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 Lad Poetry

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f_twain
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 24 Oct 2006
Posts: 15


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 11:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I've been baiting a lad for about nine months or so. We've been through all kinds of nonsense; negotiations regarding him building a runway so that I can fly in to pick up all of the gold that he is selling me, all kinds of Moneygram related shenanigans, blah blah blah.

I've recently managed to get him to turn his hand to poetry. My dog recently died from injuries sustained during a fight that broke out in a Moneygram office and I asked the lad to help me through the grieving process by aiding me in composing some poems in tribute to my beloved lost canine.

This arrived this morning. I warn you - it is extremely touching and you may find yourself weeping as you read it:

Quote:
IT IS LIKE MY LIFE

My pet,
The morning between my arms,
Midday at my side with the bed,
It oneself a small walk with him,
The night between my arms with the bed,
It is like my life.
When I fall sick,
It brings remedies to me.
When I am famished,
It brings to me to eat.
When I cry,
It sings and comforts me.
But at last!
Today it is not any more.
What will I become without loved one?
Heap of questions, frustration, unbearable hard blow,
The bitterness, the sleepless nights, the tears,
I felt to collapse around me all my goods,
I felt to break down around me nature. My heart felt vandalise,
My heart felt to violate,
My conscience felt to torture,
And greater open my spirit crosses burning fire.
Thirst requires water,
And only foolish of insane would go so far as to cross the desert without water.
I need water to cross the desert,
I need a guide to survive,
If not my life will not have any more a smell.
Listen to my cries of distress.


C'mon. Admit it. It brought a lump to the throat, no?
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dgloryhole
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 395
Location: i will never be the man my mother was


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 11:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

yep and one in my pants too lololol

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harrya
Elite Baiter


Joined: 23 Jul 2006
Posts: 1489
Location: Not Happy


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I did the logical thing and googled a few of the lines Shocked Shocked
Nothing.

Does this mean, no, no way Wink

The potential here is just great.

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Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5379
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

<br>
Quote:
When I am famished,
It brings to me to eat.
When I cry,
It sings and comforts me.


Aaah! the incredible singing waitering dog from Korea.

"Sing for your supper, bitch! Oh, sorry, you are my supper."

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dgloryhole
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 395
Location: i will never be the man my mother was


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

ask him to write a poem -the first line "there was a young lad from nantucket............"

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Zorro
419Eater is my life


Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 377
Location: In levitation


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You guys should really look for a deeper meaning - it is poetry after all, not football. Seek further and deeper within and you'll behold the rapturous yearning for the illusive mtcn

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Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes, you know he's crooked.

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
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f_twain
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Joined: 24 Oct 2006
Posts: 15


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
If not my life will not have any more a smell


Was a truer line ever written?

This lad blatently posesses the soul of a poet and by spending so much time in internet cafes in Togo he is denying the world of the fruits of his true calling.

I will be doing my best to redress this. My baiting character has a friend who works for the arts council and who is impressed by the lad's obvious raw talent and wants him to apply for one of their grants. He'd be a shoo-in, of course, and my friend could fix it that he'd get the grant as long as he submitted a portfolio of poems on subjects that I send to him...
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thud419
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3193


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I am truly impressed that he didn't mention the money once.

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Zorro
419Eater is my life


Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 377
Location: In levitation


PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Isn't this what he means? Laughing Laughing

Quote:
IT IS LIKE MY 419 LIFE
My maga,
The morning between my cyber cafes,
Midday at my side with the email,
It oneself a small risky free talk with him,
The night between my computer with the bed,
It is like my 419 life.
When I have my dolla chopped,
It brings tears to me.
When I am scamming,
It brings to me to dolla.
When I try,
It pays and comforts me.
But at last!
Today it is not any more.
What will I become without loved mtcn?
Heap of questions, frustration, unbearable hard blow,
The bitterness, the sleepless nights, the tears,
I felt to collapse around me all my hopes,
I felt to break down around me nature. My heart felt vandalise,
My heart felt to violate,
My conscience felt to torture,
And greater open my spirit crosses burning fire.
Thirst requires dolla,
And only foolish of insane would go so far as to cross the desert without water.
I need mg to cross the desert,
I need a maga to survive,
If not my life will not have any more a smell.
Listen to my cries of distress.

_________________
Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes, you know he's crooked.

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
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sellingrich
Master Baiter


Joined: 13 Oct 2006
Posts: 247
Location: Far East LA


PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I could imagine "IT IS LIKE MY 419 LIFE" being performed in a beatnik coffee bar with a guy plucking a bass, a little snare drum, and a dude snapping his fingers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8UQfNrfiiU

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Mr kelvin Jordon that call you from our branch office in canada explain that the chicken background voice has been querried, claiming the voice was his telephone ringing tone, therefore accept my deepest appology for that.
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Jervis Tetch
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 05 Feb 2007
Posts: 669
Location: Cape HATteras


PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 11:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

hi f-twain--welcome aboard--

The sad lad poetry reply just seems too awful for him to have stolen it from somewhere, as lads are wont to do. He might well have made it all up;--And in the end, when you nuke him, give him a snog on originality.

Now tell him you JUST lost your beloved XPN$V koi goldfish--'Goldie'-- too. Wink It might shock you what the prices for koi go for.

BTW, I congratulate you on baiting this mugu for 9 months so far, as you say, if I got that right.

cheerz--jervis tetch/ mad hatter

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What a FUCK, for doing this i will make sure by tomorrow i will be in Washington and send the FBI to pick you up where ever you are by all means just believe i must do this and use it as a prove that i am who i am. I give you just 1 hour to take my passport out from that page or eles when i get to Washington there will be no forgiveness just take my word. I will send all boxes and documents covering the boxes in your name to Washington and you will be asked so many question and if possible you will go to Jail with my power i PROMISE I MUST DO IT.
His Excellency Ambassador Dr. Kwame Bawuah-Edusei
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f_twain
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 24 Oct 2006
Posts: 15


PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 1:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You did get it right, Jervis, thanks. It's been nine beautiful months and if he goes for my Arts Council grant I'm hoping for nine more. We've been through a lot together, me and this lad. Characters have died. Dollars have been chopped. And yet he won't give up...

I originally only asked him to help me finish the poem that I had written for my dog. I told him that I couldn't come up with a final verse and needed his help. Then I sent him a copy of the lyrics to "Love & Pride" by crappy 80s pop band, King, and asked him to finish it off. The results were pretty subpar so I asked him to have another go and - voila - he sends me the above poem.

He tells me that his wife and daugher helped him. He credited it to his whole family.

I so want to believe that's true...
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Jervis Tetch
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 05 Feb 2007
Posts: 669
Location: Cape HATteras


PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

hi again f_twain^

9 more is admirable-- and to quote the great Chicago Cub Ernie Banks--"let's play two!".. But remember too that it can all fall apart faster than a Beijing-built motorcycle in the blink of an eye. In any case you have strung along your mugu that much so far, which is admirable indeed.

_________________
What a FUCK, for doing this i will make sure by tomorrow i will be in Washington and send the FBI to pick you up where ever you are by all means just believe i must do this and use it as a prove that i am who i am. I give you just 1 hour to take my passport out from that page or eles when i get to Washington there will be no forgiveness just take my word. I will send all boxes and documents covering the boxes in your name to Washington and you will be asked so many question and if possible you will go to Jail with my power i PROMISE I MUST DO IT.
His Excellency Ambassador Dr. Kwame Bawuah-Edusei
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dgloryhole
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 395
Location: i will never be the man my mother was


PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

lads lads everywhere
sitting in cafes in their underwear
setting fire to each others hair
lads lads everywhere

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wert411
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Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 14
Location: Bristol, NH, USA


PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have a strange feeling he did not write that himself. Wink
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dgloryhole
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 395
Location: i will never be the man my mother was


PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i did too

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