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 Mundane Super Powers

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Saint Arnold
Elite Baiter


Joined: 26 Sep 2006
Posts: 1261
Location: By the kegerator


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I can understand the lyrics to "Louie Louie", regardless of who is singing it.

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The baiter formerly known as Krona

Our legal team are on standby for the next line of action in this very interesting case.already they are still studying the MTCN number that you sent,it will be used as evidence together with your full names and address,when this epic battle commences. - the one and only Charles Soludo


--------------------------
Cellphone x15 (RIP) United Kingdom x7 South Africa x1
Safari Lottery lad, Benin City - Abuja Safari A new minister, Lagos-Benin City Safari The same minister, Lagos - Tamale, Ghana
Safari Dr. Johnson - Abidjan-Abuja and back again (so far! - 1666 miles round trip)

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Fat Old Catt
Master Baiter


Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 147
Location: Basking on a sunlit patio


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ ^^ Now THAT takes talent. Shocked

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Stoker Thompson
419Eater is my life


Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 271
Location: Out There.


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

So let me see how this works; Confused

Me " hi guys, remember my chat about the hit-man who wants to kill me?"

Usual suspect "What?"

Me " You know, how I emailed him the fake error message that had him clicking on the computer screen for days."

Usual Suspect. "Uh, OK. But isn't that normal for windows?"

Me " Well yes, But this time it's different. See the message is fake."

Usual Suspect: " Uh, so this guy gets an error message from windows. He clicks on it and nothing happens. He then clicks on it again and nothing happens again. Am I right?"

Me: "Exactly!"

usual Suspect; " But thats what windows does anyway."

Me: "Um, well yes. Kinda, except my messages are fake."

Usual Suspect; " so you plan to thwart scammers by sending them normal windows messages?"

Me: " Oh. Well did I mention that I am also known as Starfighter, Destroyer of Worlds."

Usual Suspect: " So, How much have you been drinking here tonight?"

Me: " What? no. Really I am"

Usual Suspect: "Let me see if I get this straight. These poor Africans who are honestly soliciting money from us for their church or orphanage or even trying to con us with this hit man game so they can finally live a decent life are getting this sort of abuse from you?"

Me: "But everything they send is a fake."

Usual Suspect: " I see. And you really do have super powers that aren't fake?"

Me: "of course"

Usual Suspect: " Check Please. . . . . Sound of money hitting the bar."

Me: " But wait. I used to work in an office with an extra set of rows on the keyboard. And there was this whole ESP and John Walker thing. Did I forget to mention the walking through walls bit and time travel?"

Usual Suspect: Sound of footsteps walking to the Exit door.

Me: " Oh well. At least I can log in to 418eater where all my friends are normal" . . . . . . .
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crashhoot
Moderator


Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 3131
Location: Looking for the petting zoo.


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Stoker Thompson wrote:
" Oh well. At least I can log in to 418eater where all my friends are normal" . . . . . . .

Yeah, its the ones at 419Eater that you have to worry about! Wink

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Reprob8
DIGITALIS MAXIMUS


Joined: 20 Sep 2004
Posts: 1794
Location: At the Pharmacy


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I can will my blood pressure to go from its normal 100/60 to 150/90 and back again. I've done it for my doctor, it freaks him out. He always tells me I should donate my body to science fiction when I die.

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JMRazor
Baiting Guru


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
Location: Yes


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I can mimic accents with great alacrity. I've done it in various settings in the past -- sometimes getting myself into rather sticky situations, as in the time I was vacationing on an island back when I was 18 with my family and another family we were good friends with.

I convinced these two girls from Minnesota that I was British (I had recently gotten back from a school trip to London and France for a week) -- well that was all fine and well in the bar, but then they wanted to hang around with me and my friend for the next few days. I had to create an elaborate backstory for why I went to college in the U.S. and why my parents spoke with non-British accents. The used to pitch themselves into fits of laughter when I would "pretend" to speak as a Yank. Laughing

Of course, these girls being blonde and from Minnesota -- it wasn't that hard. Wink

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spoilsport
Master Baiter


Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 200
Location: Behind my laptop


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 2:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Embarassed Computers I work on, be it at home or at work, develop some kind of malfunction or error message that leaves the IT department baffled, and end up with a new computer at work and reinstalling everything at home. I used disk defragmenter on the first PC we ever had at home and managed to trash the hard drive... Shocked

Oh yes, I hypnotize my bunny when I massage him. You can roll him over just like that! Very Happy

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Mike
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Nov 2003
Posts: 721
Location: Dublin, Ireland


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 2:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Reprob8 wrote:
I can will my blood pressure to go from its normal 100/60 to 150/90 and back again. I've done it for my doctor, it freaks him out. He always tells me I should donate my body to science fiction when I die.


Why wait? Very Happy

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Saint Arnold
Elite Baiter


Joined: 26 Sep 2006
Posts: 1261
Location: By the kegerator


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Repob8 wrote:
I should donate my body to science fiction when I die

Another Steven Wright fan outs himself.

If you were driving at the speed of light and turned on the headlights, would anything happen?

</threadjack>

_________________
The baiter formerly known as Krona

Our legal team are on standby for the next line of action in this very interesting case.already they are still studying the MTCN number that you sent,it will be used as evidence together with your full names and address,when this epic battle commences. - the one and only Charles Soludo


--------------------------
Cellphone x15 (RIP) United Kingdom x7 South Africa x1
Safari Lottery lad, Benin City - Abuja Safari A new minister, Lagos-Benin City Safari The same minister, Lagos - Tamale, Ghana
Safari Dr. Johnson - Abidjan-Abuja and back again (so far! - 1666 miles round trip)

pony <----because life can seem bleary and bleak without one. TS
pony Because Lotta is a great and beautiful mod!
Mortar x21
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breadcrumb
Licking Dirty Floors


Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 2075
Location: On my knees, licking floors together with TSnerd


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^ Oh, I love Steven Wright....my favourite are: "3000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a chinise restaurant" and "I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." Laughing Laughing Laughing

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SamV
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Oct 2003
Posts: 2968
Location: U. S. of frickin' A., Baby!


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"I saw a sign that said 24 hour banking.... I don't have time for that."

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Licking Dirty Floors


Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 2075
Location: On my knees, licking floors together with TSnerd


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Anybody remember his appearance in "Mad about you"? Where he played the cutter?
SUCH a great scene:
Paul is standing in the cutting room with Steven Wright, they look at the cutting machine and Paul asks Steven while pointing at the machine: "What does this button do?"
Steven replies: "Nothing".
Paul presses the button and film material flies around in the room.
And Steven says: "Unless you press it" Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
I´d vote for Don or TS but Lotta, Juan and sheboppe are the best! But the squirrel still sucks on the buttons *g*

"your papa, i do you ok, you do fuck your self off goodday" Hitman lad to Usm4an B3ll0
"fuck you and your mumu family for ever andv ever, you go die for bicycle accident this year" Hitman to Usm4n B3ll0
"once again thank you for the disappointment and arranged confussion." Barrister Ise
"Do you said am stupid" lad posing as Mike Pence
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Ima Baeder
419Eater Admin


Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 18314


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 5:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

oh man, Steven Wright jokes. There are soooo many good ones.

http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html

I like this one a lot: "I used to live in a fire hydrant factory, you couldn't park anywhere near the place".

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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 5:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If you want, I can split these and make a Steven Wright thread.

....unless all your Mundane Super Powers are derailing threads into the land of 'Off Topic'? Wink

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Reprob8
DIGITALIS MAXIMUS


Joined: 20 Sep 2004
Posts: 1794
Location: At the Pharmacy


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 6:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Actually, I stole that joke from Rodney Dangerfield (RIP). Back to the topic at hand ... I can crack my knuckles over and over by making a fist over and over. I can also flip a stack of bar coasters 180 degrees and catch them in mid air with both hands at once! I used to be able to fire a bottle cap by snapping my fingers with deadly accuracy ... alas, my skills have faded in that area.

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Master Shake
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 23 Oct 2006
Posts: 63


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My superhero alter-ego is King Sadim. Everything I touch turns to crap.
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OscarAcosta
Master Baiter


Joined: 17 May 2007
Posts: 105


PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well... where to start. I am man of wealth and taste, and I am a traveller in both space and time.

Actually no, I'm just an old pleb that like Zep and the Stones.

Smile

0sc4r
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Master Shake
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 23 Oct 2006
Posts: 63


PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Now that I think of it, Master Shake on "Aqua Teen HUnger Force" does have a super hero alter ego---


THE DRIZZLE!


He can make it rain on criminals...
If they're outside, and rain is in the forecast.
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Corona
Eater's sweetheart


Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8648
Location: On ya left!


PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 3:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Not super power, just super weird.
In the 70's I operated a sheep foot dirt roller. Shocked I did this for 3 years. There was about 8 construction companies that installed an addition to one of our major highway in my state. Each company had 7 miles and ours was on top of one of our biggest mountains. The pan (looks like a caterpillar) would scrape the dirt out of the mountain and bring to us. The bull dozer would bring it to me, spread it out and then I would pack it down. It wasn't hard work, It would take them so long to bring the dirt and I would read or tend to my garden (hidden.) Wink
I rolled for 15 mins. out of an hour. Razz

Dearly loved it! Wink

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Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I can ride a bicycle facing backwards sitting on the handlebars whilst peddling. Not recommended on public roads. Shocked Shocked

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Reaper
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Joined: 06 May 2007
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Location: Travelling in a fried-out combie. On a hippie trail, head full of zombie...


PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I see dancing pink elephants,

When I talk to people and they have an accent I copy they're accent, the level of volume they're talking at and their tone..

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Last edited by Reaper on Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:35 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Tommo Shanter wrote:
I can ride a bicycle facing backwards sitting on the handlebars whilst peddling. Not recommended on public roads. Shocked Shocked


I did that in a local bike event just this week. It was 750 other bicyclists taking over the road in the town I live in for something called a bike happening. Looks like a street in china with all those people biking. Also did some freestyle/flatland stunts while riding there. God that bike ride was fun. Seriously, imagine 750 other bicyclists around you on the same street, mass anarchy at it's best. Laughing ... and yes I was riding backwards on a public road. This is kind of what a bike happening looks like (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuZx8CDbaZQ). Basically it's just a bunch of people riding the streets to take it over. We even intermingle with cars it's that crazy.

Oh and my super power, I can drink people under the table. Cool

edit: Dam... I got my Wanna Be baiter status in a super powers thread and not a baiting thread. Oh well. Laughing
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Gnasher
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 8:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I can put a doona/duvet/continental quilt in its cover AND do up the poppers in less than 10 seconds.

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Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 8:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Reaper wrote:
When I talk to people and they have an accent I copy they're accent, the level of volume they're talking at and their tone..


Tell me about it. I can do an excellent impression of Barry Scott from the cilit bang advert [Google it] when such noisy buggers annoy me in the pub. I like to retort : "STOP SHOUTING. I CAN'T!!" They shout on their mobiles and they shout at their mates who are standing a mere foot away.

Why do they always have to walk up and down when on their mobiles? One of life's mysteries. They can't just stand still and do it. Maybe they think their brains won't fry if they keep moving. "TOO LATE MATE!!!"
</end of rant>

I can also talk along to all the annoying adverts on Freeview (UK) word for word, throwing in frequent abuse at their complete lack of acting ability. I need to get out more!

_________________
£1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
Closed lad accounts x135 (at 26/9/2008) Easter Egg 2013 Cellphone x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah

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Zorro
419Eater is my life


Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 377
Location: In levitation


PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Blessed with the the power of invisibility ... I can write posts that remain invisible to readers, can make myself invisible in restaurants - the waiters only see though me, the guy at the petrol station never sees me until he discovers me by mistake after he has served everybody else.

I can also read upside down text, can doze off in almost any position (I thnk that's an age thing) am very good at forgetting importamt stuff and recalling useless things.

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