thanks for the advice (discussion is over now)

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:26 pm

Thanks guys!

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:30 pm

Personally, I'm hoping its A & B!!! Wink

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:58 pm

Hard to really be a fair judge. But if I had to bet, I'd put money on B.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:03 pm

Hard to tell without having been there, but it sounds like B.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:05 pm

Having seen past pictures, I'd say "B" surely Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I think we need more detail to be sure.....

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:10 pm

Sorry Eliza, I too am leaning towards B, but I am notoriously bad for figuring out a girl is hitting on me.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:11 pm

^^^ Preferably pictures, just to be on the safe side. Also a poll would come in handy...

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:13 pm

Forget A ... and go for B.
that's just my 2 cents.

But then again, I don't get to work with women all that much ... Mostly I got to work with men, in the office (and the odd woman in the supermarket).

I think I'd feel like: Embarassed

if that ever happened to me ...
And the S.O. would go: jump_4_joy

where do I look???? ...

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:13 pm

Message edited because I do this often.....leaving my posts blank

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:20 pm

I'd say it's "B" as well.

Just so we can all be totally sure though, might I suggest that the next time she is looking like one of the avatars from some of the male members around here, that you take several high resolution photos and post them here. We're just trying to help you know.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

MMmmmm....yeah....SHE'S in control....you're powerless to resist....you HAVE to play along....

Keep going please.... Wink

But seriously, as she is in a power position, she has to tread very carefully or else she could be in legal trouble. That may be your only saving grace, b/c once you do in fact confront her (whether nicely or more uncomfortably), I agree that it will not be good.

How much longer do you have to deal with her professionally?

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:22 pm

I posted a light-hearted comment before realising how much this is affecting you Eliza, and for that I'm sorry. Sad

I don't envy your situation at all to be honest, as it seems to be a lot more complicated than first imagined - I didn't realise, as I imagine others didn't, that this was someone in a position of authority over you. Of course, there are sexual harassment laws, but as I understand it, its difficult to prove, and (although it shouldn't) may cause problems in the longer term.
I think you are doing the only thing you can do, from what I can see, which is ignore it. Perhaps if she realises you aren't interested she'll back off a bit? Confused

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:27 pm

Maybe mentioning how good-looking and sexy <insert names of famous male movie or pop stars here> are next time she's around could help to reenforce the message that you're not interested in women? Then again, she seems not overly receptive to subtle messages...

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:35 pm

B!!!!

and I find myself strangely aroused !

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:37 pm

I think Luther's suggestion is a good one. Normally, I'm an advocate of the direct approach, but your situation is more complicated. Play dumb to her advances, tell her a story about a similar situation that made you very uncomfortable and ask her for her advice on how to handle it. Make something up about a college roommate or a friend of your cousin (something tells me you'll come up with a good one). She'll probably miss the parallel to herself and switch gears from hitting on you to watching over you. Regardless of her reaction, you'll be telling her your orientation in a non-confrontational way.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:43 pm

deleted

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:03 pm

Sounds like a tough one. I don't know if they'll work for same-sex unwelcome advances, but there are some sure fire crush-killers:

Pick your nose and/or scratch at your nether-regions.. a lot.
Talk to her at length about medical problems: goiters, yeast infections, STDs, etc.
Tell her your thinking of moving in with your parents.
Ask what she knows about psych drugs and how to get restraining orders revoked.
Tell her you think "W" is a great man (unless she's republican).

Unfortunately those are probably bridge burners too. Confused

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:10 pm

If you find yourself submitting in any way at all, may I just say.

A video camera is a girls best friend.... Razz

Not quite a Newb Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 46

i'm going to try one of those date schemes were i'll pretend to be a girl and seduce a scammer that outta be fun Laughing

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:26 pm

Wow Eliza, that really is a toughie! If she has power over you, and you make one wrong move (in her eyes) you could be in big trouble. Do you have something like a counsellor or a company GP who you can talk to in private? Hopefully they have some advice or can tell you the company policy about these things?
The lady has not made any moves yet, so you cannot do anything legally of course. So an attorney will not be able to help yet.
Let us hope that the lady understood your hints about the boys and you visiting your ex in Vegas.

good luck, if you want to nag and rant, you know where to find us!

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:00 pm

Is this the sort of place with a good HR department? Her actions are making you uncomfortable, and you shouldn't feel so bad at work that you have to take Zanax! Shocked

You could try the ettiquette hell forums (post in the work area) and they will give you loads of great advice on how to handle awkward situations: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?board=19.0

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:57 pm

Thanks for all the advice.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:06 pm

Sexual harrassment is sexual harrassment whether it's towards someone of the opposite sex or the same sex. Company executives frown on this in a big way as it makes them liable for large lawsuits. Talk to someone in the HR department, they are trained for these type of situations. Good luck.

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 1:54 am

Quote:

So - - she won't work with me via email - - we must SEE each other....

Sounds like a burned lad! Shocked

I was going to suggest you direct her to the recordings of your conversations with PSD and Mr Mugu's lad Ed but to be honest, I think it might just tickle her fancy hearing you talk like that.

Look, bottom line (if this sounds harsh, im sorry, but its a reality for men too) you have to learn to deal with it. Yes, it may make you feel uncomfortable but there is shit all you can do about it without hurting her feelings some way.

if things go too far, you'll know it, and you'll have to say "look, im sorry if i've totally misinterpreted it in the wrong way, but im just not interested. i think you are a very nice woman, but that's just not me".

but if it doesnt come to that i say there's nothing to suggest shes into you other than what you've let your mind think is going on.

she may just be a very flirtatious and jovial woman who finds people sexy. that doesn't mean she wants to jump you. i've met plenty of women like this, who take a moment to have a cheeky grab of my arse, say something sexually suggestive or something. they don't necessarily want to strip me naked and have their way with me (well... not when im awake anyway...) but that's just their nature.

i say you play it cool, ignore it completely and dont talk about anything but work.

if she steers the conversation to your fabulous tan, you steer it back to your fabulous financial proposal (or whatever).

thanks for the advice (discussion is over now)	View next topic View previous topic