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Reprob8
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Joined: 20 Sep 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

So I go to this wedding and reception on saturday night. Because I'm an obnoxious turd, I wore my kilt. Because I was wearing my kilt, I felt obligated to drink Scotch - LOTS of it. I'm sitting in a toasty vicodin/scotch state of mind during the portion of the reception where the bride tosses her bouquet. She closed her eyes, spun around a few times and tossed it - it landed right on my lap. I was forced to pose with the bride, holding the bouquet as the next "bride to be". Now I find out the pictures from the wedding will be posted on a website, available for purchase next week. I'm humiliated.

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lotta
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping

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Corona
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You probably had your legs open and you kilt flew up, being the Gigolo that you are. beers!

We need to see! Cool

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persephone
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

erm, R8..........since the piccies will be on the net anyways, no harm in a copy/paste here Wink

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windypops
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Is R8 still using that old excuse! Rolling Eyes Laughing

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Reprob8
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

They're not there ...yet. Here's one with me dancing with my favorite niece. A sure sign I'm tanked - I'm dancing.
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windypops
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I've put a stop to spam from banks in my own country by using the mail preference service, but I still get banks and loan companies from abroad sending me partially filled in, C/C and loan applications forms. Evil or Very Mad

So, apart from spam and slack bar staff, I'm quite happy with my lot. Wink

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Tommo Shanter
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Tommo's daily bitch...

1. Incompetent suicide bombers. Why didn't you practice blowing you and your 2,000 virgins up at home before backpacking on the underground?
2. Anybody that uses the word "kinda". I guess, I'm kinda picky like that.
3. Village chavs that congregate smoking fags behind the local petrol station. Prime Darwin Award candidates, hopefully.
4. Stag parties. Sorry your fancy dress, vomiting and SHOUTING isn't funny. Piss off to Prague.
5. Hen parties [see 4 above]
6. My local supermarket that stick more expensive goods in place of cheaper ones on the shelf but leave the cheaper price ticket in place. Robbing b*stards.

I'm in a good mood today Lotta, so only 6....so far...

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jojobean
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

1. Tommo's daily list of ramblings.

Wink

I'm just kidding Tommo, I enjoy them.

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TheGreatOok
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Tommo, do you need a hug?

I am with Jojo, I love reading them and agree with a lot of them.

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Reprob8
DIGITALIS MAXIMUS


Joined: 20 Sep 2004
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My ex-wife, the ball-busting hellbeast with no soul. I pay the horrible slag $950/mo for child support, I pay for my kids medical insurance and cover all of the deductible, this month I shelled out $850 for cheerleading fees, $350 for cheerleading camp, $237 for cheerleading tumbling classes, $600 for eye exam and new contacts, $300 for new summer clothes, and I always give my daughter 40 bucks every Friday so she can go out with her friends and have gas for her car. And my unreasonable bitch-face ex-wife has the nerve to be pissed off because I'm having a poker/MXC party with some guys this Friday night and I told her I would prefer my daughter stay at her house that night because I would prefer my daughter not to be exposed to that environment. My daughter has never seen me drunk, or having a drink, for that matter. God, I love to hate that witch.

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Harry Bawls
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Joined: 19 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@R8 I know this is a bitch thread, and I'm not really bitching now, (sorry TS) but the one thing I have learned from experience is that when the kids get some age on them they will remember all that you did. It sucks for you now, but you will be rewarded in the future. Just always let them know that you are there for them.


Edit: Just to make it legal, I will bitch about the pesky people who call me at work while I am trying to post on eater.
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DarkKnight
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Joined: 21 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

1) Chelsea tractor drivers on narrow country roads who force you to into the hedge/muddy verge because they don't want to get their f***ing shiny 4X4 dirty. ITS WHAT THEIR F***ING MADE FOR.

2) Town people who move to the country and then complain about the mess that animals make and the smell. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT F**K OFF BACK TO THE CITY.

I feel better now.

DK.

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Corona
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Poor tommo! Sad

I'll make a deal with ya. If you promise to change you underwear everyday then I will never use "kinda" again on this forum. Cool Maybe the rest of ya'll can come up with a way for tommo to prove it, if he makes the deal. Confused

Tell me that you are a single man. Razz

@reprob8,
Get rid of that avatar in that pic. Very Happy

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Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 6:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry if this has turned into Tommo's daily rant thread.

I'm not really as angry or miserable as people may think. I'm worse! Laughing

Only kidding.

Thanks to jojo, TGH and corona for your concern.

If there was a happy thread I would be more than willing to contribute.

Tommo.

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"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
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Craig007
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ That could be arranged Laughing Laughing

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remmy223
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

that would be a good one.
bitching about being happy

Confused

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Craig007
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I was joking.

Confused

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iMike
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

NHS time wasting.

Daughter 2 dislocated her kneecap. Between the 2 girls, that's 14 times in 6 years, so we're used to the routine.

1. Triage nurse can't/won't authorise an x-ray.
2. Sit in A & E until Doc available.
3. Get to see Doc - Doc won't do anything until she's had an x-ray.
4. Doc authorises x-ray - sit for considerable time waiting for radiology.
5. X-ray taken - back to A & E to wait until Doc available again.
6. Doc looks at x-ray, prods knee & sends for nurse to provide support dressing.

If she'd gone for x-ray straight away, we could have missed out 2-4 saving us & doc considerable time. Luckily, A & E wasn't too busy today. Wifey & daughter got there around 10:15am, back home for 12:40.
Sad

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Dolores
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Joined: 26 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Very long-winded rant time!

I've been trying to get a job for a while now, and it is extremely important that I get one soon. I was at a job fair several weeks ago and was approached by a lady representing a sort of employment agency, and she told me about how the place has a 97% success rate for getting clients into steady, long-term employment and blah blah blah. Sounded good, so I decided to give it a try.

It's almost like I've been baited. I went in 3-5 times a week for a few weeks in a row to take, of all things, personality tests to "see what kind of work I want" (why I can't just tell them, I don't know). After that, there were a few tests on math and English skills, and then I had to bring a shipload of documentation for various things. FINALLY they said I had everything ready, and we could start! Yay! They said they'd call me on Monday of this week to let me know when to come in again.

Well, they didn't call on Monday, so I called them yesterday to find out what was going on. I was told that I didn't have all of the documentation after all. It would have been nice if they'd at least called to tell me that, but I'll let it slide.

Almost as an afterthought, they mentioned that they decided to reject me anyway because my math and English test scores were too high. Apparently, I'm overqualified for them. Amazingly, that does NOT translate into having an ability to get a job very easily (or even an ability not to be a dumbass), it seems.

That was a lovely waste of several weeks I didn't exactly have free to spare. They say I have a second chance if I bring in a note from my former psychiatrist saying they should accept me, but I think I just want to perhaps just look for jobs now.

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Stoker Thompson
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Tommo Shanter wrote:
Tommo's daily bitch...
4. Stag parties. Sorry your fancy dress, vomiting and SHOUTING isn't funny. Piss off to Prague.
5. Hen parties [see 4 above]


Since I live, part time, in the next Capitol over (Big secret begins with a B) I'd have to say that Stag parties with the groom dressed up like Tinker bell vomiting on himself would have to make my whine list.

#2, Willful Stupidity; To fully understand all of the nuances of that statement you would have to work it IT supporting underpaid and under qualified staff. I could site many many examples but suffice to say that when I read stats about 419'ers contributing millions to the economy of Nigeria every year I am not surprised in the least.

#3 Tourists who are convinced that they are immortal. This affliction is most commonly displayed by mothers who walk down the middle of winding roads in a caravan consisting of one stroller, two mom's chatting, one Golden Retriever and an underage Darwin Award candidate on Rollerblades. Suffice to say that the Patch one leaves up to their feet sparks some lively debates on what actually constitutes the shoulder of the road.

#4 Running out of beer. . . Sad
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remmy223
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Joined: 12 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

tommo's happy thread gone forever.
thats a bitch,so back to moaning i suppose

Evil or Very Mad

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Josh
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Drivers that don't indicate when turning Evil or Very Mad

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ And drivers that don't turn when indicating!


Right now I'm pissed off with people who text message during a presentation. Last night I gave a 2 hour presentation and some dick-munch in the 3rd row picked up his phone and texted after i specifically told them to all turn their phones off. I had to stop the thing and say "sorry mate, but am I boring you? If you cannot ignore the urge to use your mobile phone, stand up, walk outside, use it and don't bother coming back". Wanker.
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Tommo Shanter
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Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My 'Happy' thread was deleted by the Mods at my request because I wasn't happy after they changed its original title. Crying or Very sad Very Happy

Continuing the stag party theme I was in the pub one Saturday teatime before the floods came. Anyway, a stag group came in. The groom was dressed in convict suit and carrying a heavy looking metal ball attached to a large chain strapped to his ankle, kindly supplied by his fellow convicts. Where he had his ASBO, I don't know.

Anyway, this is the best part of the story...he went to put his heavy ball on the bar so he could drink his pint. Sadly, Laughing Laughing he missed and the metal ball fell on his sandal clad foot with a satisfying squelch. Well at least it was satisfying from my point of view anyway. It was a good job he was also wearing convict socks, otherwise I might have feinted at the sight of all the blood.

That was the same day me and my mate moved on to the next pub. He went via the betting shop and gave me the money for the next round. I went to the bar and happened to notice what appeared to be a 10 (US$20) note crumpled next to me on the floor. There was nobody around, so <coughs>bent down to tie my shoelace and retrieve said note. Shoving it in my pocket, I realised there was more than one note. I withdrew to the mens room to calculate the extent of my windfall, which turned out to be 60 (US$120). My mate was gutted! I did buy him a few drinks though to rub it in. Laughing A good day, all in all.

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£1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
Closed lad accounts x135 (at 26/9/2008) Easter Egg 2013 Cellphone x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
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