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Ok.. hi all. It's been more than a year since I've been here. Not that my absence or presence makes much difference in the whole scheme of things.. but life kinda got in the way and I am now living in a new place (same state and town.. just a different part of it) and have my own karate school going on.. well, I work with the local Police Athletic League, teaching karate to underprivileged kids.. no pay, but it is quite rewarding.
ANYWAY.. Didn't want to just pop in without a gift, of sorts.. so I thought I'd post a recent email I got.. and the reply. I'm quite certain I won't get a reply.. I AM, after all.. DEAD... the proof is in the emails.
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT
(RESOLUTIONPANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT)
From: Mr. Chika Agunna
My name is Mr. Chika Agunna. I'm the personal secretary to the Governor
Central Bank of Nigeria, I'm directed to contact you by the Governor to
urgently confirm from you if actually you know one Peter Woo who claim
to be your business associate/ partner in Nigeria.
The said Mr. Peter Woo is claiming to us that you are dead and he will
like to change all the Informations that you gave to us as our bonafide
This development is coming now that the Ministry want to offset all your
outstanding payments to all our legal foreignbeneficiaries around the world in
your payment file was affected.
As you may know the total amount in your favor is a total sum of $15Million
We need to confirm from you if it's really true that you are dead and If we
did not hear from you it automatically means that you are actually dead and
the information passed to us by Mr. Peter Woo is correct.
You are to contact me through my email address as soon as you receive this
message so as to know the true position of things with you so that we would
not make any mistake in remitting your out-standing payment to a wrong
Your swift response will help this office of the Governor alot.Do email me
with your full names and direct phone number for an easy communication, your
age and occupation to this effect.
Mr. Chika Agunna
Secretary for: Governor Central Bank of Nigeria
I had just finished watching some of my Season 2 House MD DVDs.. and was in a bit of a mood.. so I replied.
Mr. Peter Woo, is an honest man. He speaks the truth. It is unfortunate, but I truly am dead. I died three and a half weeks ago of a horrible fungus which first infected my left toe nail and then moved into my leg, and finally into the rest of my body. There was a team of doctors on my case, and they worked diligently to save my life, but to no avail. I would like for the remaining balance of the $15million to be donated to the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, of New Jersey, in the name of Dr. Gregory House.
Thank you for your prompt attention in this matter, and for looking out for the interests of my deceased self.
Yours in the afterlife,
Sir/Madam James Robert Eric Lisa Wilson of Chase, Foreman and Cuddy.
Like I said, I'm sure this will be the end of it.. but who knows. I'll let ya know.
Sirius Jones Not quite a Newb
Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Location: Earth, or thereabout
Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:31 pm
Cute. And yeah, sometimes it feels good just to slap a mugu one time and move on to the next.
_________________ my friend are you mad i do not want you to reply this mail or i will call the god of thunder to strike you ok
i have told you not to play with me because i will send HOLY GHOST FIRE to you and your entire family and you will be burnt like the princess of baal .
Morrison "Big Mo" Ibekwe
I have been diagnosed with Cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine.
ProfaneCherub Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 21 Jul 2006
Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:37 pm
Apparently that was enough to satisfy him/her/them.. I've not heard anything back. How sad.
Loki Master Baiter
Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Location: 419 Fake Street
Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:05 pm
i couldnt say - to be honest i've never really tried slapping a mugu. sure ive messed with them, but to be honest i try and drag it all out as long as possible, i find it infinately more fun
_________________ "I am supposed to be panic over this matter but I did not because I feel to be free with you!" - Amina Zongo
"I have commited a series of murders all to make hell" - Evangelist Goodluck Jones
"You are a joker" Kazzy Wilson
"Please, NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN" Kazzy Wilson
"YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO BE MY TRUSTEE" - Charles Izekor
ProfaneCherub Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 21 Jul 2006
Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:02 pm
The premise of the first/only email was just so absurd... not that they all aren't.. but this one was just WAY WAY WAY out there.. "Ummm, pardon me.. but could you tell me if you are dead or not?" Being the smart ass that I am.. I had to do it.
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