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 Lad won't complete Homeland Security form - amusing excuse

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veruca41
papparazzi


Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Posts: 100
Location: The deep South


PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just got this after sending my barrister a Homeland Security form (courtesy of Nurse Nasty) to complete:

However,we have seen the security form and wish to let you know that filling the form by our chambers is contrary to the provision made in our constitution under section 2(5) sub-section 4 and 5 of the 1999 constitution as ammended in 2006/7 act which states that on no condition shall a foriegn firm whatsoever transact or sign any legal binding documents without proper origin as contained in the memorandum of understanding copies and it is our legal right to send you whatever form/forms we wish to ensure the hitch free transfer of the said fund into your nominated bank account after the next of kin regularisation documents have been put in place authenticating the claim on your behalf thereby recognising you as the bonafide beneficicray to the deceased funds and related properties as decleared.

Wonder where they copied that from?

I think he deserves a slap; I've been way too lenient. Any suggestions? Would anyone male like to give him a call (around 3 am his time would be nice)?
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OxygenDeprived
Baiting Guru


Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 4138
Location: Crushing Lad's spirits, one at a time...


PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I would tell him that Homeland Security requires the paperwork before any money can be sent overseas to ensure it doesn't go to fund terrorism under the Patriot Act section 127.0.0.1 as amended in February of 2006. No papers signed = no money for him. His choice. I've found when you stand your ground they usually do as told and fill it in.

EDIT: I've only called a lad a couple of times, but if you want, I'll call him tonight for you. I could use the practice. Just PM me any info you want me to cover.

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luckey
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Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 5629
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 4:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Pfft. Homeland Security trumps any other country's constitution. Don't they watch the news?

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dr stephen williams
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Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 15435
Location: DSW's Tattoo Parlour


PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 4:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'd tell him "so sorry, I would love to help, but there is absolutely no way around this for me as I risk imrpisonment at Guantanammmoo for up to 20 years for funding terrorism if I get caught. Good luck with your business" and wait see if he can't find a way to fill in the papers.... don't slap him, just apologize... he'll fill in all the forms...

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veruca41
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Joined: 27 Jun 2007
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Location: The deep South


PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 7:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Crap! Rolling Eyes

After politely explaining that the HS form was NOT negotiable, and suggesting a junior member of the barrister's chambers complete it, I get this:


I am sorry no bank in our own part of the world would accept such because I am quite sure that no one will put you or your firm into trouble so I wonder why you should be talking about going to jail instead of us finding a solution to the already existing problem at hand.

I wil have to refffer you to your partner to acertain the truth of the matter because it our legal right for you to adhere strictly to instruc tion and nbot to advise us the other way round.

I am sorry you have to act according to the rules we have mapped out.


I'm considering a 3:00 am phone call, and have asked for a telephone number. Anyone got a better idea? I'm not covetous of my ongoing baits, so if anyone wants to join in, just let me know. I'm putting all the correspondence into a Word doc for easy reading.

(OxygenDeprived, I'll let you know all the bait details via PM if a call looks promising - TIA for the offer)
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Tigbitties
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Joined: 15 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You could go for the dollar chop. Theres nothing more infuriating for a lad than thinking another lad is about to cash in on his efforts.

Send him something like this which also mentions a K7 number. That way you could (if youre really lucky) get a lad on lad audio death threat which you could then post here as a nice trophy.

Quote:
I have been contacted by Mr Usman from your delivery company and he said he will fill out the form and send it back to me and I can then send the payment directly to him. This will speed up the whole process.

Please dont bother filling out the form now because Mr Usman is taking care of everything. If you need to speak to him, this is his phone number which is in the USA

+1 xxxx (your K7 number)

If he doesnt answer just leave him a voice message on the answer phone. He picks up his messages and deals with them straight away.

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OxygenDeprived
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

veruca41 wrote:
I wil have to refffer you to your partner to acertain the truth of the matter because it our legal right for you to adhere strictly to instruc tion and nbot to advise us the other way round.


Not surprised that he's balking at the forms, heck, I hate filling forms too. But he's also trying to say that he's in charge. I'd say it's time to go back to the initial lad and tell him to find a new banker, one that is willing to comply with US law by filling out the form. You are ready to pay, but not willing to risk jail time for not following US overseas payment regulations.

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dr stephen williams
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oxygen Deprived has a very good point! If the lads Banker is trying to entice you to break the law, then maybe he needs a different banker!

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veruca41
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Joined: 27 Jun 2007
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Location: The deep South


PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for the tips!
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MattNW
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Joined: 21 Nov 2005
Posts: 264


PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'd tell him to explain that when they arrest him and haul him off to some foreign country for interrogation (torture) as a terrorist. Then ask him if he's important enough that his country would do anything about it.

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