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flushmynutz
Master Baiter
Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 130
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 11:00 am |
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Each year, without fail we in the shipping business our fair share about things like "I bet Santa would not have lost this package" - and a variety of similar jabs proclaiming what a great flawless delivery service the fat guy runs.
In the name of fairness, we present some FACTS concerning his aledged deliveries...
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_________________ If you need shipping, you need to get
L.O.S.T. |
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 11:39 am |
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And Rudolph is a blackleg, as he's not a bone fide paid up member of the flying reindeer sleigh-pulling union. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:51 pm |
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Rudolph is a "she"
The horns in winter-time give it away. |
_________________
God will see you true for all this you have done to me you bastard. - Collins Kalu
MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY. - Dr Linda Akeem
oh what a mess its time cabbage punks like u will be expose for trully what they are. - David Cole |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:30 pm |
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I want to see Santa's tax report.
With all that production, he must have immense write-offs, but since he's not filing his costs, if he hasn't applied for some kind of VAT exemption, he's looking at 200-300 years with Bubba. |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Posted:
Tue Dec 25, 2007 7:42 pm |
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Excalibur
Master Baiter
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 134
Location: Wal-Mart
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:43 am |
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You forgot to take into account the "bowl full of jelly" factor, that thing absorbs G-Force like Lad absorbs abuse. |
_________________ "Please, sheat your scabbard." Tund3 Th0ma5
"i have every thing that a woman has," Ch1ka
" It sounds like you practice oral sex in the office with your secretary like your ex-president." and " I am beginning to see why you were so dumb to be scammed in the first place." -My dear D4v1d L4wr3nc3
"LOVE YOU AP0LL0 FROM THE BOARD OF MY HEART." S4ny4 |
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thud419
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3193
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:54 am |
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Shortly before the invention of the aeroplane it was proved that heavier-than-air flight was impossible.
Because nobody ever observes Santa, his exact position is never known and therefore he can use quantum uncertainty principles to spread himself over a significant proportion of the World's surface at the same time. That area travels west at 900 miles per hour - well within the capability of his propulsion system and not dangerous to life and limb. Likewise, the presents do not need to be in the sleigh at the same time. All that is necessary is that the North Pole is always within his area of uncertainty, although an astute operator would set up caches of presents around the World ahead of time, and I have not heard that Santa does not do this. |
_________________ Click here to feel warm and cozy.
I did not f**k your wife in any way -- Nike Akanbi
I don't know what else to do or do I continue filling and filling forms. -- Barr. Koloti
you has been dribbling me up and down but I will show some thing you have never seen before, I think you breath air wait and see. -- Barr. Cole
x14
x 0.25 won from Reaper in a sucker's bet
x8 x several |
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packman
Elite Baiter
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 1498
Location: In his own little world but it's ok, they know him there.
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:58 pm |
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its magic.... didnt any of you see the movie "the santa clause" that explained everything. now i have to go write a letter to the easter bunny asking for more mashmellow peeps and less of those cream fill eggs for next year. |
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Agi Hammerthief
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 12 Mar 2006
Posts: 671
Location: .de
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:34 pm |
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7243
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:24 pm |
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L.O.S.T? Arrrggg. Don't get me started on shippers. I've been tracking a shipment from Hammacher Schlemmer via DHL for two weeks. Last week the tracking said that the facility was closed. Humm... What does that mean? Was I not home? I found out that at 10:30 in the morning a DHL driver was too lazy to wait in a United States Postal Service line to drop off a package and logged that the USPS was closed. Whats even more silly is that DHL does not deliver to the door according to their customer disservice line. Why would someone pay to have an item shipped extremely slowly across country only to then have it put into the post office system? I asked the customer service rep since my brother got his Christmas gift delivered to his door by DHL last week what was his new story? One purchase, two tracking numbers, two stories, two lies and my Christmas present from my Mun still has not arrived.
This beats the 6 days it took Airborne Express to next day air deliver a package 8 miles to my house. On the 6th day, I got a phone call telling me it would be three more days as they did not deliver on weekends. I told them to send it UPS so that I could get it on Saturday. When they refused, I had to tell them to simply return it to the vendor, I would buy the item from somewhere else. It was delivered in under an hour. |
_________________ x8
LISTEN TO ME WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR ONE OF THOSE CHEAP CROOK OR WHAT -tobi donito
-a few,
LISTEN I CAN NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT ANY LONGER WE HAVE WHROTE A PETITION AGAINST YOU TO THE FBI WITH ALL OUR EVIDENCE YOU ARE INTO PROSTITUTION,DRUG DEALING, FORGERY, CREDIT CARDS FORGRY WESTEN UNION FALSIFICATION,DRUGING MEN,COMMETING MURDER, STEALING, DRUNCARD, ALL THIS WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROOF OUR CASE AGAINST YOU.-Johnson Hill
I am not finding it any funny...Henry A., Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, WIMPed
I am stranderd. Henry A. Lagos to Accra, WIMPed for 67 days.
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