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 My Most Devout Church Member Ever Returns

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JMRazor
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Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
Location: Yes


PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My two lads, Ch1gozie and Henry have been through quite a bit in the name of L1FESON. They've filled out countless forms, created and worn their Holy Togas, rented office space for the local church branch, gotten tattoos, and been to the airport in S. Africa (twice) to meet the corrupt Pastor Zaur1n who stole 90% of the Church's money -- all for naught I might add. After all this they were beginning to doubt me Wink but through careful prayer, my good friend Henry has had his faith restored, in large part because I sent him the following picture of his dear Pastor Lea in his full Church regalia (props to macweasel for the chop):

Image

Henry was so moved, he had the following things to say:

Quote:
Hallo Pastor Lea this a long time now you have not here from us and we have not here from you hopefully that all the things is moving well,
Pastor in the receipt of your email you sent to my brother Chigozie I saw your picture and I am very well understood the situation and I do believe that this is real.

Pastor I have being into a very big stresses over here because I did see that my Account is being on hold and I rand to my Bank to know why that my Account is on hold I was told that this Account is being giving out whit a swift cod for an international transaction whish called 419, So for this reassign I can not be operate whit this my Account any moor [Oops. Twisted Evil].

Pastor I feel frustration in my life sense then I always have a slip less night all this pass days and I was saying to ma self that this is what I have put my self into in this world, but pastor Lea I can see your picture standing whit another brother from the Church of Barchetta Rouge. In these kais I think I believe that this is true that this man so called pastor Zaurin rand away whit our church money. Because I can now believe that I am doing things whit people that are human beings by seeing this picture and this already as scrim saver in computer because I am very happy to see this picture.

Pastor if this is true that this man pastor Zaurin is here in Africa, I can tell the church to forget about him because he knows very well what he is doing, Zaurin sent email that he is coming to South Africa sordidly he start righting on useless email to me that says that he is thanking me about sending him a good people that well came him at the Airport, I told him Pastor Zaurin if this is true that you are here in S/A do not believe any one that comes to you, and please call me on my cell phone number so that I will know were you are or send me the Hotel telephone number or Address but he did not do that sordidly he start telling me that he is gone to Cap town, after that I resave an email that that there neija boys that I should stop righting email to pastor Zaurin.

So my advice to the church is that the church should not listing to that man first because he is a betrayal to the Church so I think that the church should look forward to there major problems about new members.
And now I always have a problem whit bro Chigozie because he is saying that I make him to initiate him self in a church that dos not care about the members, when I join this Church I was always happy, and I use to be proud because I always think that I am in a right way were to lay my foot an put my foundation In HIS name. but now I am confuse, so please get back to me and tell me what to do.

In HIS NAME.


Oh my dear brother, I have so much to teach you....but perhaps a new baptism would be in order. After all, he did try to meet with that criminal Pastor Z4urin to "hold onto" the stolen funds... Wink

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Red
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Joined: 25 May 2007
Posts: 2543
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Perhaps you should engage the bounty hunter modality and tell him that to prove his faith to the church he should correct what was done to the church and hunt down Pastor Z. You could add that the local authorities have placed a reward for any information leading to his arrest!

I can't believe, after those airport visits and involvement of the naija boyz, he's still back in the fold. Brilliant!
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B. A. Ware
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Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 1828
Location: I've fallen and I can't reach my beer.


PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

JMR,

If he wants "something for nothing" then it's time for him to make a "passage to bangkok". Wink I wonder how many people will get this

BTW I love the gold medallion Very Happy
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Doctor X
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 766


PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@JMRazor

The pictures in the links in your signature do not seem to be "there" anymore. Are they someplace else?

Thanks,

--J.D.

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וגם־אני נתתי להם חקים לא טובים ומשפטים לא יחיו בהם
ואטמא אותם במתנותם בהעביר כל־פטר רחם למען אשםם למען אשר ידעו אשר אני יהוה
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JMRazor
Baiting Guru


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
Location: Yes


PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good catch Doctor -- I fixed the links and the pics for the "body art" are back now. I have to work on one of the others.

@BA - I know, that is such a sweet medallion I'm thinking of joining the Church myself. Wink

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____________________________ pony Pretty Prancing Pink Pony Master pony _____________________________

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Doctor X
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^Thanks! Good fun seeing those!

Of course you will need to confirm that their tattoos are still there . . . and if they have "faded" they "may" have to get them redone!

--J.D.

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ואטמא אותם במתנותם בהעביר כל־פטר רחם למען אשםם למען אשר ידעו אשר אני יהוה
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