Church Life Is Not Fulfilling For My Lad -- UPDATES!

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Seems that some members of the Church of the are not very thankful for all the Church has done for them:

Quote:

Greetings my Pastor Lea IN HIS NAME. Pastor I indeed show all the appreciation of your communications to me and understand in HIS name, I think I have come to that stage of me knowing my fellow members in the Church of ministry, having in contact whit few of them, shearing a member hood whit them IN HIS NAME.

And sometimes Pastor I feel like I don�t rely know what I�m doing, because people are rely talking out there and saying many things about me being proud whit a Church that the have not seeing a prove of there progress in my life, because when I was not in this Church things was fine to me but for long that have join this Church, things started getting moor difficult for me. Laughing

Pastor not that I am thou tine or complaining, but I want dos people that are saying all this to come back again and open their mouth and pries LIFESON for HIS great work and power indeed.

Pastor Lea. I am your son Henry. I need your courage now!!

IN HIS NAME,

Henry.

And here I was about to make him an official Pastor for ALL of South Africa....tsk tsk.

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:32 pm

Quote:

because when I was not in this Church things was fine to me but for long that have join this Church, things started getting moor difficult for me

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Your lad and mine need to get together! They are both skeptical of the church life.

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:32 pm

Oh ye of little faith, be strong, stand up, go against the heathens, and cast them aside, for is it not written, You never know what you'll get till you unwrap it, koan 43, Mrs Cosmopile

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:32 pm

Oh, it just makes you WEEP with compassion, doesn't it?

Laughing

<-- That IS weeping, isn't it?

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:34 pm

He wants all your courage!!!
Run Forest, run!

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:38 pm

The more difficulties he endures the richer he will be rewarded in the end. That is God's way. Rolling Eyes

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Yeah, it's been rough for him. On top of his recent disillusionments, he also failed Part I of his Ordination Exam:

Quote:

Dear brother Henry,

Greetings in HIS name. Attached you will see two denials of portions of Part I of the Ordination Exam. I would ask that you re-do these questions and prove to Pastor Tomas Sawwyer that you are indeed ready for your next step.

Please forward to me your revised answers and I will make sure they are reviewed by Pastor Sawwyer as soon as possible.

Do not despair!! The remaining answers were accepted, so that means you answered correctly on more than half of the questions!

I have heard your other email about your bad attitude. All that I can say is that you must pray to and HE will bring you good things. However, your life must be not with sin or else nothing good will come.

Once you are a pastor, then you will have not only the understanding of to keep you warm at night, but a small office and some money to spend on supporting your teachings.

All will be well my friend.

IN HIS NAME,

Pastor Lea

Here was one of the denials:

Cheers to Marvinator for the Church "Denial" stamp. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:06 pm

Nothing wrong with this mugu that could not be cured by a retreat - - a spiritual pilgrimage to a holy spot (at least 200 miles away), coupled with fasting and prayer (mostly fasting).

Bruin

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:21 pm

The lads must think by now, that the world is full of small, independent churches, that crave to give away big dolla' for some preaching.
pfft

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:38 pm

BRUIN wrote:

Nothing wrong with this mugu that could not be cured by a retreat - - a spiritual pilgrimage to a holy spot (at least 200 miles away), coupled with fasting and prayer (mostly fasting).

Bruin

You forgot about the bit where his praying has to be done under the hot sun dressed only in a tinfoil suit.

Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:59 pm

Close, Boobs - - this particular denomination requires nudity.

Bruin

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 70

LIFESON

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:20 pm

JMRazor wrote:

I want dos people...

He also wants a 80's tech guy?

Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:12 am

A ceremonial ritual will prove his devotion to the church.
The purification ritual will cleanse his soul Laughing

I don't know why these mugus are not true believers. The church can do so
much for them.
Great job on your bait

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 8:47 am

@JMR - Hilarious! Funny stuff! Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:12 am

^^^^I will second that - awesome stuff JMR and the Marvinator! Thumbs up

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Thanks all for the kind thoughts. Below are Henry's answers to Part II of the Ordination exam...some of them are really priceless, however it's a shame they are not handwritten as required (he claimed he is too poor to scan each one, yet look at the last one!):

Answer Number 1:

Answer Number 2:

Answer Number 3:

Answer Number 4 (I love this one Laughing

):

Answer Number 5:

Answer Number 6:

Answer Number 7:

Last Page (note he scans this one but no kiss!! Evil or Very Mad

):

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:06 pm

I love his answer to number 6. "Yes there is!" hehehe Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:19 pm

Nice, considering he is already absolutely LOVING the church, although he isn't a member yet. Razz

The badly cropped signatures are one of my favourite details most fake docs use Razz

EDIT: He is wearing silver(?) jewellery ...didn't your church order all silver to be donated to HIS cause?

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:22 pm

I want a snowdog. Crying or Very sad

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

kurat wrote:

Nice, considering he is already absolutely LOVING the church, although he isn't a member yet. Razz

He actually is a member -- see my signature for his tattoo and other membership rites. This is one of my longest baits and this guy keeps coming back for more. He is now in the process of being ordained as a pastor for South Africa. Wink

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:33 pm

I like how he admitted to stealing people's money.

What the heck's a "snowdog"?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

^^^

The entire bait is based on the Canadian prog rock band, RUSH. All the characters, the poems, etc. are derived therefrom. Even the name of the Church is based on a Rush song.

For more information on the Snowdog: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/By-Tor_&_The_Snow_Dog

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:26 pm

The_Boobs wrote:

JMRazor wrote:

I want dos people...

He also wants a 80's tech guy?

Laughing

Pah! I was using DOS in 1969.

JMR, I'm disappointed in you. Letting him get away with not doing it by hand. Convert the forms to PDF. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Don't worry -- he's getting a new "Denial" on these as well.... Wink

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