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 Earless Missionary needs your help!

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Sirius Jones
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 62
Location: Earth, or thereabout


PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 5:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I don't have a clue if this one is going anywhere, but I thought the letter was hilarious and wanted to share it. I was pretty proud of my response too....


GLORY AND HONOR JESUS CHRIST


Greetings to you in the precious name of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Myself is pastor P.Prasanna Jeevan Babu.G.TH,B.TH I am residence at MUGGALA living in small stitched tent. Mine’s is a very poor family. But rich in faith. I am carrying on my life preaching the God’s word and by gathering some believers of Jesus and conducting service on Sunday I also visit the house and preach the word of God I also distribute scripture of the bible to all people.

I am also running Sunday school for the children. I have gathering of above 25 families. I want to do more work but at I am poor and as I have no other source of financial support and I am unable to woke full strength.

But still by the Grace of God .I am doing my service without ear and holding to my belief on God.


I request you to help for ministry. Please pray for my church family, and ministry.
We are praying for you, your family and your help.


Looking forward for your prayerful mail.



Thanking you. IN HIS SREVICE



PASTOR. P. PRASANNA JEEVAN BABU
C/O L. VARAMMA.
HOUSE NO.41-2-107
VEERABADHRA NAGER, TADITHOTA.
3STREET. RAJAHMUNDRY.
E.G.DT. AP. INDIA.



Mugu-sahib Babu also sent a series of pictures of a real Indian mission, the kind of folks who need the help bastards like Babu are trying to divert to themselves.



My Sweet Babu,

Thank you for your letter. I am sorry to read that you are running your ministry without ears and are unable to awaken at full strength. I'll bet that not having ears may have something to do with that. But don't be sad; I am certain that while you might not hear too well, your other senses might have improved to compensate. In America, there is a man called Daredevil who fights crime in Hell's Kitchen. He is blind from a childhood accident, but his other senses (especially his hearing) improved to a super human level. Maybe your eyesight will improve. I hope you won't start wearing a silly costume like Daredevil, though; personally, I think straight men should never wear leather. But then you live in India; aren't cows sacred there? Are they considered sacred even by Indian Christians? Are you a straight man? If you're not, I still wouldn't recommend the leather look for you. It always looks especially silly on people who look like you and have thick accents.

Thank you for all the lovely pictures as well; I would love to see more, especially of little girls. Do you like little girls? Do you like little boys? Which do you like more? If you like little boys more, you still shouldn't wear leather, even if your eyesight is phenomenal. If you do get super powers like Daredevil, will you fight crime, or will you still be a minister and hang around with little boys? Or little girls?

Thanks for your prayers too. Snakes alive, I need them here. I run a mission in Antarctica--and avian mission--for the Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent. I'm a High Priest there, one of three ministering under the tutelege of His Holiness Reverend Rael, High Colonic of the Church. I'm also a penguin herder, but I do that because I enjoy being around penguins. Kind of like the way you like being around little boys. And little girls. How long have you been bisexual, by the way? Does anyone else know this about you? Besides the little boys, I mean. And the little girls. I'm pretty sure they've figured it out by now. I'd still forget about the leather, though. Pudgy little Indian guys can never pull that look off. Americans have been laughing at them for trying since the 1970's.

Anyway, good luck with the ministry. I'll pray to the Divine Bifurcated One for you, because if you get caught with those kids, you're going to need it. Your kind never does well in prison.

Write again soon. And send more pictures.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home


I'll be surprised if I hear back from Babu, but you never know..... Laughing

_________________
my friend are you mad i do not want you to reply this mail or i will call the god of thunder to strike you ok

i have told you not to play with me because i will send HOLY GHOST FIRE to you and your entire family and you will be burnt like the princess of baal .

Morrison "Big Mo" Ibekwe


I have been diagnosed with Cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine.

Saheed Djabal
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Sirius Jones
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 62
Location: Earth, or thereabout


PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 5:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Amazing! He wrote back after all the things I called him!




DEAREST BELOVED BROTHER SIRIUS AND NEAREST BELOVED FAMILY.
Good morning dear family members in our hearts and prayers. Praise the Lord for another Lord’s Day in our short lives. I do hope each of you are feeling well and you are now prepared to have a wonderful service in your church and blessed day in the Lord to praise and worship. It is my prayer that your hearts and minds will be prepared to worship our Lord as you enter your church with praise and thanksgiving. May God Almighty be given all the glory and honor in all “we” do today. I pray this will be aproductive and blessed day for us all. Today we had good day to worship, praise and pray in our church.

Thank you very much for your encouraging mails and pray for our churches, churches and families in India. By the grace of God and your holy prayers and help we had wonderful outreach meetings, night prayers, meetings among our fellowship pastor’s churches and prisoner ministry in the week by the Grace of God and your holy prayer. Jesus is leading us and guiding us according His will and purpose in India.

Today morning we Sunday school with our children.And after that we had praise and worship. All are filled with Holy Ghost once again. And we spend much time in prayer. Today we had challenging messages from James 4:8
“ Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinner; and purify your hearts, you double minded.”

It is really a great Joy and happy to share that we had baptism service in our church 3 women were baptism . We were singing songs and went to the canal (2 kilometer) with some our believers and praising the living lord Jesus among the Hindu people’s streets and bringing Glory and honor to Jesus Christ. Please pray for their families and their personal life with Jesus. And please keep this prayer matter that 3 of the willing to take baptism on next Sunday.

Over all we enjoyed the worship service with wonderful Presence pf Holy Ghost among us. Today we did special prayers for yourfamily and your good health. Once again thank you so much for your prayers for blessed worship service in our church. All they are daily praying for you.
Please share our love and greetings to our family members, friends and saint in your area. Please share our love and prayers and ministry to your friends and saints in our area. Tell them pray for us and encourage us with their mails and prayers. YOU ARE IN OUR HERATS AND PRAYERS. Looking forward to see your return message within few hours,
GOD BLESSYOU,

YOURS IN HIS VINEYARD,

Yours loving family in your hearts and prayers.

PASTOR.P.PRASANNA JEEVAN BABU



Babu,

Sounds like you're running a mission that the Bifurcated One would be proud of. Woot woot way to go! So now that you've introduced your farcistic endeavor to me, when are getting to the meat of your correspondence? I must admit, you do possess more subtlety than the average West African, but I still find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'll still keep you in my prayers, yes, even in my herat of herats, my pedophilic pen-pal. You're going to need it one day.


Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

_________________
my friend are you mad i do not want you to reply this mail or i will call the god of thunder to strike you ok

i have told you not to play with me because i will send HOLY GHOST FIRE to you and your entire family and you will be burnt like the princess of baal .

Morrison "Big Mo" Ibekwe


I have been diagnosed with Cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine.

Saheed Djabal
View user's profileSend private message
Sirius Jones
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 62
Location: Earth, or thereabout


PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 4:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This guy is amazing! He keeps coming back no matter how I insult him! He even wants to join my “religion”…..



DEAREST BELOVED BROTHER SIRIUS,
Greetings to you in the most precious and wonderful name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank you for your prayers and mail to you. We have full desire to serve the Lord under your great leadership. We are doing His work Individual till today but we like to work under your organization. Pleasegive us permission to join with you.

Thank you for your good letter and prayers. Few words about my self, I was borne in Hindu family and worshipping the gods and goddess but now I did find who is real God Jesus Christ and I did dedicate my life for Christ.

We are doing evangelical work among thepoor and downtrodden people in 35 different areas in India with 32 pastors. We are proclaim the message of salvation through tracts booklets, house to house visiting. We are doing evangelical work among the poor and downtrodden people in 35 different areas in India with 32 pastors. We are proclaiming the message of salvation through tracts booklets, house to house visiting.

I did attached ministry pictures to you. They are showing about my ministry progress.

In His Service,

Pastor .P. Prasanna Jeevan Babu
LOVE OF JESUS CHURCH AND MINISTRY.
C\O.K.VARAMMA.
MUGGALA, 533 209.
SEETANAGARAM MANDALAM,
E.G.DT.AP.INDIA



At this point, I required him to send me a photo to show he was legit….him with a banner reading “Praise to the Bifurcated One”. I thought that would be the end of him, but sometimes I am very wrong……..

DEAREST BELOVED REV. SIRIUS JONES AND NEAREST BELOVED CHURCH.
Greeting to you in the holy name of our Lord Jesus Christ.Thank you very much for your holy prayers amdmail to us.We do daily praying for you,your family and your good health.
all our orphan children in your church, fellowship pastors, bible women, aged widowed mothers, leper friends and churches praying and giving thier love and big hugs.

we are poor in the world in the world, but rich in Jesus christ. we need your holy prayers,love and fellowsjip to reach unreached people in india.

YOU ARE IN OUR HEARTS AND DAILY PRAYERS.

May God Bless you abundantly

In His service.
Pastor.P.Prasanna Jeevan Babu.
D.Kesavaram - 533 351.
E.G.DT. AP. INDIA







[url]http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/babu
[/url]


This is truly the serpent servant I’ve been seeking!!


My friend Babu:

Thank you for your wonderful pictures of your truly beautiful congregation. I have nothing but praise for the work you have done, and my prayers and blessings are with you and your people. If I could lift your people from the desperate poverty they face I would do so without hesitation, but I am not a wealthy man. I am a spiritual man, like yourself.

I greatly respect your teachings and your work, and would welcome more knowledge if you will share. I especially am interested in those who are lepers, for their suffering is great. If you could send me pictures of them so that I may see for whom I pray, I would be grateful.

My friend Babu, as I have told you, I serve the Bifurcated One, the Divine Serpent who serves our Creator. I can offer you enlightenment if you wish for it, but I must have your honesty before I can offer what I have learned of our existence in this wonderful but harsh universe. If this is what you wish--to join with the Church of the Bifurcated Serpent-- please tell me so in your next mailing. Also, please tell me what access you have to the Internet, the Divine Sharing, so that I may reach to you better. There are many secrets I wish to share with a chosen people, and I pray that you are the ones to whom I am led. For now, you will find some very basic teachings at the Internet address you find unde my signature at each emailing. Please read them and meditate on them, for there is much I wish to teach you and your Faithful.

I truly say that you have a beautiful flock, especially the children whom I love as I love life. Truly I would love to hold and cherish each of them. I pray for the safety and health of all whom you touch and look forward to someday walking among you. Be blessed, my dear and honorable friend.



Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Still to come….the religious enlightenment of Pastor Babu.

_________________
my friend are you mad i do not want you to reply this mail or i will call the god of thunder to strike you ok

i have told you not to play with me because i will send HOLY GHOST FIRE to you and your entire family and you will be burnt like the princess of baal .

Morrison "Big Mo" Ibekwe


I have been diagnosed with Cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine.

Saheed Djabal
View user's profileSend private message
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