Hitman Thread: Feel free to mass-bait our assassins!

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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:59 am

Yes, thanks to the surplus forum at Eliza's campground, C0leman here is another hitman just begging for abuse. (Why are the hitman mugus so friggin dumb?) He's a little smarter than T0ny and not as vulgar, but much easier to get off-script. I'm still not sure what a "man seer" is, but I'm sure it's pretty scary. His intro letter said something about "now what do you think of that", so who can resist? Check out our latest round (most recent at the top)...

Quote:

Hey Lemmy ,

As I stated in my mail, Mr Coleman Drang, the only man seer from london living in usa. (yes Coleman, you said that.)
you said in your mail that out of the last 5 guys who have tried to kill me, only one has ever been successful. Hoo that is good we like that kind of challenge action. Question

I was been paid to kill you, so only the money paid is still at stake USD$50,000.= waiting for the balance $50,000= after the completion of the assignment to kill you. rest $50,000.= will be paid to us.
If you pay this money USD$100,000.= my men will stay clear from you and I give you the picture and details of the payee. (The man who want us to kill you).
If you know what is good for you then reply quickly.
Good Luck
Coleman Drang.

-----Original Message-----
From:
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, Sep 12 5:09 PM
Subject: Re: Okay We Gonna F**k You Out Soon

Hey pal, you asked me if I had anything to say, so I did. What the hell is f**k me out mean? I've already had sex today, so no thanks if that's what you are offering. Now let's talk about the guy who hired you. How much did he pay you to take me out? My life is worth a lot of money to some people.

You need to be very careful. Out of the last 5 guys who have tried to kill me, only one has ever been successful. I am a lot more dangerous than the average guy, so don't try anything stupid. And spare me the threats. Now what do you need?

Lemmy

On 9/12/07, [email protected] wrote:
Hey Lemmy.

Okay watch out till when my men get through with you,
I advice for your on good reply quickly as my men eyes are on you any where you go.
If you fail, then Mission will be accomplished.
Good luck.
Coleman Drang.
this is my responding mail: [email protected] OR [email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From:
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, Sep 12 11:22 AM
Subject: Your letter

Dear Coleman;

Hell yes I have something to say about this. The guy who hired you is an idiot who screws goats.

Regards,
Lemmy

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:02 am

Thanks Obi. Gotta love those hitmen.

There was the dennis rodman hitman too over on yuku. I don't have his original email but here's the address:

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:44 am

I never had a hit man before. I wrote Dennis, but he let me down. I need to find me a hitman...

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:47 am

I got a good response from Dennis.

I originally sent this:

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I received an email from you that you have been hired
to kill me. I don't understand this, what do you need
me to do in order to stop this from happening!!!

I have a family to think about.

Then I got this reply:

Quote:

hay ronald,
listen and listen good,if you think we are joking you are making a great mistake,
right now my men are keeping eye on every step you take,
im the only person to rescue you from this trap,
so get back to me if you wanna save your life.

good luck

They're really fun actually, hitman lads, and you can get bank accounts out of them pretty easily.

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:27 am

I messed with dennis too, but he wouldn't play along with me... kind of like old Tony but not as funny. I'll get him yet.

Tony, on the other hand, has apparently moved into the protection business. He's now offering to whack his original character for, you guessed it, a WUXfer! I've been trying to convince him that I just need the information, since the original "killer" is a total failure. I'll give these guys credit for one thing - they are persistent. Confused

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:29 am

Wow I thought we had lost Tony when his email address got shut down. If you're still in contact I'd love to reprise my old friendship with him.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Josh, Ask him if his men are also watching every breath you take, every rule you break, every move you make, etc.

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:09 am

Dennis sent me this today:

Quote:

Hello xxxxx,i didn't ask you to send 10000 each to those names i mailed you,i said split 10000 dollars to the three names that is you will send 3750 dollars to RICH4RD AND3RSON and another 3750 dollars to AN4BEL T4YLOR and lastly OKR1KPA D1EN3 KINGSL3Y don't forget the last name is that of africa motherless babies home manager so send it to me,remember is nigeria(place).Act fast like i said you just have limited time.

best regards.

murderer.

note:i wanna see the MTCN numbers by tomorrow is that clear.
goodluck

What a funny man.

Unfortunately I snail mailed the money to the above people... he never explained WU to me.

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:28 am

I don't have time to play with hitmen :

Quote:

-----Original Message-----
From: Bu88 F1Avel <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, Sep 13 4:41 AM
Subject: Re : So what do you think of that?

Oh piss off and die!

so what do you think of that?

I got back :

Quote:

Hey, Bu88 ,

Iif you think you can toy with my men, watch out their eyes are on you any where you go, till when you enter the target to sniff you off.

If you know what is good for you then reply quickly.
Good Luck
Coleman Drang.

His men are going to do what!!!!

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:04 pm

These guys might just be real assassins after all - their messages are just killing me. Very Happy

Here is T0ny 3rik's new character: [email protected] . I'm not entirely sure it's him, but there are a couple of similarities. Whoever it is, he's not so reliant on script this time and there's less profanity. The reason I might doubt it's T0ny is the apparent lack of "gat" in his text. Still, an idiot is an idiot so I'll bait him.

As for C0lem4n, he's now switched sides and will kill his original employer for a measly $200,000. We're still negotiating on the down payment terms, but he's agreed to provide proof that the deed is done. He hasn't even mentioned WU yet, I guess he wants to "strick" a deal first.

Elite Baiter Joined: 02 Jul 2006 Posts: 1702

Dennis was going to chop off my head and make me "screen"

I still dont know if you can scream with no head, or he means he will make me a new monitor.

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:11 am

Yeah I got a "Best Regards, Murderer" as well..... Shocked

I replied with "Best Regards, Victim". Hopefully he won't click.

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:25 pm

Oh, poor you, are you going to be killed by Mr Coleman Drang ?
So am I.
He and his men are determined to "SNIFF ME OUT" and the "COUPS" can't save me.
He's quite funny.
Just the name makes me laugh.

If anyone figures out what MAN SEER is- let me know cause I have no clue????

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 3:02 pm

I've asked him a few times what a man-seer is, but he seems to be ignoring the question. Maybe I'll withhold payment until I receive an explanation. He can sniff me off if he doesn't like it. Confused

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:33 pm

Wow Dennis isn't a very nice guy at all:

dennis wrote:

The Step one is for you send 5,000$ to this name in canada with this name terry dennis and mail me the MTCN number and make sure you send it through western union.

Instruction number 1.
Bye

I wrote:

How do I send the money to him?

dennis wrote:

I said through western union money transfer,i gave you name to send the money to and i told the the MTCN number should be mailed to me.
Bye

I wrote:

What is Western Union?

dennis wrote:

Too bad that i must make sure i kill you without considering mercy anymore .bye

Wow he's not even taking the time to explain what WU is. Impatient!

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 11:13 pm

I'm on with Dennis and after his bank was killed and my payment Interpol bounced he also wanted WU to Canada. I told him I'm housebound in a wheelchair and would have to get help to do it unless he can tell me how to do WU online. He is an impatient crud and said he doesn't want the money but I'm still dead meat so to speak. I was also working on hiring him to off my partner whom I know hired him to do me and he was down with that at first cause it meant mo money. So at present I begged for one more day to get someone to bring the cash to WU for me. Hopefully he will reply.

LW

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:41 am

Wow I just got emailed by another hitman lad.

Quote:

Subject: WHY ARE YOU INVOLVE TO BE KILLED
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2007 20:39:26 -0400
From: [email protected]

HELLOW ,

I NORMALLY INTRODUCE MY SELF BEFORE I EXECUTE MY JOB,I AM MR WILLIAM YAHMAN CHICHI,AN ITALIAN CITIZEN,YOU CAN SEE THAT BY MY NAME AND AT THE SAME TIME A HIRED ASSASSINE (AN ASSASINATOR) THAT IS MY JOB.

I LIKE TO GO STARIGHT TO THE POINT,SOME BODY PAID ME US $45,000.00 (FOURTY FIVE THOUSAND UNITED STATES OF AMERICAN DOLLAR) FOR ME TO KILL YOU WHILE THE REMAINING BALANCE OF 20,000.00 (TWENTY THOUSAND) WILL BE PAID AFTER THE JOB IS COMPLETED.

BUT BEFORE I CARRY ON MY DUTY,I NORMALLY LIKE TO HER FROM THE PERSON BEFORE HE OR SHE WILL MEET HIS SUDDEN DEATH,I WILL LIKE YOU TO BRIEF ME THE REASON WHY YOU ARE INVOLVED/ABOUT TO BE ASSASSINATE.

MY BOYS ARE NOW AFTER YOU,THAT IS TO SAY,THEY ARE NOW MONITORING YOUR MOVEMENTS,8 OF THEM HAVE ARRIVED YOUR COUNTRY (THE SPIES TEAM) WHILE THE REMAINING 7 WILL BE ARRIVED NEXT WEEK WHICH IS (THE EXECUTION TEAM).

AS SOON AS THE EXECUTION TEAM ARRIVED,CONSIDER YOUR SELF AS A DEAD PERSON BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY OFFER OR WHAT EVER FROM YOU.I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS MAY BE INVOLVED ONLY IF YOU MAKE THE REPROT TO THE POLICE OR ANY ENFORMENT AGENCIES,THAT IS TO SAY,IF YOU TAKE THE MATTER TO THE POLICE,ALL,I SAID ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS WILL BE DEAD WITHIN A SHORT TIME BECAUSE I NEVER MISS A TRAGET,I HAVE BEEN IN THE FIELD FOR GOOD 34 YEARS AND SINCE THEN,I HAVE NEVER FAILED/DISAPPOINT ANY OF MY CUSTOMERS.

SO,BE WARNED TILL I HEAR FROM YOU IF YOU LIKE.

WILLIAM YAHMAN.

I think this is turning into the "hitman lad" thread. Bait away guys, this lad could be awesome!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 25

I just responded to Josh's hitman with an offer of my own. Lets see how he responds. Very Happy

Quote:

The hell you say?
Who put you up to this?
Is it James? Because if it is James, you could be in grave danger. Now I'm sure you're a consummate professional but there are several things that you need to know before we continue. If you have been keeping me under surveillance then you know that we are both men of business and I'm sure that you can understand how someone who may want to compromise my situation wouldn't think twice about compromising yours and reneging on the contract. I await your prompt response so that way we can deal with this situation in a benificial manner for the both of us.

I like the name James, it's nice, simple, and rolls off the tongue. I think every hitman should use it. Wink

-J-

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:49 pm

Thanks back at ya Josh. Mr. Chichi just got a letter from me, and I'm sure he'll be lots of fun. I should take another run at Dennis too. There's almost nothing better (or dumber) than a hit-mugu!

Too bad we can't get safari runs out of these guys. They're almost too damn lazy to answer their e-mails, but I'd love to see one dance some time. Where's Red when we need him???

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 4:36 pm

I just got my first death threat this morning--I'm so excited. But I am a bit miffed that they took the contract for only $65,000, when yours got $100,000, Obi. Then again, my lad is sending his 15 best "assassinators" to do me in. Glad to know he thinks I'll be a rough one...... Laughing

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:45 pm

OK, D3nni5 is drooling at the keyboard as my helper is on the way to WU to make the 2 payments. I'm wheelchair bound ya see but he has now changed from letter bomb to poison for me if I don't pay today. He's asking for a MTCN number by email. Is this so he can check the payment online? What's the best way to get this freak off to WU to try and pick up the money? I figured first would do the blurry form attachment. Then real fake forms. I'm planning on blaming my helper for stealing the money when D3nni5 can't collect.

LW

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^ Lottowinner, there are a number of ways to get him off of the MTCN kick. Tell him that your scanner is broken. Tell him that you don't have a scanner, as you had to sell it, along with your home furnishings, to get his money. Tell him that the WU receipt got caught in a downpour, and you can't quite make out the numbers, but they look like xxxxx. Tell him that the person you sent to make the payment didn't give you a receipt. Then, later on, you could find out that this trusted person chopped your hitmans dollar.

Oh, and the MTCN number is so he can track the payment online. That's why the lads love Western Union.

Master Baiter Joined: 29 Jun 2006 Posts: 219

Found this one in the surplus.

Quote:

From: dennis roddman ([email protected])
> >
> >
> > Hello dear,
> > I am Mr clifford avuz the only man seer from london
> > living in usa I am a murderer. i was been paid to kill
> > you and you family by one of your friend's and the
> > date has come . my colleagues has been in your state
> > right now keeping eye's on everystep's you move but on
> > my searching about your contact email information i
> > find out your email and due to the love i have with
> > your family i decided to inform you about it before
> > going any forward with my boy's.
> > Do get back to me as soon as possible if you have
> > anything to say about this ,so that i will give all
> > their informations.
> > Thanks,
> > clifford
> > this is my responding mail;[email protected]

Is it Dennis or Clifford? I'm confused.

Quote:

Dear Clifford, That doesn't sound much of a friend to me. Would you tell me which of my so-called friends would do this? Also, how much did were you paid? Thanks,

Quote:

YOU DONT QUESTION ME I JUST WANNA INFORM YOU SO THAT YOU WILL BE AWARE OF YOUR DEATH. im a murderer and a frined of yours hired me to eliminate you and you > have just 5 days more to die.And i must make sure you die.Bye >

Quote:

Look buddy, maybe we can work out something. How much were you paid?

[quote LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD,WE WHERE BEEN PAID $100.000USD TO KILL YOU,
IF YOU WANNA SAVE YOUR SELF FROM THIS TRAP YOU GONNA ACT FAST,
MY MEN ARE AFTER YOU NOW,
FOR ME TO STOP MY MEN YOU HAVE TO COME UP WITH $200.000USD.THEY ARE WATCHING EVERY STEP YOU TAKE NOW,YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL THE WAY YOU MOVE NOW.
GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

GOOD LUCK
[/quote]

ah....has anybody put him through the Scrooge's WU secure verification? ITV5?

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:54 pm

Hitman lads are truly hilarious, it's their impatience that I just find so funny.

Here's an update regarding Dennis & myself. When we left off Dennis was to be damned with explaining WU to me, and was going to "show no mercy".

I wrote:

Dear Dennis,

Why can't you understand my situation a bit more? I
don't know what this Western Union thing is, can you
please explain it to me??? How am I meant to just send
this random person in Canada money? Surely I need his
bank account number or something.

Dennis wrote:

OK since you dont know western union then send it through money gram with the same name HARRY WHYTE. And let me tell you some cos im little bit patient with doesn't make you my friend im a murderer ok.

I wrote:

Dear friend,

What is moneygram? Is that like a telegram???

Ronald

Dennis wrote:

MAKE FRIEND,THINK I HAVE TOLERATED YOU ENOUGH.MAKE SURE DO WHAT I SAID OK.BYE

...and then a few hours later....

Dennis wrote:

MY FRIEND,I THINK IHAVE TOLERATED YOU ENOUGH.AND MAKE SURE YOU DO AS I INSTRUCT YOU.YOU HAVE LESS THAN 12HRS.BYE

I wrote:

Dear Sir,

I don't understand your lack of patience with me. I am doing everything that I can to help you out here and to comply with your demands, but simply I do not understand what your demands are. How can I possibly send this person in Canada money with only his name? Surely I need his address so that I can write him a cheque and put it in the mail to him? How safe is it to send cheques across countries? Would he still be able to cash it?

Please explain to me what Western Union and MoneyGram are - the only unions I know about are for workers to join together and have strikes, but I really don't see how that's relevant in this circumstance.

Please help me help you,
Ronald

Wow this guy's going to be a tough nut to crack. How hard can it be to have someone explain how to use WU?

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 187

We don't have newfangled enterprises like WU or M0neygram in my area either. However, the locals have used Goat-O-Gram successfully for hundreds of years.

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