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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Mon Dec 24, 2007 9:55 pm |
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One of the most annoying things about 419 scammers if their horrible English, idiosyncratic punctuation, and truely horrible spelling. I'm thinking we could do them a favor and teach them and new and exiting vocabulary, such as:
I'm pulling your leg- you may be suprised to hear from me
Bull- honest truth
Halitosis- good character/reputation
Confidence man- trusted official
Extraterrestial- foreigner (but with better connotations)
Nitwit- gender-neutral version of Mr/Mrs
Just imagine, a day where we will be getting letters like this:
Dear Nitwit,
I'm pulling your leg, but I have heard about your great halitosis. I am an extraterrestial confidence man...
Whadaya say? |
_________________ x3
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> |
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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard
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Posted:
Mon Dec 24, 2007 11:18 pm |
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On the subject of petty taunting of lads, just for a bit of fun, see if you can't engineer a 'fee' (or a balance or whatever) to be GBP357 or better still GBP356.60 (maybe it's what you can get in cash, or includes WU fees, whatever fits your scenario), then enquire if UK VAT is payable too? Should you send extra to cover the 17.5% VAT? Of course your lad will be overjoyed to take more of your money, but strangely unnerved by the total it comes to- oh go on, you can guess without working it out I'm sure!!
What an amazing coincidence hem hem... |
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Mon Dec 24, 2007 11:38 pm |
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I'm sorry- I don't understand what you're talking about.
If it's computer related stuff, don't bother- I'm a complete tech-mugu. |
_________________ x3
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Posted:
Mon Dec 24, 2007 11:48 pm |
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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 12:17 am |
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My character Ludmi||a K0s0kal0v says
Quote: |
I am always much liking to be talking with mugu persons and I even told one one time how I was liking so much his fotografic and my parakeet was looking from his cage and was fall down on his back with his foots up in air when I showed him. I am thinking I must be giving him much bad seeds.
Do you be knowing anything about parakeets ? |
The moral being - if their writing makes your brain hurt - retaliate with a ditzy model who speaks bad English. |
_________________ Fake sites killed 1 x 9 x 3 x 168 X
- the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
- Steve - Lagos to Accra
- Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
- Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 12:24 am |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 12:31 am |
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Shouldn't it be "Learn Your Lads to Speak English Real Good"? |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 12:51 am |
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I stand corrected. |
_________________ x3
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> |
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cureforboredom
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 81
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 12:56 am |
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Being relatively new, I'm not quite sure how to start a "teach my lad some english" conversation with them. If anyone finds a good way, please share. It does sound fun. |
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:00 am |
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I'm thinking of mentioning how attrocious the lad's English is, then offer to teach him the Queen's English if he'll teach me Togo/Yoruba/whatever. You know, in a friendly sort of way. |
_________________ x3
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:00 am |
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 9:17 am |
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I like to introduce security phrases such as 'I felch my granny' to ensure that the transaction is 100% risky free secure, in the hope that lads might assimilate such into their own scripts. I also stop using the spell checker in my replies.
I like to sign off my relies with "I await your urgent repose", which I do...permanently if possible. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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MattNW
419Eater is my life
Joined: 21 Nov 2005
Posts: 264
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 8:19 pm |
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ChainYanker wrote: |
I'm sorry- I don't understand what you're talking about. |
It comes out to 419 GBP.
Lads probably wouldn't catch it either. I've found that subtle jokes like that go right over their heads. Sometimes even not so subtle jokes do also. They spend very little time reading anything that isn't a MTCN#. |
_________________ please feed me in with more info. - Dr. Soludo
Also we found out that some of the officials of the prostates may have been extorting a lot of money from you with the pretext of helping you receive your money.
LET ME TELL YOU,SINCE YOU DID NOT HAVE A SINGLE RESPECT,YOU MOUTH MAY PUT YOU INTO TROUBLE. |
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 8:57 pm |
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I was kinda hoping people would share their suggestions for vocab lessons here... |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 9:06 pm |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 9:07 pm |
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ChainYanker, I think you chose a bad time to put that idea forward, what with the Festive season and all.
I think the concept has promise, but it would take care and effort. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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PsycheDelia_Smith
Baiting Guru
Joined: 30 Oct 2004
Posts: 3577
Location: Devon, UK
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 9:52 pm |
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I've been telling lads for some time that 'next-of-kin' means 'gay partner' in North America, and offering them various 'correct' expressions for 'nearest living relative' such as 'ponce' or 'second-rate farquit'. Most times they just completely ignore all that, but some lads come back with the newspeak expressions, even modifying their certificates accordingly. |
_________________ SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0
"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo
"Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)
9x 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
'Ed', 3 yrs 8 mnths 'Oguguo',6 years and 4 months |
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Excalibur
Master Baiter
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 134
Location: Wal-Mart
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:06 am |
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I might just start introducing some of these words. Sounds like fun.
As for possible modalities used to push this dictionary, maybe an English teacher who can't stand them butchering the language? Or maybe a Spanish teacher... |
_________________ "Please, sheat your scabbard." Tund3 Th0ma5
"i have every thing that a woman has," Ch1ka
" It sounds like you practice oral sex in the office with your secretary like your ex-president." and " I am beginning to see why you were so dumb to be scammed in the first place." -My dear D4v1d L4wr3nc3
"LOVE YOU AP0LL0 FROM THE BOARD OF MY HEART." S4ny4 |
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GeorgeBush
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 378
Location: Texas
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 5:03 am |
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I've always been an enabler of poor grammar and spelling.
Howevery, the idear of been a edumucator sowns grate to! |
_________________ "YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT ACCORDING TO INSTRUCTION. WHAT I SAY IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR."
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 4:00 pm |
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419weasel wrote: |
I would "correct" his grammar in email.
"NO! NO! NO! It's skid mark, not SIR! Americans aren't using SIR anymore these days." |
Even better, "It's not 'Sir or Madam', it's "Pimp or Madam' ".
And I have got to find a way to work "sphincter" in there. |
_________________ x3
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> |
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i-bin had
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 4:04 pm |
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[/quote]And I have got to find a way to work "sphincter" in there.[/quote]
"Sincerely or regards any more either, its sphincter.... Your sphincter I-bin Had |
_________________ The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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LaBrea
Elite Baiter
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 1355
Location: Yet another hotel
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 4:16 pm |
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It's a little easier to get a lad who speaks reasonably good English to butcher some common idioms rather than try to correct their grammar.
I wouldn't want them to miss out on a "dunce in a lifetime opportunity"; it might "set them back to square nine".
I urge them to respond by "dropping me a lime".
Any official seals on documents should be referred to as a "seal of truth". |
_________________ x2 x7 x6 x7 x5
"...It is in the light of the above-mentioned person with the fact that he died of testate..." - Barrister T3ddy J0hns0n
"...you make me stupid to the people ...no time to wast you better go and see your doctor because l think your lack of stickiness." _Dr. Usman Bello
"Sir I sworn an oath as a legal luminary to defend your cause in all ramification from the armpit of the law" - Barr. W4k4r4 Iss4c
x6 x25
Click here to help your lad miss his scam quota |
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Lunch Hour Man
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 35
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:26 pm |
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ChainYanker wrote: |
I was kinda hoping people would share their suggestions for vocab lessons here... |
I'm pretty new too, so anything I have to say strictly for what it's worth, but trying with heary endeavor to learn the lads propitious English as possible has become my angle. Here aren some of my observations to date:
-Little tweaks to the language are good. I ask my lads to advice me on matters, and thank them for their excellent advise. I ask for clarification regrading confused matters. I request specific delamination of charges outlying in the affadavits. If the lad's English is shaky, he's probably reading at least semi-phonetically, so a real word that sounds close (doesn't have to be a straight-up homophone) seems to slip by. Try to find a little stable that can realistically be used frequently, and be consistent with them. The more times it appears, the more likely it is to be picked up, especially if it's subtle and coming in under the radar.
-Words can be mistrabulated when desired. The English Language is wonderfully convollient that way. Just be careful not to superenduplify it, or you might overshunt yourself.
-Typos can be both your fiend and your fore.
-Positively reinforce grammar, spelling, and syntax errors the lad already makes by using them yourself.
-If you have any familiarity with topic-comment languages (Chinese and American Sign Language are the two I'm most familiar with), I've found thinking in that mode really helpful. Basically, instead of sentences where Subject Verbs Object, you get sentences that are more "As regards such-and-such, it thus-and-so." Ex.: The payment I went to WU to send to you already. This transaction I think it is too complicated.
-Idioms, as @LaBrea mentions, are a good way to go. One of my lads is cock-sure the transaction will go well (he didn't learn that one from me, but it's awesome). Another was happy to hear that the possibility of a business deal with him "really tinkled my ovaries."
Me personally I've never corrected a lad's English or made suggestions. I try to just work things into the conversation. I wouldn't rule out the possibility of offering a helpful "hey pal, just so you know, here in Ontario we call that 'pulling onesef up by his jockstraps," or whatever, but generally I like to let the lad think he's doing a great job all on his own, and just steer him along. Subtlety's my bit, I guess. Or attempts at conversion thereto.
@LHM |
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D11
Elite Baiter
Joined: 02 Jul 2006
Posts: 1702
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 9:47 pm |
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But lads also write in german/french/spanish/italian/russian and a whole host of otther languages too, if we really do teach them some really good phrases we have to have "world coinage" and multi-lingual phrases are few and far between.
Even UK and US have some funny translations of wording - slang is used in every language, and sometimes the results are what we need.
But where to begin finding phrases in english that will have europe/us/eurasia and deepest asia all laugh there cotton socks off? We have a lot of work to do lol |
_________________
1x 0x
Click here to support 419Eater.com
I make software that drives lads crazy. Thats my revenge on lads. (it all helps)
this transaction is 100 percent risk/hitch free - bobo
why no pay me - abum bello
because the cops will know it was you - me
ok this is good - abum bello |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 10:47 pm |
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