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Otterfan
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters
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Posted:
Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:20 pm |
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I've been having a tentative and "will we, won't we?" sort of relationship between my female character and an inheritance scammer. We've been through many ordeals and they've only strengthened the feelings between us, I'm sure.
Friday, however, my character found that she had lost her job (after promising to pay some delivery fees when she got paid on the 10th---what rotten luck, huh?), so she poured her heart out to the lad and begged him to help.
This is his reply. What a sweet guy! He knows what's important at times like this.
J0seph wrote: |
Sir/ Madam, I love that personal opening!
This is to inform you that I am so busy here in Lagos but surely darling you know their will be time for writhing you of course you know I love you dearly, I don�t want to know what happened but that�s it you lost your job not your life and I warn you I don�t want to hear you have a psychological break down you better stop it now the earlier is better. In other words, stop your crying, you whiny little bitch, it's not the end of the world.
Similarly, we have to do something to get your inheritance soon tell me they must have given you a pay off normally if the terminate your job. Tell me how much you have now so that I see how we start doing things to release your fund.
Darling I lover you so much I watch your photo every day its here I my desk top, baby will you like to marry me. Let me know your answer and try to get gbp400.00 (four hundred pounds) so that we try and ship your card by Thursday 13th of December. = "Will you marry me? Oh, and send some money, eh?"
Waiting for your urgent response my dear wife and don�t Cray again I am by your side precious ho11y. |
I suspect he writes verses in greetings cards as a hobby. |
_________________ PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
<--TS certified.
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Tuco
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 1098
Location: On a desert safari.
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Posted:
Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:38 pm |
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Quote: |
tell me they must have given you a pay off normally if the terminate your job. Tell me how much you have now so that I see how we start doing things to release your fund. |
Lover boy deserves a safari into the Sahara. |
_________________ "My broda. i like ur guts it shows u are a full guy." - Williams H0lm
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"you are a very ungreatful and wicked person." - Veronica K0ffi
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"There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend."
x8 (Thanks Corona) |
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jxd
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Posts: 756
Location: Altered by observation
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Posted:
Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:23 pm |
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Or perhaps sterilization.
Romance baits make me the angriest. |
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"I have the Consignment Code here with me which I will send to you and without this Code no Human Being can open that Box"
EmailParser
Ponies taste like cyanide and happiness. |
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Jayhawk
Baiting Guru
Joined: 07 Jul 2006
Posts: 5727
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Posted:
Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:42 pm |
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Code: |
... wife and don�t Cray again I am ... |
What's he got against Robert Cray? |
_________________ x8 < slacking?
just checked the site for update now, shipment smurfs in Porto Novo. Yes!! - Stanley
i will not share my smurfs with anybody again - Stanley (again)
Yes pets are allowed as far as you will occupy the apartment alone, you can release the Kraken.
i will kill you even if it take me to go to jail i will do that because i hate you with all my life....
assisin killer to Feathers McGraw
PLEASE I BEG YOU TO LET ME KNOW THAT PIGGIES OF YOURS PLEASE... assisin killer to Feathers again
x5 Team Humphere
Long Live Silver Peak Orphanage! - Loan Lad Langwenya Andile |
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PRS Girly Girl
Will Post for Food
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 1174
Location: Any place where cute shoes are on sale.
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Posted:
Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:49 am |
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Unfortunately, his scolding has caused a further and more intense psychological breakdown and a lot of uncontrollable crying. You are extremely distraught and can not possibly think about getting and sending money. A sincere and heartfelt apology is the only thing to get you out of your breakdown. Slap this lad around until his head is spinning like a top. |
_________________ "A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are." Chauncey Mitchell Depew
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein
x3
Banjul, The Gambia to Dakar, Senegal and back. 0usman C4mar4 |
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Betelgeuse
419Eater is my life
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 466
Location: Between the North and South Poles
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Posted:
Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:10 am |
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J0seph wrote: |
Sir/ Madam, I love that personal opening!
This is to inform you that I am so busy here in Lagos but surely darling you know their will be time for writhing |
The only one that needs "writhing" is this bastard.
Of course, in your grief and with your fragile mental state being what it is, you sent the money via WUX to Ghana or Niger instead. Oh, and your dyslexia from childhood came back because of all the stress he has forced upon you.
B |
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Otterfan
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters
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Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:39 pm |
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It gets worse.
I replied and told him that I'd been given just one week of pay as my final payment from the company, and that there's no way I could pay this month's rent now, so could I stay at this house while he's in Nigeria? (He's claiming to be from the UK, currently in Nigeria for business.)
His reply this morning:
Lad wrote: |
Sir/ Madam, He still doesn't know what sex my character is?
This is to inform you that I have received your mail and is very ok that your becoming yourself and tiring to make out good from bad, darling don�t make me to cancel this appointment and come back to UK to marry you, write now aim in short of money I have to receive some due payment soon.
Meanwhile, you have to se what you do I will allow you to stay in my house but you have to assist to make approvals of your inheritance.
Note: this is very serious you have to find a way and sale some of your stuff and send me the required GBP480.00 (Four hundred and Eighty pounds) so that we arrange everything and I will make a place for you will your inheritance is been approved. Sell some of my stuff???
I wait for your reply so that I will give you the payment name to send the money. |
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_________________ PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
<--TS certified.
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:40 pm |
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You better have a garage sale, and sell your antique Barbie Dolls, then. |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
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Betelgeuse
419Eater is my life
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 466
Location: Between the North and South Poles
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Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:42 pm |
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This lad needs to become gynephobic.
B |
_________________ [ <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=12">Getting Started</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=24605">FAQs</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5413">Rules</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=32877">Ethics</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=122306">Request Mentor</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=81028">Premium Benefits</a> - <a href="http://www.scamwarners.com/">Refer Victims Here</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=119780">Report Bank Acct</a> ] x25 |
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4X1X9
Baiting Guru
Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 5905
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Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:36 pm |
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Quote: |
= "Will you marry me? Oh, and send some money, eh?" |
Now why didn't I think of asking my wife to be to do that before we got married Probably because it would have ended with me getting a belt around the chops I suppose |
_________________ I can sense tunes of unnecessary logic in your mails, meaning that you can never work with us to actualize this project no matter how we try to convince you - Mr. Chidi 0kpala
You will have to munch the statistics of the transfer so I can give to them - Mr. James Hessom Hessom
If not that you only hide behind computer and be playing prawns with us - Benny Clifford
France - Luxembourg
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x85 - 2019 x9 -2020
(Grand Total 1,262) |
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Otterfan
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:29 pm |
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Well, he agreed to let me stay in his house in the UK while he's on business in Nigeria, but apparently I have to send him money first:
Husband-to-be wrote: |
Precious Ho11y you have to send me the value of GBP300.00 (Three hundred
pounds) today so that I can finish up some other this like my sanitary overdue payment in my residence and the Gardener so that no body will disturb my wife when you get there. |
Yes, he's in Nigeria on business and I have to send him �300 so that he can pay the gardener and his "sanitary overdue payment" back here in the UK. Not sure how that works, but whatever...
I tell him that all my stuff is packed up in a removal van, and I'm living on the barest of amenities in my empty and soon-to-be-someone-else's house, so can I puh-lease have the address to give to the removal company?
Husband-to-be wrote: |
TO: Ho11y,
Sir/ Madam, Perhaps he doesn't want to know what sex my character is so it's a nice surprise when he first gets into bed with her on their wedding night.
This is to inform you that I have received your mail and I cant believe that after all explanation you really understand this as an ultimatum, darling I love you and I know you love me too, your write aim working but understand me I just bought a property in west palm beach Miami Florida USA for usd350, 000.00 (Tree Hundred and fifty Thousand dollars) and that left me with a lot to meet up with, I really want to make it up to you. Typical man! He can spend $350,000 on some big boy's toy, but can't afford �300 for the essential gardener and "sanitary" payment!
Please, I want you to go into my house without stress, tell me if you don�t have the whole GBP300.00 (Three hundred pounds) please send GBP200.00 (Two hundred pounds) today so that I will make it up and clear the bills and I will send you the address tomorrow after receiving the payment information�s.
Please my dear assist me so that we help each other I will take you to my property in America this Easter vacation coming April for our wedding.
Waiting for your payment information�s my dear.
Waiting for your urgent response. |
Wedding in Miami? YOU'RE ALL INVITED! |
_________________ PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
<--TS certified.
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irishemigrant
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4933
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:53 pm |
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Don't they have hurricanes in Florida in April?
and hell, �200 to clear up his mess? I'd have paid double to get my ex out of the house and cleaned up myself
I hope he loves you sincerely, deeply, and will provide you with everything
orange blossoms in the invitations? |
_________________ SeniorNet NZ Local Branch ongoing workshops about internet scams
http://www.scamwarners.com/ For when you want to remember why we bait
Goodbye Mike (Paranoid) Friend, confidant, partner. Till we meet again.
Personal Message From The Axeman
<-- Because you have earned them. x8 a few x 13 |
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Bungo Pony
Master Baiter
Joined: 10 Dec 2003
Posts: 186
Location: Peachland
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:01 pm |
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Quote: |
sale some of your stuff and send me the required GBP480.00 |
Perhaps you could get rid of your internet connection and sell your laptop to him to cover the money |
_________________ "we tried The Number you gave to us and it keep on Ringing and After a while it started Ringing ina Suprise way." - N1kk D0ugla5
"I don't want you to be faster than your shoes." - 1brah1m Qvattara |
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Otterfan
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:10 pm |
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I was thinking of asking him if he'd be okay if she sold a night with herself on eBay as that would be sure to raise more than what she'd get for her worldly possessions. |
_________________ PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
<--TS certified.
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jxd
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Posts: 756
Location: Altered by observation
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:45 pm |
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Or perhaps as you sell your things over ebay, you never receive payment. Complain about being scammed. |
_________________ Welcome to 419eater.net "It's Dot Com!" x7
"I was brought up in a motherless babies home"
"I have the Consignment Code here with me which I will send to you and without this Code no Human Being can open that Box"
EmailParser
Ponies taste like cyanide and happiness. |
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Otterfan
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters
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Posted:
Wed Dec 19, 2007 6:44 pm |
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Punctuation is very important, and his latest email made that clear.
Horny lad wrote: |
Sweet Ho11y you can write me your dreams but be a little soft I want to feel you but darling I need your naked picture so that I can past you on my bed aim feeling to lonely, I want to see you every day that I wake and before I sleep. Make sure the picture shows your whole precious body and the main part don�t worry I will delete it after printing and tell your mother, which is my mother in-law to take care of you till I come. I will pay up the cost I know in January I will get some money towards ending. |
Now, is that:
- Make sure the picture shows your whole precious body and the main part. Don't worry . . .
Or:
- Make sure the picture shows your whole precious body, and the main part don't worry . . .
?
And also:
- I will delete it after printing and tell your mother , which is my mother-in-law . . .
Or:
- I will delete it after printing. And tell your mother, which is my mother-in-law . . .
?
Very important.
But as for my character being past on his bed... hmm.
Oh, and this didn't start out as a romance scam, but it drifted into being like one. |
_________________ PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
<--TS certified.
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