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 thanks for the advice (discussion is over now)

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Eliza_Doolittle
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Joined: 16 Mar 2006
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Location: Contemplating a plan to steal Shiver's cat


PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks guys!

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Last edited by Eliza_Doolittle on Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:27 pm; edited 2 times in total
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B.L.Z. Bubb
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Personally, I'm hoping its A & B!!! Wink

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rindaris
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hard to really be a fair judge. But if I had to bet, I'd put money on B.

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Rodus
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hard to tell without having been there, but it sounds like B.

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Luther Blissett
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Having seen past pictures, I'd say "B" surely Wink

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think we need more detail to be sure.....

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TheGreatOok
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry Eliza, I too am leaning towards B, but I am notoriously bad for figuring out a girl is hitting on me.

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Luther Blissett
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Preferably pictures, just to be on the safe side. Also a poll would come in handy...

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margory
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Forget A ... and go for B.
that's just my 2 cents.

But then again, I don't get to work with women all that much ... Mostly I got to work with men, in the office (and the odd woman in the supermarket).

I think I'd feel like: Embarassed if that ever happened to me ...
And the S.O. would go: jump_4_joy where do I look???? ...
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Eliza_Doolittle
"Warned for lad hugging"


Joined: 16 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Message edited because I do this often.....leaving my posts blank

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Pith Helmet M4rtins Uzo - Lagos to Abuja "l have spent money,time,took risk to travel all the way from lagos to abuja to meet you.(8 good hours on board)."
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Last edited by Eliza_Doolittle on Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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YeaWhatever
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'd say it's "B" as well.

Just so we can all be totally sure though, might I suggest that the next time she is looking like one of the avatars from some of the male members around here, that you take several high resolution photos and post them here. We're just trying to help you know.

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

MMmmmm....yeah....SHE'S in control....you're powerless to resist....you HAVE to play along....


Keep going please.... Wink

But seriously, as she is in a power position, she has to tread very carefully or else she could be in legal trouble. That may be your only saving grace, b/c once you do in fact confront her (whether nicely or more uncomfortably), I agree that it will not be good.

How much longer do you have to deal with her professionally?

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B.L.Z. Bubb
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I posted a light-hearted comment before realising how much this is affecting you Eliza, and for that I'm sorry. Sad
I don't envy your situation at all to be honest, as it seems to be a lot more complicated than first imagined - I didn't realise, as I imagine others didn't, that this was someone in a position of authority over you. Of course, there are sexual harassment laws, but as I understand it, its difficult to prove, and (although it shouldn't) may cause problems in the longer term.
I think you are doing the only thing you can do, from what I can see, which is ignore it. Perhaps if she realises you aren't interested she'll back off a bit? Confused

_________________
"i will search for your mother.I will like to feed my own crocodile with your mum for christmas. GOAT FELCHER!" - Nicky Don (Who couldn't even write his own insults!)

"Please note for your information i am not boner,my name is bona Williams." - Reminded me of Shiver's "Ahoy Matey" quote...

"Maybe we should all just have an orgy and not worry about who belongs to whom." - from 419eater chat. This is what you're missing if you're not in it.

Kids, don't PostWhore for your Orange Name or you'll end up like me. Do the right thing. Donate.

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Luther Blissett
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Maybe mentioning how good-looking and sexy <insert names of famous male movie or pop stars here> are next time she's around could help to reenforce the message that you're not interested in women? Then again, she seems not overly receptive to subtle messages...

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Reprob8
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

B!!!!

and I find myself strangely aroused !

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luckey
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think Luther's suggestion is a good one. Normally, I'm an advocate of the direct approach, but your situation is more complicated. Play dumb to her advances, tell her a story about a similar situation that made you very uncomfortable and ask her for her advice on how to handle it. Make something up about a college roommate or a friend of your cousin (something tells me you'll come up with a good one). She'll probably miss the parallel to herself and switch gears from hitting on you to watching over you. Regardless of her reaction, you'll be telling her your orientation in a non-confrontational way.

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Eliza_Doolittle
"Warned for lad hugging"


Joined: 16 Mar 2006
Posts: 1979
Location: Contemplating a plan to steal Shiver's cat


PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

deleted

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Pith Helmet Uch3nna - 222km Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin
Pith Helmet M4rtins Uzo - Lagos to Abuja "l have spent money,time,took risk to travel all the way from lagos to abuja to meet you.(8 good hours on board)."
Pith Helmet Ed - Port Harcourt to Kaduna
vLad's ebay auction states "Wonderful seller! Thinks "out of the box" to get item to you."
<br>
starstar Ghana Easter Egg 2013

Vcamera <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrsRobinson419"> Click to see the videos Ed sent me.</a><br>
<A href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/index.html"> Eliza's lad quotes, photos, and audio files</a>
Mortar x12
*this sig icon has been censored* <br><a href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/809104_ML.pdf" > click here</a> for a Bank Account Transfer Form.
Golden Pith

Last edited by Eliza_Doolittle on Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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luckey
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sounds like a tough one. I don't know if they'll work for same-sex unwelcome advances, but there are some sure fire crush-killers:

Pick your nose and/or scratch at your nether-regions.. a lot.
Talk to her at length about medical problems: goiters, yeast infections, STDs, etc.
Tell her your thinking of moving in with your parents.
Ask what she knows about psych drugs and how to get restraining orders revoked.
Tell her you think "W" is a great man (unless she's republican).

Unfortunately those are probably bridge burners too. Confused

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Dirteh Sanchez
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If you find yourself submitting in any way at all, may I just say.




A video camera is a girls best friend.... Razz Wink

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DarnSnatcher
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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i'm going to try one of those date schemes were i'll pretend to be a girl and seduce a scammer that outta be fun Laughing
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spoilsport
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Wow Eliza, that really is a toughie! If she has power over you, and you make one wrong move (in her eyes) you could be in big trouble. Do you have something like a counsellor or a company GP who you can talk to in private? Hopefully they have some advice or can tell you the company policy about these things?
The lady has not made any moves yet, so you cannot do anything legally of course. So an attorney will not be able to help yet.
Let us hope that the lady understood your hints about the boys and you visiting your ex in Vegas.

good luck, if you want to nag and rant, you know where to find us!

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Is this the sort of place with a good HR department? Her actions are making you uncomfortable, and you shouldn't feel so bad at work that you have to take Zanax! Shocked

You could try the ettiquette hell forums (post in the work area) and they will give you loads of great advice on how to handle awkward situations: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?board=19.0

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Eliza_Doolittle
"Warned for lad hugging"


Joined: 16 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for all the advice.

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Pith Helmet Uch3nna - 222km Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin
Pith Helmet M4rtins Uzo - Lagos to Abuja "l have spent money,time,took risk to travel all the way from lagos to abuja to meet you.(8 good hours on board)."
Pith Helmet Ed - Port Harcourt to Kaduna
vLad's ebay auction states "Wonderful seller! Thinks "out of the box" to get item to you."
<br>
starstar Ghana Easter Egg 2013

Vcamera <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrsRobinson419"> Click to see the videos Ed sent me.</a><br>
<A href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/index.html"> Eliza's lad quotes, photos, and audio files</a>
Mortar x12
*this sig icon has been censored* <br><a href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/809104_ML.pdf" > click here</a> for a Bank Account Transfer Form.
Golden Pith

Last edited by Eliza_Doolittle on Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mad4Maya
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sexual harrassment is sexual harrassment whether it's towards someone of the opposite sex or the same sex. Company executives frown on this in a big way as it makes them liable for large lawsuits. Talk to someone in the HR department, they are trained for these type of situations. Good luck.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 1:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
So - - she won't work with me via email - - we must SEE each other....


Sounds like a burned lad! Shocked


I was going to suggest you direct her to the recordings of your conversations with PSD and Mr Mugu's lad Ed but to be honest, I think it might just tickle her fancy hearing you talk like that.

Look, bottom line (if this sounds harsh, im sorry, but its a reality for men too) you have to learn to deal with it. Yes, it may make you feel uncomfortable but there is shit all you can do about it without hurting her feelings some way.

if things go too far, you'll know it, and you'll have to say "look, im sorry if i've totally misinterpreted it in the wrong way, but im just not interested. i think you are a very nice woman, but that's just not me".

but if it doesnt come to that i say there's nothing to suggest shes into you other than what you've let your mind think is going on.

she may just be a very flirtatious and jovial woman who finds people sexy. that doesn't mean she wants to jump you. i've met plenty of women like this, who take a moment to have a cheeky grab of my arse, say something sexually suggestive or something. they don't necessarily want to strip me naked and have their way with me (well... not when im awake anyway...) but that's just their nature.

i say you play it cool, ignore it completely and dont talk about anything but work.

if she steers the conversation to your fabulous tan, you steer it back to your fabulous financial proposal (or whatever).

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