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 Church Life Is Not Fulfilling For My Lad -- UPDATES!

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Seems that some members of the Church of the are not very thankful for all the Church has done for them:

Quote:
Greetings my Pastor Lea IN HIS NAME. Pastor I indeed show all the appreciation of your communications to me and understand in HIS name, I think I have come to that stage of me knowing my fellow members in the Church of ministry, having in contact whit few of them, shearing a member hood whit them IN HIS NAME.

And sometimes Pastor I feel like I donít rely know what Iím doing, because people are rely talking out there and saying many things about me being proud whit a Church that the have not seeing a prove of there progress in my life, because when I was not in this Church things was fine to me but for long that have join this Church, things started getting moor difficult for me. Laughing
Pastor not that I am thou tine or complaining, but I want dos people that are saying all this to come back again and open their mouth and pries LIFESON for HIS great work and power indeed.

Pastor Lea. I am your son Henry. I need your courage now!!


IN HIS NAME,

Henry.


And here I was about to make him an official Pastor for ALL of South Africa....tsk tsk.

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Last edited by JMRazor on Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
because when I was not in this Church things was fine to me but for long that have join this Church, things started getting moor difficult for me


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Your lad and mine need to get together! They are both skeptical of the church life.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh, it just makes you WEEP with compassion, doesn't it?

Laughing <-- That IS weeping, isn't it?

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kurat
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He wants all your courage!!!
Run Forest, run!

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The more difficulties he endures the richer he will be rewarded in the end. That is God's way. Rolling Eyes

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, it's been rough for him. On top of his recent disillusionments, he also failed Part I of his Ordination Exam:

Quote:

Dear brother Henry,

Greetings in HIS name. Attached you will see two denials of portions of Part I of the Ordination Exam. I would ask that you re-do these questions and prove to Pastor Tomas Sawwyer that you are indeed ready for your next step.

Please forward to me your revised answers and I will make sure they are reviewed by Pastor Sawwyer as soon as possible.

Do not despair!! The remaining answers were accepted, so that means you answered correctly on more than half of the questions!

I have heard your other email about your bad attitude. All that I can say is that you must pray to and HE will bring you good things. However, your life must be not with sin or else nothing good will come.

Once you are a pastor, then you will have not only the understanding of to keep you warm at night, but a small office and some money to spend on supporting your teachings.

All will be well my friend.

IN HIS NAME,

Pastor Lea


Here was one of the denials:

Image

Cheers to Marvinator for the Church "Denial" stamp. Very Happy

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BRUIN
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nothing wrong with this mugu that could not be cured by a retreat - - a spiritual pilgrimage to a holy spot (at least 200 miles away), coupled with fasting and prayer (mostly fasting).

Bruin

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kurat
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The lads must think by now, that the world is full of small, independent churches, that crave to give away big dolla' for some preaching.
pfft

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The_Boobs
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

BRUIN wrote:
Nothing wrong with this mugu that could not be cured by a retreat - - a spiritual pilgrimage to a holy spot (at least 200 miles away), coupled with fasting and prayer (mostly fasting).

Bruin


You forgot about the bit where his praying has to be done under the hot sun dressed only in a tinfoil suit.

Twisted Evil

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BRUIN
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Close, Boobs - - this particular denomination requires nudity.

Bruin

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Subma Shingun
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

LIFESON Very Happy
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The_Boobs
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

JMRazor wrote:
I want dos people...


He also wants a 80's tech guy?

Laughing

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rumbero
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A ceremonial ritual will prove his devotion to the church.
The purification ritual will cleanse his soul Laughing

I don't know why these mugus are not true believers. The church can do so
much for them.
Great job on your bait

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 8:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@JMR - Hilarious! Funny stuff! Laughing clapping

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notobescammed
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^I will second that - awesome stuff JMR and the Marvinator! Thumbs up clapping Thumbs up

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks all for the kind thoughts. Below are Henry's answers to Part II of the Ordination exam...some of them are really priceless, however it's a shame they are not handwritten as required (he claimed he is too poor to scan each one, yet look at the last one!):

Answer Number 1:
Image


Answer Number 2:
Image


Answer Number 3:
Image


Answer Number 4 (I love this one Laughing):
Image


Answer Number 5:
Image


Answer Number 6:
Image


Answer Number 7:
Image


Last Page (note he scans this one but no kiss!! Evil or Very Mad):
Image

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love his answer to number 6. "Yes there is!" hehehe Laughing

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kurat
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice, considering he is already absolutely LOVING the church, although he isn't a member yet. Razz

The badly cropped signatures are one of my favourite details most fake docs use Razz

EDIT: He is wearing silver(?) jewellery ...didn't your church order all silver to be donated to HIS cause?

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Mugatu
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I want a snowdog. Crying or Very sad

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

kurat wrote:
Nice, considering he is already absolutely LOVING the church, although he isn't a member yet. Razz


He actually is a member -- see my signature for his tattoo and other membership rites. This is one of my longest baits and this guy keeps coming back for more. He is now in the process of being ordained as a pastor for South Africa. Wink

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ChainYanker
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I like how he admitted to stealing people's money.

What the heck's a "snowdog"?

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^

The entire bait is based on the Canadian prog rock band, RUSH. All the characters, the poems, etc. are derived therefrom. Even the name of the Church is based on a Rush song.

For more information on the Snowdog: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/By-Tor_&_The_Snow_Dog

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The_Boobs wrote:
JMRazor wrote:
I want dos people...


He also wants a 80's tech guy?

Laughing


Pah! I was using DOS in 1969.



JMR, I'm disappointed in you. Letting him get away with not doing it by hand. Convert the forms to PDF. Laughing

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Don't worry -- he's getting a new "Denial" on these as well.... Wink

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