The Great Jewel Heist Safari: The Adventure Continues

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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:41 am

Alright, as promised here is an update of what happened while I was overseas.

We'll pick from where we last left off. When we last heard from the old boy he had sent this to M1ch:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: I will be with you soon ok.

My Wife,

Please i am not planing to abandon you and my son 1k3,i am waiting to receive money from my uncle assistance and he promise to send it on Monday to me here in m0pti,please i promise to be with you over there before Thursday OK.

Relax and be more prayerful in God,i will be coming through overland and that will take us a day to arrive OK,the river route will take us 2 to 3 days to arrive so we can,t go through river route we will be coming through overland to be fast OK.

I really miss you and my son.

your husband

This was while he was still in M0pt1 and M1ch was awaiting his arrival in good old T1mbuktu. The above was sent on the 4th of December 2007. Unfortunately I left at that date and was unable to communicate with him. He sent a few emails since and I think they're worth recording.

Oh, in case anyone forgets, F4ther M4x and Pr0f Rup3rt Sc0tt were also on the scene.

Here's what he sent M1ch on 4/12/07 after I had left the country (in real life):

1k3 wrote:

Honey,

How are you doing and how is my son 1k3.hope everything is OK,please i want to inform you that we have arrive in t0mb0uct0u,we just arrive in the late night and we can,t locate the exact camp,please you have to come over here in c0l0mba hotel t0mb0uct0u because my uncle is very sick of fever and i can,t live him alone over here to die OK.talk to Mr Sc0tt to bring you over here immediately because we are planing to leave tomorrow morning for the treatment OK,don,t wast anytime now and no excuss OK.
once you get there call us on phone and i will stand in the front of the hotel waiting for now.

Your husband,

1k3.

Lovely stuff. Unfortunately I didn't get to read this at the time, but still, very funny. The IP states Mali, but not much more than that. However the hotel "C0l0mbe" checks out and is recommended by the lonely planet Razz

I have no reason to disbelieve the lad. If he was bluffing it would have been pretty obvious. He had no reason to bluff after all the travels he had endured.

Anyway, because I was AWOL I wasn't able to respond at this critical point in the safari and thus the lad quickly got fed up. He sent this to professor sc0tt first:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: BYE.

Hello Prof Sc0tt,

i waited over and over in hotel l4 col0mbe and you did not care to come and meet me, now we are about to travel back to Ghana from there to Nigeria because i am tired of all this surfing,i traveled more than 4000 km from Ghana to here in t0mb0uctou city center and i ask you to meet me in hotel l4 c0lombe for us to meet each other and you refuse now i am going back to my country.you can stay with m1ch3lle over there and let her be your wife OK. Laughing

bye for now and once again thanks for surfing my life. Laughing

1k3.

Not a happy chappy.

Meanwhile I sent him this on my travels:

Rup3rt wrote:

Hello 1k3

I am so glad to hear you got here alright.

Our generator has been down for two days and we haven't had any electricity and you
weren't answering your phone so I couldn't get through.

We are very worried that M1ch3ll3 is in danger from what you have been saying.

How can you prove you are here to pick her up? I want to believe you but now I am worried
and you told me not to allow anyone to come to the camp. I asked M1ch3ll3 what she thought
and she said she learned that a good security technique was when you took a photo in front
of a landmark with a personal password. She told me that the password you should use for a
security photo is "From Here to T1mbuktu..." so we will know that it is definitely you and
now this other person who is also looking for our camp.

I don't really know anything about this but she seems to think it is the best because you
and her have done this before or something. You should take it in front of the famous
Mosque here so I know you are here. You know the one I am talking about I think.

I will send a Jeep to pick you up immediately.

Sincerely,

Rup3rt

Well... it was worth a shot... seeing as I couldn't contact the lad at all I figured I'd go for broke. Not surprisingly this was the straw that broke the camel's back and he sent this is in response the next day:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: DON,T EMAIL ME AGAIN...

Dear Pr0f Sc0tt,

It,s very unfortunate that you and M1ch3ll3 did not believe me since all this days and i am glad to know that but i want to inform you that i can,t take any photo to prove anything OK.

listen if you don,t believe that i am here is right by me,also i believe that you don,t call any of my number here as you said because i have been receiving so many calls ever since i come over here in Mali,right now i have known your plans and i promise you that i will never ever come back again in searching of anybody,i want you to be her husband and the father of her kids and stop writing to me again since you don,t trust and believe me,thanks very much for surfing my life OK.

if you like i will tell more about t0mb0uctou but right now i have to be on my way to Nigeria and that is final. Laughing

1k3.

Hahahahaha I love that last line... "and that is final!"... I can just imagine him feeling somewhat proud of his ability to finally stand up for himself... then for him to realise that he's in the middle of bloody no where with no money and a Malian who is sick with fever and more than likely wants to kill him for putting him through the ordeal. Great stuff.

He sent the same email to M1ch who responded with this a few days later:

M1ch wrote:

baby,

thank god you're alive!

f4ther m4x came for me. he took mr. sc0tt away and i ran. i hopped on a transport.

dear god save me... i am scared, they are hunting me, what am i going to do? your love will protect me, i know it. i love you more than anything in this world. i think they will capture me soon. this might be the last email i can write before they get me. i want you to know that i love you and i would do anything for you.

your son loves you too.

your loving wife

unbelievably the lad responded (there's no saving this lad Rolling Eyes

) and wrote this back:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: Please don,t die

Honey,

Please i am really worried about you and my son,i hard everything you said and Mr H4mish called my uncle in lagos about the jewels,please let me know where you are now ok.

Love you with all my life.

Your husband

Hamish called his uncle?! News to me...

A few days later he followed his email up with this:

1k3 wrote:

Honey,

How are you doing,hope everything is OK with you and my baby.please i want you to understand that God is in control of everything and nothing will happen to you neither my baby,please any where you are now i want you to be calling the blood of Jesus Christ to cover you over there also i will like to know where you are now so that i will know what to do now.H4mish is very serious in searching of my and my uncle but i believe that my God will never disappoint me and also with you just have the trust and believe also and you will be save soon.

Listen honey,right now they have captured Mr Sc0tt and take him away,please i want you to be very careful and smart now any where you are,don,t think of replying any mail from anybody not even from Mr Sc0tt because i know that they will be using him to get you now OK.do as i said and you will be very save from them OK.

I really love you so much and i am praying for you always.

Your Husband,

That was over a month ago.

He then repeated that same message earlier this month and that is where I picked up the tale again.

So now you're all up to date. The lad had a very fun trip and by my calculations didn't leave T1mbuktu until about a week later (when the IP addresses changed again).

It should also be noted that the lad is STILL in Ghana. He has not returned to his native Nigeria yet and is believed to be living with a member of his family in Accra.

The lad has been away from home now for almost 6 months. Not only has this lad been shipped all over West Africa but he has now seemingly semi-permanently relocated to Ghana... no doubt in an effort to avoid all the people he owes money to back home.

Well... the lad pain is not over and I'm planning many more adventures for our favourite lad very soon.

Stay posted and always feel free to post or PM your thoughts and ideas!

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:22 am

poor lad, he was become a wanted man.

Out of curiosity I would ask how much he has borrowed for his 6 month journey. You need to know to set some money aside from the sale of the jewels Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:31 pm

4lici4 got this from him today:

Quote:

My Love,

How are you doing today,hope everythig is ok with you overthere,please i want you to be carefull in everything your doing and find away from h4mish bcos his a davil in your life.i really don't know what to do again i wish i can travel again to get you out from london to greece.i love you somuch,i have a dream about our future and we will make it.

Your heart.
Chvks.
xxxx

When he started writing to 4lici4 again, he claimed he was in Greece - he seems to have forgotten he subsequently said he was back in Africa, where he was mugged and lost his travel documents. His IP shows Ghana, which is where he said he was. Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:38 pm

Red: awesome! I hear that Benin is lovely this time of year. Maybe a safari to that fine establishment un in Pend-ja-ri is in order? I think that if your lad could only see how much Mich3ll3 loves him, then... he would certainly go to meet her.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:56 pm

@Red - This lad still has some life left in him? Amazing. I'm sure you will build up his trust, and get him moving, again! Good luck! Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 4:29 pm

Well, I figured since I have not heard from the lad Samuel who went on safari through Senegal for a while, I would give him a spook. I gathered emails from Ike, his friends and a bunch of other lads that are in the same internet cafe as Samuel. I included the original wanted poster of Ike with it. The email read:

Quote:

ATTENTION:

There is a large reward for the capture Samuel Uwen. He is responsible for sending out the attached Wanted poster. He has sold out his brother who goes by the name: Nicholas Chukwuka Okoye. He has been helping authorities track down this man in order to kill him. This man was given $25,000 in cash and he has it at his home. He is located in Senegal. I urge anyone and everyone to try to apprehend this man. Below is his name, phone number and email address. The reward for his capture is $50,000. The following are a list of crimes he has committed:

1. Stealing money after giving information on the capture of Okoye.
2. Turning in advanced fee scammers and stealing their magas.
3. Having sex with local goats.

Samuel Uwen
Phone Number: 00221 77 228 73 76
Email: [email protected]

Please, if you see this man or know how to contact him, please get in touch with me. Do everything you can to make him pay for his crimes.

Feel free to bombard this mugu with whatever you can. Call him. Email him. Do whatever. This guy was so worried that Ike was going to fin out he was helping Interpol find him. He always worried for his safety. So, what better way to make him paranoid than to copy Ike on that email?

Here is the response that Ike sent:

Quote:

Listen Samuel or what ever you called your name,i have informed that your after my life since last year.now this is your to die.

Bye.

And one more funny one:

Quote:

Fuck You!!!
F*ck your Money!!!
F*ck your @ss!!!
Do not Write Me A gain On Such Trash Or I Fish You And Smoke You... Question

Go F*ck Your Mama!!!

So, it looks like my work here is done. It was fun Red and Hekate and Ook and everyone else involved.

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 4:55 pm

^^It sounds like he definitely needs another phone call Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 4:57 pm

Jojo! I like the little injection of >zing< there at the end! This should make them both unhappy! Hahahaha!

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:00 pm

Jojo! How baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad of you!

I like it! Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:57 pm

Ook, feel free to call him again. Tell him that you have put his name on the most wanted list and given it to everyone in the surrounding areas.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:02 am

I just asked B1lly Fr0st and S4muel to mail each other Twisted Evil

Oooh, I wish I could read _that_ conversation Laughing

BTW is there a service that allows me to masquerade my sending addy as something else?

I had to use a third account, and asked them to use the address I supplied...

I _really_ hope they get to touch base Cool

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:09 am

Wonderful stuff Jojo! Thanks for the update. What a lovely lad Laughing

Well the lad replied to M1ch today with this:

1k3 wrote:

My Heart,

How are you doing today honey and how is my son doing also.please nomatter what happen please keep my son save bcos he is the only one i have and my life also.please where are you now let me know also tell me the time you will be online ok.

Your Heart,

He's pretty much back into the routine again now. So I'll start building up the next story and adventure and see how we go. I'll post a little teaser a bit later.

Any ideas for future adventures (like the Benin one posted above) will be greatly appreciated. Keep in mind this lad has pretty much no money now, but hey, it's never stopped him in the past! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:21 am

This baby must be almost cooked by now? Did you ever decide when it was due?? The devil is in the detail Wink

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:38 am

Red wrote:

Any ideas for future adventures

@Red - Your problem is going to be finding somehwere that you haven't aleady sent this mugu....
I mean where in the hell do you send him?..... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:47 am

I think I would complete the circle and send M1ch back to Lagos for urgent obstetric treatment and force her beloved to follow her. He has a LOT of people there who'd love to see him again.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:55 pm

Simba wrote:

@Red - Your problem is going to be finding somehwere that you haven't aleady sent this mugu too....
I mean where in the hell do you send him?..... Laughing

@Simba: I think this mugu really needs a holiday. What could be more relaxing than a nice $imb@ $@f@ri. Maybe M1ch could use some of the jewels to pay for her & 1k3 to spend some weeks relaxing.

@Red: In case you missed them while you were AWOL, there are a few $imb@ $@f@ris here, here & here.

I'm sure 1K3 would love the idea of somewhere secluded where he can be with M1ch and help her count the jewels without being chased half-way round Africa, & I know M1ch can do with the rest after her ordeal.

Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:45 am

Yeah 1k3 was the first S1mb4 S4f4r1 guinea pig and it did not go well... that goose is cooked.

As for the baby, I did work it out and she's actually due some time in March I think... so maybe time to pop old 1k3 Jnr out Very Happy

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Oct 2005 Posts: 16

Red wrote:

Yeah 1k3 was the first S1mb4 S4f4r1 guinea pig and it did not go well... that goose is cooked.

I must have missed that bit. Will have t go back and read the whole thing again now.

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:04 am

Mod Edit: Full requote of previous post removed because we can all see it ^^^^

Strange, I seem to have 2 accounts.

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:45 pm

Well if you're looking for hell, try here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/6070400.stm

I've lost track, is M1ch still in Mali?

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:22 pm

Funny, since I spent a month in Mopti in 2006. If you need a photo from Mopti to help bait, PM me.

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:30 pm

Just a quick update chaps - the lad has started emailing H4mish again, from his fake jewellery salesman addy. He recycled the original pic Red sent him of the box of jewels - and H4mish not un-naturally asked for proof that these were in fact his long-lost jewels. Twisted Evil

Quote:

sir,
Happy weekend. i have every proof of the jewels,it all depends on what you want. just mention them i will give it to you. mich3ll3 and her guy,ik came to our office yesterday for the payment but it happens that we don't have enough capital and they were relocated to ghana pending when the money will be ready.i learnt that they will be relocating to america after the payment.mich3ll3 gave me one of her pictures which can also serve as proof and i think she is pregnant.
meanwhile,feel free to call me with my mobile number +xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ,i am ready to give you every information you need.Your jewels are in my custody but my chairman is seriously running around for the money.i can only send you mails from my chairman's office but if you wan't quick reply you can call me on phone.
Regards to your family.
J0hn 0bi.

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:17 pm

Aw bless, so M21ch and 1ke finally met up and they are going to live happy ever after Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:22 pm

Yeah, even though he's still swearing eternal love and marriage to 4lici4! Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:53 pm

Another email from one of the lad's alter egos, even though none of my charas have spoken to him in over a month!

'Happy Easter Mr Macbeth,
I hope you have recovered from your ill heath. The resurrected christ will surely see you through in Jesus name,Amen.
Mich3ll3 and her boy received some money from my boss today. The amount totalled $200,000.Thier balance is around $1m.
They will sleep in Nigeria today to go back to ghana first thing tmorrow morning.they will relocate to a better hotel this time around. But, they revealed one secret to me of which i will let you know after investigations.
Then,on a more serious note if you don't want these informations just let me know so that i will stop writing you.Regards to your family.
Best of lucks.'

He just can't let this go, can he? Twisted Evil

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