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forum.419eater.com Forum Index » GENERAL CHAT |
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Reprob8
DIGITALIS MAXIMUS
Joined: 20 Sep 2004
Posts: 1794
Location: At the Pharmacy
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Posted:
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:33 pm |
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So I go to this wedding and reception on saturday night. Because I'm an obnoxious turd, I wore my kilt. Because I was wearing my kilt, I felt obligated to drink Scotch - LOTS of it. I'm sitting in a toasty vicodin/scotch state of mind during the portion of the reception where the bride tosses her bouquet. She closed her eyes, spun around a few times and tossed it - it landed right on my lap. I was forced to pose with the bride, holding the bouquet as the next "bride to be". Now I find out the pictures from the wedding will be posted on a website, available for purchase next week. I'm humiliated. |
_________________ Boycott Shampoo..Demand REAL Poo
I LOVE THIS CLIP !
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lotta
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 13613
Location: 2 Speckled Cct Springfield Lakes QLD 4300
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Posted:
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:36 pm |
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_________________ <a href="/forum/donate.php">[Click here to donate to 419Eater.com]</a> Lead Support Contact for Missing Posts - (pm me)
bank kills
Alan James Watson (AKA Bi Gal, AKA Big Al, AKA De Master Yoda) -2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 "Doos of the year" award winner
Frederick Fokker:
"I am giving you about a month to get your act together, i am cutting you and the eater a bit of slack"
Dec 11, 2007
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:42 pm |
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persephone
Baiting Guru
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 2846
Location: land of cloggies
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Posted:
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:46 pm |
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erm, R8..........since the piccies will be on the net anyways, no harm in a copy/paste here |
_________________ a strange idiot tracked you down on arrival you moved with him like a christmas goat to a strange hell hotel and gave him paper or what you call money my ass. - J3ff Rich4rds
14 months and counting
I HAVE SEEN THAT YOU LOVE DOG SEX, LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU CAN COME TO AFRICA I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOTEL EXPENSES AT LEAST TO SATISFY THE DOG'S URGE - some banker
loads
x46 3x 2x 2x 2x 3x 9x 3x 2x 4 days of travel - 7 days stuck in airport |
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windypops
Baiting Guru
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 6059
Location: Planet X
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Posted:
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:54 pm |
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Is R8 still using that old excuse!
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_________________ "No amount of semen donation will save this situation" Sanny Sanny
"We must disagree to agree" Raji Musa
If it's LADS you want. GoTo: http://www.yopmail.com/
and sign in with either ladmail or kentbrockman
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Reprob8
DIGITALIS MAXIMUS
Joined: 20 Sep 2004
Posts: 1794
Location: At the Pharmacy
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Posted:
Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:00 pm |
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They're not there ...yet. Here's one with me dancing with my favorite niece. A sure sign I'm tanked - I'm dancing.
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_________________ Boycott Shampoo..Demand REAL Poo
I LOVE THIS CLIP !
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windypops
Baiting Guru
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 6059
Location: Planet X
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:15 am |
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I've put a stop to spam from banks in my own country by using the mail preference service, but I still get banks and loan companies from abroad sending me partially filled in, C/C and loan applications forms.
So, apart from spam and slack bar staff, I'm quite happy with my lot. |
_________________ "No amount of semen donation will save this situation" Sanny Sanny
"We must disagree to agree" Raji Musa
If it's LADS you want. GoTo: http://www.yopmail.com/
and sign in with either ladmail or kentbrockman
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:19 pm |
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Tommo's daily bitch...
1. Incompetent suicide bombers. Why didn't you practice blowing you and your 2,000 virgins up at home before backpacking on the underground?
2. Anybody that uses the word "kinda". I guess, I'm kinda picky like that.
3. Village chavs that congregate smoking fags behind the local petrol station. Prime Darwin Award candidates, hopefully.
4. Stag parties. Sorry your fancy dress, vomiting and SHOUTING isn't funny. Piss off to Prague.
5. Hen parties [see 4 above]
6. My local supermarket that stick more expensive goods in place of cheaper ones on the shelf but leave the cheaper price ticket in place. Robbing b*stards.
I'm in a good mood today Lotta, so only 6....so far... |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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jojobean
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
Location: YOU WILL DRINK YOUR URINE IN A COMERCIAL BUS
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:23 pm |
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1. Tommo's daily list of ramblings.
I'm just kidding Tommo, I enjoy them. |
_________________
Christ Ghana-Chad
Miracle Benin-Chad
Omar Edo-Abeche
Adamu Lagos-Abeche
Emi - S Africa-Egypt-Sudan 10k miles
Chris Dakar-Niger-BF-Cameroon-Lagos-Mali-Nairobi 9.6k miles
Kevin Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 5k miles x 6
Kenny 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
Ben 2.5k miles
Misc Germany-Holland, Atlanta, Beijing-ChangZhou, London-Glasgow, TIMBUKTU x 2 |
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TheGreatOok
Catbingo
Joined: 25 May 2007
Posts: 2355
Location: Lost in L-Space
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:25 pm |
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Tommo, do you need a hug?
I am with Jojo, I love reading them and agree with a lot of them. |
_________________ For Free Bananas Click Here!
HYIP: x3 Banks:
Samuel - Ziguinchor, SE to Dakar, SE - 264 km through Gambia Helping JojoBean
"I knew rigth from the first time you sent email to me that,you are a bloody *DELETED*" - Sgt Daniel Vess
"I NO BLAME U NA DI DIRTY TOTO WEN BORN U NA IM I BLAME. CATBINGO" - Lee Wong
"I AM EQUAL TO A MENTAL RETARDED PERSON" - Alvan Ben
"You have pushed me to the wall and i will make you smell yourself i bet." - George Martins
"THE FOOL STOLE YOUR US$755, HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO LEAVE ON THE PLANET" - Jim Ovia
- for a perfect brown nosing job.
x4 |
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Reprob8
DIGITALIS MAXIMUS
Joined: 20 Sep 2004
Posts: 1794
Location: At the Pharmacy
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:09 pm |
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My ex-wife, the ball-busting hellbeast with no soul. I pay the horrible slag $950/mo for child support, I pay for my kids medical insurance and cover all of the deductible, this month I shelled out $850 for cheerleading fees, $350 for cheerleading camp, $237 for cheerleading tumbling classes, $600 for eye exam and new contacts, $300 for new summer clothes, and I always give my daughter 40 bucks every Friday so she can go out with her friends and have gas for her car. And my unreasonable bitch-face ex-wife has the nerve to be pissed off because I'm having a poker/MXC party with some guys this Friday night and I told her I would prefer my daughter stay at her house that night because I would prefer my daughter not to be exposed to that environment. My daughter has never seen me drunk, or having a drink, for that matter. God, I love to hate that witch. |
_________________ Boycott Shampoo..Demand REAL Poo
I LOVE THIS CLIP !
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Harry Bawls
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 1310
Location: Somewhere, nowhere, everywhere
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:38 pm |
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@R8 I know this is a bitch thread, and I'm not really bitching now, (sorry TS) but the one thing I have learned from experience is that when the kids get some age on them they will remember all that you did. It sucks for you now, but you will be rewarded in the future. Just always let them know that you are there for them.
Edit: Just to make it legal, I will bitch about the pesky people who call me at work while I am trying to post on eater. |
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DarkKnight
Master Baiter
Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 137
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:46 pm |
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1) Chelsea tractor drivers on narrow country roads who force you to into the hedge/muddy verge because they don't want to get their f***ing shiny 4X4 dirty. ITS WHAT THEIR F***ING MADE FOR.
2) Town people who move to the country and then complain about the mess that animals make and the smell. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT F**K OFF BACK TO THE CITY.
I feel better now.
DK. |
_________________ UR FAMILLIES ARE THIEF - Tolu Adekunle
F**k you ever you call your self,go to hell,scum bag,ash hole dude you are and die for ever,your days have been counter at AGULU SHRINE - Anayo |
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:42 pm |
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Poor tommo!
I'll make a deal with ya. If you promise to change you underwear everyday then I will never use "kinda" again on this forum. Maybe the rest of ya'll can come up with a way for tommo to prove it, if he makes the deal.
Tell me that you are a single man.
@reprob8,
Get rid of that avatar in that pic. |
_________________
x? x?
Free Pastor Frank
An Eater's Sweetheart Safari |
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 6:43 pm |
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Sorry if this has turned into Tommo's daily rant thread.
I'm not really as angry or miserable as people may think. I'm worse!
Only kidding.
Thanks to jojo, TGH and corona for your concern.
If there was a happy thread I would be more than willing to contribute.
Tommo. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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Craig007
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 3123
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:17 pm |
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^^ That could be arranged |
_________________ CAN VISA BE GIVING IN THE PLANE? YOUR QUEEN ELIZABETH CAN NOT TAKE VISA IN THE PLANE,TALKLESS OF YOU - WILLIAM PAUL
x7
Wulugu or Bust Safari- Lagos, Nigeria to Paga, Ghana and Tokwari, Ghana X2-3800mi. "I'm leaving this bullshit area"
- Accra to Cotonou - 430 miles
100% RISK FREE TRANSACTION
CHERRIE MENTOR PROGRAM |
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remmy223
Elite Baiter
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 1734
Location: butt f*** middle of nowhwere
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:23 pm |
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that would be a good one.
bitching about being happy
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_________________ x 356
bike shop
you are bauitfull i will show the picture to my kid
Death man walking.
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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Craig007
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 3123
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:26 pm |
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iMike
Elite Baiter
Joined: 21 Jan 2005
Posts: 1371
Location: Ministry of Serendipity
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:00 pm |
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NHS time wasting.
Daughter 2 dislocated her kneecap. Between the 2 girls, that's 14 times in 6 years, so we're used to the routine.
1. Triage nurse can't/won't authorise an x-ray.
2. Sit in A & E until Doc available.
3. Get to see Doc - Doc won't do anything until she's had an x-ray.
4. Doc authorises x-ray - sit for considerable time waiting for radiology.
5. X-ray taken - back to A & E to wait until Doc available again.
6. Doc looks at x-ray, prods knee & sends for nurse to provide support dressing.
If she'd gone for x-ray straight away, we could have missed out 2-4 saving us & doc considerable time. Luckily, A & E wasn't too busy today. Wifey & daughter got there around 10:15am, back home for 12:40.
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_________________ --
x2
"you have luke worm in your brain" - Ekaetta Bello
"invite me to your country and let me clearify your legitimacy asshole" - Mose5 Uzem3
"the transfer was not authorized due to my persistent double mind" - Clement Wank
"this is not the time to play planks" - Mack Anthony
WIFI PDA - post while you dump
SAY 'NO' TO GAS STORAGE!
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[FREE LAPHROAIG]</a> |
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Dolores
419Eater is my life
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 356
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Posted:
Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:10 pm |
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Very long-winded rant time!
I've been trying to get a job for a while now, and it is extremely important that I get one soon. I was at a job fair several weeks ago and was approached by a lady representing a sort of employment agency, and she told me about how the place has a 97% success rate for getting clients into steady, long-term employment and blah blah blah. Sounded good, so I decided to give it a try.
It's almost like I've been baited. I went in 3-5 times a week for a few weeks in a row to take, of all things, personality tests to "see what kind of work I want" (why I can't just tell them, I don't know). After that, there were a few tests on math and English skills, and then I had to bring a shipload of documentation for various things. FINALLY they said I had everything ready, and we could start! Yay! They said they'd call me on Monday of this week to let me know when to come in again.
Well, they didn't call on Monday, so I called them yesterday to find out what was going on. I was told that I didn't have all of the documentation after all. It would have been nice if they'd at least called to tell me that, but I'll let it slide.
Almost as an afterthought, they mentioned that they decided to reject me anyway because my math and English test scores were too high. Apparently, I'm overqualified for them. Amazingly, that does NOT translate into having an ability to get a job very easily (or even an ability not to be a dumbass), it seems.
That was a lovely waste of several weeks I didn't exactly have free to spare. They say I have a second chance if I bring in a note from my former psychiatrist saying they should accept me, but I think I just want to perhaps just look for jobs now. |
_________________ I was mad with the deceit and conning of the Bello of a man. - Mens4h K0fi |
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Stoker Thompson
419Eater is my life
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 271
Location: Out There.
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Posted:
Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:00 am |
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Tommo Shanter wrote: |
Tommo's daily bitch...
4. Stag parties. Sorry your fancy dress, vomiting and SHOUTING isn't funny. Piss off to Prague.
5. Hen parties [see 4 above]
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Since I live, part time, in the next Capitol over (Big secret begins with a B) I'd have to say that Stag parties with the groom dressed up like Tinker bell vomiting on himself would have to make my whine list.
#2, Willful Stupidity; To fully understand all of the nuances of that statement you would have to work it IT supporting underpaid and under qualified staff. I could site many many examples but suffice to say that when I read stats about 419'ers contributing millions to the economy of Nigeria every year I am not surprised in the least.
#3 Tourists who are convinced that they are immortal. This affliction is most commonly displayed by mothers who walk down the middle of winding roads in a caravan consisting of one stroller, two mom's chatting, one Golden Retriever and an underage Darwin Award candidate on Rollerblades. Suffice to say that the Patch one leaves up to their feet sparks some lively debates on what actually constitutes the shoulder of the road.
#4 Running out of beer. . . |
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remmy223
Elite Baiter
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 1734
Location: butt f*** middle of nowhwere
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Posted:
Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:54 am |
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tommo's happy thread gone forever.
thats a bitch,so back to moaning i suppose
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_________________ x 356
bike shop
you are bauitfull i will show the picture to my kid
Death man walking.
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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Josh
Elite Baiter
Joined: 24 Apr 2007
Posts: 1799
Location: Nu Zilund
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Posted:
Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:57 am |
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Drivers that don't indicate when turning |
_________________
If you know what is going on here, you will be shock to your marrows - Captain Brian
Ahm3d K4diri: Tamale (Ghana) - Porto Novo (Benin) |
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Red
Baiting Guru
Joined: 25 May 2007
Posts: 2543
Location: 6°27′11″N 3°23′45″E
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Posted:
Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:16 am |
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^^^ And drivers that don't turn when indicating!
Right now I'm pissed off with people who text message during a presentation. Last night I gave a 2 hour presentation and some dick-munch in the 3rd row picked up his phone and texted after i specifically told them to all turn their phones off. I had to stop the thing and say "sorry mate, but am I boring you? If you cannot ignore the urge to use your mobile phone, stand up, walk outside, use it and don't bother coming back". Wanker. |
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:57 am |
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My 'Happy' thread was deleted by the Mods at my request because I wasn't happy after they changed its original title.
Continuing the stag party theme I was in the pub one Saturday teatime before the floods came. Anyway, a stag group came in. The groom was dressed in convict suit and carrying a heavy looking metal ball attached to a large chain strapped to his ankle, kindly supplied by his fellow convicts. Where he had his ASBO, I don't know.
Anyway, this is the best part of the story...he went to put his heavy ball on the bar so he could drink his pint. Sadly, he missed and the metal ball fell on his sandal clad foot with a satisfying squelch. Well at least it was satisfying from my point of view anyway. It was a good job he was also wearing convict socks, otherwise I might have feinted at the sight of all the blood.
That was the same day me and my mate moved on to the next pub. He went via the betting shop and gave me the money for the next round. I went to the bar and happened to notice what appeared to be a �10 (US$20) note crumpled next to me on the floor. There was nobody around, so <coughs>bent down to tie my shoelace and retrieve said note. Shoving it in my pocket, I realised there was more than one note. I withdrew to the mens room to calculate the extent of my windfall, which turned out to be �60 (US$120). My mate was gutted! I did buy him a few drinks though to rub it in. A good day, all in all. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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