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 Quite possibly the worst leter I have ever seen

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Jayhawk
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jul 2006
Posts: 5158


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 4:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've been dealing with a Mr. Kess3nger (or he sometimes calls himself "Kess1ng"), and finally got in touch with the Barrister. The entrance requirements for being a Barrister in Nigeria must be pretty damn low. I think I've been passed down. Thank you soooo much Eliza for sending this lad to me.

Quote:
DEAR MR AGN3S SKINN3R , (Mr??)
HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY, WE ARE WRITING TO INQUIRE FROM YOU AND KNOW IF YOU HAVE SENT ALL YOUR BANKING INFORMATIONS TO THE BANK, SO THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANYTHING AT ALL TO DISFIGURE YOUR TRANSFER.

SINCE THE BANK HAS CONFIRMED THIER READINESS TO HAVE YOUR MONEY TRANSFERD, YOU ON YOUR OWN PART HAS TO CONFIRM YOUR OWN READIINESS TO RECIEVE THE MONEY BY SENDING THE FILL OPPENING FEE (That's a new one on me) WHICH IS $655.00 DOLLARS AND CHANGING OF THE OWNER SHEEP [/b](I've bought a sheep now?) WHICH WILL COST YOU $750.00 DOLLARS,AND THE TOTALL IS $1405 DOLLARS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

[b]BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU BEEN HEARING FROM YOUR REPRESENTATIVE, THE WISE OLD MAN MR KINGER
, (Now he is Kinger? How many names does this guy have?) DID HE KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE SENDING HIM THE MONEY WHICH HE WILL BRING DOWN HERE TO US, SO THAT WE SHALL SEND SOME COURT OFFICIALS TO THE BANK MANAGEMENT TO WITNESS YOUR TRANSFER? TELL YOUR REPRESENTATIVE THAT IF HE WISHES HE CAN BE AMONG THE TEAM WHO WILL GO TO THE BANK TO WITNESS YOUR TRANSFER.


AS WE HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT YOU SHOULD DO EVERYTHING WHICH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, SO THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO RECIEVE YOUR MONEY LIKE OTHER FORIEGN INVESTORS WHO HAS BEEN DEALING WITH THIS OUR HUMBLE COUNTRY WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS. (At least they are humble)

SO IF YOU KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE THIS TRANSFER TO BE UNHEALTHY, DO NOT DO IT, (??????) SEND EVER INFORMATIONS THAT THE BANK WILL NEED TO HAVE YOUR MONEY TRANSFERD TO YOU.

WE SHALL BE WAITING TO RECIEVE THE FILL OPPENING MONEY FROM YOUR REPRESENTATIVE, THE WISE OLD MAN, WHO HAS BEEN SHOWING HIS GENTLENESS SO FAR, (I don't know why, but that one cracks me up) AS SOON AS WE HEAR FROM HIM WITH THE MONEY, WE SHALL IMMEDIATELY SEND OUR SENIOR CLERK HERE WITH TWO SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE BANK WITH YOUR MONEY, SO THAT THEY WILL WITNESS YOUR TRANSFER AND BRING BACK THE RESULT TO US, THEY WILL BE THERE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR TRANSFER WORTH $1405.000 WILL BE EFFECTED WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM OR DELAY,WE ARE WAITING TO CONFIRM EVERYTHING OKAY BY YOU.

YOUR FUND WILL NOT TRANSFERED WITHOUT CHANGING OF THIS OWNER SHIP SO FOR THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT CHANGING OF THE OWNER SHIP.

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T FAIL THE TRUST WE HAVE IN YOU
REGARDS
Barr M1cheal 5abath.


I love this guy. He could possibly replace Dan at the top of my man-crush list.

_________________
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i will kill you even if it take me to go to jail i will do that because i hate you with all my life....
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FrumpyBB
Dean: Eater University


Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 5988
Location: Germany


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 4:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, whatīs the problem then? Very Happy
Why not showing some gentleness to send him the fill oppening money from or to Mr. Kerringkissinkinger, who was a wise old hen, and help the humble lawyer, who has three clerks and security people. Iīd do everything for an owner sheep, even if itīs changed Laughing
I guess the problem is to be earnest, because you donīt want to disfigure anything, do you?.

_________________
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rumbero
"Professional Liar"


Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 3677
Location: All the Salsa Night Clubs


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 5:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Your mugu seems so honest. I do believe that you hava a chance to
send a representative to witness the official transfer. Tell your mugu that your will be sending your lawyer with the money. Ask him where is the nearest airport and have your mugu meet your rep. Laughing

_________________
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YOUR WIFE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO A MONKEY, YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER FROM EPILEPTIC,
LET YOUR MOTHER FUCK YOUR BEST FRIEND. LET YOUR FATHER FUCK A MAD STREET WOMAN, USELESS INTERNET FRAUDSTER. (barrister Dan )
I bet u , soon , u will be laying in a close casket ,
will make u understand that i'm a spiritual man (Makinwa the retarded mugu)
in juses name u will dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
( Makinwa)
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jxd
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Posts: 756
Location: Altered by observation


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 5:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sometimes, they provide their own parodies. I doubt anyone could have written a worse letter on purpose!

Congrats.

Frame it! Wink

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asiaguy
Elite Baiter


Joined: 14 Apr 2006
Posts: 1180
Location: Me Luv U Long Time


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
THE WISE OLD MAN, WHO HAS BEEN SHOWING HIS GENTLENESS SO FAR,


@Jay...

It is only fitting that you purchased SHEEP with the help of the "gentle" old man.
Now what are the chances of getting a death threat out of the "gentle" old man? Laughing

_________________
You must be stupied and mad you bastard full she goat. (Charles Soludo)
Madam, is not your signature for Christ sack (Prince Tony Yobo William)
WOMAN YOU SMELL UR ASS SOON AND DIE LIKE RAT WAIT THERE (Barrister John Ola)
I will cock you in a bottle and add peper to your eyes while you will die (My lost love Lad...Morgan)
fuck off and never contact me any more get this insult to your entire family (Barrister Philip Nowoke after 9 futile trips to WU)
I don't know how you think they will be liking your asshole (Paul Mbecki - banker Lad)
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Worf
Elite Baiter


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 9:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think since Agn3s is a nice little old lady and Mr. Kess3nger is such a gentle old man, a potential romance might be in the cards.

Maybe Agn3s can ask the barrister to set her up? Laughing

_________________
"Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
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viereinsneun
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 365
Location: Planet Earth


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Jayhawk wrote:
....BY SENDING THE FILL OPPENING FEE (That's a new one on me) WHICH IS $655.00 DOLLARS .....

Jayhawk, your esteemed Barrister has obviously been frequenting some Ladies of the Night in the seedier parts of town and just wants to recoup those expenses. Wink
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