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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 6:34 am

My poor pet is trapped in some refugee camp and complaining about the lack of food there. It totally breaks my heart to know this (... Laughing

), and as such I would like to send some health food over so they can get healthy. Providing that someone doesn't inform me that it's illegal to ship food over seas, I am compiling a list of health foods for this pet and would appreciate any input you may have so my pet does not keel over from lack of food (I was hoping he'd keel over from a high sodium and msg intake instead Laughing

).

So far I have pickled pigs feet, top ramen, and canned anchovies/sardines. Anything else?

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 6:42 am

I recall my father eating pigs' trotters when I was young. He considered it something of a treat. Shocked

It never tempted me.

I'd offer him fried squirrel too. No bait is complete without a squirrel. Tell him it will increase his sexual prowess (and give him an insatiable lust for nuts). Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 6:45 am

^^^ Shall I send him the squirrel alive? That could be an interesting report. Laughing

I'm thinking they need to spice up their lives over in Nigeria as well... maybe some Ti peppers would work. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 7:21 am

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man to fish, and he eats for a life time.
I say you send him some seeds.
Corn, sunflower, lettuce, only the good stuff.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 7:39 am

I'm sure the authorities would turn a blind eye to your illegal exporting of foodstuff as it is such a worthy cause. Laughing

Salt and vinegar crips, soy sauce might be useful. And don't forget - any meat products should be well packed in salt to ensure they survive the journey. You don't want then to rot on the way. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 142

I think feeding him a tube of sherbert heavily ladden with baking soda and washed down with a bottle of coke should see him perk up a bit.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 7:56 am

Coca-Cola and mentos. Enuff said.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:04 am

<br>Pork scratchings.

Jacobs Cream Crackers.It is impossible to eat three dry ones one after the other without taking a drink. Try it and you will see what I mean.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

tripe

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 9:23 am

^^ No Thud. Tommo is right. You can't eat 3 Crackers without a drink. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 9:29 am

@sellingrich

QUO: If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man to fish, and he eats for a life time. UNQ..

And go against the mob and you sleep with the fishes--just ask Luca Brazzi.

@full auto JJMcQ--

Possum innards, fried sasquatch chitlins, jackalope pate', Rocky Mountain oysters, .etc. I'm reminded of a classic wall-poster from the early 1970s showing some skinny swami-type refugee from Bangladesh opening up a CARE package full of candy bars. I wish I still had it. Can't locate it on the net, but if you saw it, you never forgot it.

It fries MY gizzard to have these Bujumburam Camp orphans tell me that they are starving, but they sure have money to spend in the netcafe. Once or twice when I was told they hadn't eaten in 2-3 days I reminded them that food hadn't changed in that time, lobster and filet mignon still tastes the same.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:14 am

thud419 wrote:

tripe

I second that. Surely the most horrific food ever.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:23 am

Josh--

That or cow tongue..yecch..But it is useful at Christmas for postage stamps for cards..The mugus do like their cow-feet soup, so as disgusting as tripe seems--and it is--I'm sure it is eaten when possible in WestAf. They probably eat everything except 'the moo'.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 1:49 pm

One word. Spam

Mod edit, to turn your post into a link. Hope you don't mind, Mr. Mugu!---crash Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Gruel.

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:06 pm

Hemp 'energy' bars?

Rolling Eyes

EDIT: Mr. Mugu-- GREAT idea. Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 2:50 pm

Just google the show Fear Factor, nuff said.

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:10 am

lol. Some cow penis and weasel nuts will be nice.

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:16 am

jxd wrote:

Hemp 'energy' bars?

I wonder if those would last long enough for me to send to my pet? From what I hear about those you eat one and then you can't help eating the rest... due to those darn munchies. Laughing

Great ideas guys thanks!

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 3:58 am

Laxatives - just because he's in a refugee camp is no excuse not be regular Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 4:16 am

^^^ yeah, chocolate ex lax. And Mayonnaise.

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:32 am

Hmm... I wonder if I'd be called a terrorist for sending mentos and diet coke over seas Twisted Evil

. Throw the ex lax in with it... that could provide some very noxious and explosive fumes as well. Laughing

@ Jervis: No worries about the cow tongue, I will spare my pet the pleasure of having to eat that wonderful stuff by downing it over some nice wine. Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:55 am

Quote:

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man to fish, and he eats for a life time.

Well, teach a man to fish and he sits in a boat drinking beer and making up lies all day, but who am I to mess up a good saying?

Food you can send to your lad... this could be fun. Since crystal meth (tell him it's juice crystals) would probably maybe cause trouble with the law somewhere, I might not suggest it. See, water is the most important thing here. Decent water can be hard to find in parts of the world, which is why I suggest sending him some "instant water" tablets.

That's right. All you do it take one tablet, just add water and poof - instant water. Your mugu will be genuinely touched at your concern and generosity-ness. Might even send you a trophy pic.

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 6:14 am

Hi Losst-J ^

QUO: Since crystal meth (tell him it's juice crystals) would probably maybe cause trouble with the law somewhere, UNQ..

IMHO your lad knows what meth is, the Axis invented it during WW2. And at the very least he knows of the inherent hassles involved when transporting any powdered substance across a border, even if it is Kool-Aid, alum, or baking soda..You would/could go to prison in several countries until you proved your innocence or paid off the authorities--or both.

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 7:07 am

Geez Jervis, why do you think I made sure NOT to suggest it? You seem to know a lot about that particular substance and international distribution thereof. Is there something you're not telling us here? Sorry... couldn't resist.

But seriously folks,

Drugs (except for caffeine, nicotine, loud music, cold medication, spanish fly, and beer) are bad. Bad bad bad. So is trans-fat for that matter, so don't send your lads any trans fat either. Better just stick to instant water - and maybe some freeze-dried Colorado lobster for dessert. It's the latest thing. Comes in little cubes that look conspicuously sugar, but don't be fooled.

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