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 O captain, my captain.

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Wally Combover
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 54


PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

David Akinbulu (as the Lad) and Armitage shanks (as The baiter) start in:

O Captain, My captain.

or

How I made my lad hand-write me a two page letter of apology.

Please note:
this goes on a bit. I have cut it down, getting rid of most of the mundane parts, but I think it ends brilliantly. If you read nothing else if it, scroll to the bottom and work backwards.

The letter of apology is well worth a read.

Lets begin....

From: David Akinbulu
Date: 17/2/07
Subject. letter from david

Dear sir.


How are you sir.i hope you are fine.My name is david,i am 15 years old boy,i am a citizen of america,but i live now in azerbaijan.My late father is a bussiness man hear in azerbaijan .
The main purpose of sending you this mail is that i need your help to get out from this country azeraijan ,i lot my famlies on 22/1/2007 by this azerbaijan citizen,they wear kill my the azerbaijan citizen so now i am alone,and my father befor he die gave me a cheuqe of $12.3 million to keep,so i dont know what to do now,Please i need your help,this azerbaijan people hate american.so i need you help to safe my life,and to help me in coming back to the united state to futher my education,and keep this cheuqe for me in bank,i am a small boy,i dont know what to do,i have send e-mail to the america embassy,i was told that i need to move far a way from this people and contact somene to help me on the internet,i need help,please i will be waitting for your reply.

Letter from david.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David Akinbulu


Thank you for that wonderful call you made to my daughter for her 6th birthday. She was so proud to speak to her new uncle in Africa! You made our family very happy in this troubled time.

How are things coming along with the anti-laundering certificate from Togo? I sent barrister Mbaro the payment for his fees and certificate dues yesterday. The last Western Union installment was $800, so the $5000 he said were necessary are complete now. I'll be expecting the first payment of $500,000 to our joint account by next week. The jerks at my bank are really going to be surprised about all that money.

Is the new cell phone I sent you working well? I certainly hope so.

With all the best wishes for your family,

Armitage Shanks
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 19/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

thanks so much for your caring and love
i donr\t realy no what you are daying,the you want to help me out of this country,i need to know,please i need your help god bless you in jesus name

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David


Hi David.

Did you not get all the money i sent you?

I was going to send you more when you recieved it? Is it you, or am I sending money to the wrong person.

Your lover,

Armitage

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 19/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

i dont under stand you,i dont no about any money you sent.so tell me more ,on how you sent money.i have never talk to you,i only reply you ones,if you want to help me out of azerbaijan,let me no,and help me in clearing my late dad cheuqe from the sercurity company.thanks

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David


Hi David,

I am so sorry, I thought you were another David I know from africa who I have been helping by sending money to him.

If I have the means, i would also like to help you out. Please let me know more about yourself.

Kind Regards,
Armitage Shanks

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 19/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

thanks soi much for your love and caring,over my life,i am so happy.
as i told you in my letter sent to you,i lot my familiy,hear in azerbaijan,azerbaijan is a country,cloes to russia.so all i wwill want you to do now,is to help me back to the united state and help me clear my late dad cheuqe from the sercurity company,i need your reply on that,please help me,may god help you too in jesus name,long life to you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David


I do feel bad for you david, and would love to help you, but I am very busy and very rich, and am not sure that I can do this?

What are your ideas for how I can help you?

Kind Regards,
Armitage Shanks

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 20/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

thanks for your love and caring.
you see,with god all things are possible,i want you to help me with all your heart,all you can d is to help me with $5000 to clear my late dad cheuqe from the sercurity company,and help me out from this azerbaijan,please help me,i want to futher my education,my english is poor,help me,please.reply me soon.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David



I would very much like to help you david, and I will if I can, but I must ask you a question.

Why does it cost $5000 to clear the cheque?

Armitage


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 20/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

thanks very much for the question.i ask the sercurity company about same question,i was told is for tax and goverment fees,and i confirm it so,b/cos the cheuqe amopunt is $12.3 millon.so i belive the,and the peopel in the sercurity company are very kid to me,they will be happy if they see you help me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David



Hi David,

That is a lot for them to charge you to clear a cheque! I am so angry at your authorities that I think I will help you.


I will agree to help you if you do something for me? Will you agree to do it? I will send you them money as soon as you have.

Kind Regards,

Armitage


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 20/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

thanks do much for your love and caring
so how the you want to sent the money to me hear in azernaij,the you want me to use the money to clear the cheuqe and sent it to you,for pick up,i need more information.reply me soon.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David



When I send the money I will send it via moneygram.

But before I send it, I need a photo of you, and you must follow my instructions.

I need a photo of you holding a large sign, with large black letters that say "Armitage Shanks"

If you do this for me, then I will send you the money.

Best Regards,

Armitage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 20/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

thanks,i am very hapy for you,if you need the pick,no problme,i will get you,may befor friday i will sent you the photo holding what you told me to do,i dont think there is money gram hear,you ca sent it by western union,may god bless you for your help in jesus name.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David


How goes the progress with the photo you promised?

Best Regards,
Armitage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 21/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

thanks for your reply,i am very soon. happy for you,may god blee you,i will try as soon as possblie to send you the cheuqe and my bank account information,which the sercurity company open on my name,western union is ver far to wear i live,i think bank transfer is better,may god bless you and give you long life.thanks.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David



I know that david, but HAVE YOU GOT THE PHOTO YOU PROMISED ME?

Best Regards,
Armitage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 21/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY AND LOVE,I AM VERY HAPY,I WILL SEND YOU THE PHOTO BY TOMMOWWOR MONRING,MY FRIEND IN CHURCH PROMIS ETO GET ME ONE,I WILL SEND IT TO YOU,OKAY.REPLY ME SOON.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 22/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

Dear armitage.

thanks so much for your love and care,over my life,may God my lord help your kids in life and in problme.
hear is my photo i promise to get you,i am very sory to delay you,i had to get a camera from our church menber,please forgive me for that.
so hear is my pic,holding the sing.

so if you wnat to send the money to me by western union
dont send the $5000 onces to azerbaijan
i need to pay the sercurity company half payemnt to receive the cheuqe and send it to you.

send $1500+,$1500,+1500,+500

that mean you are going to send me $ mtcn control number,along with your address,so i can send you the cheuqe.


receivers name:david akinbulu
address:14 Mamedaliyev Street
Baku 1005
Azerbaijan


may god help you,i hope to hear from you soon,long life to you,thanks for standing like a father,motheer to me,may the lord my god help you,thanks for making me happy for the rest of my life.

Image



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 24/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

Dear Armitage

i want to know if u have seen my poto,reply me soon,and have you send the money.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David


Hi David,

I am sorry for my delay in reply. As you know I cannot access anything on weekends so please forgive me. I am doing my best to help you.

I am preparing transactions with my bank for money to send to you, but I would like you to help me out a bit more if you could?

Will you help me feel more safe and secure about this transaction?

While I believe you are honest and legitimate, and I believe you are telling me the truth, I would feel happier and safer if you could prove to me that you are really in the country of Azerbaijan.

I would like to see a photo of you near a famous and well known land mark in Azerbaijan, this way I know you really are there. In that photo I would like you to be holding a sign saying "Titan Mynuts"

This would make me happy and more confident in the transaction, and I might even include a little extra money for you to buy yourself an iPod or mobile phone or some such item.

Please do this for me, and I will be sending your money shortly,

Best Regards,

Armitage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hi David,

I hope you are well, I am just wondering what are your thoughts on my previous email.

I hope to talk to you soon.

best regards,

Armitage


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 26/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david


Dear Armitage.
thanks so much for your love and caring over my life,as you promise me,just try to help me,so i can get the cheuqe from the sercurity company and sent it.i told you it will be hard for m,e to pick up $5000 once,in western union,you can sent it 4 times,by sending it $1500+1500+1500+500,so you have to send me 4 mtcn number.please just try to help me,may the lord probide for you and familiy.god bless you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

That is all I need, thankyou David.

It means a lot that you will do this, I will feel so much more comfortable.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 26/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

I PROMISE YOU I WILL GET YOU THE PIC,BUT AS FOR NOW I NEED TO BE IN CHURCH,AFTER CHURCH I WILL TRY AND GET A CAMERA AND TAKE THE PHOTO AND SENT YOU,GOD HELP YOU TOO,AMEN.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 27/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

Dear Armitage.
thanks so much for your love and care.the bible as with faith all things are possible.i want ytou to fell comfortable with me david,as you help me,may god help you,help me by clearing the cheuqe from the sercurity company.i am very poor boy,the cheuqe is only my hope,i have try to do my best for you,by take the photo you need,is very hard for me to get a camera,i have tro beg our church menber for that,just put you faith in God and in me,with god all thing are possible,long life to you Armitage.reply me soon.

Image

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hello David,

Thankyou for you wonderful photo, but I do not think you understood my instructions.

I need you to take that photo near a famous landmark in Azerbaijan. That is the important part so that I know you are really in that country. I need this so I can feel more secure to trust you.

best regards,

Armitage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 27/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

DEAR Armitage
thanks so much for your love nad care,i am in azerbaijan,i want you to belive me on that,i dont have a camera to take more pic,as you need,i had given back the camera to my friend,that gave me,so i can only see my friend on sunday in church,please try and help me by sending $1000,so i can get a camera too,just belive and have faith in God.
reply me soon.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 27/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

DEAR Armitage
I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU,IF YOU CAN WIAT FOR SUNDAY,I WILL ME VERY HAPPY,I WILL WANT YOU TO SHOW LOVE FOR ME,NOWBY JUST SENDING ME $100 NOW,FOR ME TO GET A CAMERA,AFTER I GET IT,I WLL TRY AND GET THE PIC FOR YOU,BEFOR YOU SEND ME THE $5000.JUST SEND THE $100 NOW ONLINE FOR ME,I WILL BE HAPPY IF I CAN BUY MY CAMERA MY SELF,THEN BOWWORRING FROM FRIEND,IS NOT SURE FOR ME I WILL GET IT ON SUNDAY,JUST HELP ME
AS I TOLD YOU I LOS MY DAD AND MUM,ALONG WITH MY BROTHER HEAR IN AZERBAIJAN,THEY WEAR KILLED MY THE AZERBAIJAN CITIZEN,ON THERE WAY TO CHURCH.THAT TIME I WAS SICK IN THE HOSPITAL.SO HELP ME.I ONLY HAVE HOPE IN YOU.SO IF YOU HELP ME,I WILL SENT YOU THE CHEUQE WITH THE SERCURITY COMPANY

YOU CAN SEND ME $100 ONLINE,ON WESTERN UNION WEB SITE.AND SEND ME THE CONTROL NUMBER,SO I CAN GET A CAMERA,PLEASE DO IT FOR AS A FATHER TO SON.FOR ME TO BELIVE YOU AND TAKE YOU AS MY FATHER,SHOWS HOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
THANKS
REPLY SOON.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. Re: letter from david

DEAR "Armitage

THANKS SO MUCH.I LOT MY FAMILIY,ON THE 22/1/2007.I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN THEY TOLD ME,THAT MY FAMILY WAS KILLED MY THE AZERBAIJAN CITIZEN,JUST B/COS THEY ARE GOING TO CHURCH.

AND MY LAST DAD HAD A CHUEUQE WITH THE SERCURITY COMPANY,A CHEUQE OF $12.3 MILLON,SO THAT IS WHY I NEED YOUR HELP OF $5000 TO CLEAR THE CHEUQE,I WENT TO THE SERCURITY COMPANY WITH MY PASTOR I WAS TOLD THAT I NEED TO MAKE A PAYMENT OF $5000 TO RECEIVE THE CHEUQE,FOR TAX PAYMENT,SO I NEED YOUR HELP TO CLEAR THIS CHUEUQE,TAHT IS WHY I AM MAILING YOU FOR HELP,SO I CAN SENT YOU THIS CHEUQE FOR YOU TO HELP ME,I AM TOO YOUND,I DONT WANT PEOPEL TO FOOL ME,SO TELL ME HOW YOU CAN HELP ME.
I DONT HAVE NO FAMILIY,I ONLY SLEEP IN CHURCH.I NEED TO COME TO USA,TO FUTHER MY EDUCATION,,MY EBGLISH IS BAD.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hi David

The 22/1/2007 was a Monday. Why were your family on their way to church on a monday?

You never mentioned all this money before. Please dont pretend you have a large cheque when you really dont. I am happy to just give you money without you sending me anything.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. thanks,i want your reply now.

Dear Armitage
thanks so much for your reply,i am telling you the truth,i dont remnber the day,i think id di a mistake,it was 21 to22 /1/2007.when they weare killed,i told you i was sick in the hospital,please how can you help,the cheuqe is for real,i need your help.
i know you wnat to help,i told you in my first email about the cheuqe,is for real,that is why i need your help,just help me,out,belive God and belive me as your son.reply me soon

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hi David


I have been thinking about this, and have decided that I could do one of
two things. These are the options:

1. I will send you $1000 US dollars today through a HIGH SECURITY
website, that will require you to answer some security questions.

OR, if you cannot do that

2. Wait until sunday to receive your photo.

Which would you like to do?

Armitage?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. thanks,i want your reply now.

Dear "Armitage
thanks for your reply,i am very happy for you,i told you i am not sure i can get the camera on sunday,the camera belong tomy friend,alli need is to buy one today,send me $100 to $200 so i can get a good one first to get you a better photo,just send me now,and sent me the mtcn control number,i promise to get you one,i dont need fast money now,i want to give you the best of me,so you can full belive in God and me,so send the money online may $200.now,is very easy forme t pick upnow,reply me oon.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hi David

I am happy to send you $200 today, but as I said I will send it through a high security website that supports both western union and money gram. There will be quite a lot of secutiry questions you will need to answer.

Are you prepared to answer these security questions? (remember there will be a lot)

If you are, i will send the money today.

Best wishes

Armitage

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. thanks,i want your reply now.

Dear "Armitage
thanks for your reply,i am very happy for you,i told you i am not sure i can get the camera on sunday,the camera belong tomy friend,alli need is to buy one today,send me $100 to $200 so i can get a good one first to get you a better photo,just send me now,and sent me the mtcn control number,i promise to get you one,i dont need fast money now,i want to give you the best of me,so you can full belive in God and me,so send the money online may $200.now,is very easy forme t pick upnow,reply me oon.

[cut out: a lot of mundane to and fro-ing about sending the photo and doing the questions…]


[I am getting bored at this point, so decide to start being weird… just to see how he reacts…]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

My Son,

If you are so desperate for the money, why do you not use my secure
site? The reason I use this one is that I know it is safe, and I trust
it with all my transactions.

Your Father.


[David Bites…]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. i belive you daddy

HELLO DADDY
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND CARING,I BELIVE IN YOUR WORLD,IS VERY EASY FOR MEMY PAYPAL AND I9S SAVE FOR ME,JUST SEND THE $1000 FOR,SOI CAN GET THE CAMERA,AND GIVE YOU THE BEST,I JUST NEED TO GET MY CAMERA,I DONT WANT TO DISAPOINT YOU YOU AS A FATHER,SO DADDY HELP ME,MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND PROVIED FOR YOU,SEND THE MONEY TO MY PAYAPLA ACCOUNT,THANKS SO MUCH
[…so I continue…]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

David.

Listen to me. I am NOT going to send the money by papal. It must be done through my secure website that I trust.

If you ask one more time for anything different, i will stop writing to you.

Best wishes

Papa
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. i belive you daddy


daddy.

thanks for your reply,daddy why the you say you are going to stop mailing me.why the you want me to cry,so daddy you can sent the money tome by western union,i wait a,nd after you send it,send me the western union confirmationletter,god bless you and god help you

[more cut out money arguments… but the creepy father/son stuff continues]

[finally… a breakthrough]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

David,

I have set up the transaction, please go to http://www.v3r1fys3c.com and
put in the following security code:

b630622e90cee353d4d1d9fe70526f9d75a0e51fb071b75a09347e167b0095b8

This will give you access to answer the security questions regarding the
transaction.

Please remember to answer them honestly, and that there are A LOT of
them. If you have any trouble, please let me know.

best of luck,

Daddles.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. i belive you daddy


daddy i do that now.

thanks so much dady.how much you send,after i feel the form,what next,,and give me the western union conformation transfer form,so i can show them in bank in western union office.thanks daddy,loving uuuuuuuuu

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. i belive you daddy


Daddy.
i fiil out all the question,but i did not see the mtcn control number,the computer was just drak.
daddy,can you just buy a laptop and send it to azerbaijan by ups,so i can sell it to buy a camera,please i need this money to but a camera and take good care of my self,try and under stand me.
if yes,i will give you address.buy a laptop that is all most $1000,i dont want to waste time and i dont want to dispoint you on sunday,i am not sure if i will get you the photo on sunday,reply me soon daddy to know what to do.

[david can’t handle the pressure of the questions…]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 28/2/07
Subject. i belive you daddy


thanks,just help me with alapto that is al most $1000
i got to buy a camera from it,keep some,and donate in church,to thank god for my life and you my dad.send my ups.www.ups.com

hear is the addreess.

receivers name:david akinbulu
14 Mamedaliyev Street
Baku 1005
Azerbaijan
Tel.: +994124933991.

as soon as you send the laptop,send me the tracking number,i am very sorry daddy,i had to ask this from you,i just need my owne camera,and i need some money to by film ,and other thing when i get the camerae,un der stand me daddy,may god help you in anything you do,mmy lovely daddy,reply me soon

[at this point I get bored of the Daddy thing. Far too creepy… but I still decide to screw with him by giving him mixed messages about it.]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

David,

One of the many lessons that I will teach you as a Father is that you do not always get what you want.

Please you must either fill out the security questions, or send me the photo. If you keep nagging me I will become angry.

Also, please stop calling me Daddy.

Your good father,

Armitage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 1/3/07
Subject. i will try my best


Dear Armitage
i will try my best in getting the form fiiled up today,as soon as i end up with it,i will contact you,thank you and god bless.

[david does a lot of nagging trying to get out of the questions… it’s more of the same… so I cut it]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 1/3/07
Subject. i will try my best

Dear Armitage

thanks so much for your reeply and loving.
i had talk with the western union office,i was told i dont need the mtcn control number to receive the money.

all i need is the senders name and sercurity question and anw.

please send me your contact address too.

thanks and god bless you.reply me soon,i need to get my camera,and do what you ask me to do.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hi David,

This is what to do next if you want the money before the photo:

Fill out the secutiry process, and then when you get the confirmation number i will supply you with sender name, and details and the question and answer.

I hope this helps

[Finally… david begins so answer the questions in the 1tv5 site. He logs in 18 times, answering a total of around 400 questions, through many hours one night. Unbelieveable.]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 1/3/07
Subject. i will try my best

thanks for your reply,i had end up with the sercurity process,and i can see the confirmation number,so what can i do now,please tell me,urgent reply.

[sure you did, dave. ]


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

OK that is great news, can you please send me the web site address with the security number, or just tell me the number, so I can get it and enter it in the system to confirm you have completer it?

[david tries to trick me… the little prankster…]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 1/3/07
Subject. i will try my best

thanks,hear are what you need,i need you reply soon.
web site:www. v3r1fys3c.com
Security Verification Code:b630622e90cee353d4d1d9fe70526f9d75a0e51fb071b75a09347e167b0095b8

[more mundane arguments and excuses later….]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 2/3/07
Subject. i will try my best

thanks so much for your reply.
the srercurity question is too much for me,i just try my best to see if i can end it up,please try and find a easy way for me,i dont no much about the terrorism,so what can i do,give me more information,please tell me waht to do,thanks so much and God help you too sir in anything you do in life.my greeting to your familiy,God bless you all.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hi David,

Please do not worry, if you don't know much about terrorism that is good, so you are a good person. Please just fill out the questions and tell the truth.

It is very easy if you want all the money, all you have to do is sit there and answer the questions honestly.

I know it takes a long time, but I know you can do it because you are patient and good.

Best luck

Dad

[he answers many…many… more questions over the next few days…until he finally gives up]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 5/3/07
Subject. i will try my best

I HAD JUST CALL THEMI WAS TOLD TO EMAIL THEM,SO I WAIT FOR THERE REPLY,AS SOON AS THEY REPLY ME I LET YOU KNOW,THANKS.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: 1TV5
To: David

Dear customer,

in order to receive the MTCN you must answer all the questions. Our records show that you haven't done that.

Thank you for using our service,

Customer care

International Transaction Verification Services
Our modalities make transactions 100 % secure and legal for:
Western Union
Moneygram

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 5/3/07
Subject. i will try my best

what can i do now,hear is the sercurity company reply,the sercurity web site is very bad,it cant open any more,what can i do.

[let him give up? Not yet…]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

That is an interesting reply from them, thankyou david.

It seems as though you will have to finish answering the questions.

[he logs in about 6 more times… after he tries to tell me the site is down…]

[I let him give up now, as I’m bored. But I decide to give up the “dad” thing and screw with him in a different way…]


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

Hi David

I have wonderful news for you!

You no longer have to do the questions through that website if you do not want to! I have contacted western union many times, and have been able to get from them a complete list of the quesions!

So, if you like, I can send you these quesions, then you can simply fill them out and send them back to me!

Then you no longer have to use that ridiculous website! Isn't this the most wonderful news?

Would you like to do this? If so, I will send the questions in my next email

Please let me know

best regards.

Captain Armitage

[I send him the 1tv5 pdf full of questions…]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 6/3/07
Subject. Send it

thanks os much yu,can send the fomr,let me see.thanks and god bless

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David

David,

I have not heard from you in a while. Is everything alright?

best reagards

Armitage

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 6/3/07
Subject. Send it
i just not feeling fine,sir how can you help me,please i need your help.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[I decide to start really screwing around]

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. Send it

Call me captain, not sir. don't make me tell you again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 6/3/07
Subject. Send it

thanks so much for your reply,my friend camera as benn given to one of is friend,i ask for the camera on sunday in church,he told me he had given a friend,that the friend promise to bring it back in the next 1 to 2weeks
okay i will not use the money to buy camera,i will you the money to clear the cheuqe and come back to the united state,so tell me,how can you help me,in sending the money now

[How far can I push him?]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. Send it

Firstly you did not call me "Captain" in your last email. I am annoyed by that, so from now on you must say "O Captain, my Captain" at the beginning of each email.

Secondly, I will go and talk to my bank now and see how possible it is to send you money with no security. I hope to be able to send you some soon, but I will let you know a bit later on.

Thankyou for repying to me and I hope to be able to help you soon.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 8/3/07
Subject. Send it

O Captain, my Captain
can you send the money to my paypal account,or post the money by post mail,i need your help my captain.thanks

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. Send it

David,

I will go to the bank very shortly. I do not understand what is paypal. Please tell me so i can explain to the bank.

Admiral Armitage

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 8/3/07
Subject. Send it

o my captain.
thanks so much for your reply
you can go to www.paypal.com and no much about paypal is very easy to recive.or you post the money to me by post mail

so what the you think,reply me soon,you can post the money to me by dhl,ups.reply me soon


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. Send it

For the third time david, the words are "O Captain, my Captain" stop getting it wrong.

David, I went to www.paypal.com and it all seems rather complex. I do not like to sign up to things i do not understand. please explain it to me and how i am to give you money into it.

best regards

Admiral


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 8/3/07
Subject. Send it

thanks so mcuh for your reply,i am very happy to send you this mail.so i will send you our you can send the money to by paypal account.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. Send it

DAVID YOU DID NOT BEGIN THE EMAIL HOW I TOLD YOU. I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS 3 TIMES SO FAR I AM VERY ANGRY WITH YOU

[Now it gets interesting]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 8/3/07
Subject. Send it

O Captain, my Captain"

i am very sorry my O Captain, my Captain"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. I am sorry

First of all david, i am still angry at you for not starting your email off in the right way last time.

I demand a lengthy apology from you before i consider sending any money!

good day sir


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 8/3/07
Subject. Send it

o captain my captain.
i am very sorry for that,please forgive me like a father to son,i am sorry for that,help me out,dont let me cry.please ia m sorry.thanks god bless you



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. I am sorry

Look David,

I'm afraid that apology just does not cut it with me. I have told you so many times and you do not learn. I think the only thing i can do now is make you remember, so what you must do it write me a hand-written apology to show me that you mean it.

I want it to be at least one page long. After I recieve this and accept your apology, I will go to my bank and transfer some money to you.

[David copies and pastes some sort of apoloy from what I assume is somewhere from the internet… completely non-sensical… but in the context of our conversation is quite bizarre… and worth a read…]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 8/3/07
Subject. Send it

o captain my captain

thanks so much for your reply,i promise you that i will not happen any more,please forgive me for that make mne happy not sad,i am a young boy,please i beg you,i dont have any money,i am just a poor boy help me.

I really had a sleepless night, moving here and there on my bed and thinking about what happen to us that night. I least expected it, I experienced the worst headache ever, all I could hear was my heart beating much faster than it ever has. I cursed my stars that night, as my expectation for the night was so much greater, but it ended in a far different way that made my heart choke with tears of losing something I've always fought for.

We all made mistakes not trying to understand each other, some words did hurt in some way and I guess we got carried away after all those arguments of whether truly I have some intimate relationship with Millicent. I guess this issue has always been the stand block of our relationship getting worked out. I know it's been hard for you trying to understand the real truth. Perhaps I need to give you a chance to find out for yourself whether what I'm trying to make you understand is the real truth or not. Trust is very important, especially in a new and an up-coming relationship, and so I have no objection about you finding out the fact about whether I have a relationship with her.

I know we both said so many things to each other that we least expected, trying to find out the truth about something, it's really hard and needs much time, but I guess I got carried away by saying those words to you. I know you said you can't forgive me, neither will you forget, but I know deep down in me, I've regretted saying those things to you and being the first guy to have said this to you also hurts me a lot. Whether you accept my apology or not *I'm truly sorry for my harsh and unpleasant words.*

Perhaps this is the chance for us to experience the passion in each other. The most important thing is that this is not our first love experience and one thing we must understand is that, in every relationship, whether old or new, we're sure to experience some problems but it's up to us to solve them. These are some of the things that might break our warm friendship and everything we are planning ahead of us. We need to understand each other and try to have the trust that will make this relationship work. I know you want this to work as much as I do and I still have my hopes up, never giving up on you. Let me tell you this thing that I believe in a real relationship: "It doesn't take beauty to make a relationship but the heart and the mind." I know what I've seen in you and have a special reason of choosing you. Your perception about guys is really not correct, guys are never the same, maybe some times you might think we think alike but the heart shows all the difference.

For now, I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for hurting you last night. You caused me pains too but and I'm really confused about everything. I much want things to be stable and that you get all the time you need to make your decision. I love you so much and never will I think that I can forget you. Hope to hear from you... I remain yours ....

Love always,

[Armitage, of course, is not happy…]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject. I am sorry

DAVID!

I AM NOT A FOOL! I KNOW THESE ARE NOT YOUR WORDS.

Do you think to trick me? Did you read what it said?

Please write me a HANDWRITTEN apology of YOUR OWN WORDS.

what you just wrote has nothing to do with us

I am furious.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 8/3/07
Subject. Send it

o captain my captain
thanks so much for your reply,i copy the word from a place.yes.i am sorry aboy that,i am not taking you for a fool,i cant do that to you,you are just like a father to me.
so will want you to forgive and forget it,i am sorry fpr that,just consider me for the last time,i promise that will not happen any more,it was just a big mistake to me,i am sorry please dont let ,me die hear in azerbaijan,i have told everyone about you,so if they find out that,you dont help me,it will be a big problem to me,just considder me,i promise to obey your word and do allw aht you wnat me to do,consider me for the sake of my lord jesus .thanks and gpd bless you for forgiven me.
thanks

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Armitage Shanks
To: David
Subject Send it

I will help you when you have sent a handwritten apology.

When will it arrive?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David
Date: 9/3/07
Subject. Send it

o captain,my captain,hear is the letter you ask me to send you,so i am very sorry,just forgive me as a son,i promis ethat will not happen any money,and help me senmd the money to the paypla account email i gave you
[email protected]

after you send it let me know,so i can contact the owner of the account of the pick up of the money,thanks and god bless you.o captain i will be busy in church today,just help send the money so by tusesday i can get ready to come back to america.thanks and god bless you.

Image

Image
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Doit Pruitt
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 05 Feb 2008
Posts: 63
Location: America


PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

where did you get him to send you the handwritten apology? I'd like to add that touch to one I'm running, but what do you use as an address?
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Wally Combover
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 54


PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh, I made him scan it and send it in the email.

If it got to me, i would have scanned it much higher quality.
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Wow!!! You had him hooked for ages!!!

I remember his photo from elsewhere on Eater (and the Coke fridge!!!). I can remember that when he first hit the radar people were asking wether he was just some dumb kid or a real scammer. Well you proved he's a dumb scammer!!!
clapping

_________________
Star pony pony pony Nurse Nastys Audi TT Purple Flower Whip
Safari Jolly Roger Mortar Closed lad accounts Cellphone United Kingdom

God will see you true for all this you have done to me you bastard. - Collins Kalu
MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY. - Dr Linda Akeem
oh what a mess its time cabbage punks like u will be expose for trully what they are. - David Cole
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Wally Combover
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 54


PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah he was a good one. It went on for a while longer too, but he dissapeared off the face of the planet before I could get another trophy.
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Oblivion
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 19


PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That became almost surreal near the end. That scan looks crappy, though... they must have second rate scanners in Azerbaijan.

Overall, I liked it, though. Good work!
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Dolores
419Eater is my life


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 356


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oooh, I had this exact same lad almost a year ago, I think! Dumb as bricks and tons of fun! Good to see he hasn't improved his tactics a whole lot. clapping

I seem to recall that someone was able to find his real name, address, and MySpace account way back when (and no, I'm not thinking of the "pipipipisex" lad whose MySpace was found). When I have more time, I'll try to find that thread. Very Happy

I think the kid in the picture turned out not to actually be him judging by his MySpace pics and age, but I couldn't swear to it until I dig that up again.

_________________
I was mad with the deceit and conning of the Bello of a man. - Mens4h K0fi
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Wally Combover
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 54


PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

In a bizarre update to this, I just happened to check my spam folder of my baiter account and happened accross four emails from the 1TV5 website saying that David has logged in and tried to answer more questions.

the emails were dated about 2 days before i posted the above letters, and about a year after the above baiting session.

So, he's still out there and waiting to be hooked again.
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Pillowpants
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 25 Feb 2008
Posts: 42
Location: Puttin' the BAM in AlaBAMa!!!


PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That was the best thing I've ever read.
"Oh Captain my Captain" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Priceless. Laughing
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flippingsweet
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 38
Location: Preston, Idaho


PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Simply Talent! Smile I love dumb lads!

_________________
~They will fight the rats.~
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SA-scambaiter
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Posts: 13


PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 4:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Great bait!!!

How does one go about using http://www.v3r1fys3c.com/???

I want to try it out on a bait, and Im still new at the game. Do you really have to transfer the money via western union to get the verification code?

Please, any help will be appreciated!
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