Having a laugh with Grace Guei

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I received this utter nonsense earlier today:

Dearest one,

I want you to stand as our manager/investor to the sum of
US$10,500,000
( Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand United States
DollarsOnly) .I am Grace
Guei the daughter of Late Mr&Mrs Robert Guei the former
President of Cote
d'Ivoire After my parents death during political clashes in
Cote d'Ivoire,
I discovered that my late father deposited the sum of
US$10,500,000 in
a suspence account.
Since then my family has been constantly kept under strict
surveilance while
all my father's assets were consficated and seize by the
present Government
which left the family in total orphanage. Squel to this
fact,after a due
deliberation with my family members me decided to contact
you to assist
me to clear the fund so that this fund could be wired into
your account
directly without any hitch. As soon as the fund has been
wired into your
account, for onward investment in your country,I like you to
send me a Letter
of Invitation to meet with you for a business investment.

For your assistance, I am offering you 20% from the sum
which amounts However,
you have to really assure us and also we will like to go
into agreement
with you. If you agree to my terms, kindly as a matter of
urgency send me
an email. Due to surveilancy condition,and I am ready to
send all the documents
concerning the fund in the bank to you to enable you clear
the fund from
the bank. I will also like you to give me your contact
telephone to enable
me call you from time to time.

Please help me I remind the need for absolute
Confidentiality in this issue.If
you do not feel comfortable with this Business proposal, do
not hesitate
to discontinue.

Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Yours faithfully,

Grace Guei.

_______________________________________________

To which I replied:

Dear Grace,

I am Anna Rexia, high priestess of the Order of St Grinwald the imbecilic.
The amount you mention is indeed fantastic. My husband is Father Naval Lint,
of Luxembourg. I will certainly discuss this important issue with him, as soon
as he returns from his ballet lessons. Rolling Eyes

He is a man of great imbalance and
impertinence, and is the wealthiest man in Hasta la Vista Baebi, Spain.

Our church is always looking for new followers, and we strictly only deal
with people of our order. Were we to accept your very generous offer,
we would require you to do the very great honour of joining our church.
This requires a simple ceremony to take place, and photographic evidence
of said ceremony, and then we would be truly delighted to enter into
proper financial negotiations with you.

Assuring you of my best and most honest misgivings at all times,

Anna Rexia

Twisted Evil

____________________________________________________

Grace Replies, with dodgy photo:

<img src="http://RandS.Holman.org/Grace.jpg" width="228" height="480" />

Dear Anna Rexia

I received and read your letter with gratitude to God.And I am impressed with your reply and persuaded to fulfil my heart desires, that is why I am trusting and believing your sincerity to appropriate this accordingly.

I will want you to send me your full informations such as your full name,address,telephone and fax numbers,This will able me to call you time to time.

You should get back to me when after you have discuse with him.I will wait for your response for us to forgeahead in the transaction.

I am very happy that your husband is a man of God.I have 100%trust now to deal with your family.I will attached my photo now for you to see me.

waiting for the informations.

Yours faithfully.
Grace.

____________________________________________________

So, here is my bizarre response:

My Dearest Grace,

Thankyou for your quick response. I have to say I am not very
familar with modern technology. We live in a semi-anachronistic
religious commune, high in the mountains of Timiwasteria, in
southern Spain, although I am originally from the island of Skye,
in Scotland, hence I speak english, rather than spanish. We have
no telephone or fax, primarily as the local geography does not
permit telephone lines to be laid in the mountains, but also, our
particular archaic and nonsensical brand of christianity has no
need for such modern forms of communication. Therefore, we
rely entirely on wi-fi, bluetooth and our 4Mb broadband connection
as contact with the outside world. I do hope you will understand.

I can give you our full address with the deepest pleasure and insincerity:

Mrs A Rexia
The Holy Church of St Grinwald
The Cloisters,
Mountain 42
Montilla
Cordoba
Spain

I have discussed this issue with my husband, who flew into our mountain top
airport last night in his private jet from the Ukraine, where he has been recruiting
new converts to our beautiful religion. He is most enthusiastic about the
transaction, and developed a small rash due to all the excitement! He is fine
now though. It's strange how money and beautiful women always have that
effect on him, and he hasn't even seen your wonderful photo yet! I will have
to pacify him prior to letting see your picture, lest he break out all over. I will
pray for him tonight, after I have finished my evening meal of oysters, lobster,
chips (with salt & vinegar, of course) and beer. This is a typical frugal meal of
our church, I trust you will understand. My husband said he would be delighted
to have further dealings with you, but he insisted that you must be a virgin,
and must convert to our religion, as I suggested before. There are various things
you will also need to do as a sign of goodwill. As our sign of our goodwill to you, we
would like to extend an inivitation to visit us in our bleeding great church. You
will stay with us for one month, and will have lavish gifts imposed on you, from
which you will show no remorse. You will be fed Biltong and beef jerky in the
morning, banana and custard for lunch and the evening meal will mostly comprise
alchoholic beverages. I trust this is satisfactory? You will be required to help
generally about the place, maybe a bit of cleaning work, a little typing, and perhaps
some minor structural work on the outbuildings. Please, please say you'll come
and visit us! In the meantime, I will get my accounts people to get primed,
ready for handling such vast amounts of cash as you mention above. My husband
is travelling again, he is staying here for two more days, and then he is off to Romania
to buy some exploding pantaloons. Pyrotechnics always fascinate him, and they distract
him from all those rashes he gets, poor soul. Please pray for him, I beg you! If there
is anything further you need from me, please let me know. I am extremely anxious
to get things underway. We are poor people, and live by the word of God. Any
funds will be gratefully received. As I mentioned before, we will require you
to convert to our religion before proceeding further. Is this a problem? If you
kindly agree, I will send you full instructions on how you can join our wondrous
community, and benefit fully from the church of St Grinwald the imbecilic.

All my love, and the very kindest regards,

Anna Rexia

__________________________________________________

Hmm. She obviously didn't get the part about my not using phone or fax.

Confused

Dearest Mrs Anna Rexia,

Thanks for the email and your willingness to assit me in this transaction.I know in my heart now that here abidjan is not safe again for me to stay as the only daughter of the late president.Mr and Mrs Robert Guei.I reside now in the church perishes because of the rebels.
Since my late father died I don't have any right to make any withdraw from this money he deposited in a bank here because he deposited the money in a fixed deposit /suspence account.This is due to the contract bond or aggrement made by my late father.The only way out is to get the fund transfered into foreign account.Before I can have access to the money

HE ALSO TOLD ME HE USED MY NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DEPOSIT OF THE MONEY WITH THE BANK ,WITH THE DEATH OF MY FATHER I BECAME THE INHERITOR TO THE MONEY HE LEFT IN MY NAME AS NEXT OF KIN.WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK TO MEET THE DIRECTOR FOR THE RELEASE OF THE MONEY TO ME ,HE TOLD ME THAT THE MONEY IS IN A FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNT IN THEIR BANK AS SUCH I WILL NEED A FOREIGN BANK ACCOUNT IF I WANT TO CLAIM THE MONEY NOW OR ALTERNATIVELY I SHOULD WAIT FOR THE STIPULATED YEARS IN THE AGREEMENT DOCUMENT OF THE DEPOSIT MY LATE FATHER MADE WITH THEM WHICH STATES THAT ON MY 30TH BIRTHDAY I SHOULD BE ALLOWED FULL ACCESS TO THE DEPOSIT ,THIS I CANNOT WAIT TILL I AM 30 YEARS OF AGE .MY AGE NOW IS 22YRS.
THIS IS WHY I NEED YOUR HELP AS A FORIEIGN PERSON TO CLAIM THE MONEY FROM THE BANK HERE AND GET IT TRANSFERED TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN COUNTRY .I WAS FORMERLY ATTENDING UNIVERSITY EDUCATION I STOPED AT MY YEAR TWO,I WAS READING ENGLISH EDUCATION AND BUISNESS STUDIES.I WILL LIKE TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE IN YOUR COUNTRY AND FINISH UP MY SCHOOLING THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY .SO ONCE THE BANK TRANSFERS THE MONEY TO YOU I WILL START MAKING ARRANGEMENT TO COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY .

I have submitted all the necssary documents to the bank,which they demanded.As a matter that requires urgent attention call the bank OR email the bank and get the informations need for the immediate transfer.

Call the Bank Director .
EQUITY AND TRUSTBANK
Tel+225 07 18 80 39
fax+225 21 24 53 21
Email:equitytrustbank_ci@mail2world.

AV. JOSEPH ANOMA PLATEAU
O1 BP.1013 ABIDJAN 01.
R.C.I
Call the Bank for the attention of Dr.Pichop Jean, the Bank Director and tell him you
are calling in respect of Miss Grace Guei the next of kin of the fund in their bank.
After you have contacted the Bank you should also contact me to feed me back on your discusions with them. Thanks and God bless you for having the mind to assist me.

AFTER HIS DEATH ALL HIS KNOWN RELATIONS TO ME ARE ONLY AFTER COLLECTING THE DOCUMENTS OF THE DEPOSIT FROM ME ,SO I DECIDED TO TAKE MY DESTINY INTO MY OWN HANDS BY CHOOSING SOMEONE THAT IS OUT SIDE THIS COUNTRY FOR SECURITY OF MY LIFE AS I DO NOT TRUST ANY BODY FROM MY LATE FATHER FOREIGN PARTNERS AGAIN .

I WILL DEFINITELY BELONG TO YOUR RELIGION WHEN I COME DOWN TO YOUR COUNTRY.GO AHEAD AND CONTACT THE BANK FOR THE TRANSFER.AS SOON AS THE FUND IS WIRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THEN SEND ME LETTER OF INVITATION TO COME OVER.THANKS AGAIN FOR WILLY TO HELP ME. Embarassed

(I didn't think I'd made suggestions of *that* sort).

YOURS SINCERELY

GRACE GUEI.

____________________________________________

...and my confused response:

My Dear Grace,

Thankyou for the additional information. However, I am somewhat confused.
I said in my previous email to you that I don't have access to either a telephone
or a fax machine. We live on top of a mountain, and there are no such facilities
available. Therefore, my only form of contact must remain email. Feel free to
contact anyone on my behalf, I can provide all the relevant details you require.
I am 145km from the nearest town, and rarely leave the commune, due to a
very rare genetic disorder that means I often suffer extremely violent bouts of
flatulence. I also have an adverse reaction to aardvarks, of which there are many
thousands in this part of Spain. Furthermore, due to the strict code of conduct
we live by in the majestic church of St Grinwald the imbecilic, I am unable to make
any business transactions with strangers unless they are true believers of our divine faith.

What this means, in essence, is that my elders will need you to prove your belief
and understanding in our faith before any monetary transactions may take place.
It is a simple procedure. All I need from you, is to prove to me that you are who
you say you are, and to prove your committment to my ideology and faith. What
I need you to do straightaway, is to have your photo taken with a declaration of
belief. The declaration can be written in large ink, and held across your chest.
This declaration should have the following statement, one which all our believers
adhere to, as part of the indoctrination process. Please write the following words
on a piece of card, in large ink: My God, I am truly imbecilic!

This will prove to me, and more importantly, the elders of my religion, that you
are a real believer, honest and devout. There is no greater accolade than to be
truly imbecilic as was the founder of our wondrous and hermaphroditic order,
St Grinwald. Please follow my instructions quickly and carefully, and then we can
immediately progress with the transaction you describe. I am not asking much of
you, and in return, we will have established a divine relationship, blessed by God
himself. We will forever be bound together, and we, of the order of St Grinwald
shall always love and protect you. You will be our sheep, to nuture, feed, clothe
and impregnate with our holy seed. Rejoice! Undulge our wishes, and you will
be part of an international community dedicated to helping those more fortunate
than ourselves. I think our relationship is the beginning of something beautiful.

Please respond quickly. I truly want to help your cause!

May God love, protect and intimidate you.

Anna Rexia

_____________________________________________

This means I have to explain yet again! Someone is
not paying attention to the detail. Sad

Still it sounds
promising...

Dear Anna Rexia

Thanks for the informations and the your willingness to help me.Please tell me everything I need to do to belong to your religion.How it works and what must be done to be member. Razz

Explain it for me in details.step by step Mrs Anna.I am waiting to hear from you soon.I now understand the area you are residing in spain.We can communicating by emails no problem.

waiting to hear from you soon.

your sincerely

Grace.

________________________________________________

I'm still hauling her in...

Dear Grace,

That is wonderful , wonderful news! The procedure is as follows:
Dress in your best clothes, as a mark of respect. Hold a bible in
your right hand (if you don't have a bible, any book will do), as
it's purely ceremonial.

Write the following words on a white tee-shirt, or a large piece
of card, clearly, and carefully: MY GOD, I AM TRULY IMBECILIC!

Use big letters, so that it's clear to the camera. Then, take several
photo's of yourself, and forward them to me as soon as possible.
I will then examine them carefully, and send them to our elders
for approval. This will prove your pious acknowledgement of St Grinwald
the imbecilic as the father of our most shambolic religion. As long as
you have followed my instructions properly, this should just be a formality, and you will be made a member of our splendid order straight away. Then, we will continue our financial correspondence to its conclusion.

I am looking forward with undeniable glee to receiving the pictures.
God help you and negate your every waking moment! Laughing

Love and regards,

Anna Rexia

____________________________________________

...and just when things were going so well:

>Dear Anna,
>
> I have been going through your emails since yesterday.I have to tell the pastor about your decisions before assitting me in this transaction.
>
>He said to me ,I should tell you to send some members ofy our church that have done such act placing their photos on their chest with the bold letters of whatever you said I should do ,so that he will look at it to know if it is really God you people are serving.Sorry I have to sound this way.It doesn's want me to serve man INSTEAD of the living God.
>
>Please do attached the photos of your members to me.ok
>
>I am waiting to see two of it before I decide what to do.
>
>yours sincerely.
>
>Grace.

_______________________________________________

So, I played the 'we don't use fangled devices' card:

Dear Grace,

I understand the concerns of your pastor. Please be assured that we
are pious people, and only serve God. As I have previously stated, we
are simple folk, and do not use the latest technology. Whilst I would
be delighted to send you photos of our congregation, we do not own either a scanner or a digital camera. We have no need for such trivial
devices. We prefer to use our money in helping to develop our church,
and to help members of our flock. We also do a great deal for various
charities around the world. There is nothing sinister about our wanting
your photos, as previously described, but as I informed you in earlier
emails, we cannot proceed further with your financial arrangements
without them. I do hope you understand. I must go now, as it is
time for morning prayers.

Love and best wishes,

Anna Rexia

_________________________________________________

I've still not heard anything back, so it may have gone cold. However, I have given it one more try:

Dear Grace,

I am just sending this as I haven't heard from you for a few days.
I am still eager to accept you into our faith, and to get your
financial arrangements under way, for our mutual benefit. Please
let me know how you are progressing with the photos, and give
me full instructions on what I need to do next.

May God beautify your eiderdown.

Anna Rexia
_________________________________________________

To which I received a quick response:

>DEAR ANNA
> THANKS FOR REMINDING ME AGAIN.I AM NOT VERY SATISFY WITH YOUR ARRANGEMENTS.I TRUSTED YOU MUCH IN THIS TRANSACTION.OK.
>
>LETS DO IT THIS WAY BECAUSE I AM PLEASED IN THIS WAY.WHEN YOU HELP ME GET THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.THEN WHEN I COME OVER AND SEE THINGS FOR MYSELF.IF IT IS OK WITH MY MIND AND SPIRIT THEN I WILL JOIN.
>IF I AM NOT PLEASE WITH IT.THEN I WILL GIVE YOU 20% OF THE TOTAL MONEY THEN ESTABLISHED THE MONEY WITH AN INVESTOR IN YOUR COUNTRY.
>
>I WILL START MY EDUCATION IMMEDIATELY.WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
>
>YOURS SINCERELY
>GRACE.

___________________________________________

I'll keep saying 'photo's first' to her, until she gives in:

Dear Grace,

Thanks for your response. I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments,
however, as I explained in my previous emails, for my elders to accept
you as someone in whom we can trust, I still need the photo's at the very
least, so that we can get down to transferring funds into my account.
You don't have to join us at this stage, only to show your respect for
our beliefs.

As soon as I have the images, I will give you full details of my bank and
the account number and sort code etc. It shouldn't take you long to
take three or four pictures, so hopefully we can get the transaction
going early next week.

Thanks in advance.

Kindest regards,

Anna Rexia

______________________________________________

Now she reckons she doesn't have a scanner. How did she
manage to send me the last photo then?

Dear Anna,
>
> I wish to see your own photo.You have seening mine before.I am not doubting your belief or religion.When I come down to spain we talk about the details of belonging to your religion.
>
>Tell the elders that their is no scan machine in my house now.I would have done it.I am not safe in this country for me to be runing around for scan machine.So help me if you wish to do so.Afterall when my money is transfered in to your account.You will surely see me.
>
>My photo will not do anything for them now.I am the real person.Think of it anna.ok
>
>Try and understand me here.I am very sincere with you and your religion.
>
>waiting for your asittance ,ok
>
>God Bless Us
>
>Grace.

_____________________________________________

Ok, well, we'll see about that:

Dear Grace,

Much as I would like to send you a photo, as I said before, I have no scanner,
and do not own a digital camera. We do not have a requirement for them in
our church. Please understand it is not I who requires the photo's, it is my
elders. I have spoken with them this afternoon, and whilst they believe you
to be an honest person, and God fearing, they insist I cannot proceed with
any financial operations with you without seeing your photo, holding the
card as previously described. The photo you sent before could have been
anyone, so by holding a card, we can be certain that it is really you.
I am anxious to get the financial operation into action, as our church needs
the money desperately. If it's not possible for you to get me the photo's,
then I am really sorry, but there is nothing further I can do for you. I do
hope you understand.

Kind regards,

Anna Rexia

_____________________________________________

I have decided to have one more go:

Dear Grace,

I haven't heard from you in a while, and I miss your emails.
I have been wondering how you were. I have recently come
into quite a lot of money, amazingly. I won the Spanish lottery,
and last week collected over $3,000,000! Can you believe it?
I am therefore in a much better position to join your transaction,
in order to make some more money. Let's see if we can now get
things going shall we? Find some way of sending me your photo,
as previously described, and I promise I will send you a gift. I
also have the money for your solicitor's fees. Just tell me how
much you need. Give me your full address, so that I can send
you my special gift, and a cheque for the fees.

Best wishes, and may God retch on your eiderdown.

Anna Rexia

_________________________________________________

I thought I'd lost her, but we're still going...

>From: grace guei <[email protected]>
>Subject: Thanks.
>Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2004 08:44:07 -0700 (PDT)
>
>
>Dear Anna Rexia,
>
> Thanks for the mail.I am very happy to hear from you again.Pastor advice me not to send my photo till I know what extually you people worship.So....Trusting you is what I am not afriad off.....Because I know you will not betray me in it.
>
>I am very happy that you won the lottery .God will keep on blessing you....
>
>Extend my greetings to your husband.If you wish to help me please do....but no photo sending for the elders..in the church.I know only you ...not the elders.
>
>waiting for your assittance
>
>your sincerely
>
>Grace.

_________________________________________________

Dear Grace,

Thankyou, that is excellent. We are deeply Christian people, who
greatly admire Saint Grinwald the Imbecilic. Saint Grinwald, as
your pastor will no doubt tell you, was a swedish Arch Bishop, who
massacred thousands of turkish muslims who were invading Europe
in the 16th century. We admire him greatly, and our Christian faction
is dedicated to his memory, for without Saint Grinwald, Christianity
in Europe would have been wiped-out, and Islam would have prevailed,
not just in Europe, but throughout the world. We worship God, but
defend Saint Grinwald. This is why I need your photo. The original
photo you sent me, I have seen elsewhere on the Internet. It's not
that I think that you are a fake, but without a photo of you, I cannot
proceed. I hope you realise that if I had a genuine photo of you
holding a large card proclaiming 'My God, I am truly imbecilic!' then
it could only possibly be you, and no-one else. Any other photo
could be a forgery, and there are a lot of scams going around, as I'm
sure you are aware. So, please excuse my suspicions. Send me the
photo as described, and I will send you the money, say $500 and a
special gift to cement our friendship and trust in one another. I am
prepared to respect your privacy, and so the photo will be strictly
between you and me. I now have the money to help you, so the
elders need not be involved from now on.

May God trespass against you and your kinfolk.

Best wishes,

Anna Rexia

Let's see if the idea of $500 gets her juices flowing.

_____________________________________________________

Um, apparantly not:

Instead, she has sent me the original photo, another fake photo of the same girl, a couple of badly-forged id photos and a barely-readable newspaper article. Stupid mugu! Evil or Very Mad

Dear Anna Rexia,

Thanks for your email.I saw the photo and content was okay....Sending you photo is not my problem but my problem is holding sign board writing such things on it....I really do not understand the meaning of it......I have been thinking at it,I mean what is the real meaning of it all.Mine is true...Maybe,you have deal with wrong people before or liers on this earth.I am a little girl that just need your assittance to help me transfer my inherittance....Why ?because here is not safe again for me to call anybody to invest the money here because of the criese here and there.....My pastor support me...with the ideal but the photo aspect he didn't suport it.

Listen.....I am not after your money .....I am want you to help me get my money safe when the fund is transfered into your account.....So whatever it may cost you to help me transfer this fund into your account is my interest.....Then I can come over and meet..you ...then settle down and have my freedom from all the problems of government (politics).I just celebrateted my birthday last week quitely with some friends in the pastor house.Anyway,I have attached a photo of me again for you to see me....I will send you my father's late photo with my identity card because they are so many things going in this world....Anyway I am really,really trust......you you you....

ok....wait for my passport...later today.

Grace.

___________________________________________________

Here is the second installment of her inane attempt at hoodwinking me
with obviously-faked images and ID cards :

Dear Rexia Anna

I have attach my identity card.....My full names are there...GRACE MARIE GUEI.

The photo one was the photo of my late father when he was murder.....the photo was my identity card......I will not carry sign board as you can see....then seeto it if you will help me.Now can I see your own photo.....Just for us to esbalished a stronge relationship.

waiting!!!!

your grace marie guei

__________________________________________________

Blah. I'm tempted to let rip at this stage and come clean about baiting her. What do you think?

Here are the fake images:

<img src="http://RandS.Holman.org/grace2.jpg" width="250" height="361" />

In fact, the passport photo is so crap I'm not even going to bother. It's a Word document of half a meg as well.

The newspaper article concerning her 'father's' death is rubbish too.

Therefore, I am sending her 'my' photo:

<img src="http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/s/c/scc144/nun.jpg" width="235" height="297" />

I have also sent her a photo of my 'husband' - Malcolm McDowell playing a gangster:

My email to Grace:

Dear Grace,

Please find attached my photo, and that of my husband.

I will send you my bank details later.

Best wishes, in the name of St Grinwald,

Anna Rexia
_________________________________________________

A couple of hours later, this appears in my inbox:

Dear Anna
Thanks for the email my sincerely Anna.I saw the photos you sent to me.

Well,without wasting much time.....I am waiting for it soon,and your bank details.I will go to the bank today to get all the details for the transfer.

I love you and will always love you. (Yuk! Mad

)

Yours sincerely
Grace.
______________________________________________

I find it incredible that Grace hasn't commented on the outrageous photos I sent her. Still, here's her response:

Dear Anna,

How are you today? Hope fine.I am hoping seriously on you for this noble transaction.You know ,I do not go out because of the political situation of the country now.My hope and destiny now lies on you my sincerely Anna

Pastor went to the bank on my behalf to find out the requirements need for the fund to be transfered.This was the outcome:

THE BANK WILL NEED THE BELOW INFORMTAION:

(1)FULL NAME, AND ADDRESS ,TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS.

(2)ACCOUNT INFORMATIONS OF YOU WHERE THE FUND WILL BE WIRED.

(4)SCAN COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENCE FOR IDENTIFICATIONS PURPOSES.

(4)CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY FROM THE HIGH COURT OF THE MINISTRY OF JUSTICE ABIDJAN.

(5)FINALLY WE NEED A LAWYER TO DO THIS DOCUMENTS NEEDED FROM THE BANK FROM THE MINISTRY OF JUSTICE.CONCLUSIVELY THIS SAME LAWYER WILL SIGN THE RELAESE ORDER ALSO.

PASTOR HAS SUMMITTED THE LETTER OF INTENT TO THE BANK RECONGNISING YOU AS THE FAMILY TRUSTEE MANAGER WHOM HAS THE RIGHT TO PROVIDE AN ACCOUNT TO TRANSFER THIS FUND.AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM YOU.PASTOR WILL HELP US CONTACT A REPUTABLE LAWYER TO HELP US WITH ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATIONS AND TO EFFECT THE TRANSACTION SUCCESSFULLY.

PLEASE TREAT THIS AS URGENT.

BEST REGARDS

GRACE MARIE GUEI

_____________________________________________________

I have sent her a couple of DLL files that I renamed as jpg's to annoy
her and waste her time. It will also fill up her inbox! Razz

Dear Grace,

Please find attached scans of my driving license. I will send you
a scan of my passport in my next email.

I will be delighted to send you my bank details as soon as my
husband gets home tomorrow from Algeria. He holds the keys
to our safe, where all our banking documents are held.

By the way, it's best not to write in capitals, as this is considered
rude here in Spain.

Thanks, my putrid little friend.

_______________________________________________________

I have resent the DLL files, with some strange and disturbing comments from Anna, who is now becoming increasingly eccentric. I tried posting the
email contents to this page, but I got an error telling me I could only edit my own posts?! Ergo, I lost the comments, since I don't save my emails to my sent directory. Maybe she will include them in her exasperated response.
________________________________________________________

Surprisingly, she barely flinches:

Dear Anna,

Thanks for your efforts towards this transactions.Your full name and address is needed.... for the change of the beneficiary from the high court of the ministry of justice.My name in the documents of the deposit will be change into your name immediately from the high court.This is very necessary mother......So that the fund will be wired directly into your account.

The pastor is very busy now with his services in his church to do all the runings.I cannot withdraw from the money in the bank because of the bond of contract made by my later father which is my 30th birthday.I told you before that I cannot wait til then.I have told you this issues before.....I do not have money at hand to go out and contact a lawyer to help us.I want you to know that the success of the transfer is my aim and that is the reason I have stayed with you for long.So mother do send me some money to do the runings myself.....Since that is the only way out for me.

Pray for me also.I am waiting for your full names and address and the some money to do the runing around for the change of beneficairy from the court.Mother I am trusting you very much in this transaction.

waiting !!!!

yours daughter

grace.

______________________________________________________

Dear Grace,

You already have my full address - I sent it to you a while back.

However, in case you have mislaid it, here it is again:

Mrs A Rexia
The Holy Church of St Grinwald
The Cloisters,
Mountain 42
Montilla
Cordoba
Spain

If you would be good enough to give me your full address, I will send you a cheque,
to help you in your hour of need. I am chortling over your predicament. Will $500
be enough?

Love and many happy retards,

Anna Rexia
__________________________________________________________

Dear Anna,
Thanks for the mail and reminding me......Your address is here before with me,just want to be sure that there is no change on it.

I am very happy that you understand my situations mother...My sincerely mother please send the money through money gram or western union.

MISS MARIE GRACE GUEI
AVE 15 RUE 12 COCODDY.
ABIDJAN
COTE D'IVOIRE.

Mother I am waiting to hear from you soon,so that I will put things in order before I receive your account informations.

yours sincerely
GRACE MARIE GUEI

_________________________________________________________

I have sent her details of a South African diplomat, who I think
is based very near to where 'Grace' claims to be. I also said that
I had problems with Western Union, so would prefer to send a cheque.

Dear Grace,

I contacted Western Union, and they said they were unable to help me
due to administrative problems. Therefore, I can only really send you a cheque.

My husband has a friend in Abidjan who can help you. Contact him as soon
as possible, and ask him to send cash to your address. His name is Dumisani G. GWADISO,
and you can contact him either by visiting him at this address:

Cocody, Avenue Jacques Aka
08 BP 1806, Abidjan 08

Or you can phone him on the following number:

(225) 22 44 59 63

Dumisani is a good friend, and can give you cash. Let me know how you
get on. In the meantime, I will make out a cheque for $500 and make it
out to Marie Grace Guei. I will post it tomorrow morning.

With my blessings,

Anna Rexia

____________________________________________________

Yawn. I'm getting a little bored with Grace now. Here's the latest:

>From: grace guei <[email protected]>
>To: Anna Rexia
>Subject: RE: From Grace.
>Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004 06:05:14 -0700 (PDT)
>
>
>Dear Mother
>
> Do not confuse me again.I didn't give you any address to post it.I only said,you should use western union money transfer or money gram.
>
>I do not know your husband friend,I have been communicating with you only.anyway...I am asume you didn't send me any money.I am waiting for the informations of the western union.
>
>love and respect
>
>grace.

_________________________________________________________

Dear Grace,

It appears that I sent a cheque for $500 to the wrong address. Apologies,
I am old and infirm. Western Union said they can not help me at the moment,
due to technical problems here in Spain. There is nowhere here for me to
send a money gram. Surely, you are able to cash a cheque? It is possible
to cash a cheque anywhere in the world. Give me your address, and I will
immediately send you a cheque.

Thanks and contrafibularities,

Anna Rexia

______________________________________________________

Here's that address again:

Grace,

I'm not going mad am I? Here is the address you sent me in your
last email:

MISS MARIE GRACE GUEI
AVE 15 RUE 12 COCODDY.
ABIDJAN
COTE D'IVOIRE

Isn't this your postal address? Anyway, that is the address to which I have
sent the cheque.

Best wishes,

Anna Rexia

_______________________________________________________

Here's her response:

From : grace guei <[email protected]>
Sent : Thursday, August 26, 2004 7:26 PM

Dear Mother,
If you wish to send it through cheque.It is ok...But make sure MOTHER you register it with FEDEX COURIER SERVICE or DHL COURIER SERVICES.
With this the cheque will not lost at all.Buy a christain book and put the cheque inside it and register it with this address:28 bp 1313 abidjan 28 Cote d' Ivoire.This is the church address where I am staying.

As soon as you send it .Give me the track number for which you used in sending it for me to track it here in abidjan .Note Mother register it with fedex or DHL.It is very safe here to receive it through register courier company's.

Mother may God keep you.

Love and respect Mother
Grace Marie Guei.

___________________________________________________

My response back to Grace is:

Dearest Grace,

That sounds like a great game plan y'all. I'm going to Kazakhstan this evening,
as I have decided to donate one of my kidneys to a mountain goat herder who
is dying of insomnia. I will be away for a few days, possibly until next Thursday,
depending on how the operation goes, and whether I die or not. Please pray
for me!

I promise I will send you the cheque as soon as I am able.

See you soon lover,

Anna Rexia

______________________________________________________

Enter the accountant, to waste a little more time:

Hello Grace,

My name is Father Arnold Layne. Anna Rexia has contacted
me in respect to a Western Union transaction for $500, which
she was unable to send prior to her depature to Kazakhstan.

She has asked me to send you this money inside a Christian
book. Unfortunately, Anna didn't have time to give me your
address. Therefore, please could you send me your full
address, and the reason Anna is sending you the money?

I am her accountant, and need to record all such monetary
transactions.

Thanks & best wishes,

Arnold

___________________________________________________

...and Grace's troubled response:

Dear Father Arnold
Mother Anna is whom I have trusted with my whole life.What I have with mother anna is bewteen me (her daughter) and she mother anna.Please I can't start telling you all the story again.Mother should brief you because she was the one that instructed you now with what you are about to do.
If you are sending it with western union:
my name is: grace marie guei
abidjan
cote d' ivoire.
I prefer western union,so that everything can be concluded soon.waiting!!!

May God keep mother anna wee. Shocked

Grace marie guei.

_________________________________________________________

I have finally tired of Grace, so I promised to send her some money using WU, and asked her to confirm the details via email. Then, to really piss her off, I bounced her email back to her as unreachable, using Mailwasher, and then had her email account shut down! Bwa ha haaaah!

Laughing

Can't wait for my next victim...

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