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 Didn't get the trophy, but it's amazing the abuse they take

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Sirius Jones
Not quite a Newb

Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 62
Location: Earth, or thereabout

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 6:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From: [email protected]
> Subject: Reply
> Date: Wed, 20 Jun 2007 04:20:26 +0000
> Reply
> FROM: Wang HongZhang
> Email:[email protected]
> I am Mr. Wang HongZhang, Chief Disciplinary Officer,
> People's Bank of China (PBC),I have an obscured business
> proposal of US$24.5million for you.
> Please get back at me,if you are interested.
> Your earliest response to this letter will be
> appreciated.
> Kind Regards,
> Wang HongZhang

Sounds good! Tell me more....

Quido" <[email protected]> #28155;#21152;#21040;#22320;#22336;#31807;
#25220;#36865;: [email protected]
#26085;#26399;: Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:58:54 -0400 (EDT)

My Dear Mr. Wang:

Greetings from the Fellowship of the Church of the Subgenius. Your plea for business assistance has reached us and we have every intention of lending our support. At your earliest convenience, please provide details of this $24m business proposal.

Yours in Slack,
The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DBS

On Wed 06/20, wang zang < [email protected] > wrote:
From: wang zang [mailto: [email protected]]
To: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007 04:40:33 +0800 (CST)

Dear Friend,
Thanks for your response and i appreciate your interest,my business proposal is that. Before the U.S and Iraqi war,a client of Bank of China, Khazeal Hamood Hasaab a Merchant made a numbered fixed deposit valued at $24,500,000.00 (Twenty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars), for 18 calendar months, at Bank of China, Tower Branch, 1 Garden Road Hong Kong. Upon maturity several notices were sent to him, even during the war which began in 2003. Again, after the war another notification was sent, but still no response came from him. It was later found out that Mr Khazeal Hamood Hasaab, his wife and two sons had been killed during the war.
After further investigation, it was also discovered that Mr Khazeal did not declare any next of kin in his official papers, including the paperwork of his bank deposit. He also confided, in the Chief Risk Officer, Bank of China (BOCHK), that no one knew of his deposit in the bank. According to the laws of my country, at the expiration of 4years and 6 months such funds are reverted to the Peoples Bank Of China (PBC), where it will be deposited in the reserve of the Government, if nobody applies to claim it. Due to the fact that the fund has been in the bank for more than four years, provisions are being made for it to be reverted to my Bank (PBC). When the case was presented at my desk, I contacted the risk officer(BOCHK), who is a good friend of mine and gathered all the information that I have presented to you. Against this backdrop, I will like you, as a foreigner, to stand as next of kin to Khazeal Hamood Hasaab, so that we can receive his funds.
I want you to know that there is no risk involved. We have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have contacted an attorney who will prepare the necessary documentS that will back you up as the next of kin to Khazeal Hamood Hasaab. All that is required from you, at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names, private phone/fax and current residential address, so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the
attorney will also file for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favour for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you. Please endeavour to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Should you be interested I shall provide you with more details on this operation.
Expecting to hear from you.
Wang HongZhang

OMG….such a tragedy! What can I do to help this poor man?

My Dear Friend Mr. Wang,
Firstly, allow me to express condolences on behalf of the Church of the Subgenius and the entire Raelian Society for the loss of your business associate, Khazeel Hamood Hasaab. So many innocent lives have been lost in The War that my brothers and I must regularly purge our bowels with rosewater and gin in our grief. What has this Planet allowed itself to become?
Secondly, Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) expresses His Welcome to you as a new associate, and would have me ask, exactly what are the Functions of a Chief Disciplinary Officer of the Peoples?Bank of China? Do you purge bank workers who fail do live up to their responsibilities? Do you apply corporal punishment toborrowers who are tardy with their payments? Please elaborate.
Finally, please know that although $24,500,000 is but a drop in the ocean to our Accounts, Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) fully desires to assist you in your Time of Need.
However, before you can be made One with our Blessed Financial Instruments, you must be willing to become One with The Body of the Subgenius and the Raelian Society.
Are you prepared to proceed and prosper?

Yours in Slack,
The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DBS,
The Church of the Subgenius
The Raelian Society

--- On Thu 06/21, wang zang < [email protected] > wrote:
From: wang zang [mailto: [email protected]]
To: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007 23:18:59 +0800 (CST)
Subject: REPLY

Thanks, i appreciate your sincere condolence to Mr Khazeel Hamood Hassab and family
But allow me be candid about this business which we intend partnering into.With regards to me becoming a member that certainly not a problem,it becomes a problem when the true nature of worship does not tally with the laws of my land.There are some bodies that tends to apply violence to and condemn others forms of worship to which i think,if that is the case i may not be a part of it.I hope think yours is not the case here,sorry to have said this,with all due respect i beg to be pardoned if i am crossing my lines.
Furthermore,i would want us in due course to deliberate more on it,since we would be partners and we have alot more to share.Experience,spirituality and others that would be too numerous to mention at this very point.So i want to be sure of your total commitment and deligent follow up to the actualisation of this course,Once again i say thank you.

Mr Wang
Sirius Jones #20889;#36947;#65306;

Sounds like the kind of guy The Church needs…..OK, let’s start working towards some Pictures of Faith…..

My Dear Friend Mr. Wang:

Thank you for your gracious correspondence and the refreshing honesty it contains. I am truly enthused that I may be able to assist you in your Time of Need.

Have no fear; neither the Church of the Subgenius not the Raelian Society are subversive in nature. We have no political agenda, and deplore violence for any and all reasons. Rather, think of us as the Divine Cosmic Organ of Spiritual Love (although our French brethren have recently begun to explore its more Physical Manifestations), Students of the Blissful Peace through the Mysteries of Slack. We embrace all Faiths as Equal Seekers of Truth, although The Designers have enlightened us to Our True Nature through Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name).

However, as I am acting on behalf of the Society, rather than of myself, I must insist that certain criteria be met before we can proceed.

My DearMr. Wang, my Brethren in Slack R'Haudi Randy Riddleberger has written that the two-headed serpent may slither only a single vector, and that the Subgenius must have Slack. On this basis, before I can invoke the Immeasurable Power of Our Blessed Financial Instruments on your behalf, Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) insists upon a simple Token of Acceptance on your behalf. Without this, there can be no Harmonious Transaction, no Fiscal Unification of our Divergent Currencies, no Frothiness upon the Transvictualistic Inebriation.

If you can consider this basic Leap of Faith, please state so in your next communication.

Yours in Slack,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DBS,
The Church of the Subgenius
The Raelian Society

And what do I get for my generous offer? A lousy form letter!

--- On Fri 06/22, wang zang < [email protected] > wrote:
From: wang zang [mailto: [email protected]]
To: [email protected]
Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2007 04:07:01 +0800 (CST)
Subject: #22238;#22797;#65306; RE: REPLY

Thank you very much for your response, and your interest in this transaction.
Like I said earlier, due to the issue at hand, it became necessary for me to
seek your assistance. I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project. I actually got your email from my country's chamber of commerce and industry yellow pages, when I was in need of a foreign partner to help me in this transaction. I had to apply this method because, I am not supposed to have had any ties with the person to be next of kin, in order not to arouse suspicions. With regards to the legality of this transaction; I must let you know that this transaction is risk free,it shall be done in accordance with banking Laws and regulations, My Attorney shall handle the entire documentations, he shall be responsible for drafting and notarisation of the Affidavits which shall put you in place as my deceased client's next of kin. He would handle all matters of probate on your behalf. Remember that my late client did not declare any next of kin and confided in me that know one new of the money, for reasons he never disclosed to me.
Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that it needs your commitment and diligent follow up. If we work seriously. The entire transaction should be over in a couple of days. We will share as follows; 70% for me and 30% for you. Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands,
I want to remind you that it needs your commitment and diligent follow up. If we work seriously, the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days, and we shall share in the ratio of 70% for me and 30% for you. I want to let you know that I will takecare of all expenses here,
ranging from charges at the probate registry, attorney charges, transfer charges amongst others. Your only obligation in this transaction is to stand as next of kin to my late client and open the accounts to which the money will be transferred. The only expense you might encounter will be with bank minimum deposit or activation charges, which i trust that you should be able to handle

Firstly, I want to know the type of occupation that you do and how old you are. You should note that this project is highly capital intensive this is why I have to be very careful; I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not meet before, but I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project. Before I commence, I will need you to send me a copy of any form of identification (Drivers licence or International passport), your full names, address and phone number. I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person. This will also be a reflection of your commitment to this project. As soon as I get these from you, I will commence the paper work that will back up this transaction. I hope you will understand why I need all these. The money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project. I will attach my international passport to you after I have seen yours for your perusal and trust. Ensure that you keep this project confidential because of the nature of this transaction and my work.Please reply soonest.

Mr wang

Alright, Wang…..that’s not the response I want. I don’t need to hear the scam twice. Let’s nudge you to a little action here…..

Mr. Wang:

Perhaps, due to a language barrier I have failed to make the position of The Subgenius clear to you. Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) has instructed me to attempt to Bring You to the Light one last time.

A sum of $150,000 has been set aside in your name to assist you in your Time of Need.

We feel this sum should be adequate to provide for the transaction expenses you are likely to incur.

However, before you will be allowed to collect these monies, you must provide photographic proof of your willingness at a future date to Explore the Mysteries of Slack as given by the Elohim to Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name).

This is not subject to negotiation.

What we require is a simple photograph of you demonstrating an Understanding of the Divine Slack, which is, simply stated, a willingness to Relax the Body (and thus Relax the Soul), combined with the Realization that the Flesh is Temporary and Not to be Taken Seriously.

In your next communication, please Accept our Offer of Assistance ($150,000) by requesting the Required Content of the Photograph of Acceptance. Any thing less than that will be regarded as an unfortunate Refusal of the Assistance of the Subgenius.

Yours in Slack,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DBS,
The Church of the Subgenius
The Raelian Society

Looks like we got his attention here…………much better attitude from Mr. Wang.

--- On Sat 06/23, wang zang < [email protected] > wrote:
From: wang zang [mailto: [email protected]]
To: [email protected]
Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2007 19:49:21 +0800 (CST)
Subject: REPLY

I am happy to inform to you that i scurfed the net to see about the content of your website.It seems to me that your movement is absolutely different from others,and has a unique background of and for the promotion of peace and restoring of human dignity to people that has been placed under harsh and dehumanised conditions of life. Please allow me to say this i am really into it,supporting the less privileged and assisting people that would be of fianancial constraints.
But you made mention of a photographic proof of willingness[what exactly do you mean],i also would want to know what exactly you would be needing from me,to these effect.


Yes, I imagine once you "scurfed" to the site about how the Alien Designers took Rael aboard their ship, it DID seem like a somewhat unique perspective….let me show you just how unique we are.

To: [email protected]
Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2007 09:07:05 -0400
Subject: RE: REPLY

My Dear Friend and Brother Mr. Wang,
So delighted am I to read of your preliminary acceptance of the Word of the Elohim as given to Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) that I have spent the last few hours celebrating in intimacy with the Sacred Ewe. Slack be praised!
As The Designers have taught us, our species must always seek to Relax the Body, and thus Relax the Soul, as they are Intertwined. This is one of the Mysteries of Slack. Further, because the Flesh is Temporary, it is Not to be Taken Seriously, another primary tenet of the Word of the Elohim.
Therefore, the Photographic Demonstration of Acceptance should illustrate these concepts. A traditional Demonstration includes the following elements:
1. The Initiate (in this case, you).
2. The Initiate should be dressed to demonstrate both Relaxation and Frivolity. The Standard for this would require a brightly colored swim suit (for Frivolity) and bedroom slippers of a very fuzzy nature (for Relaxation of Body and Soul). It is also highly recommended that a large, wide-brimmed hat be worn to Illustrate the Manner of Arrival of the Designers.
3. The Initiate should paint clearly on his torso the Reason he desires to become United with the Great Fiscal Organ of Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name). In your case, the words “I’m Slack for my Jack” would be both appropriate and somewhat poetic.
4. The Photograph should be taken at an outside location. A public park would be ideal to the Mysteries of Slack, Relaxation and Frivolity.
Please note that the Photographic Demonstration of Acceptance must be clear, must plainly show the Initiate’s face, and must be presented to the Society in a format large enough to be easily viewed.
Upon receipt and successful inspection of the Photograph, it will be the Pleasure of the Subgenius to instruct our attorneys Dewey, Cheatham and Howe to contact the Felonious National Bank for release to you the sum of $150,000 held in your name.
As you have stated, time is of the essence in your dealings with the Peoples’ Bank of China, so please Do Not Delay your actions in producing the required photograph.

Yours in Slack,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DBS,
The Church of the Subgenius
The Raelian Society

Uh 0h……no response. Was it that hard to find a camera? Or was it the fuzzy slippers?

My Dear Brother in Slack Mr. Wang,

Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) asks me to contact you one last time on Behalf of the Church of the Subgenius and the Raelian Society.

In His sweet Name, I have reserved a sum of $150,000 for your use in pursuing the Transaction with the Peoples' Bank of China, asking only that you demonstrate your willingness to be Led into the Light. Yet, we have not had any indication from you that you wish to draw from the Prophet's immense Financial Organ.

Are you well?

Please contact us at once. If you desire our aid, please inform us. If you have decided to Reject the Blissful Travesty of Slack, please inform us so that we may Disburse Our Seed of Knowledge to Others in Need.

Yours in Slack,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DBS,
The Church of the Subgenius
The Raelian Society

Finally, my spiritual brother replies! Oh, blessed relief!

--- On Thu 06/28, wang zang < [email protected] > wrote:
From: wang zang [mailto: [email protected]]
To: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:27:05 +0800 (CST)
Subject: »Ø¸´£º RE: REPLY

I am in receipt of your mail,i sent you a mail few days ago,it could be that you didnt get it.
I am presently on a travel mission by my bank to the singapore,but i must grave your indulgence to fact that i may not the needing your 150,000usd ,i am not joing the movement for the sake of money,i want to join because am deeply in love with it .please i am a straight forward person when it comes to every sphere of life.
But all i would be needing from you is by standing as the next of kin to the decesed client, and in opening a bank account with the finance house bank in the Uk,or SPAIN that has the same banking telex type and co-ordinae with my bank so that when the money has been transfered into this account that you have opened from there you will be in full possession of this funds from hence forth i would then be subjected to come down directly to perform the slack iniative of the photograhic essentials.
What i am doing here is in fact the best way i can declare how willing and truthful i can be by leaving such of an amount that i have spent more 165,000usd for.
I hope you understand my point in this regard.I am happy to share this news to you,that i would retiring in six[6] months time from there i believe i have to change my residence by coming close to you and the movement.

My family and i would be greatly involved,i could then proceed in getting my 70% of what i have spent a huge fortune for.
Please lets work out this this package on time,brother.
Thank you
Mr Wang

I don’t believe it! This little Mugu-of-the East is hitting me up for more money!! I'm starting to like this guy!!

My Dear Brother In the Travesty of Slack Mr. Wang

I praise Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) that you have replied to us, for we feared that Evil had befallen you in your Quest for the Blissful Slack of the Designers. Truly, so overjoyed am I that I feel a Need to Commune with the Sacred Ewe once again.

However, there is a Darkness that invades my Soul since I have learned of the Tragic Financial Delusion that you are suffering. My Brother, there was never a Need for you to submit your diminutive Financial Organ to the ravages of the Unholy Circumcision you have suffered in pursuit of your goal, when the Church of the Subgenius is so much better Endowed.

Our Illustrious Prophet Rael (Praise His sweet Name) has instructed me to deposit a Sum of $265,000 into an account with Banc Sabadell of Spain, to both Restore your shriveled Financial Organ to its previous diminutive state, and to provide to you a Measure of Liquidity should you find yourself again in Need of capital.

You have proven your honesty and capriciousness to us through your willingness to carry the burden thus far. All we ask in return, once again, is that you submit to the Church of the Subgenius/Raelian Society for debasing inspection and ludicrous approval the Photographic Demonstration of Willingness to learn the Divine Mysteries of Blissful Slack.

This must happen, for it is written, "Until one spreads his wings like the mighty penguin, one has no idea how far he must walk."

Please, My Brother in Slack, respond favorably in the near future.

Yours in Slack,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DBS,
The Church of the Subgenius
The Raelian Society

Lesson: Never insult a mugu’s manhood. I never heard from Wang again. Oh well, on to the next bait.

If any of you are planning a trip to China could you apologize to him for me? Here’s his info:
person: Peter Wang
nic-hdl: PW270-AP
e-mail: *************
address: 6F, Heqiao north tower, #8 Guanghua east rd.,chaoyang
address: Beijing, P.R.China 100026
phone: +86-010-65985220
fax-no: +86-010-65985401
country: CN
changed: **** 20070404
source: APNIC


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