$afari, $imba $tyle!

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Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:29 am

REPRINTED FROM OTHER SITE:

This is a bait that I was generously allowed to step into by Simba, a Jo$eph in Ghana who is painting pictures.

#11 [url] [-]

Quote:

Posts: 123
09/11/07 15:52:04
Rogue Gynaecologist
Well, the bait is on:

First, I thanked Jo$ef for the rough draft. I have not seen the original, but Simba tells me it's pretty good. He didn't know this was a rough draft. I told him wanted the finished draft next, with purple and white zebra stripes. He didn't like that. I have "Me1anie" as my go between. His deal is with her, and I buy from her.

I have him now wanting to get paid, but have told him he has to go therough Me1anie. He writes and grovels, he is registered artist, he doesn't like middleman,, whine grovel....

He whiningly sends me this:

>On 9/11/07, joseph XXXX wrote:
> >
> > hello Robin
> > mr, am very serious about the arts rough draft, i had made many arts for
>you
> > , but you just dont release that am doing sample, i made the first one
> > sample, you change the text, when am woking on this one too you change
>the
> > text, i think you are not being serious with me .. and also i want you
>to
> > know that am doing the arts for you not Melanie, i try to chat with her
> > yesterday but she never mind me, so what i want to tell you is that i
>dont
> > do business with middle man, i want you to pay me direct when the arts
>is
> > done, and i will show you sample if you are cool , i will send you the
>real
> > copy...am a registered artist and i business with the big companies, so
>you
> > know what if you cant deal with me direect , i think you are trying to
>do
> > business in the darkness...i will love for you to call me so that we
>could
> > speak man to man...i hate doing business with second man...ok
> > about the coming to kenya, its ok , you let me know when is the best
>time
> > and i will come ok..as you said early december is ok with me too
> > my phone number 00233 242 655 321..
> > i want to hear from you soon ok...
> > joseph.

SO, I send him this:

From: XXXXXX
>To: "joseph XXXXX
>Subject: Re: Thank you
>Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2007 11:11:49 -0600
- Hide quoted text -
>
>Hello Joseph,
>
>Look. Let me explain it to you: I am a very busy man. I have 48
>employees, directly, and another 100 people who work part time. Last
>year I had half that number. I have 8 camps set up, and hope to have
>four more next year. I have clients who want their food a certain way
>who don't know a hyena from a cocker spaniel. I have trucks that break
>down, mechanics that overcharge me, security and supplies to arrange.
>I am off in the bush for weeks at a time with very slow satellite
>modem, which costs me a LOT of money to use. When I am angry or
>frustrated (often), I have to smile and be a good host to wankers from
>Pittburgh who think that I should be enthralled about their job
>selling car insurance, and laugh at their stupid jokes because they
>are spending USD12000 on a 6 day safari.
>
>I have to pay bribes to the government to remain open, and hire
>security guards to protect my clients from poachers. I had an employee
>eaten by a lion last week, and I have had to help his family,
>compensating them USD25,000 for their drunken son, (who was a very
>nice young man, but drunk all the time, and utterly worthless at his
>job). I have no phone out here, the phone system in this country is as
>fucked up as anywhere in the world (well, Eritrea is a bit worse), and
>this satellite email is going to cost me about USD12 to send, just to
>reply to your asking for... I don't know what it is you want, anyway.
>
>I hire a company who hires the security guards. I contract to a
>mechanic shop who hires the mechanics. I have a middle man who buys
>the food for our kitchen, and hire a chief chef to hire staff to
>prepare food for our clients. I pay someone to pay the government
>officials who give us our licenses. And, okay, pay attention here: I
>have asked Melanie to help me with an artist. You are the artist. She
>will get paid, too, when this deal is done, and not a penny until
>then. I don't pay in advance of finished work because I have been
>robbed too many times.
>
>So, listen closely: I am not able to deal directly with you as I am
>too busy. There is no darkness, only a lack of time and energy on my
>part. I simply am too busy. We are a rapidly growing business. If you
>want to work with us, for now, you must do so through Melanie, as you
>have already done. When you arrive in Kenya, you will be working for
>us directly. This art deal is Melanies business.
>
>I know Melanie thinks highly of you. I don't know you well enough to
>have an opinion. Your art work was nicely done, Joseph. I would ask
>that you please continue your work, and let me continue doing mine.
>She likes dealing with you and has plenty of time to do so. I do not
>have time.
>
>I look forward to seeing the finished work. If you don't want to
>finish the work, let me know, and I will look for a local artist. I am
>working with you because Melanie asked me to.
>
>Anyway, Melanie might be coming to Kenya in October or November for a
>month. if so, maybe we could have you come over during that time to do
>your work instead of December. I know she would like to see you.
>
>When you work with us in Kenya, we pay USD300 a day for contract work
>with an additional bonus of USD200 at the end of any week when we work
>on Sunday. You sleep in the same type of tents we all do. I expect
>there will be two weeks worth of work, but it could stretch on for
>another two weeks if we get any of these new camps I have applied for
>(the papers are in the office now, let's all cross our fingers). Could
>you afford spending a month here with us? If this works for you, let
>me know.
>
>If you understand me, good. Get back to your work, and let me focus on
>my work. If you do not understand what I am saying, then, please, let
>me know, and I will find a local artist. That might be easiest for all
>of us, anyway.
>
>Contact me when you have a draft. Send me a picture.
>
>Robin
>
>
>
> >

And he just wrote back, looks like he's flying Ghana to kenya, on a Sim/ba Safari!
[list=]

More to come![/list]

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:30 am

Simba, that last email from our lad is priceless, the car, etc... I won't post it because it was to you, but... man!

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:35 am

So next I get

Quote:

>On 9/11/07, jo$ephwrote:
> > hello Robin
> > you had made things clear now to me, and i will do all my best and send
>you
> > the art rough draft before thursday ok...i do want to work with you and
>i
> > will love to visit kenya to meet you and see the safari there too...and
>i
> > will love to meet Melanie...i will do the work for you and talk more
>with
> > Melanie ok..i will love to come to kenya anytime...just that i got one
> > assistant i work with and i will love to come to the kenya with...i hope
> > that would not be a problem...
> > i will get to you when am done with the arts ok...
> > thank for giving me the offers ...
> > joseph

to which I reply:

Quote:

>From: "Doc>
>To: "jos$eph
>Subject: Re: Thank you
>Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2007 21:44:00 -0600
>
>Joseph,
>
>Great. I look forward to seeing the work. Please keep Melanie informed
>about it. She is going to take care of the art work. She has lots of
>ideas, and we have hired her as autistic director, so go with what
>ever she says.
>
>Regarding the work here in Kenya: your assistant is welcome to come,
>but we can only pay him USD100 a day, and no bonuses. He is your
>apprentice. Sorry. We are ploughing all of our money back into the
>business. You both get paid for your work at the end of the contract,
>not a penny before. We cover food and lodging, and will remunerate you
>for all of your travel expenses to Kenya when we pick you up in
>Nairobi. Be sure to KEEP ALL your receipts for any food, hotels,
>transportation costs and airfare.
>
>Just so you know, it looks like we will definitely get at least two of
>those camps, and we will know in a week about the other two. We should
>get them too, though we may have to wait unti January to start working
>on them.
>
>It also looks like we will have the additional Land Rovers in late
>October or early November. So this looks like a month of work. If we
>get all four of the camps we have applied for, we may ask you to
>extend your contract for another two to four weeks. If we need you,
>can you spend 6-8 weeks working with us?
>
>Be sure to bring your paint brushes for any detailed work. We will get
>what other things we need before we leave Nairobi. If I can't come in
>to pick you and Melanie up, we will send someone in to do a run on
>supplies, and you can catch a ride back out to the camps with her.
>
>Please send me a picture of the artwork as soon as possible.
>
>My satellite link has been dodgy the last few days, so if it gets all
>pear shaped, you know what the problem is.
>
>As I said, please keep Melanie informed about the artwork. She is your
>contact for that.
>
>See you in a few weeks.
>
>Robin
>
>

> >

Now, $imba has the emails he sent to Mel@nie, which are very funny....
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