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 I crack myself up sometimes...

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VigilAnte
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 14


PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Sure, I'm a n00b. But I have this knucklehead mugu on the hook. I'm about to contact the "security company" to get the mugu's inheritance. We've exchanged a few e-mails. Here's the latest:

***************************************************

Hi again John.

I am back from the doctor and have terrible news.

The doctor thinks I may have bleeding rectititis, a condition that is very rare and is likely due to the fact that my colon was never fully formed.

He said I have a semi-colon.

We will have to wait for the medical tests to come back, but it's possible that they will want to do a artificial colon implant using asstroturf, or just remove my rectum altogether in a radical rectitectomy or even a full rectumectomy.

This is a very scary situation for me - I just don't know what will happen. I am so worried about my bunghole that I don't know what to do. I think I'll just hope that it all comes out ok in the end and that I'll be able to sit.

I will be very interested to talk with you about buying gold in Ghana - assuming I survive the operation! How is the medical care there? I read that the capital of Ghana is Accra. Maybe I should come to Accra to see if the doctors there can treat bleeding rectititis. I know you Africans have access to much better medicines than we do here in the USA, because the drug companies here are in a conspiracy to keep the people sick.

Do you have such conspiracies in Ghana? I always wondered if the drug companies are evil everywhere, or just here in the USA. Of course, the trilateral commission is behind it all anyway. Between the drug companies and the military-industrial complex, it's a wonder that the USA doesn't just close the doors and declare bankruptcy. Have you ever thought about investing your money in Area 51? I hear that the returns are out of this world.

I am sorry about the file with my contact details. I didn't save it in the proper format, so I have attached it again. I hope you will forgive me for being a little distracted. It's hard to concentrate with all the drugs they have put me on for the bleeding rectititis.

I think I got the file right this time - I'm not very good with computers.

Skating away, on the thin ice of a new day,

Ch4rlest0n Ch3w

*******************************************

I should mention that in the first e-mail, I sent him 1.6 MB of garbage that was supposed to be my contact information.

In the follow-up, I sent him 9.5 MB of the same, since he couldn't decipher the firat load of elephant dung.

This is way too much fun!!!!('Laughing')

10 bonus points for anybody who knows where I got that signoff line from; Skating away... (and searching the web for it doesn't count!)

VigilAnte - still a n00b, but having a l0t of fun baiting the mugus!

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Ima Baeder
419Eater Admin


Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 18314


PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:25 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi VigilAnte! Glad to see you're having fun. Very Happy
All of your butt jokes might be over the top and he'll figure out that you're a joker. . . or, he might not even read it and just skim down to the transaction part. Remember when you're amusing yourself with your own writing that often they don't even read the emails, they just look for the part about money.

Good Luck and keep enjoying yourself!

PS. I have no idea about guessing your sign-off.

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Dog Dine
Elite Baiter


Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1473
Location: The Material World


PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Jethro Tull! 10 points for me!

Oh, and your jokes are quite amusing. I don't dare be so flippant in my baits because I figure it will tip off the lads that I'm a joker. But I bet Ima Baeder is right, they barely notice your clever writing and just look for the MTCN.
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josslyn
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 56
Location: Montreal


PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I loved the semi-colon part, that was hilarious.

I'm new at this so I'm not one to give advice but I do think my lad doesn't read all I write. I ask A LOT of questions. When he responds and doesn't answer the questions, my character puts on her psycho hat and gives him a slap.
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Lady Wolf
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 19


PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 9:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Very funny stuff, I;ve noticed as well they don't usually read your e-mails and answer them until you slap them a bit. I;m still a beginniner, but one thing i did find helps is to captialise anythign you want them to answer such as DO YOU THINK THIS WILL TAKE LONG? etc.. It helps them pick out the questions to struggle answering from the rest.

Then for more fun later on you can write in StiCkY cApS and force them read the entire thing. Evil or Very Mad (and claim in the beginning of such mail you're shift key is sticking)
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itsoktoplay
Master Baiter


Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 123
Location: Where I'm baiting. You were there. Two worlds colliding...


PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 7:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I like the sTiCKey CaPS idea. what an annoying little task to get the lad off script- without going over the top!

Rear-end jokes are good as anything going expect for mistaking them for a woman. I like to throw in mistakes about their gender to get them upset but back for more under-the-radar humiliation. Thanks for sharing.

_________________
i have a brother that can squiss u like bread.
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NSFW:

MORE FOR YOU, YOU THAT WAS BORN FROM A SMELLIN PUSSY, THERE ARE LOOKING FOR
YOUR MOTHER TO USE HER PUSSY LIQUIDE FOR ATOMIC BOMB PLEASE SEND ME HER
NUMBERS, WE WILL MAKE ALOT OF MONEY FROM IT. 50/50 FAIR DEAL (MONKEY)
[email protected]

YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE AN IGBO. [email protected]

You sound so dead, and I like it. dead boy is what you are. [email protected]
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Mike Oxlong
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 59
Location: Right behind you


PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 8:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I do like to throw in how I enjoy a Dirty Sanchez and the like to them, but generally not right away. Some either see you're joking too early, or they don't read it so it's wasted material.

I'm more opt to do that stuff (and I love doing it) when I have their trust, and have them off the script. When I have long emails to them, throw in "Dirty Sanchez" somewhere and they ask "What is dirty sancez?" I know they are paying attention.
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MattNW
419Eater is my life


Joined: 21 Nov 2005
Posts: 264


PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ima Baeder wrote:
All of your butt jokes might be over the top and he'll figure out that you're a joker.


I've done some "over the top" stuff and never once had them figure it out. With English being a second language for many of these lads a lot of the word plays will likely go right over their heads. Of course you can always enjoy it as your own private joke on them.

Charleston Chew = candy bar. Very Happy

_________________
please feed me in with more info. - Dr. Soludo

Also we found out that some of the officials of the prostates may have been extorting a lot of money from you with the pretext of helping you receive your money.

LET ME TELL YOU,SINCE YOU DID NOT HAVE A SINGLE RESPECT,YOU MOUTH MAY PUT YOU INTO TROUBLE.
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