Letter to the dead

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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 2:33 pm

I had a lad on the hook calling himself B3n Fr4nk. I baited him for a bit with my 'main' character, Jac0b D4n1els (call me J4ck). Things started getting a little intense, so, unfortunately, J4ck had to die. His best friend and roommate, T0m C0ll1ns, took over, and basically restarted the bait. Well, of course, T0m was notoriously unhelpful and stalled the lad for a good couple months, until recently J4ck received a letter in his email box...the lad wrote to a dead man to tell him how unhelpful the best friend was being. The letter follows:

MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PLICE SINCE AFTER YOUR DEATH YOUR FIREND TOM DID NOT WANT TO HAVE THIS YOUR CHEQUE BUT I TOLD HIM VERYTHING ABOUT THE CHEQUE AND ALSO TOLD HIM THAT I WANT TO SEND THE CHEQUE TO HIM SO THAT HE WILL USE THE MONEY FOR THE BERIAL AGRAGEMENT AND ALSO FOR THE CHRITY HOME SINCE THE CHEQUE CANNOT BE CASH IN THIS CONUTRY I WOOD HAVE CASH THE CHEQUE BUT THE CHEQUE IS INTERNATIONAL BANK DRAFT,

I JUST LETING YOU TO BE AWARE THAT I HAVE TRY MY POSSIBLE BEST TO SEE THAT THIS CHEQUE IS CASH BY YOUR FIREND TOM AS HE TOLD ME THAT YOU TOLD HER TO HELP HIM CASH THE MONEY BEFORE YOUR DEATH,

AND NOW I HAVE MADE SOME CONTACT OVER THERE TO CASH THIS CHEQUE BEFORE THE CHEQUE EXPRIE, SINCE TOM DID NOT WANT TO CASH THE CHEQUE I JUST WANT YOU TO BE AWARE BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO HOT A DEATH MAN THAT IS WHY I TRY TO SEND THE CHEQUE TO TOM,

THINK YOU FOR YOU UNSDERSTAND, GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL,

YOUR IN CHRIST,

,

Now, up until this letter to a dead man, Mr. B3n Fr4nk never introduced himself as a pastor. Perhaps if he had, T0m would have been more helpful...nah. Doubt it.

Mod Note: Masking reduced to just the names. [BB]

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 2:44 pm

What a nutter. There's one born every minute. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 3:49 pm

Maybe the dead shall rise and email him on Halloween? Man,the timing couldn't be more perfect. Only question is, vampire or zombie?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

That is absolutely hilarious!!!
Laughing

We all know that dead bodies can't send email though. (see my sig line) Wink

They CAN certainly haunt people. (and ride swings?)
I agree with OD, the timing for day of the dead/halloween/all souls day is perfect!!

Who had the site that sent emails from satan to our lads? Holy Ghost Fiiire!!! Laughing

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:59 pm

OxygenDeprived wrote:

Maybe the dead shall rise and email him on Halloween? Man,the timing couldn't be more perfect. Only question is, vampire or zombie?

Zombie sounds like fun. You could play off one of those video games, or maybe a movie, and make it seem like it's going to turn the lad himself into a zombie. Can't hurt to have the lad too scared... At least in the case of a vampire, if the lad caught it, he'd have some powers, but he'd be completely miserable as a zombie, at least I thing he would.

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 6:57 pm

Perhaps the spirit of J4cob D4niels is now trapped in the body of another person due to a mishap at the funeral or embalming. Having a new character possessed with the spirit of two people creates all kinds of interesting possibilities to mess with the lad.

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:31 pm

PM me the lads email and I will arrange for Satan to email him on Jack's behalf if you want.
Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:18 am

Maybe an interpol agent should ask questions regarding his relationship with the deceased...

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Sep 2004 Posts: 28

Well if Worcestershire sauce is used as an embalming fluid, it does cause the deceased to rise from his grave....

First char rises and attacks the second.... second one dies and becomes zombie.... both come for the lad.

Do they have south park in Nigeria?? Naaa Prolly not.

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:19 am

JDanielsTN wrote:

... J4ck received a letter in his email box...the lad wrote to a dead man ...

Ahh, you could have great fun with an automatic 'out of the office' response:

Quote:

Sorry I can't receive your email just now. I'm smoldering in my grave.

I'll get back to you as soon as possible after the Day of Judgement and the Ressurection of the Flesh.

Have a nice day.

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:26 am

Funniest. Mugu. Email. Ever..

Thanks for sharing! I needed the laugh.

I think someone possessing the spirit of the dead man needs to be emailing that mugu and showing off some haunted split personality just in time for Halloween. They may not practice/celebrate Halloween but I'm guessing that there would have been enough old line Catholics there that they might have heard some of the All Hallows Eve tales of the dead.

419Eater is my life Joined: 21 Nov 2005 Posts: 264

Well he is a Pastor. Laughing

Why do I never get the stupid lads? Sad

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:27 am

Well, I got one asking me if I was dead or not. In part:

Quote:

The said Mr. P3t3r W00 is claiming to us that you are dead and he will like to change all your Informations regarding your funds as the bonafide beneficiary.This development is coming now that the Ministry want to offset all the out-standing payments to all our legal foreign beneficiaries arround the world, and your payment file was affected.

As you may known, the total amount in your favour is a total sum of $30Million Dollars. We need to confirm from you if it's really true that you are dead and by virtue of claim, Did sign any Deed of Agreement in favor of Mr. P3t3r W00, thereby making him the current beneficiary of your total inheritance with the following account details:

My reply was:

Quote:

I regret to inform you that I passed away three years ago of pneumonia, complicated by aggravated elephantitis. My funeral was a major event in the social calendar of the year, and was extensively reported in Vogue and Marie Claire. I am surprised you missed it.

However, if the 30 million is still available, I would be interested in receiving it, having recently reincarnated as a middle-aged businessman. I signed no agreement with Mr. W00, and indeed, never knew him in this life or any of my previous lives.

Ask a silly question...

PS the thread went dead after this.

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:09 pm

Well, I've just contacted the lad with my second character; I made him wait a bit, and now it seems that my second character was arrested in conjunction with the death of my first. But I've dangled a rather juicy bit before my lad - because of the Wrongful Arrest, Mr. C0ll1ns has recieved a $15,000 settlement from the local police department in exchange for agreeing not to press a wrongful arrest lawsuit. This lad is pressing hard for me to send money; I've tried the 1TV5 route, and he just wouldn't have it. EVery time I insisted he needed to fill it out, I got a basic 'Send the money now' response. Suggestions?

I do know that I got at least a little under his skin, though, because one of the 1tv5 session that he logged into, under the first question "What is your name', he writes "F*** you". Haha.

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:54 pm

someoneorothers bank handles this sort of transaction so well

and you get the bonus point of getting a bank account out of the lad as well

Which alan is so good at closing

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 4:32 pm

Quote:

AND NOW I HAVE MADE SOME CONTACT OVER THERE TO CASH THIS CHEQUE

Is he referring to the "afterlife" as "over there"? Laughing

As far as the bait is concerned, maybe T0m went to a medium, and she established contact with [email protected] could be a nice conversation............the medium channels J@ck thru his email...... Laughing