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 "12 Days of" contest Time to vote!

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Poll :: Eater's choice for best submission is....

Submission One
3%
 3%  [ 1 ]
Submission Two
23%
 23%  [ 6 ]
Submission Three
30%
 30%  [ 8 ]
Submission Four
23%
 23%  [ 6 ]
Submission Five
19%
 19%  [ 5 ]
Total Votes : 26


Author Message
Ima Baeder
419Eater Admin


Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 18314


PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Laughing Laughing

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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Submissions are closed.

Choosing only five was very difficult. All of the entries I received for witty and fun to read, and I would like to thank everyone who submitted their effort for this contest.

Thank you. Very Happy

So, without further ado, here are the nominees. I have removed the names so that each is judged only on its merits.

SUBMISSION ONE

Quote:
On the first day of Christmas,
my mugu sent to me
A blurry Western Union reciept

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two Goat rental options
And a blurry Western Union reciept

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three bank tracking transfers
Two goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers,
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers
Three bank tracking transfers
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven parcel direct laptops,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight pages of adoption form,
Seven parcel direct laptops,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers ,
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine lads dancing,
Eight pages of adoption form,
Seven parcel direct laptops,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers ,
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten rituals a-leaping,
Nine lads dancing
Eight pages of adoption form,
Seven parcel direct laptops,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers ,
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
11,000 mile safari
Ten rituals a-leaping,
Nine lads dancing,
Eight pages of adoption form,
Seven parcel direct laptops,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers ,
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept .

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A 64 page security declaration form
11,000 mile safari,
Ten rituals a-leaping,
Nine lads dancing,
Eight pages of adoption form,
Seven parcel direct laptops,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four K7 numbers,
Three bank tracking transfers ,
Two Goat rental options,
And a blurry Western Union reciept !

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SUBMISSION TWO

Quote:
On the first day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
a wish to take my money and flee.

On the second day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the third day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the fourth day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the fifth day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the sixth day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
six fake job offers, five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the seventh day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
seven barristers, six fake job offers, five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the eighth day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
eight angry voicemails, seven barristers, six fake job offers, five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the ninth day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
nine 1TV5 complaints, eight angry voicemails, seven barristers, six fake job offers, five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
ten impatient payment requests, nine 1TV5 complaints, eight angry voicemails, seven barristers, six fake job offers, five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
eleven church tattoo pictures, ten impatient payment requests, nine 1TV5 complaints, eight angry voicemails, seven barristers, six fake job offers, five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my Mugu sent to me,
TWELVE VOODOO CURSESoooooooooo, eleven church tattoo pictures, ten impatient payment requests, nine 1TV5 complaints, eight angry voicemails, seven barristers, six fake job offers, five crap lotteries, four security photos, three art scholarship entries, two blurry passports and a wish to take my money and flee.

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !

Last edited by Tsnerd on Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SUBMISSION THREE

Quote:
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
An ASEM with some really tragic news

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Six fake job offers
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Seven begging letters
Six fake job offers
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Eight transfers pending
Seven begging letters
Six fake job offers
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Nine naughty love notes
Eight transfers pending
Seven begging letters
Six fake job offers
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Ten cheques for cashing
Nine naughty love notes
Eight transfers pending
Seven begging letters
Six fake job offers
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Eleven lovers’ websites
Ten cheques for cashing
Nine naughty love notes
Eight transfers pending
Seven begging letters
Six fake job offers
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Twelve urgent emails
Eleven lovers’ websites
Ten cheques for cashing
Nine naughty love notes
Eight transfers pending
Seven begging letters
Six fake job offers
Five crap lotteries
Four fake IDs
Three lawyers’ addys
Two major hitches
and an ASEM with some really tragic news

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SUBMISSION FOUR

Quote:
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A safari to Tamale.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven stuntmen videos,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight mods moderating,
Seven stuntmen videos,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine lads dancing,
Eight mods moderating,
Seven stuntmen videos,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten inheritance claims,
Nine lads dancing,
Eight mods moderating,
Seven stuntmen videos,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven ALL CAPS threats,
Ten inheritance claims,
Nine lads dancing,
Eight mods moderating,
Seven stuntmen videos,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve Tattooed Mugus,
Eleven ALL CAPS threats,
Ten inheritance claims,
Nine lads dancing,
Eight mods moderating,
Seven stuntmen videos,
Six fake job offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four one nine eater,
Three French hens,
Two trunk boxes,
And a safari to Tamale!

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SUBMISSION FIVE

Quote:
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve barristers bargaining,
Eleven bankers banking,
Ten soldiers smuggling,
Nine orphans inheriting,
Eight widows dying,
Seven pastors preaching,
Six Fake Job Offers,
Five crap lotteries,
Four phoney checks,
Three lagos lads,
Two bleating goats,
And a mugu in a plantain tree!

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This one is in a category all itself, and won't be voted on.

This member will also be getting a Premium Membership.

Quote:
Darling sweet Henry Thank you so much for my wonderful Christmas prezzie - the laptop is fantastic, it came as a complete surprise and I am so overwhelmed.How I wish I knew what to do with it. It's only the 13th December, you are soooo organised with your Christmas stuff I'm jealous.

Oh my dearest funnywunny fluffykins, Two fantastic men came today, to instal my computer and to instal the broad bandy thingy. Well, I had a wonderful time showing them where to put it. While the nice computer man was sorting that out,The telephone man said

I can put it in the bedroom, I can put it in the hall
I can put it in the bathroom, I can hang it on the wall
You can have it with a buzz, you can have it with a ring
And if you really want it you can have a ding-a-ling.
I already had a phone so when we got that straight we dealt with the other matters. And then I handled the cute computer man.And he showed me how to do it.

Lovey mannikins, Three parcels came from you today delivered by a lovely UPS man who was quite the picture. I wasn't quite feeling myself today, left it to him so his visit didn't last tooooooo long. Thank you soooooo much for the wonderful desk, lamp and chair you are such a clever bunnykinsy sending me such a lovely soft chair, you must have known that I would be a little sore for some reason today. Touch of yeast probably.

Darling sweetness, I got Four of the strangest emails today, all of them offering me a million pounds. Seems I have four relatives who all died in car crashes down some long sounding road somewhere abroad, isn't it an amazing coincidence that they all left me so much money, I am so excited that I am making travel arrangements to visit one or two lawyers who are being so sweet and compassionate that they are going to do all sorts for me.Henry why don't you answer my letters ?

Dear yummy man Henry you will not believe this. More emails. I have won 5 toletries. Oh crap lotteries, sorry for the spelling typo, haven't worked out where the rubber is yet.
I have been in touch with the estate agents and they are going to sell my house for me because it looks like I will be able to buy a big new one. I am soooo thrilled and actually I dribbled a little in sheer exhilaration which didn't help the soreness one bit. Need some antibiotics I suppose.These silly infections are such a pain and so inconvenient.

Guess what My Guy, I may be moving abroad, so my big new house will have to wait. I just love these emails, they just keep on coming. Today I got offers of jobs all over. Six today, no less. Where is a girl like me meant to start when I am sooo much in demand. I am going to consider them one at a time and this means that I will have to go travelling just a teensy weensy bit more after I have visited at least one of my new lawyers, one of whom is a real big noise in Lagos apparently.
- I can use the money from one of the lotteries, isn't this just cool.I gotta send them some money for the silly paperwork first though, guess
I'll have to use some of my inheritance money. I wonder just how big my new lawyer is. Hmmmm.

Oh Henry, Whatever can I do ? More emails and it seems that Seven Russian ladies are after me now. They really need love and care and attention and as you know, I am not that way inclined. Yet. But I thought to myself that if I sent them the money to come here, I can put them all in one of my new houses (have to make sure there are seven spare
bathrooms for the ladies, we do love our own small private parts of the house) and then get the telephone man and all his friends,
maybe even the UPS guy has one or two buddies, to come over and party. I may be quite good at this matchmaking. I need to see the doctor this afternoon, get some stuff for this silly itching. Wouldn't want that to interfere when you come a-visiting.

Henry Henry Henry I got Eight, yes eight cheques in the post today, I am rich at last. I cannot begin to tell you how much they all add up to. Well, not until I get a new calculator but there's lots of 00000s - guess I always knew I was destined for bigger and better things and you know how much I love big things. Gonna get to the bank today to pop them into my account - now I don't even have to use the lottery money, the inheritances came through. Wait, there were only 4. Oh Nuts, who cares.
Once it's banked, it's mine, let 'em try to get it back. Teee Heee. The Doc said I need a few tests. told him I'd book myself in - well I will as soon as I get a minute away from all this high financy thingy stuff.

My oh My. Henry - The Bank Manager was ALL OVER ME !! He seemed a bit slow on the uptake at first, said it was unusual to bank so much money in one day. Told him to get used to the idea, plenty more where that came from. He took me into his private office, really nice red carpet in there, we did the business and he told me to wait four days
before cashing any cheques. No prob, I have plenty of stuff to sort out, my mailbox was jampacked today with all sorts of mail, including Nine sweet photographs, one framed, from my new lawyers (nine ? I thought I only had four) but they all seem such a nice lot that I may ship some of them in for a real swinging party when my Russian girlies come
over, they can take turns with the telephone man, the UPS fellow and his buddies and I mustn't forget the cute computer man.

Wooo Hooo Henry, I drew Ten Gs today for starters - just look where my little laptop has got me so far and it's all down to you my poochie poochest sweetie. I am having such a great time, making all these plans, it's such a shame that I don't feel too well today. This yeast is getting worse and now I seem to have some type of burns on my knees
and elbows. I simply cannot imagine what I have done and today I noticed that my monthly has come and gone without me noticing. Actually I don't think it happened but I have been soooo busy getting my life in order that I plain forgot to check the dates. Must be this infection. Wish it didn't itch so much, at least I can use the same ointment
on my elbows and knees. Oh yes, I know !! It's got to be all the excitement that has put my system in such a tizzy, I'm so stupid for not thinking straight.You still don't reply to me Henry. Christmas Eve tomorrow and I need to know the plans. I had such a wonderful time spending my money, I went back for oodles more cash the same day,
saw a different Bank manager 'cos the other one was attending a clinic for something or other and he welcomed me in just the same manner as the first one. Aren't they nice in that bank. He had a blue carpet.

I'm not feeling well today, snookums, so sick this morning, this bug is getting to me. On Christmas Eve as well. Hope it won't last too long, busy day tomorrow. Are you away -
I'd hate to think you are avoiding me, was it something I said ? The strangest thing happened today. You remember that nice courier UPS man who brought my three presents from you,
well the darndest thing, he brought eleven geese a-laying this morning. I told him he must have the wrong address but he insisted that this was totally the right thing to do at this point, whatever did he mean ? What am I supposed to do with 11 geese laying eggs all over my carpets and furniture and me trying to get the place ready for my visitors ?
I could understand 6 geese a-laying, maybe someone got the song wrong, and at least 11 geese are better than 11 pipers piping but the UPS man didn't seem to understand what the hell I was talking about, said he lost the label and paperwork but remembered something about Eezie-Lay which is why he thought of me. I am still trying to
figure that one out and wondering where the five gold rings went. At least we don't need turtledoves, do we, my little chicadee cherub. Why don't you write ? I am bored this evening and I am going to search the web for a few bits and BOBS.

Christmas Day. Oh my, what a state my place is in. Feathers all over and the geese have really made themselves at home. I see a few nests here and there, should have put all the packing stuff away, clean forgot the housework this week. Having a bite to eat then going online again to see if I can find that nice Bob again. This cyber stuff is way out, isn't it.

HENRY HENRY I won the EURO LOTTERY ONLINE last night !!! Really !! Truly !!! 12 million !! I got all the numbers and the other ones in little stars as well and now -
Oh My - I don't know what to say I am quite overcome. How can I think straight with a 12 course dinner to prepare and cook today for 12 people, including - well, I won't go through them all again but BOB couldn't come. I have plenty to do, better clear up this place. Just found a new nest with 12 eggs in it, darndest things these geese, I am getting quite fond of them, have to get them a mate, keep up the tradition. Well, more news. My elbows and knees and wet lettuce (Hey no yeast !) have settled down now, my monthly visitor decided to surprise me on today of all days but better late than never. I am going to have such a lovely day today,everything is going just hunky dory and I am looking forward to a wonderful New Year.
As my telephone man said, Hey lolly lolly Hey lolly lolly get it any way you can and I sure did. Please write.

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 5:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

There you go.

Voting ends December 24th.

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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lotta
Baiting Guru


Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 13613
Location: 2 Speckled Cct Springfield Lakes QLD 4300


PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Gosh it's a tough choice as they are all excellent!!!!

I want to vote for two of them. Sad

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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Only 15 votes?

C'mon, folks. Very Happy

_________________

Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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ParaNoid
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Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 5123
Location: Looking for Steward.


PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I tried to vote two times... but it wouldn't let me. Shocked

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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 9:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Voting will end later today.

_________________

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Mortar x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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