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 It'd be funny if it happened to someone else...

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This did happen to someone else so it is funny:

Many years ago I was sharing a house with a number of people including a gay guy (whose boyfriend would often visit) - and a cat.

As I heard it (I was away that day and missed it), my housemate and his boyfriend were asleep together one morning with the cat curled up on the bedcovers. It seems that the cat took an interest in something sticking out of the sheets - and decided to do a taste test... And if you guessed that she took an experimental nip on the poor guy's penis, you are correct.

Apparently everyone else in the house at first thought that murder was being done.

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Last edited by Yastreb on Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Murry Guru
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Joined: 11 May 2007
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 12:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

While we are all sharing stories of our premarried days.

Before I married my wife she lived at my place (with mum and dad), when she moved in my mum laid down the law, you may sleep in the same bedroom but you must not sleep in the same bed, one of you will need to sleep on the matress on the floor and no hanky panky in my house.

Of course I respect my mother's decision so every night I would set up the mattress on the floor and every night we would be huddled up in the same bed.

I will keep detail to a minimum here for the sake of the youngens Wink One night we were huddled up, I had a bad cough that night and coughed loudly on a few occasions.

While deeply engaged in huddling my mum came in with one of her home made cough remedies, lemon juice, honey and scotch whisky. she insisted I finish it while she was there to take the glass.

While ensuring the blankets remained on (perhaps one of my buttons was undone) I gulped the vile concoction and handed back the glass.

She walked out, glass in hand and kindly closed the door on the way out,

I slept on the mattress on the floor that night Wink

That was over 18 years ago and I have not mentioned it to my mother but I often wonder what she actually seen that night.

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Doctor X
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You should have just told him you came to her cup board to get some sugar. . . .

--J.D.

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windypops
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Joined: 25 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

gaz_c_85 wrote:
We're both in our 20's hahaha! Laughing


Makes no difference Gaz. The saying goes:

"Your son's your son till he takes a wife, your daughters your daughter for the rest of your life".

You need to practice your ninja skillz some. Wink

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michael bolton
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My mother-in-law, back in the days before my wife and I were married, had a different take entirely. She was one of those free-sex-hippies, and she was very open about the topic. Her main problem was that she was divorced and not dating at the time. So she would say things like, "If you guys want to go get it on, just try to keep the noise down. I'm getting tired of all these cold showers."
So I used to lay it on thick and say things such as, "I'm trying to quit smoking. So far I'm doing good, and I only smoke after sex. So I'm down to a half a pack a day."

And even after we were married, it became a family joke.
"Are you going to film the babies birth?"
"No, we filmed the conception, so that's probably good enough."

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419Gamer
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hiding in the cupboard? That wasn't a good idea. Do what windypops said and practice some ninja skillz.

You should have done a split jump so that he passed underneath you unawares. You could then have optionally dropped on him to knock him out.

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Rorschach
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

When I was 18 my mother came home unexpectedly and opened my bedroom door. The duvet was on the floor and a girl was - erm - keeping my ears warm with her thighs. Embarassed Embarassed

I didn't come back home again for about a week after that.

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Gaz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Im enjoying this thread... Laughing

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ send the link to your gfs Dad...I am sure he will appreciate it Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Connie L. Gus
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This is so funny. I remember when my date from the night before opened my dorm room door for my Mom at 7AM on Sunday. It really was not funny at all then but I smile now. The date said they were returning my typewriter but lying never goes well with Moms.

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Gnasher
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My (then) teenage cousin went home from school early one day to find her father 'in flagrante' with his boyfriend Shocked The mother/wife found out and seemed OK with it so all three of them, husband/wife/boyfriend went on holiday together to some sleazy resort in Queensland. Jerry Springer eat your heart out.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 10:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The parents of an ex-boyfriend were very conservative and straight laced. Once I stopped by their house on a Sunday morning before the whole family were all leaving on a vacation trip. As I was getting ready to leave my cell phone rang and I started to dig around in my purse to find it. In the process a lot of stuff in my purse fell out onto the floor including a pair of panties. I tried to casually pick everything up and act like nothing unusual had happened. He and I went out the evening before and were out rather late. The look on his mother's face told me she saw them and thought the worse. I got the evil stink eye every time after that since her son was dating a woman of loose morals and bad behavior. Of course, her son was an angel so I was corrupting him. At the time I lived in an apartment without laundry facilities so I had to drive to a laundromat. I did laundry the previous day and the panties fell out of the laundry basket while it was in my car. I found them that morning on the way to their house and put them in my purse without thinking much about it. Really. Honest. Embarassed

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Nelsonsbattle
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ahhhh ... that brings back many memories .

Also brings to mind a joke as well.

A man and a woman were making love one afternoon. Suddenly she jumped up and exclaimed, "My husband's home. Stand in the corner."

She covered the man's naked body with baby oil then dusted talcum powder all over him. "Don't move'" she said.

The husband came into the bedroom and said, "What's that?"

"It's a statue," she replied, "The Smiths have one and I wanted one too."

So the evening goes on, the husband and wife eventually go to bed and all that time the lover stands completely still in the corner. Later that night the husband gets up and goes out of the bedroom, he returns with a glass of milk and a sandwich which he gives to the lover/naked statue.

"Here," he says, "I stood for three days in the corner at the Smiths and no-one gave me anything."

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