The Abacha Files: Nicknames Included

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Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2004 9:32 am

Okay, so this was actually the second bait that I had ever done. It's pretty old, I think from the end of April into early May. Really not that old, but old considering that these fuckfaces come by a dime a dozen. Here you are.

Quote:

ABACHA�S ROYAL FAMILY ESTATE DEVELOPERS/CONSULTANT.

Dear sir\madam.

Assalam o alikum, I am delighted to write this letter to you hoping that
you will understand my predicament and answer back without hesitation. I am
DR.(MRS.) MARIAM ABACHA wife of the late Nigerian Head of State GENERAL SANI
ABACHA. I got your contact through business inquires from the chamber or
commerce as I was making contact for a Honest foreigner who will help save my
life and my children, hence our country has been frustrating to us since the
death of my husband. I am in possession of $18,000.000 (EIGHTEEN MILLION U.S DOLLARS) which Iwant to invest in your country.
For your clarification and understanding, this money is in a truck box
which was deposited with a finance and security company indisguise as a
family treasure since 5th of May, 1999. it is not an ill gotten wealth rather
it was WILLED to me by my late husband. On your acceptance to render this
assistance to me, I will instruct the finance company to effect the change of
ownership of this fund to your name as the bona-fide owner/my next of kin to
enable you retrieve the fund since the box can not be moved out of our country
by the family's name. It is very important that you forward to me your
private telephone and fax numbers/occupation,to enable me send all relevant
documents pertaining the deposit of this fund to you. Bear in mind that this
transaction demands absolute confidentiality because all properties,assets and bank accounts both local and international
bearing the ABACHA�S family name, are been confiscated by the Already
elected civilian President of Nigeria so called(President Olusegun Obasanjo)
hence I will not want to be exposed. For your knowledge, 15% of this fund
$18,000.000 (EIGHTEEN MILLION U.S DOLLARS) will be given to you if you assist me to
secure this fund and another 5% has set aside for all the expenses you might incur during the process of securing this fund. Example: TELEPHONE/FAX
BILLS and any other miscellaneous expenses. And bear in mind that this is
the only remaining fund for the survival of my family.Thanks as I wait for
your immediate reply.
View this website

I. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/877113.stm
2. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/2282366.stm
3. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1606565.stm
4. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1576527.stm

Yours truly.
DR.(MRS)MARIAM ABACHA

*What a stellar deal! Who could go wrong with a foolproof plan like this one?*

Quote:

Mike-
Yes I am very intrigued. What can I do to help? I am in dyer need of money, as I need to buy an above-ground pool for my yard, or else my wife will leave me for the Man with the Yellow Hat. He is an evil swine, so I need a pool. Please respond, but please refrain from speaking in Jive or Ebonics. And lastly, please call me by my nickname, Honky-Lips. Thank you, and God Bless.
-Billy Lumberg
"Honky-Lips"

Quote:

hello,
i can understand you need for money but please you have to assure me you are a good person that you wont swindle my funds just to please your wife. we cant afford to loose this funds that is why i have to make sure you are a good person before we proceed. if you are sure you are a nice person then provide me with your full contact address and telephone number so we can arrange the shipment of this funds urgently to where you would travel to claim it. as soon as i get the information requested from you i shall reveal to you the security code of this trabnsaction and refer you to the security company ok.
mariam

Quote:

Hello-
Who is this? I responded to a Mike, but I have never heard of a Mariam. I am confused. Anyway, I don't have much, but I really need something to believe in. Mariam, can I believe in you? I was ready to believe in Mike, but now he's gone. I just really want to accomplish something, as I have yet to show the world what I can do. I'm no dummy, and I refuse to be anyone's bitch. Can I believe in you? Get back. And call me Honkey Lips Dammit!

Quote:

sorry i didnt tell you who mike is, mike is my younger brother i used his email to write you for confidential reason ok.
mariam

Quote:

Hello, thank you for your mail you sent to me. and also your willingness to assist me and my family in this our predicament. First, I have to let you know as a fellow human being that all I need from you is your sincerity and trust in this business so that I can be able to confide in you for the smooth sucess of the transaction, as you stand to gain Immensly with your association with my family.
I need you full name, your contact address and your copy of your International passport, I will tell my son PRINCE ABBAS ABACHA to call you for more details or you call him with this number 234 8037408847. I hope you understand the position of this funds, if you dont i herefore let you know the true position of this fund: my husband made this deposit in my name to the security company and the funds was packed in the trunk boxes as family treasure, the security company doesnt know the true content because it was sealed before it was moved to the company ok, and i tell you after the death of my husnband, the government seized all the properties and money which my husband placed with banks in his name and my government placed a handsome price on who ever that will disclose information relating to where my husband placed money which they cant trace and should this security company know that this consignment if money,
they will release it to the government. so note that the company doesnt know the true content as they cant even open it to access it, it was sealed with a number lock which me and my son alone knows the number lock which i shall release to you should you agree to travel to greece or Dubai to claim it.
please confirm to me if you would travel to claim this funds so i can direct the shippment at once ok. I got your contact after my several search for a very reputable and capable and reliable someone that can save guard this money for my family since the government is after my family after the death of my late Husband.I got your contant from the internet through I picked three names, and took it to my spiritualist and he then confirm to me that you are a very trustworthy person that I can rely on in this transaction, So please don't let me and my family down, you are the only hope we have to survive through this business, try all your possible best so that you can call my son PRINCE ABBAS ABACHA with the above number for more details towards the transaction. I attached my picture for you to know the person you are doing business with. Get back to me Immediately so that we will comence towards the business, also I want to know if you are married or not? How old are you? Scan your picture and send it to me. Assure me that you are a good person, call my son. and hoping to hear from you soon. Thanks God Bless you. Mrs Mariam

http://img75.photobucket.com/albums/v227/Rookie303/MaraiamDL.bmp

*What a nice Nigerian Drivers License. I wasn't aware that you needed a license to drive a Vespa through Lagos*

Quote:

Mariam-
I liked your picture. I would be more than happy to send you one back, too. As a matter of fact, I will. I responded back to Mike's email, and I still demand to know who you are. Regardless, I'll still send a picture so you can see who you're dealing with, and if you screw me in any way, you'll know who is coming to slap that dot right off of your head. As long as we are understood, we can proceed. And I also instructed Mike that I don't speak Jive or Ebonics, and I instructed him to call me by my nickname, which is Honky Lips. I require confidentiality, so please use my nickname for all further communication. Attached is my picture. �Honkey Lips

http://img75.photobucket.com/albums/v227/Rookie303/AngryLumberg.jpg

*Yeah, I decided to go with a photo of some random ock that I found when I Googled for 'White Trash'*

Quote:

hello,
i can understand you need for money but please you have to assure me you are a good person that you wont swindle my funds just to please your wife. we cant afford to loose this funds that is why i have to make sure you are a good person before we proceed. if you are sure you are a nice person then provide me with your full contact address and telephone number so we can arrange the shipment of this funds urgently to where you would travel to claim it as soon as i get the information requested from you i shall reveal to you the security code of this transaction and refer you to the security company ok.
Mariam

Quote:

Hello Mariam-
You got nothing to worry about. I am no swindler, I assure you. I am just an honest guy who wants to save his marriage by getting an above ground swimming pool. A little more about me. My IQ isn't so good anymore because when I was growing up we had no money. So we used to find different ways to keep ourselves entertained, one way was backyard wrestling. Do your people backyard wrestle? Well anyway, I was getting ready finish off my opponent with my signature move, The Inverted Tongue Puncher. I jumped off the top of my family's trailer, and they moved the ring right out from under me. I broke 4 ribs, which I had to later get removed, and cracked my noodle pretty good on a rock. But one benefit is that I can practice fellatio on myself. Do you practice fellatio? I sure hope so, so that hopefully when we meet, you can practice it on me, too. I know good fellatio, I have performing it on myself and on others for years. I'll let you know. Also, it is important that you call me Honky Lips. That's my nickname, and from now on, my code name. We will use code names from now on. Would you like me to pick one out for you? I will call you Stank Ho. But please, I require confidentiality, as I am sure that you do, too. So let's use the code names. Along with my contact information, I am attaching a picture of the above ground swimming pool that I intend to buy.

William Lumberg (Honky Lips)
166691 PCH Frontage Rd.
Trailer Slot #86-14-902
Toluca Puddles, CA
90215 USA

Phone Number:
206-xxx-xxxx

If there is anything further, let me know. I trust you, and you can trust me. This is Honky Lips signing off.

http://img75.photobucket.com/albums/v227/Rookie303/TrailerParkPool.jpg

*Yeah, that�s about the best pool that they got. Although it�s only 5�6� deep, I figure that I can get away with putting in a diving board*

Quote:

hello,
ok i can trust you now. i am directing the shipment of this consignment urgently to canada because canada is closest to you.
please get ready to move down to canada this weekend to claim the consignment .
i have forwarded this info to the security company now. you can write the security company at [email protected] the name of the operation offer is Mr Newman HUGO

PLEASE I RELEASE TO YOU NOW THE SECURITY CODE OF THE CONSIGNMENT CDW211CA, THIS CODE IS WHAT YOU WILL MENTION SO THE COMPANY WILL KNOW YOU ARE THE TRUE BENEFICIARY OK.
PLEASE GET BACK TO ME.
WELL THE POOL YOU SCAN IS SO FANTASTIC, CAN YOU GET ME AN APRTMENT THAT HAS SUCH LOVELY LOOKING POOL, SO WHEN YOU COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY WE CAN LIVE THERE.
GET BACK TO ME ON WHAT IT COST TO BUY IT.
CONSIGNMENT LEAVES TODAY BY 9:15PM TONIGHT- MARIAM

Written to the Mugu at the Security Company:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Newman Hugo,
My name is Honky Lips. Here is my security code: CDW211CA. Now, let's get down to business. I am not going to Canada any time soon. I hate Canadians. I hate Canada. Now, let me know what is going on, so I can arrange accordingly. Hey, hopefully maybe when you and I meet, we could toss salad. Do you ever toss salad? We could teabag each other, too. That is fun stuff. It's like a party in everyone's mouth when there is tossed salad and teabags. Get back to me fool. Oh yeah, I only communicate with code names, so I must assign you a code name. You seem professional enough, so your new nickname is Office Bitch. Sound good? If you have a better one, please let me know. Get back.
Honky Lips

*For the record, I love Canada, as well as all of its inhabitants. It's a wonderful place*

Quote:

Dear Stank-Ho,
That is your new nickname. Now what is this about me going to Canada this weekend? Canada is nowhere close to me, it's over 2000 miles away from me numbnuts! Now, let's get this straight. You come to America, I'll get you an apartment, and a job cleaning out the latrines in my trailer park, as I am really good friends with the landlord. You could practice your fellatio on him too, only after you practice on me. As far as the consignment, I'll deal with Mr. Newman Hugo. I've got my security code. I am the beneficiary. I am hung like a donkey. I'm off like a prom dress. Over and out. �Honky Lips

Quote:

hello- my code name is mymmy please have you heard from my son on telephone? IAfter all done, I come to USA, you find me apartamet close to you, and I swim in your pool ok. mymmy.

*Her son?! I thought that he was her brother. What the fuck are they up to? Our fearless leader must investigate. These mugus are into some pretty sick shit nowadays*

Quote:

Stank Ho-
Your son? I thought that he was your brother. What kind of incestuous love triangle did I get into with you people? I thought that I could trust you. For that, I am refusing to call you mymmy. Your nickname is still Stank Ho. You can call yourself mymmy if you like, but not me. And no, he has not called me yet. But I am anxiously awaiting his call, though. Whether he is your son, lover, brother, whatever, I need the truth! I will not be lied to by you Stank Ho. And I also emailed the man at the Security Company. He has yet to get back to me. But if you are going to contact him, his code name is Office Bitch. These code names are imperative, as any communication can be monitored. We must trust each other from here on out. I think that I found you an apartment, too. It has an above ground swimming pool, and it is close to my trailer. It is in a beautiful part of town that we call the Projects, and your new future neighbor even has a chemistry lab in his apartment. It's so cool, he makes up this stuff called crystal methamphetamine, and it is a lot of fun at parties and stuff. I use mine with a light bulb. Please get back to me.
-Honkey Lips

Quote:

hello,
please lets face this matter very serious and trusted ok, i told you i used my brother email mike to contact you in my first mail and that is true for obvious reasons, because i dont speak or write english i asked you to call my son prince abbas to discuss with you. a secretary typoes mail for me after i write in native language ok, so get iot staright.

the security company operation officer is very mad at your letter to him because you sounds very insultive to him, how dare you write such mail to him, do you want to jeopardize the chances of having this matter done very fast, what is wrong with you, if you are a drug adict please make sure you are clear each time you write mail in respect of this matter, and like i told you earlier i want you to be seriouse other wise i will not write you again and i will look for another foreign partner.
Mariam

Quote:

Stank Ho-
First off, don�t mess with me, I am having a bad day already. There is a simple solution to all of this, have someone call me. I am a very busy man, and I refuse to be toyed with. Tell Office Bitch from Canada that I am a little sorry, only for the purposes of this transaction, though. As soon as all of this is taken care of, I�ll go straight back to hating Canadians and there Mother Land. Now all that I want from you is cooperation. Oh, the day will be here when you finally make it to America, and we can be as one. Get back to me, and have someone call me.
-Honkey Lips

Quote:

Stank Ho-
What is going on with the transaction? I have been worried about you. I stopped using drugs, however now I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms. But now my main focus is getting the money, and having you in my life. I went to Frederick's of Hollywood yesterday, and I picked you up a very nice gift. I even got a present for Office Bitch, I am sure that he will like it. I can give it to him, as I have just made recent inquiries into the prices to travel to Canada. I will attach pictures of the gifts. Remember, the outfit is for Office Bitch, and the anal device is for you, my pet. I am willing to go to Canada, despite my qualms. Please get back to me, as soon as possible. I want you to remember one thing: Honkey Lips Loves You!

http://img75.photobucket.com/albums/v227/Rookie303/StankHoGift.bmp

*I hope that she has some lube handy*

http://img75.photobucket.com/albums/v227/Rookie303/OfficeBitchGift.bmp

*We'll see how he feels about looking like 'The Gimp' from Pulp Fiction*

Quote:

hello,you are still nuts.well like you said in your last email , that you have stopped drugs let me belive you, the security company is requesting for 4,500$ for the shipment of this consignment to canada where you would travel to claim it.please write to the security company and ask them to tell you how you would make the payment to them, at least if you pay them this fees i would be sure you are very serious about this ok.i like our gifts.reply.mariam

Quote:

Dearest Stank-Ho,
Greetings. I appreciate your kind words, and thank you for still having faith in a recovering junkie. I am more than willing to send the security company the $4,500 as I have just recently sold my last stash. No more shady dealings for this guy. I will get in contact with the security company and find out how they want to deal with this. I am so excited that I can hardly wait to get to Canada. I take back what I said about Canada and Canadians. I will send you a copy of the email that I send to the security company as well so that you can stay in the loop. Good day.
Honky Lips

*So I send an email to the security company. I also send a copy of it to Stank Ho. By the sound of their emails, I don�t think that they like me too much anymore. Those bastards, I thought long and hard about the codenames that I gave them, I feel that each one suits them well*

Quote:

Stank Ho-
The following is a copy of the email that I sent to Office Bitch at the security company. I miss you. A lot.
-Honky Lips

Dearest Office Bitch,
Honkey Lips here. Security Code: CDW211CA. Now let's get down to business. First off I'm sorry about what I said about Canada and Canadians. I did not mean those words, as I wrote you the last email, I was coming down off of being up for 6 days on a wild binge, complete with all sorts of drugs, tons of booze, and 12 midgets making a movie in my trailer. But that is over now, and I am more than ready, willing and able to take all of the necessary steps to move forward with this transaction. Please let me know how to get you the $4,500. I am in the middle of switching banks, so I would prefer to do it in cash. If you could also inform me of where and when I need to be in Canada, that would be super. If you would like to, please feel free to call me on my phone number: 206-xxx-xxxx. If I don't answer leave a message, and I will call you back. Cool. I am also sending a copy of this email to Mariam Abacha. Get back to me whenever. Thanks.
-Honky Lips

Quote:

Attn: William Lumberg

Be careful

YOU DONT ADDRESS PEOPLE LIKE THIS, WE HAVE BEEN IN THIS BUSINESS FOR MORE 43 YEARS NOW AND NO PERSON HAVE ADDRESS US IN THIS MANNER.

LET IT NOT REPEAT AGAIN.

WE ARE MOVING THE CONSIGNMENT AT ONCE TO OUR CLEARING OFFICE IN CANADA AND WE DEMAND FOR A CARGO FEE OF $US4,500 TO ENABLE US PAY FOR THE SHIPMENT.

HERE IS HOW YOU WOULD SEND US THE MONEY BY WESTERN UNIONJ MONEY TRANSFER

NAME: MR KENNETH EZEH
CITY: ENUGU
NIGERIA.
QUESTION: COLOUR
ANSWER:WHITE
PLEASE MAKE THIS PAYMKENTY VERY FAST TO ENABLE US EFFECT ACTION TOMORROW.
THANKING YOU AS YOU COMPLY TO THIS ARRANGEMENT.
CORDIALLY,
NEWMAN HUGO

*Oh my word. Office Bitch sure does seem very mad, and not as humble as he was before. I don�t think that they are used to such drivel. I am just trying to be sly by using code names, and I just don�t think that they realize that. Also note the way that the mugu spelled Western Union is his last angry email. I use that as a method of time stalling*

Quote:

Office Bitch-
Okay no problem. But how would you like me to pay for it? I see a name, a city, a question and an answer. You said Western UnionJ, but I only know of Western Union. Would you like me to mail it to you? That takes longer than a day. Please get back to me on this. Thank you.
-Honkey Lips

Quote:

Stank Ho-
Office Bitch told me where to send the money, and to who, but not how. He said Western UnionJ, but I only know about Western Union. I believe that he also said that his favorite color is white. Some one should tell him that white is not a color, it is a shade. I don't want to though, as he does not like me already. Please address this issue soon, as I am confused on what to do. Thanks.
-Honkey Lips

*So I decided to ask them another question. I mean shit, who in the fuck would send $4,500.00 to someone that they don�t know? Who the Hell would send money to one of these mugus anyway? Not Billy Lumberg. I also ask them why the code names have not been used. So I guess there is a couple of questions*

Quote:

Dearest Stank Ho and Office Bitch,
I am writing you because I have another question. Who is this person that I am sending the money to? I demand to know who Mr. Kenneth Ezeh is. I have never received any correspondence from this man, and I do not want to send any money to a person that I don't trust, let alone even know. Please understand. No money will be sent until I receive a letter and a picture from Mr. Kenneth Ezeh, and then I will assign him a nickname/codename. And that's another issue. We must continue use of the codenames. I have noticed that there has been some lacking in this area, but not on my part. As soon as this transaction is completed, we can go back to using our real names. Unless you guys like your codenames, you can tell your friends to address you by them, just as long as I get credit for creating them. Thanks. Until later then.
-Honky Lips

Quote:

ATTN Honkey Lips,

MODE OF PAYMENT

WE WRITE TO TELL YOU AGAIN THAT YOU SHOULD SEND US THE CHARGES THROUGH
WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

MR KENNETH EZEH IS A STAFF OF THIS COMPANY, HE IS INCHARGE OF THE
ACCOUNT SECTION.
WE KNOW HIM AND HE RECEIVES MONEY FOR THIS COMPANY.

PLEASE COMPLY TO THIS ORDER.

CORDIALLY,
NEWMAN HUGO

Quote:

Office Bitch-
Hey man. What's going on? Okay, I am glad that you said Western Union this time, as you said Western UnionJ in your last email. I can't even begin to explain how much time I spent searching for Western UnionJ, and the closest thing that we have here is a Flying J Truckstop. But I don't think that they could send any money, so I moved on. I will be more than happy to send the money today via Western Union, but right now it is a little past 6 o'clock in the morning, and the banks do not open for another 3 hours. As soon as I have all of the details, I will send them to you. But I was thinking. Shouldn't I send the money to Canada? Isn't that where he is? Oh well, I guess that I will just do what you say and send it to Nigeria. But don't you think for one minute that I will always do as you tell me, I am just trying to remain as professional and discreet as possible. So, I will send you all of the details as soon as they are available. Bye for now.
-Honky Lips

Quote:

hello,mr kenneth ezeh is the account officer of the security company i belive you where told.please i dont want any further delay in this matter, if you are ready to do business with me just lets go on as we are about to get to the end of this matter, i plead you to go and send the money to this company for the shipment ok.
Mariam

Billy Lumberg

Quote:

Stank Ho-
Tisk, tisk. You seem to be very angry at me, and I have no idea as to why. I have just informed Office Bitch that I will send the money Western Union as soon as the details are made available to me and the bank is open. So, get in line and take a number. Apparently, this money is driving everyone mad. What happened to love? It has also occurred to me that Mr. Kenneth Ezeh has yet to contact me. If I am sending $45,000.00 to him, don't you think that he would have the decency to drop me a line, send a picture, or even reach out and touch me with a simple phone call? This pains me a great deal, and I feel like I am being mistreated by him, and I don't even know who he is. I feel like I don't even know you anymore. I am not feeling so well, I am going to take a hot bath to ease my pain. I'll be in touch later. Bye.
-Honky Lips

*Notice how I changed the amount from $4,500 to $45,000? Woops! How could I have been so stupid? Was I just so insanely high on drugs that I made this silly mistake? Not by a longshot! We�ll see if these dumb little mugus notice, and say something. I figure it can only work for my benefit. I mean, if they say, �No, that�s too much� then I�ll have no choice but to ask for a refund, which takes more time, because I�ll have to resend the original amount. Plus, this will piss them off even more. If they don�t say anything, then they think that they are going to get an additional $40,500.00. Bottom line, they aren�t even getting a sample drop of sweat from my sack. I figure, any which way, I win*

Quote:

ATTN:
WE ARE WAITING TO HAVE THE INFORMATION OF THE TRANSFER.
THANK YOU AS YOU COMPLY TO THIS,
CORDIALLY,
NEWMAN HUGO

Quote:

My Dearest Office Bitch,
How are you today? I am doing okay. How is Stank Ho? I hope that she is well, she seemed angry at me in her last email, and I just wanted to make sure that she still was planning on coming to America after our transaction is complete. Okay, do I went to the Western Union, and I sent the $45,000.00 as you asked. I thought that the test question and answer were not to my liking, so I took the liberty of changing them, I hope this does not make matters worse. I can't see how it would though, it's only a question. This is the following Western Union information:

Sender's Name: William Lumberg, Esq.

Recipient's Name: Mr. Kenneth Ezeh

Recipient's Address: Enugu, Nigeria

Control Number: 3517645109

Test Question: Who You Gonna' Call?

Answer: Ghostbusters

So I guess that's that. Now where do we go from here? I am ready, willing and able to travel to Canada at the drop of a hat, so please keep me updated. Lastly, please, if there are any problems whatsoever, call my phone number. I will be out of the trailer all day, so I have linked my phone number to my cellular. My phone number is still the same. I'll give it to you again. Here it is: 206-xxx-xxxx. Feel free to call me as soon as we can proceed. I look forward to speaking with you. Have a super day, Office Bitch!
-Honky Lips

P.S.- Please check your computer, I think that your Caps Lock button is stuck. You have written me in all capital letters in your past few emails, and it makes me believe that you are mad at me for some reason. So, if you would, please try to rectify this immediately. Thanks again.

Quote:

Stank Ho-
I have just returned from sending the money. I have sent all of the details to Office Bitch. Now, on to you and me. I still have an apartment available for you, but this one is not in the Projects, this one is even better. This one is right on Compton Lake, it's gorgeous. It's in a little sub-division that we call Watts. Well, I have to go now, but when we finally meet, I will just give you the key. You will enjoy this very much, as will I. Hope to hear from you soon!
-Honky Lips

*So they didn�t say anything about the amount. That�s okay though, I am sue that they will notice that when they get to Western Union, there isn�t $45,000.00, let alone even $.45 pennies that await them*

Quote:

Attn Mr William L.

DEVELOPMENT

I wish to write you in this language because we are not happy as things
went this morning,

our account officer mr kenneth ezeh went to pick the money you sent
from the western union pay outlet, it is to our greates suprise he came
back without the money, he was turned down by the western union pay
outlet because there was no trace of such money you sent to us.

please you know this is a great offence , we herefore advise you go
and see what the problem is and make corrections.
note we expect to have the city from which you sent the money very
quickly, as we have moved already your consignment to the airport for cargo
to canada , we only need this money to make payment for the cago of
this consignment today.

thanking you most sincerly if you comply to this directives.
CORDIALLY
NEWMAN HUGO

Quote:

hello,
please why is it that the money is not there to be picked by mr kenneth ezeh
my son got a call from the security company saying the money was not found in the western union cashing out centre.
please make sure you sent the money correctly.
Mariam

*So it seems that they are mad at me. What a couple of ingrates. I think that I want to end it with these guys right now. They are boring me to death, and I am sure that they are doing the same to you. Now it�s time to net these fucking mugus right where they stand. The following email was sent to both Office Bitch and Stank Ho, but they are the same person. Shit, you already knew that, though*

Quote:

Attn: Office Bitch & Stank Ho:

Or should I simply just call you both Kenneth, as I know that is the only real name that was given to me. But shit, that's okay, because my real name is not William Lumberg, either. So tell me. What's happening? Yeah, about the money......... There is none. I lied to you guys, and I feel great. You stupid mugus, is this really what you both (or one person, named Kenneth Ekeh), have devoted your lives to? That is a fucking shame, as you are some dumb and pathetic mugu morons. I mean shit, you couldn't even pick up on the little details. For example, the supposed "Western Union Control Number", 3517645109 . 3 out of the last 6 numbers are 419. Take a fucking hint! God must really hate you, for making you as stupid as you are. You will spend the remainder of your days in Hell, and maybe even prison, where there will be about 10+ ball-busting homeboys ready to make a playground out of your ass. I can assure you that while you receive your daily visit from the salami vendor, that myself and a shitload of others will be reading this, and laughing our asses off at how stupid you mugus really are. Did you take me for a fool? Well, the joke is on you fuckface, you get nothing from me, except more reasons to play hopscotch in the highway. You 419 Lagos Lad Mugu dumbshits. I would also like to add that I forwarded all of your emails (along with my replies, I figued that they could use a good laugh), to the proper authorities in both Nigeria, and in the United States. So in closing, thanks, it has been fun. Now it is time to move on to the next mugu, as I will always get a big kick out of scamming the scammer. Lastly, go out and get an education and a job you stupid mugu. Consider yourself a mugu and a maga. Bitch.

You've Been Had,
William Lumberg, Esq.

P.S.- Thank you for also sticking with the codenames. Remember, I get credit if you ever decide to use one or any of them!

*I never received a reply from these mugus, and I do regret ending it so early. But judging by the 2 voicemails that were left for me by Office Bitch, they would have ended it if I didn�t first. Hell, at least I got mine*

I am now kicking myself. After reading through the entire letter, I am realizing now that I was just winding this bastard up. I could have kept it going longer. Oh well, learn from your mistakes right?

Thanks for reading, and maybe even laughing. Your opinions are definitely appreciated, as this is normally the way that I bait. I am a very animated and outspoken person in real life, and in general. I go for humor through descriptive words and outreageous pictures, while always keeping the mugu(s) on their toes. Any thoughts?

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 May 2004 Posts: 1008

There are some nice quotes in those emails. I personally like

Quote:

"what is wrong with you, if you are a drug adict please make sure you are clear each time you write mail in respect of this matter"

Master Baiter Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 114 Location: UK

Sometimes you just have to use these mugus as a stress outlet!! Great bait there, I enjoyed reading that.

Quote:

I wish to write you in this language because we are not happy as things
went this morning,

And the other language is...? Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2004 4:23 pm

Thanks. I try my best to beat the Hell out of them with a verbal onslaught as much as possible.

Quote:

And the other language is...?

I am not sure, whatever the fuck it is that those bastards speak.

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