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 "An Ice Cream Van, a football pitch, and a midget....&q

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EddieFantastic
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 1:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A great site.
I didn't realise what an art form it had become.
Here is the complete emails word for word between Jerry Nzico and mysely (Freddie Gobshite).
He's stopped writing now.
Let me know what you think.



Dr. Jerry Nzico
CORPORATE TEL NO:+27-83-761-8836
DIRECT TEL NO: +871-763-593750
DIRECT FAX NO: +871-763-593751
EMAIL:[email protected]


Dear Sir,

FUNDS TRANSFER PROPOSAL.

I am Dr. Jerry Nzico, a native of Cape Town in South Africa and I am an Executive Accountant with the South Africa Department of Mining & Natural Resources. First and foremost, I apologized using this medium to reach you for a transaction/business of this magnitude, but this is due to confidentiality and prompt access reposed on this medium. Be informed that a member of the South Africa Export Promotion Council (SEPC) who was at the Government delegation to your country during a trade exhibition gave your enviable credentials/particulars to me.

I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described hereunder for the benefit of all parties and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction. Within the Department of Mining & Natural Resources where I work as an Executive Accountant and with the cooperation of four other top officials, we have in our possession as overdue payment bills totaling Eighteen Million, Five Hundred Thousand U. S. Dollars (US$18,500,000.00) which we want to transfer abroad with the assistance and cooperation of a foreign company/individual to receive the said fund on our behalf or a reliable foreign non-company account to receive such funds. More so, we are handicapped in the circumstances, as the South Africa Civil Service Code of Conduct does not allow us to operate offshore account hence your importance in the whole transaction.

This amount (US$18.5m) represents the balance of the total contract value executed on behalf of my Department by a foreign contracting firm, which we the officials over-invoiced deliberately. Though the actual contract cost have been paid to the original contractor, leaving the balance in the tune of the said amount which we have in principles gotten approval to remit by Telegraphic Transfer (T.T) to any foreign bank account you will provide by filing in an application through the Justice Ministry here in South Africa for the transfer of rights and privileges of the former contractor to you. I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, your share of the sum will be 30% of the US$18.5 million, 60% for us and 10% for taxation and miscellaneous expenses. The business itself is 100% safe, on your part provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality. Also your area of specialization is not a hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction.

I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not
disappoint me. Endeavor to contact me immediately through my secured email address [email protected] whether or not you are interested in this deal.
If you are not, it will enable me contact other another Foreign partner with recommendation to carry out this deal. I want to assure you that myself and my partners are in a position to make the payment of this claim possible provided you can give us a very strong assurance and guarantee that our share will be secured and Please remember to treat this matter as very confidential matter; because we will not comprehend with any form of exposure as we are still in active Government Service and remember once again that time is of the essence in this business.

I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation. I am available to entertain any questions concerning the clarity of this transaction.

Yours faithfully,

Dr. Jerry Nzico

Hi Jerry,
Wow, $5.5m for me, I will be so rich!
Of course I will help you!
Let me know what I need to do.
Freddie Gobshite

Dear Freddie,


Thanks for your swift response to my proposal .

For purpose of clarity, we are five-man member of the Contract Review Committee (CRC) of the Department of Minerals and Energy. We have been vested with the authority to appraise and approve contracts according to the priority of the Government of South Africa. By virtue of our official positions in the Contract Review Committee, we have been able to manipulate the contract award documents and finally secured for ourselves a contract sum of US$18.5M (Eighteen Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) only, which was originally awarded and completed by an Amerivcan company and now we need your assistance to transfer the funds into a safe offshore account.


Consequently, we want to front you/your company as the new beneficiary of the sum of US$18.5M. For this purpose, we will procure and send to you immediately the appropriate documents (i.e. Subsequent Power of Attorney and indemnity form to the Reserve Bank of South Africa through the supervising body - Debt Reconciliation Committee (DRC) in which you will fill and append your signature indicating you/your company name as the new beneficiary for prompt remittance of the funds (US$18.5M) into your nominated account.With the appropriate documentation, the ownership of the contract sum will be transferred to you after the validation and authentication of the documents at the High court in Pretoria(We are going to take care of this costs).

We intend arriving at your place with the relevant and original papers/documents within 48 hours as soon as you receive notification of transfer from the South African Reserve Bank before the funds are finally transferred into your nominated vital account.We will want to conclude this transaction as soon as possible.

In this regard, we expect you fill the form and fax back to me immediately in order to facilitate quick approval of the subsequent power of attorney and remember this business is 100% risk-free as long as you and I maintain maximum confidentiality.

My colleagues and I would require your personal guarantee concerning the safety/availability of our share on demand when the funds is credited to your nominated account and advice us accordingly on high yielding investment portfolios in your city. Note that if you follow my instructions religiously, we will conclude this transaction within the next five(5) working days.

Please, endeavor to observe the required level of confidentiality as we are still in active service I will expect you give this project utmost priorities in order for us to conclude this as scheduled. Expecting your quick response by calling me immediately to initiate preliminary applications to relevant legal. Call me immediately for further clarifications and discussion.

My Direct Confidential Telephone Number is 00-871-76-3593-750
Or Send me a fax on 00-871-76-3593-751

Waiting to hear from you.

Regards.

Dr. Jerry Nzico

Note: Complete The Form and Fax it to me and call me so that we can discuss further.

Hi Jerry,
I am very interested in your proposal and am ready to fax you over my details.
I just have a couple of quick questions before I do.
Who was it that recommended me to you? I donít know any South Africans.
So how does this work? I give you my bank details, you transfer $18.5m into it, I then transfer roughly $12m back to another account?
Whatís to stop me running off with all the money? This comes back to the person who recommended me. He must trust me, and you must trust him with such a large sum of money.
Whatís to stop you from emptying my bank account?
Donít get me wrong, I like money and would like to do business with you.
Freddy Gobshite

DEAR FREDDY,

THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE TO MY EMAIL, BASED ON THE QUESTIONS YOU ASKED, I WILL LIKE TO NOTIFY YOU THAT YOUR CREDENTIALS WERE GIVEN TO US AS A MERE RECOMMENDATION BY MY COLLEAGUE WHO WAS ON A TOUR OF EUROPE AND UNITED KINGDOM ON BILATERAL TRADE TALKS, NOT THAT HE KNOWS YOU PERSONALLY.

ON THE ISSUE OF YOU MAKING AWAY WITH OUR ENTITLEMENT IS WHAT WE HAVE TO DISCUSS ABOUT BEFORE WE PROCEED THAT IS WHY WE HAVE OFFERED YOU 30% FOR YOUR MAXIMUM COPERATION.

THE QUESTION OF WE EMTYING YOUR ACCOUNT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY BECAUSE WE ARE NOT THAT TYPE OF PEOPLE AND MORE SO THE ACCOUNT YOU ARE GOING TO PROVIDE CAN BE ZERO BALANCE PROVIDED YOU HAVE ABSOLUTE CONTROL OVER IT .

I WILL APPRECIATE IF YOU CALL ME IMMEDIATELY ON 00871-76-3593-750 FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS MUTUAL TRANSACTION.

REGARDS.

DR. JERRY NZICO

NOTE:YOU CAN NOW FAX ME THE COMPLETED FORM.


Hey Jerry Man,
I must apologise, Iíve been one busy motherfucker!
If it aint fuckin this, itís fuckin that!
I tell you what, Iíve been tryiní to get my bank details from my bank. Have you tried dealing with the bank over here? Theyíre a bunch of Fucking Morons!
Of course as soon as I do manage to get those details I will send them of to you.
$5.5million, man I still canít believe my luck!
Please let me know that youíll wait for me, I want your money!
Best Regards
Your Friend,
Freddie Gobshite

Dear Freddy,

Thanks for the mail. now i want you to give me call so that we can have a discussion or give your private phone number i can reach you for urgently as we have to move fast to secure this funds.
Regards,
Dr. J.Nzico

Jerry, my man,
You would not believe what Iíve been through these last couple of days.
My bank wouldnít give me my own account details, said I couldnít be trusted with them.
So I figured Iíd open a new account, at the FUCKING SUPERMARKET!
Well, I went in there, said Iíd have ď2 packs of fags and a FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT please!Ē, the lady behind the counter said Iíd have to go the customer services counter and fill out the necessary forms. I said ďFuck That Man, just give me a bastard bank account!Ē
In the end these security goons rushed along and threw me the FUCK OUT!
I have a couple more options Jerry, what if I was able to get you my Mothers bank account details, Iíve seen her cheque book lying around. Sheís got plenty of money in there.
Would that do?
All the best, and sorry for the inconvenience, but I really want your money. I didnít realise what wankers bankers are.
Best Regards
Freddie Gobshite

Dear Freddy,

I have told you before that i do not need your nomey that is in your account, if youcan not open another account and you feel that your mother's account would not cause us any problem when we want to take our shares then let use it. I need you to give me a call as you get this mail.

Thanks,
Dr. Jerry Nzico.

Jerry, my man,
Boy oh boy, are you patient.
Sorry, I wont be able to get to a phone today, Iím working out on a building site.
Weíre constructing a building in my neighbours back garden, theyíre on holiday for two weeks in Greece so weíve moved the fence between the two gardens right onto their property and weíre now building our own summer house there. Jerry Man, itís gonna be whizz for the summer!
As soon as your money comes through Iím gonna buy their back garden outright for double what itís worth, I canít wait to see the look on their faces.
Do you wonna know what else Iím gonna buy?
An Ice Cream Van, a football pitch, and a midget to mow my lawn.
How long will it take for the money to get into my account Jerry?
I need that money, Man. Iím gonna be a millionaire, itíll me whizz!
Sooner rather than laterÖ.
Freddie Gobshite

Freddy,

We have to move in a fast pace to enable us get this funds into your nominated account. I need you to call me, so that we can get to know each very well.
Thanks.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry,
How can I say this?
Iím emailing you from a Fucking Police Station! Let me tell you what happenedÖ..
We were busy erecting our new summer house on my next door neighbours back lawn, when the motherfuckers only come home early!
My neighbour, Mr Black, starts ranting on about how it is their property and we have no fucking right to build a summer house on it! Iím telling you Jerry, he was mad. So I tell them about my mate Jerry who is giving me over three million pounds for helping him out, and that in a couple of weeks I would buy his fucking garden for double what it was worth.
He said I was talking bullshit, so I smacked the *DELETED* in the mouth. No fucker calls me a liar!
So his wife calls the Pigs and they come around, sirens blaring, truncheons smacking me across the back of my head as Iím kicking Mr Black in the Ribs.

I apologise for the delay again, I should be out of here later. Iíll get the account details of my Mothers account like I said and Fax it across to you.
Many Thanks for your everlasting patients,
Freddie Gobshite
Oz_Baiter
Cryogenically Frozen


Joined: 25 Nov 2003
Posts: 2308
Location: wherever I want to be!


PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 1:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Moved to a more appropriate forum

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