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 Safari time! - Well, it was fun while it lasted

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Xenon
Master Baiter


Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 153
Location: Not from around here


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Great safari, Im sure they will go on another Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

_________________
Mr Robert: Please let me know. I am highly depressed over here. I want to hear from you urgently.
-----
Mr DoDoo: fuck you Mr Rev Peter Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk uu
-----
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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

What poetry, what poetry...

I rather like the embassy connection as it is
1) credible
2) secure
3) going to terrify the lad that Uncle Sam have chopped his dolla.

To avoid ITP pain, the diplomat meeting under the public webcam somewhere in Nigeria or somewhere just close enough to keep it tempting can organise a meeting with miladdo by email/I'M, agree the I'D required, and in his final mail before the meetup Sue can sing the diplomats praises after all he does work with the US FBI Overseas Unit...

I can't wait to see the scans of the receipts too!! Smile

EDIT - bonus modality if the above doesn't appeal - how about sue gives the envelope with the cash and presents to the nice mr (ont1gu (or whatever his name was - the dolla choppa character anyway) to deliver to j0e , who seems to be a very polite man she met at the camp who was supposed to arrive on the same bus, and who is also (how convenient) fRom Nigeria. If the second safari can't work, there should be some good choppa emails just to rub salt...

(apologies for typos and forgetting names - I'm tapping away on a PDA and it ain't easy!)
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Posts: 19827
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The first step is to try to get him back on safari. If that doesn't work, or even if it does and he goes home yet again, sending the cash with a driver on leave, who then steals it, is a great modality. I think the embassy ruse should be saved for the bitter end.

I'd really like for him to cross the border. Let's have Mr. Rhodes point out that he can't be responsible for his client's cash, and that this disclaimer is even printed on the sign-in form as well as on signs in all rooms. So no WU. But of course if Jim and Kelvin want to return to a pickup point, they will be fully reimbursed. You may as well offer all three locations, but emphasize the convenience of Naitingou. If he can't make that, then Cotonou is the only option. One way or the other he has to come up with his own money, but it's going to be a fight. He's really digging in his heels:

Quote:
I will going to bed now, when i wake up tomorrow morning, i will be expecting to get an email from you saying you have gievn the money to Mr Rhodes.
I have asked Kelvin if there is any other way he can get funds, he said no. Its left to you, i have tried all my best to get to the camp.Have a good night sleep,

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Joined: 18 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I need to light a fire under this lazy b*stard's butt. He'll wake up to this depressed and depressing email from my character:

Quote:
Dearest Jim,

I had a terrible night's sleep. I'm exhausted and upset and angry and miserable. Both Reginald and Peter were after me last night at dinner but I couldn't bear to even think about them. All I want is you. I feel so cut adrift! I feel so lost! I need you here, right away. I'm so goddamn sad. I hate that. This is fucking paradise for Christ's sake! I was having the time of my life! But then you didn't come to me and everything just fell to shit. Did I mention how miserable I am? I hate this feeling. I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

I talked to Mr. Rhodes last night, he said they can't send money for me, it's this whole thing about responsibility and insurance and liability and I don't even know what all. And he said that Western Union is totally corrupt in western Africa and money gets stolen all the time, so it's a very bad idea to risk it. I understand but still, I'm upset. Did I mention that I was upset? I am. He said I was welcome to ride one of the shuttles out to meet you in Parakou or Cotonou at no charge, but that's all he can offer.

Jim, you just have to get to one of those cities. Why on earth did you leave Parakou anyway? Ohmygod, if you had stayed around for just one more lousy hour you would be here right now! But no, you went back just before the fucking shuttle got there. And now you say you can't come back again. Well, that was a fucking waste of money! If you hadn't blown it by turning tail and going back we wouldn't be having this problem now! I wish to hell you would just got right back to where you were the night before last so we could just start over.

Did I mention I'm miserable? No, miserable doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I'm fucking depressed. If you can't come here because of a $50 bus ride, well, I guess I may as well go home. Obviously I'm wasting my fucking time here. This was the most glorious place I've ever seen, the most fun I've ever had, until you turned tail and left me. Now I don't even give a shit. I may as well just hand out all those presents like I'm fucking Santa Claus or something. A fat lot of good they're doing me. Here, little boy, want a real Rolex? No charge, just take the fucking thing. Do me a favor. Hey, you over there: how about a fucking laptop? It's yours, just get the damn thing out of my sight.

Goddamn it! I'm depressed. I hate this shit. Why did I come here anyway? Oh yeah, I came here because you promised to join me. Hah! The bus was an hour late so you fucking left. Oh yeah, so much for that promise.

Dammit. I'm depressed. So what the fuck do I do today? Sit around with my finger up my *DELETED* and wait for you? Apparently not, you can't find your way back to here because you can't afford a bus to fucking Cotonou where I would ride for hours to meet you. No, you won't do that. I would, but not you. So I have to sit here and just listen to all the whining and bullshit about money this and money that and Kelvin this and Kelvin that and how you can't move your ass to come here because of fucking $50 bus fare or some such shit, so I'm supposed to impose on Mr. Rhodes and send money only so it can get stolen again.

Fuck this shit. I"m sick of waiting. I've waited for a goddamn week and you never came. SHIT! FUCK! NOw I'm fuckign cryasing agian! godeamn it! goddan it! Shit! I fuckigna ahate this shtis! damnnit!!!!!!!!!


Then he won't hear from me for 8 hours while I get some sleep in real life, and go off and do something stupid in my character's life. Wink

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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dr stephen williams
Baiting Guru


Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 15448
Location: DSW's Tattoo Parlour


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Did I mention how miserable I am? I hate this feeling. I just want to crawl in a hole and die.


Quote:
Did I mention that I was upset?


Quote:
Did I mention I'm miserable?


Quote:
I may as well just hand out all those presents like I'm fucking Santa Claus or something. A fat lot of good they're doing me. Here, little boy, want a real Rolex? No charge, just take the fucking thing. Do me a favor. Hey, you over there: how about a fucking laptop? It's yours, just get the damn thing out of my sight.


Quote:
Goddamn it! I'm depressed
.

Quote:
Dammit. I'm depressed
.

Hahahahahahaahah! He is soooooooo coming back!

_________________
United Kingdom United States Nigeria x303
Safari x8 Acra-Ctnu, Tgo-Pnjari Lgos-Ynde Lgos-Mndmba Lgs-Prku Prt Hrcrt-Abche Lgos>Nttngu Bmko-Ctnu (wDQ)
Safari x21 SS
Safari Sand Timer x3 Dr Ray Lgos-Ctnu,
Golden Pith x2 Safari x7 Tattoo x7 Closed lad accounts x9 Mortar Vcamera x14 Sand Timer x6 Team Turd Lgs>Dla Bnn>Lbra Acra>Dkar Dkr>Bnjul> Dkr>Tmbktu>Abche>Adre>N'djmna, Lgos>Cairo>Aswn>Jail Ctnu>Lgos Ctnu>acra, Lgos>Jbrg>Drbn>Prt Elzbth>CT>Sprngbk>CT>Drbn>CT>Hrre>Lska>DEsSlm>Mmbasa>Nirbi>Kmpla 28,510 Miles
Golden Pith Safari x2 Tattoo x6 Vcamera Sand Timer Team Woody Acra>Sngpre Acra>Dkr>Rsso>Bmko Acra>Ctnu
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SlapHappy
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Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Another fantastic email, Juan! I could just imagine her, pulling out clumps of her hair, too, as she wrote that fraudstrating letter. I'm a little concerned with this, however:
Quote:
go off and do something stupid in my character's life.
Confused Could our heroine be contemplating...oh, no, not that!!! Attempted suicide, by hairbrush?? Shocked Laughing

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
Safari Safari Sand Timer (19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
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dr stephen williams
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Location: DSW's Tattoo Parlour


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Attempted suicide, by hairbrush??
Shocked












Laughing

_________________
United Kingdom United States Nigeria x303
Safari x8 Acra-Ctnu, Tgo-Pnjari Lgos-Ynde Lgos-Mndmba Lgs-Prku Prt Hrcrt-Abche Lgos>Nttngu Bmko-Ctnu (wDQ)
Safari x21 SS
Safari Sand Timer x3 Dr Ray Lgos-Ctnu,
Golden Pith x2 Safari x7 Tattoo x7 Closed lad accounts x9 Mortar Vcamera x14 Sand Timer x6 Team Turd Lgs>Dla Bnn>Lbra Acra>Dkar Dkr>Bnjul> Dkr>Tmbktu>Abche>Adre>N'djmna, Lgos>Cairo>Aswn>Jail Ctnu>Lgos Ctnu>acra, Lgos>Jbrg>Drbn>Prt Elzbth>CT>Sprngbk>CT>Drbn>CT>Hrre>Lska>DEsSlm>Mmbasa>Nirbi>Kmpla 28,510 Miles
Golden Pith Safari x2 Tattoo x6 Vcamera Sand Timer Team Woody Acra>Sngpre Acra>Dkr>Rsso>Bmko Acra>Ctnu
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ Laughing I think some of your sick ideas are beginning to rub off on me, Doc!

_________________
Sand Timer x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
Safari x10 Sand Timer X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, [email protected], Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
Safari x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
Safari Safari Sand Timer (19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Safari Safari [email protected] & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
Safari x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Safari Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
pony pony Closed lad accounts Mortar Goat Easter Egg 2011
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dr stephen williams
Baiting Guru


Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 15448
Location: DSW's Tattoo Parlour


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^Um, I can only plant the seed. The soil itself must be fertile to produce fruit.....

Juan, where are they now?

_________________
United Kingdom United States Nigeria x303
Safari x8 Acra-Ctnu, Tgo-Pnjari Lgos-Ynde Lgos-Mndmba Lgs-Prku Prt Hrcrt-Abche Lgos>Nttngu Bmko-Ctnu (wDQ)
Safari x21 SS
Safari Sand Timer x3 Dr Ray Lgos-Ctnu,
Golden Pith x2 Safari x7 Tattoo x7 Closed lad accounts x9 Mortar Vcamera x14 Sand Timer x6 Team Turd Lgs>Dla Bnn>Lbra Acra>Dkar Dkr>Bnjul> Dkr>Tmbktu>Abche>Adre>N'djmna, Lgos>Cairo>Aswn>Jail Ctnu>Lgos Ctnu>acra, Lgos>Jbrg>Drbn>Prt Elzbth>CT>Sprngbk>CT>Drbn>CT>Hrre>Lska>DEsSlm>Mmbasa>Nirbi>Kmpla 28,510 Miles
Golden Pith Safari x2 Tattoo x6 Vcamera Sand Timer Team Woody Acra>Sngpre Acra>Dkr>Rsso>Bmko Acra>Ctnu
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packman
Aye Spel Betterrer


Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 1498
Location: In his own little world but it's ok, they know him there.


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

oh man this has been great he's gotta come back. im sitting here eating popcorn and waiting for more with baited Laughing breath.i just wish i was talented as you all are but i dont think i could think fast enuff on my feet for something like that.
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Posts: 19827
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SlapHappy wrote:
Could our heroine be contemplating...oh, no, not that!!! Attempted suicide, by hairbrush??


Laughing No, nothing quite so dramatic as that. I was going to have her drown her sorrows in a bottle of booze and pass out, but I decided it would be better to explain my absence for the past 8 hours by saying I went to Pendijari National Park with Reginald, who was very worried about me when he saw how unhappy I was this morning.

But -- GOOD NEWS! Looks like the safari is on again! Very Happy I had four emails this morning:

Jim wrote:
I WANT YOU TO LEAVE THE CAMP WITH THE SHUTTLE AT 7AM IN THE MORNING AND DRIVE DOWN TO THE AIRPORT IN COTONOU. I WILL WAIT FOR YOU THERE, I HAVE ASKED KELVIN TO GO GET A LOAN, AND HE SAYS IF HE APPLIES FOR THE LOAN TODAY, IT WILL BE GIVEN TO HIM ON MONDAY.

WILL YOU DRIVE DOWN TO THE AIRPORT ON MONDAY AT 7AM? LET ME KNOW SO I CAN BE ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT ON MONDAY.

IF I AM DISAPPOINTED AGAIN THIS TIME, I WILL JUST GO AND NEVER TALK TO YOU IN MY ENTIRE LIFE DESPITE THE FACT THAT I LOVE YOU.


Jim wrote:
Darling Sue,

I have thought about this whole thing, i will talk to kelvin today and Persuade him to get some money so that we both can set out for Cotonou on Monday Morning at 8am. Promise me that you will be at the Airport waiting for me with the shuttle.

I wont like to meet Peter and Reginald in the camp, moreso when i get to the camp and we have exhausted our two weeks, you will follow me back to Nigeria so we can travel back from Nigeria. Kelvin will find money and we will be in Cotonou on Monday. I want you to personally drive the Shuttle down to the Airport in Cotonou.

Is this ok by you?
Let me know asap.


Jim wrote:
I AM WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE, LET ME KNOW IF YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DRIVE DOWN TO THE AIRPORT IN COTONOU ON MONDAY SO I CAN WAIT THERE FOR YOU TO PICK ME UP.

I CANT GO TO PARAKOU ANYMORE, THE JOURNEY IS JUST TOO FAR.

WITH ALL MY LOVE,


Kelvin wrote:
Jim has spoken to me about gettting funds to come back to Cotonou, i am willing to apply for a loan which i will get on monday morning and then we both set out for Cotonou again.

This time, please dont disappoint us.

Let me know when you get my message.


I wrote back enthusiastically, but asked him to clarify the 7AM thing. Does he expect the shuttle to be there at 7? No can do, Jimbo. It's an afternoon pickup, he'll have to wait a few hours.

If he does follow through, this will apparently be the end of the bait. But a second safari would make a very happy ending IMO. Very Happy

EDIT: Just got this demanding email:

Jim wrote:
MY LOVE,

I WANT YOU TO CALL KELVIN ON HIS NUMBER IMMEDIATELY YOU GET THIS MAIL. IF YOU DONT CALL, I WILL KNOW YOU AINT SERIOUS WITH ME.

YOUR DARLING JIM..


Well, I can't quite pull off a female voice on the phone so I used my standard backup plan. A long time ago I downloaded a wav file of a very ugly screeching sound. I put it on continuous loop, set the speaker right in front of the microphone on the phone, set it to speaker and called him. As soon as he answered I cranked up the volume to ear-piercing level. After a few calls like that I got a recorded message saying the party I was calling is unavailable.... Then, of course, I emailed a huge slap over his crappy phone. He can't say I didn't try. Wink

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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dr stephen williams
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan! LOVELY! Hahahahaha! I like the screechy phone modality....

So, the vehicle is going to have some problem, right? It's practically inevitable, what with the state of tthe roads these days....

_________________
United Kingdom United States Nigeria x303
Safari x8 Acra-Ctnu, Tgo-Pnjari Lgos-Ynde Lgos-Mndmba Lgs-Prku Prt Hrcrt-Abche Lgos>Nttngu Bmko-Ctnu (wDQ)
Safari x21 SS
Safari Sand Timer x3 Dr Ray Lgos-Ctnu,
Golden Pith x2 Safari x7 Tattoo x7 Closed lad accounts x9 Mortar Vcamera x14 Sand Timer x6 Team Turd Lgs>Dla Bnn>Lbra Acra>Dkar Dkr>Bnjul> Dkr>Tmbktu>Abche>Adre>N'djmna, Lgos>Cairo>Aswn>Jail Ctnu>Lgos Ctnu>acra, Lgos>Jbrg>Drbn>Prt Elzbth>CT>Sprngbk>CT>Drbn>CT>Hrre>Lska>DEsSlm>Mmbasa>Nirbi>Kmpla 28,510 Miles
Golden Pith Safari x2 Tattoo x6 Vcamera Sand Timer Team Woody Acra>Sngpre Acra>Dkr>Rsso>Bmko Acra>Ctnu
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 7:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He demanded once again that I call him, saying he switched off the phone when he couldn't hear me. (Huh? And I thought I was calling Kelvin...) So I did a couple more screeching calls and then sent another email slap. He seems to be mollified now:



Jim wrote:
OK JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL AS SOON AS YOU ARE LEAVING THE CAMP SO I WILL KNOW YOU ARE ALREADY ON YOUR WAY. DONT WORRY ABOUT CALLING KELVIN SINCE IT WONT GO THROUGH.
I WILL WAIT TO READ FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU ARE BACK FROM DINNER.
REMEMBER I HAVE ASKED YOU NOT TO TALK TO PETER ANYMORE BUT YOU REFUSED.
ANYWAY I STILL LOVE YA.


So tomorrow's safari is a go! Laughing

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Simba
Baiting Guru


Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 4093
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 7:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Juan - Excellent baiting... Very Happy

Don't clarify whether he expects you to arrive in Cotonou at 7.00 or depart Camp at 7.00
Obviously confirm to him that 7.00 has been agreed by Bernie at the 5imba camp, but that will be a 7.00 departure from camp, meaning that the shuttle bus will arrive in Cotonou at about 3.00pm

Very Happy

_________________
Golden Pith=5imba Safari Camps
Safari=King Zongo-Ouaga to Accra to Lome to Accra to Lome
Safari=Mr Duru-Ouaga to Accra to Ouaga to Abidjan
Safari=Mr Yetonde-Sierra Leone to Accra
Safari=Mr Jiullus-Abidjan to Accra to Kumasi to Tamale
Safari=Mr Dandy-Abidjan to Monrovia-SSC Liberia
Safari=Mr Mandela-Jo'burg to Maun-SSC Botswana
Safari=Mr Danka-Dakar to Bangul-SSC Gambia
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SafariSafariSafari=Mr Chukwu-Lome to Accra to Koforidua. Lome to Lagos. Lome to Cotonou.

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chaos
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 31


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh I love you guys. This is so beautiful Very Happy
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dr stephen williams
Baiting Guru


Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 15448
Location: DSW's Tattoo Parlour


PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan: Thumbs up

_________________
United Kingdom United States Nigeria x303
Safari x8 Acra-Ctnu, Tgo-Pnjari Lgos-Ynde Lgos-Mndmba Lgs-Prku Prt Hrcrt-Abche Lgos>Nttngu Bmko-Ctnu (wDQ)
Safari x21 SS
Safari Sand Timer x3 Dr Ray Lgos-Ctnu,
Golden Pith x2 Safari x7 Tattoo x7 Closed lad accounts x9 Mortar Vcamera x14 Sand Timer x6 Team Turd Lgs>Dla Bnn>Lbra Acra>Dkar Dkr>Bnjul> Dkr>Tmbktu>Abche>Adre>N'djmna, Lgos>Cairo>Aswn>Jail Ctnu>Lgos Ctnu>acra, Lgos>Jbrg>Drbn>Prt Elzbth>CT>Sprngbk>CT>Drbn>CT>Hrre>Lska>DEsSlm>Mmbasa>Nirbi>Kmpla 28,510 Miles
Golden Pith Safari x2 Tattoo x6 Vcamera Sand Timer Team Woody Acra>Sngpre Acra>Dkr>Rsso>Bmko Acra>Ctnu
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manbiteslion
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 11:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've been thinking how jimbo could possibly expect this to work...

1) he sent you a photo of 'him', a white, middle-aged american model
1a) I have a hunch it's not him in the photo, and any fool could tell that at a glance
2) he 'teamed up' with a young local black lad
3) he plans to meet you
4) you're carrying many valuables
5) see 1a)
6) you meet his 'mate' and have to hop in a cab to meet him
7) only threats or straight kidnapping would work

I can't see ANY other way the 2 lads one woman scenario could work when he can't pass himself off as his photo except to a deaf blind dunce. This is unsettling, but it has an upside or two -
1) no remorse whatsoever necessary for his suffering
2) he'll believe a kidnapping modality if played against him.

So...after the obvious eventual no-show, perhaps we can enter phase 4 - the guyman who taunted jimbo earlier (who he was supposed to meet en route to S1mba camp) could have met 5ue and said HE was k3lvin. 5ue travels with him, kidnap modality in play, guyman taunts jimbo, OR emails jimbo LOW ($300 or so) ransom note for sue (maybe he hasn't found the money, just the presents?). Again thinking aloud, but the first half of this post is the only way I can see he plans getting over the 2 x lad problem...it had been puzzling me when he clearly intended to follow through with the meet and not cry sick/send just kelv1n as we expected.
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Posts: 19827
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 12:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Actually, Manbiteslion, I was thinking of something similar, but it's robbery rather than kidnapping. Stay tuned, I'm waiting first to see how Jimbo reacts when I fail to show.

When I get online tomorrow (California time) it will be right around the time I'm supposed to meet him in Cotonou. It will be interesting to see how long it takes for him to find a cafe and write me. He says he'll dump me but I'd wager I can keep him going a while longer. Maybe not another safari, but I don't believe he can really abandon his dream completely.

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way


Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America


PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 12:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You. Are. Awesome.

_________________
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FEMALE

"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali

"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack

"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith

"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se

Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> pony
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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard


PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 12:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan, maybe this is the right time for 5ue to get robbed at a truckstop, at least she has a reason to be distraught, delayed, and more eager than ever to see jimbo - she's still got $5k ($10k, $20k, whatever) she'd hidden separately but is thinking of flying straight home from Cotonou with all the stress in the police station, etc.

Kidnap or robbery, nasty man, may god save him from his planned actions in the form of the nonexistent 5ue...
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 4:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oops, looks like we have a problem:

Jim wrote:
I did not tell you i will be leaving today, i told you i will be leaving on Monday, check the message i sent you properly.
I am just sick and tired if all these, our initial agreement was for you to come to Nigeria, i never told you to go Cotonou, if you had listen to me and come to Nigeria, we would have been together all along.

I am not coming today, i cant make it there is no money to come today, think about it.
Lots of love,


There's just one teensy problem about that. Yesterday afternoon he wrote an email with an all-caps subject line saying "I WILL BE IN CAMP TOMORROW." So, duh! Of course since he sent that on Saturday, I interpreted that to mean that "tomorrow" referred to Sunday. Meanwhile Susan had written him at 8AM, shortly before departure. She won't get back to the camp until around 9PM, when she'll find his message and rip him a new one.

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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SlapHappy
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Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 5:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan, why can't this guy just get things right. If he only did what he was told, when he was told, things wiould be quite different for him now. Rip him up good! Very Happy

_________________
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Golden Pith x3 H3ctor & [email protected] - Yankar1 & Parakou
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Joined: 18 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It's 9PM in Benin, Sue just got back to the 5imba Safari Camp and she's not a happy camper:

my character wrote:
GODDAMN YOU!!!!! Why did you do this to me???? You damn well DID say you were coming today! Look at the email below, the last one you sent yesterday afternoon. Look at the subject: "I WILL BE IN CAMP TOMORROW". Take another look. What's the last word there? TOMORROW. IN HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS.

Now, let's see. You sent that on January 12th. What day is today? Oh yeah, the 13th. I wonder what "tomorrow" meant on Saturday the 12th. Could it be -- Sunday the 13th? Yes, but only if you have a brain!

I rode 13 hours in a cramped van with a creepy young maniac named Chuks because YOU told me to be sure to pick you up "TOMORROW." Which means SUNDAY, TODAY! We drove all the way to fucking Cotonou and looked all around the fucking airport for a fucking hour and couldn't find you. I was devastated. I cried half the way back to camp. And Chuks kept snickering at me. I could have killed the little bastard. Then I finally get back here, tired, dirty, sweaty, hungry, and I find your email saying that you NEVER said you'd be coming today.

GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!! You didn't say MONDAY, you said TOMORROW. And you said that on SATURDAY. And now it's SUNDAY, which is TOMORROW.

READ THE FUCKING EMAIL BELOW AND STOP TRYING TO TELL ME IT'S MY MISTAKE! I DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO!

<Jimbo's email was copied here for his edification.>


He'd better be careful, she's likely to be cranky when she does the same trip again on Monday. Very Happy

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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dr stephen williams
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Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 15448
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

>slap!<


Thumbs up

_________________
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Safari Sand Timer x3 Dr Ray Lgos-Ctnu,
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Professor So And So
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Joined: 16 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice one, Juan. It's such a blessing when they screw up so blatantly that we get to take out all of our frustration with the entire universe on them without worrying that they'll twig. That must have been fun to write.

_________________
Safari - Ibrahim - Lagos - Parakou - "Find out if there is any western union money transfer from the 5imba camp"
Safari - Mr. Green - Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - "I'll be in a brown check suit and trousers and a brown shoe."
Safari - Mr. Mark - Accra - Tamale - "I thank you so much for the pain,time,money and life that you caused."
Safari - Mr. Neill - London, England - Glasgow, Scotland - "Yu are really causing confusions between us all."
Safari - William - Accra, Ghana - Maiduguri, Nigeria
Safari - Miracle - Benin - N'Djamena, Chad - "Too much mosquitoes"
Safari - Godspower - Ghana - N'Djamena, Chad
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