums it up. I've been pretty directionless with this thing, and I think it's rubbed off on him. (I'd be amazed if there is more that one lad here).

Speaking of fun twists, he just told off John McCain. Sorry, you'll have to imagine the technicolor highlighing, I'm too tired to do it...

Quote:

TTN: SIR,

SENATOR, YOU DON'T DESERVE RESPECT AND I THOUGHT YOU�RE SUCH KIND OF
CALIBRE, NOT KNOWING THAT YOU�RE NOTHING BEFORE ZERO. SENATOR, YOU HAVE
MADE ME TO BE USING HARD WORDS ON YOU BECAUSE YOU DID NOT RESPECT YOUR
SELF, I AM TRYING NOT TO DO SOMETHING AGAINST THE LAWS GUIDE THESE
DEPARTMENT OF ANTI DRUGS AGENCIES,AND YOU�RE FORCING ME TO BREAK THE LAW.

SEN.JOHN MCCAIN, YOU�RE NOTHING AND YOU CAN MISJUDGE YOUR SELF NOT ME. GO
TO HELL WITH YOUR 7.5M IF TRUE THAT YOU�RE REALLYNEED THIS MONEY TO BE
RELEASE AND TRANSFER TO MR.TIM ANDERSON,THEN WHY CAN�T YOU PAY FOR THE
REMAINING BALANCE OF $20.300 UNITED SATES DOLLARS TO ENABLE OUR BOSS TO
RELEASE THE MONEY FOR LONG? OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE AMOUNT YOU HAD
SPENT AT EALIER JANUARY? IF I MAY ADVISE YOU, PLEASE STOP WRITING TO THIS
OFFICE BECAUSE MY UNCLE SAID I SHOULD NOT SHARE ANY COMMUNICATION WITH
YOU ANY MORE THAT YOU MAY DISQUALIFY OUR PLANED. AS THE MONEY IS ABOUT TO
SHIFT TO MY UNCLE�S ACCOUNT AND I DON�T NEED ANYTHING THAT WOULD DISTRACT
IT.

PERHAPS YOU AND TIM ANDERSON MAY NOT SEE EVEN ONE DOLLAR OUT OF THIS $25
MILLION, BECAUSE I�VE MADE A SOLID PLANED NOW REGARDING THIS MONEY FOR MY
OWN BETTERMENT BECAUSE I SEEK AN ADVICE FROM MY UNCLE IN BRITAIN.
SEN.JOHN, LISTEN CAREFULLY, I HAD CALLED MY UNCLE AND EXPLAINED
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FUND TO HIM, AFTER MY EXPLANATION TO HIM, HE CALLED
ME A FOOL THAT WHY DO I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR OFFERING. HE SAID TO ME
THAT, INSTEAD OF ME TO ACCEPT YOUR OFFER, I SHOULD RATHER TAKE THE
HIGHEST RISK TO GET THE FUND TRANSFER INTO HIS ACCOUNT IN SINGAPORE.

AS MATTER OF FACT, MY UNCLE HAS FORWARD HIS ACCOUNT INFORMATIONS TO OUR
OFFICE SINCE LAST WEEK AND THE BANK OF AFRICA HAS NEVER ACCEPTED MY UNCLE
YET. THESE ENTIRE PLANS HAS BEEN DONE BUT THE BANK AND OUR BOSS HAS NEVER
AGREED WITH MY UNCLE TO PAY THE REMAINING BALANCE OF THE ANTI DRUGS
CERTIFICATES. THE BANK OF AFRICA WAS DOING UNNESSARY INVESTIGATION
REGARDING THIS MATTER WITH MY UNCLE.

THE BOA PRESIDENT FURTHER EXPLAINED TO OUR BOSS TO WAIT NEVER ACCEPT MY
UNCLE TO PAY THE REMAINING BALANCE THAT, MR.MAJOR BASSETS CALLED TO THE
BOA THAT HE DOESN�T KNOW MY UNCLE, MEANWHILE THE BANK ARE IN SERIOUSLY
INVESTIGATION WITH MY UNCLE, AND MY UNCLE HAS TOOK A LAWYER REGARDING
THIS MATTER. SENATOR, I BET YOU THAT YOU AND MAJOR BASSETS HAS FAIL ABOUT
THIS FUND. THE INVESTIGATIONS POWERS ARE AN IMPORTANT WEAPON THE KEY OF
AUTHORITIES BY THESE (NDLEA). I WISH YOU GOOD READING AND UNDERSTANDING.
THIS MAY BE THE LAST MESSAGE TO YOU FROM THIS OFFICE.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

Oh what fun. Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:29 pm

Quote:

I WISH YOU GOOD READING AND UNDERSTANDING.

I read it twice, and it made no sense to me. Very Happy

Have him explain it better to Senator McCain, luckey. Do you get what he's trying to say? Does anybody? Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:38 pm

I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's actually a clever move. He's throwing his Anti Drugs agent character under the bus by having him tell John McCain that he is the one trying to steal the fund. He's hoping John (me) will rat him out to Tim (also me) so that the whole side line will go away.

Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:51 pm

Sorry for the long post, but I have a lot of catching up to do here.

Strike that clever remark. This lad is spinning in very confusing circles now. I responded to his email to McCain by telling him he was an idiot for making an enemy of a potential US president in favor of a lame plan to steal money from the very agency he claims to be loyal to. I also told him I was going to inform Tim (me) that the Anti Drugs is corrupt and to drop all contact with them.

In a panic, he had the bank president email me to reveal the identity of someone who is trying to steal the fund, Let's call him Oliver Twist.

So I sent the original lad character this note:

Tim wrote:

This is all very strange. I got an email from the bank saying they know who the fraudstar is. I also got one from John McCain warning me that the Anti Drugs is corrupt and I should not send them money.

That must be what has happened here. I think the Anti Drugs are trying to take your fund. I really don't want to mess with them. I'm not sure what else we can do. I think the only chance is to find another way to get that money out of the country. If you can get it converted to gold or diamonds, we might be able to avoid a bank transfer that would be monitored. Think about it.

We went back and forth for a few emails with him trying to convince me to send the money to the Anti Drugs, and me telling him I couldn't in clear conscience send any more money to those thieves. He finally got tired of me and sent this:

Quote:

Tim, could you please do me a favour and send your account information to the bank and the anti drugs to change your name and account number, please I plead you in the name of your God that you worship, because I have nothing common to share with you again. I can not wait to see my career is gone by me, therefore I beg you in the name of God. So that I will look for someone else instead of lose the fund and you refuse to forward your account information to the bank. I will be waiting urgently to hear from you soon.

So obviously, this is designed to make me nervous that I will miss out on my big chance. But the fact is, I was told that the Anti Drugs is corrupt by a major US senator, and by his own pretend bank. How can I possibly send them money?

We exchanged at least six more emails arguing that over and over again. I have been talking to him like he is the victim, and he just can't see the truth because his situation is so desperate. I've also given him several options to take his scam in a new direction, but he seems to be too stupid to try anything new.

He is now claiming he has a new partner in Dubai to help him. He sent me several forms of ID that look pretty real. I think they may belong to another victim. And he is still insisting that I transfer the fund to his name. Laughing

This is the most recent exchange:

My lad wrote:

Tim, who is pioneer of this transaction? Are you the one that contacted me or I am the one who contacted you? The man called me 2 times this morning and I told him that you refused to forward his account information to the bank and he said that he is going to send it to the bank by himself, therefore I plead you in the name of our Lord that you worship, do not write to the bank again anti drugs, because the Dubai man is going write the bank and anti drugs. I have sent him the bank and the anti drugs email address and include your email address. Why do you refused to forward to tell the bank to change your account information and to replace the Dubai own? We shall see who is going to win this matter. I will be waiting urgently to hear from you. You are not the one who can help me ok. Do you know how long we have been into this transaction?

My reply:

I wrote:

I will write the bank this morning and tell them that this man is an imposter, and that I have not given my permission for him to do this.

This is not a matter of winning or losing, this is a matter of me protecting you from thieves. It is difficult for me to do this, but I promise you will thank me for it once you come to your senses.

And my email to the bank:

I wrote:

Dear Mr. President,

I am writing today to tell you that another thief is coming to steal my fund. His name is [very long Arab name]. I believe he is a terrorist, and I also believe he is yet another member of the corrupt Anti Drugs who is trying to steal this money. Your security measures were good enough to catch their first thief Mr. Oliver Twist. Now be on the look out for their next attempt at stealing.

Oh, and before I forget, I also received this rather offensive note from the pretend Dubai man:

Quote:

Salam alaikum jamaa.

Alihamadulilahi Robeel Alameem by giving writing you this meaningful note. Iam speaking Arab Language can you speak or write in Arab. I am [a different very long Arab name] from United Arab Emirate,Dubai. First and foremost, My friend [my Lad] telling me about money he want me to receive in my account,i called him now and he is going to tell me, you refusing to send my account to the bank. My friend [my Lad] tell me that you can not capabily handling the money. you too small to doing this biness with [my Lad] and you are poor to handling this Money. I [yet another Arab name],i am very capability to handling this money in my account Dubai or Egypt, i can travel to africa to pay the documenatire anti drugs to carry the money in my account DUBAI. I give you today to send my account to boa and i will send money to drugs people to transfer the money in my account.

I am going to tell you that i am capabily to handling the money in my account. if i am not heard from the boa today i am going to send my bank number to the boa to transfer the money to my account. I brame [my Lad] to be friend American people and i tell [my lad] that American people is enemies of Arab people and i don't want to doing any thing bsiness with american people,Ausubilahi Minasatan Rojeem i reject for doing any bisiness with american, i warn you now now to send my bank number to the bank,do you hear me,i will make trouble with you if you refused to send my account to the bank and i will show you that i am from middle east Arab man. I will send my account to the boa tomorow if you did not send it today.

Allah Hafiz,

[a fourth and hopefully final very long Arab name].

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:23 pm

My lad stuck with his stupid plan to pressure me for a few more emails, and then he finally caved and came up with a work around:

Quote:

Tim, why do you refused to tell the bank to change your account information and to replace the Dubai own? what is your business with the bank? I plead you in the name of our Lord that you worship, do not write to the bank again anti drugs, because the Dubai man is going write the bank and anti drugs for the claiming of the fund. I have sent him the bank and the anti drugs email address and include your email address. We shall see who is going to win this matter. I will be waiting urgently to hear from you.

Do you know how long I have been into this transaction with you? [oh, we're just getting rolling here Laughing

]

My Reply:

Quote:

I have written to the bank to tell them to expect a man from Dubai who is a terrorist. I told them that he is part of the corrupt Anti Drugs and he is trying to steal my fund.

This will come as no surprise to them because they already know that the corrupt Anti Drugs hired Oliver Twist to steal the fund, but their security was able to detect him.

You must not be angry with me. I am doing this for your own good. Your judgment cannot be trusted because you want your fund so badly, you cannot see the that your money is being taken from your pockets while your head is in the clouds.

Try to think about this clearly. I know it is difficult for you, but here are the facts:

* Fact: The Anti Drugs sent Oliver Twist to steal your fund.
* Fact: The bank told me about this
* Fact: Senator John McCain warned me that the Anti Drugs is corrupt and trying to steal the fund.
* Fact: There is no way Senator John McCain could know this because you did not tell him, I did not tell him, and he has no idea about the bank.
* Fact: The man from Dubai is a terrorist. He told me so himself in an email, and he threatened my life and made it clear that he hates Americans and he was laughing at us on Nine Eleven.
* Fact: If you try to get this fund with the terrorist from Dubai, you will be giving the Anti Drugs another chance to steal your fund.
* Fact: I am a good person, I would never let that happen to you.

He sent me another email begging me to stop writing to the bank, and again begging me to transfer the account to the man from Dubai. He also wrote me another threatening email posing as the man from Dubai. And to top it off, he wrote me as the bank to tell me I can go to Holland to get the money.

I sent this to my lad:

Quote:

I wish you could see the light. What good will it do you to throw your money away? The corrupt Anti Drugs has already stolen money from you. They have shown you that they are trying to steal your fund by sending Mr. Oliver to take it away. I know this, the bank knows this, and somewhere in your confused mind, you know it too.

This dear friend of yours from Dubai has told me in two emails now that he is a terrorist and he wishes harm on America, and on me. And you put your trust in him? This makes no sense.

I am a good person. A man who is willing to watch a crime and take no action is no better than a scum bag scamming criminal. It is my moral duty to stop you from allowing crimes to be committed against you.

I shall write the bank again and ask them to arrest the man from Dubai because he is a terrorist and he is trying to steal this fund. You must not worry about me contacting the corrupt Anti Drugs. I have no interest in communicating with known criminals. [Baiters lie. It's part of the job. Laughing

]

I have money now. I can travel to Africa. I can help with a plan that avoids the corrupt Anti Drugs who are trying to steal your money. The choice is yours: die a poor, wrung out, miserable sack of human waste, or live in glory with me as your partner.

And this to the bank:

(My apologies if this is offensive to anyone. My views are not necessarily represented here, I just did this because I know it will push his buttons. )

Quote:

Dear Mr. President,
Thank you for your email. This man from Dubai is a terrorist. He said this to me in two separate emails. He has also threatened my life, and he has told me that he hates America. He is the sort of person who would fly planes into buildings and kill innocent people because he can't understand the words of his own prophet who hates violence. He will probably use the money he steals to purchase explosives to kill women and children and even his own Muslim people. He will do this because he believes that such an act will put him in paradise where he can have sex with virgin women. That is his only reason, it has nothing to do with good and bad, he is only interested in satisfying his penis. This is the sort of person who is trying to steal my fund.

You must have this man arrested immediately.

As for the rest of your message to me. If you are telling me I can get my fund, that is good. I will do what I need to do, but I don't understand what you are asking from me.

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:43 pm

Yikes, this is getting twisty...

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:55 pm

@ luckey - This killed me!
hehehe Laughing

Quote:

I am a good person. A man who is willing to watch a crime and take no action is no better than a scum bag scamming criminal. It is my moral duty to stop you from allowing crimes to be committed against you.

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:23 pm

Well, this thing is still humming along. I have been getting death threats from the Dubai man, pleas to stop communicating from the original lads, notices that the fund has been transfered to Amsterdam and I should go there to get it. Of course I am busy looking for flights, while the bank in Amsterdam was kind enough to book a hotel for me for three nights (the receipt is probably fake, since they didn't argue with me).

I wrote the Dubai man to try to make friends and to see if he would give me 25K to help me get the money which I will gladly share with him. He responded with the original babbling abuse, and told me he knows the fund is in Amsterdam now, and he's going there to get it. So I asked the Amsterdam bank to transfer it to London instead.

I think they are all getting a little impatient with me, I got this priceless desperate lad spew from the original bank today:

Quote:

DEAR VALUE CUSTOMER,

WE HAVE MODIFIED THE THEORY OF GRAVITY WHICH ALL THE ENTIRE MANAGEMENT OF THIS (BOA) HAD MADE A LOT OF EFFORTS AND PROOFS TO ADD SCURITY INORDER TO SAVE YOUR SAID FUND FROM THE HANDS OF THE CRIMINALS WHO ARE MAKING ATTEMPTS TO ROB YOUR SAID INHERITANCE FUND OF (US$25M) . AFTER TRANSFERRED YOUR SAID INHERITANCE FUND TO OUR CORRESPONDENT BANK AT AMSTERDAM TO RESCUE YOU FROM THE CRIMINALS AND WHAT SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR PROBLEM BY NOT TRAVEL TO AMSTERDAM? THE MANAGEMENTOF BOA ARE EXPECTING YOU TO BE HAPPY OVER THE ARRANGEMENT TRANSFERRED YOUR FUND HAS DONE SUCCESFULLY. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ANOTHER SUGGESTION TO TRANSFER THE FUND TO LONDON? WHY COULD YOU MAKE THAT SUCH OF COMMENT?

INRESPONSE OF WORLD BANK TO YOU,THEY HAVE GIVEN ORDER TO RETURN THE SAID FUND BACK TO AFRICA TO RETAIN INTO OUR BANK�S TREASURE ACCOUNT BEING UNCLAIMED FUND, AS YOU�RE NOT IN USE FOR THE SAID FUND. WE�RE ONLY FOLLOWING ORDERS� ,, TIM, I PARTICULARY NOT HAPPY WITH YOU,THE BOA PRESIDENT,DR.PAUL DEREAUMAUX,I WAS DISAPPOINTED BY YOUR ARTICLE BY REPORT WE RECEIVED YESTERDAY FROM OUR CORRESPONDENT BANK AT AMSTERDAM,THE NEITHERLAND BY TELLING THEM TO TRANSFER THE FUND TO LONDON AFTER THEIR HAD MADE A SUCCESSFULLY ARRANGEMENT WITH YOUR HOTEL SHELDULE. WHAT DOES THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN BY TRANSFER THE FUND TO LONDON?

HOWEVER, ARE YOU NOT THE REAL BENEFICIARY TO THE SAID FUND? THEN, WHY ARE YOU BEING AFRAID OF THE DUBAI MAN? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE SAID FUND OF (US$25M) WAS APPROVED BY YOUR NAME MR.TIM ANDERSON? MEANWHILE THE WORLD BANK HAS WARNED THE DUBAI MAN; HE HAS BEEN WARNED THAT ANY FURTHER COMMENT OR ATTEMPT FROM THE SO-CALL ALHAJI SULEMAN HAMED SHALL BE ARREST IMMEDIATELY LIKELY AS SADDAM HUESSEIN WAS CAPTURED AND FINALLY KILLED. YOU�RE THEREFORE ADVICE TO FEEL FREE AND TO MAKE THIS JOURNEY TO AMSTERDAM TODAY AND TO RECEIVE YOUR SAID FUND TRANSFER INTO YOUR DESTINATION ACCOUNT. NOTE THAT THE WORLD BANK HAS GIVEN YOU THE MANDATE OF 72HRS TO RECEIVE YOUR SAID INHERITANCE FUND OF (US$25M) WHICH YOU HAVE ONLY (3) BANKING DAYS LEFT TO RE-CALL THE FUND BACK TO AFRICA BEING UNCLAIMED FUND.

I�LL GLAD THAT THE U.S.MILITARY FORCES FINALLY KILLED TERORRIST LEADER ABU MOUSAB AL-ZARQAWI (JUNE 19). SO, YOU SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID TO ANY ONE, BECAUSE PRESIDENT BUSH MUST BEGIN TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE INSTEAD OF FORCE.DEMOCRAZY CAN NOT BE EXPORTED FROM A LAND WHERE HUMAN RIGHTS ARE ABUSED AND IGNORED. DEMOCRAZY IS NOT A COALITION OF WILLING ARMED FORCES BUT A COALITION OF PEOPLE. THE WORLD�S PROBLEMS TODAY CAN BE SOLVED ONLY BY INCULCATING THE MAXIM THAT THE IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD RATHER THAN THE ONE THAT SAYS POWER FLOWS FROM THE BAWEL OF GUN. UNDERSTANDING THE WLOGIC OF VIOLENCE IN MIDDLE EAST AND WHAT THE WORLD CAN DO TO FIND PEACE. MIDDLE EAST IN 1948 OR 1956 OR 1967 AND 1973. U.S. INTERVENCES AND PERSUADES ONE OR BOTH SIDE TO STOP TERORRIST. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE BRITISH PRIME MINISTER TONY BLAIR IS PERSONALLY PRESSING PRESIDENT G.W.BUSH TO LOOK INTO THE MATTER? I FINALLY ADVICE TO STOP AFRAID OF ANYONE REGARDING YOUR FUND AND I SHALL BE GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU THAT YOUR SAID FUND HAS BEEN FINALLY TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

THANKS FOR ANTICIPATION CO-OPERATION.

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:16 pm

Quote:

DEMOCRAZY CAN NOT BE EXPORTED

Excellent.

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:26 pm

Quote:

WE HAVE MODIFIED THE THEORY OF GRAVITY

Lad physicists prove Newton and Einstein wrong! Film at 11!

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